Night Changes

She groaned in pain, using that groan as a placebo for actual relief.

Bloody freaking Merlin, that hurts.

Hermione stumbled as she let the rock fall into an empty clearing. The stress of levitating such a huge mass of rubble for the umpteenth time left her joints aching and her muscles straining.

I haven't "exercised" this much since the War.

"Next piece!" Someone called... For what felt like the hundredth time that day.

"Jawohl!" She shouted even though she felt like dying inside.

It wasn't nearly this bad after the Battle of Hogwarts...

That's because you had other Wizards to help you- now, you're just the one.

"Wingardium Leviosa."

She blew a stray curl out of her face as she strained under the weight; the curl, starting to become more of an irritant than the literal boulder she was made to levitate.

Not really "made" if you wholeheartedly agreed, Hermione.

Not now, Logic.

She felt the ground shake as she dropped the rubble into the clearing. Hermione swayed on her feet and let out a shaky breath.

Though her body ached all over and her mind felt numb, she knew it could be so much worse.

If not for Armin's plan…

Gosh, she internally exclaimed- thinking back to all the speculations she'd made before she'd gotten to know him. He really was the planner of the group.

He had managed to organize the construction in such a way that allowed for both her and Eren to handle most of the heavy lifting while others worked on the more delicate processes simultaneously.

It was quite efficient in practice and though she could easily do the more detail-oriented work, she had agreed to this plan, thinking it would be the best way to save time.

And to be honest, his plan had been much more lenient than this- much, much more.

The problem was her. She had promised too much- promised away parts of herself that she didn't even have. Promised her constant strength, her energy, her health.

So much so, that not even the nights could wash away her pain. Though, if asked, she'd swear up and down that she was doing just fine.

She leaned on her knees to catch her breath.

It had been weeks since they'd first started and there had rarely been time for rest- the days were long, the nights were restless, and soothing charms and Dittany could only do so much for chronic pain.

Merlin, I really wish I could see a healer right now.

She sluggishly looked over at the 15 meter Titan carrying a boulder on his shoulder.

The Scouts had not explicitly explained Titans to Hermione- even when they questioned her and she questioned back those first few days in the dungeon.

She'd already accepted that they'd given her the bare minimum to work with- hell, she didn't even know Eren was one until they'd first begun reconstruction. But that first time watching Eren transform into that 15 meter, cognizant Titan really put things into perspective.

She knew practically nothing about them- only their weak spots, how they look during transformation, that they are or once were human, and that only Eldians can be them.

And to her- that was nothing.

Hermione's curious, researching nature was begging for more information. But she could be patient- she could do that...

I think…

Through damp lashes, she continued to peer up at Eren's Titan form. She then wiped some of the sweat off her eyes.

At least Eren is helping me, poor guy. I couldn't even imagine what it would be like if he had to do this all alone.

Especially with him being so... distant.

Hermione hadn't known him long, but even she could tell something was… off. Must've been his friends' reactions that were so telling...

Maybe at dinner, we can-

"Last one, Witch!"

She stilled with pent-up rage. I have a name you know, she thought bitterly- the combined stress of the day and their interruption severely messing with her mood.

She nodded stiffly, unable to articulate anything kind or neutral at that moment.

She begrudgingly walked over to the next boulder. She tried taking a few deep breaths before her next go but was only able to muster a couple short, shaky gasps.

She looked around nervously. Hermione felt the pressure of many impatient, watchful eyes aimed at her.

I can do this. I can do this. These are people's homes, homes they can't go back to unless I pick up this stupid... Bloody... Boulder.

Despite her entire body telling her no- protesting with every possible sign they could give her- she carried on. Her arms convulsed and sweat poured down her cheeks as she levitated what felt like her millionth rock of the month.

Hermione could faintly hear cheers in the distance as she watched the boulder land on the clearing of dirt. She smiled, despite the fact that she had fallen onto her knees.

Now all they had to do was cut it into smaller chunks and-

Copper?

Why do I taste copper?

"Hey, Witch!"

"Oi, Witch!"

Shut up. Everyone shut up...

"Witch?"

"What's going on with the witch?"

Merlin- my head, my throat...

"Oi, someone go check up on her!"

"Not me! I'm not getting anywhere near her. She could be tricking us or something."

