Blue Ticket
Perfection.
Regulus Arcturus Black was perfection. He got perfect marks his entire life, perfect posture, perfect manners. Even his appearance had been groomed to perfection since the day he could walk.
James Fleamont Potter was the furthest thing from perfection. He was loud, and clumsy. His hair was messy, his clothes tousled, even his smile was crooked.
Maybe that’s why Regulus loved him so much…. Loved. He’d loved that crooked smile and smudged glasses. He’d loved every scar and birthmark. But perfection couldn’t love imperfection. Oil and water- it never would have worked out. Especially when Regulus had withdrawn within himself as he so often did. Hiding so far away that no loud boy could pry his soul out of him.
He stood on the side street of Knockturn Alley, ducked away from the rain thanks to a broken awning. The water still dripped on him gently though he didn’t mind the cold chill down his spine. It reminded him that he was in fact alive.
He loved water, the crash and pull of the tides of beaches that Father had taken the two brothers too long ago. He enjoyed the hours he could spend staring into the depths of the black lake from the slytherin common room. He’d coop himself up in the library for ages, claiming he was studying when in reality he was reading anything and everything he could about every aquatic creature he could.
“What’s this?” Regulus had asked, staring at the flimsy slips of paper James had tossed carelessly onto the book he had been boring over.
“Tickets.” the gryffindor grinned triumphantly, pushing Regulus’ books to the side so he could sit on the desk.
Regulus’ wrinkled his nose at the messy display but did not protest, “To what?”
“It's the London Zoo! They've got the first public aquarium in the world- a whole house of fish.” James exclaimed, spreading his arms wide as he spoke.
“A… house of fish?” the younger echoed with a raised brow.
“I’ll take you in the spring, just trust me, you’ll love it.”
James had promised. Regulus should have known better than to believe promises could be kept. Not even Potter could make good on his word.
James never did end up taking him. They’d called whatever they had had quits when Lord Voldemort rose to a high enough power that even Dumbledore seemed concerned.
Regulus reached into his pocket, finding the folded slip of paper once more. The fold had grown worn from continually opening and closing. The blue ink a little faded now, but no less legible. A small smile crept to his face as he traced a thumb over the dates on the ticket no matter how many months ago they had pointed to.
“Oh? What’s this?” Barty asked, tearing the slip from Regulus’ hands as he spun on his heel in the rain.
“Hey-” Regulus hissed quickly, reaching for the ticket, “It's none of your business, ok? Give it back before it gets wet.”
“What is this anyway?” Barty laughed, looking up as he held the ticket high out of the reach of the other, the rain hitting the thin paper almost immediately. Regulus’s eyes went wide with horror.
“Woah, must be something special.” the other slytherin said, his blue eyes following the shorter boy’s expression. A slight smirk coming to his lips as he noted the constantly collected Regulus Black now dripping wet and stunned.
Before Regulus could respond, Barty pressed the soggy ticket back into the hands of its rightful owner. Regulus felt the paper practically fall apart as his fingers touched it. He didn’t have a chance to look down before a pair of cold lips pressed against his own, slippery from the rainfall.
“Sorry love.” Barty muttered against the other’s dripping skin, “I can fix it if you want, I just got curious.”
Regulus looked down, pulling away from his boyfriend as he looked down at the ruined paper. He shook his head, “No, it's alright.” He muttered.
It was just an old expired ticket to a muggle building. It meant nothing… right?
He let it slip through his fingers, watching the pale blue ticket fall gently into a puddle along the uneven stone street. The rain pulled it away in a stream to a nearby drain. Just like that, it was gone.
James was gone.
“Love?” Barty asked once more, placing a hand against the small of Regulus’ back.
It means nothing. James has been gone for months, get over it. It's paper. He told himself as he looked back to the man he cared for. Barty wasn’t perfect either, nor was he beautifully imperfect like James had been. He was just Barty. Barty Crouch Jr.
He was Regulus’. Or at least he was supposed to be. Their relationship had never felt exactly real rather than lustful moments and heated conversations. There wasn’t a backbone to the dynamic but Regulus couldn’t care less. Barty made him forget better than a cigarette ever had. That's all he cared for anyway.
A distraction. Addiction. Whatever you wanted to call it… anything but love.
And that was the way it would stay.
Regulus didn’t want love anyway, love wasn’t real and it only hurt. His parents didn’t love one another and they turned out fine. His parents didn’t love him and he turned out fine.
To Regulus Arcturus Black, love was irrelevant.