Shut up!

"Hey! What's going on here?" Armin? Oh, thank Merlin.

She collapsed onto the dirt, unable to lift her own weight any longer. She coughed, feeling the dusty air enter her lungs, the taste of her own blood more prominent than ever.

"Hermione?!" She could only groan in response. Armin...

She felt a hand hold up her head as another held her cheek, "Hermione, y-you're..." his fingertips slid down to her neck. Fuck- were her scars bleeding too?

"You're going to be okay. Okay? Can you hear me? Hermione?"

She softly nodded against his hands, tears bred from pain welling in her eyes.

"Okay. Okay, let's get you up, alright? You'll be okay, Hermione. I promise."

She heard a rush of footsteps coming closer, "Armin, what happened?" What sounded like Mikasa asked.

She heard other voices echo the sentiment.

"She collapsed- most likely due to fatigue from overworking. She's also bleeding. Her nose, her neck, her arm, all of its bleeding," he gasped through what sounded like tears.

He's so worried.

It'll take a lot more than this to kill me, Armin. Don't worry.

She heard the familiar whip of 3D maneuvering gear, "Oi brats, what's with all the noise." Levi.

"Captain, she's bleeding. A lot. We'll need to be careful on how we move her."

"Tch- move. I'll carry the brat. Go send for a medic and bring them to her tent."

"Yes, Captain!"

She felt herself become weightless. Levi's footsteps were smooth and gentle despite the harsh delivery of his words.

Awe... he really does care... Ahahaha, he cares!

She let out a hoarse chuckle in her delirium. He's a cold on the outside, warm on the inside type of guy, huh?

"Oi- what the hell are you laughing for, lazy ass?"

I'm going to have so much fun with this.

Levi carried her until she recognized the familiar feel of her bed underneath her. How'd they know the way to my bedroom so fast?

Armin must've let them know everything. She smiled at her ceiling. Sneaky bastard- can't believe I still like you.

"The medic will be here soon so hang tight."

She attempted at a nod, but stuck with a simple groan in acknowledgment, being that most of her energy was allocated to the hand clutching her wand.

Medic? To try and heal her? To stop the bleeding?

But muggle techniques won't...

Shit, shit, shit.

Forget the pain, forget the bleeding- they're going to see my scars!

She forced herself to look around. There's so many people here- many of them relatively recent acquaintances, or rather, Armin's friends.

She shut her eyes tight- in half part due to pain, in other part due to irritation.

I can't stand this- the vulnerability, the shame of having my scars, my past being wide out in the open.

Not your fault, Hermione. It wasn't your fault. It was all Bellatrix. She did this to you, not you.

"The medic's here," she didn't have the strength to reopen her eyes, but she did recognize Armin's voice.

"Oh- thank Sina, I was beginning to worry you wouldn't find them," she heard Sasha exclaim.

"Sorry, sorry. Hope it hasn't gotten too bad."

"No- she's, relatively, in the same state as when you found her," Jean consoled.

She heard the rustling and clinking of supplies, and the shuffling of feet coming closer to her bed.

"Let's see here..." the medic immediately began administering her nosebleed.

"Other than her neck and arm, are there any other areas with open wounds?"

"None that we've seen."

She attempted at a squirm- to warn them of the futility of their methods- but was promptly ignored.

"Mm."

Hermione felt something cool hit her neck- that won't work. She grit her teeth.

"Eek!" She heard the medic shout.

"What- What is it?"

"Her neck- it's rejecting the poultice!

Hermione began convulsing on the bed, her wounds opening further. She shrieked in pain.

This is worse than the first time I tried using muggle methods.

"Hermione!"

Merlin above, that hurts like a bitch! Ah!

She felt the side of her bed dip with the weight of someone leaning on it- Armin?

A familiar laugh began to manifest in her mind. No- not her. Not now-

She heard a sizzling come from the base of her neck and she couldn't even begin to imagine what they were seeing come out of her wound.

Hermione whimpered as she heard Bellatrix's manic laughing ring in her ears.

"What the hell is going on?!" Maybe if I wasn't under such immense pain, Levi, I'd tell you, she thought bitterly- though, she wasn't mad at him, more of the situation she was put in.

"I'm sorry to say, but I don't know! This seems beyond modern medical practices!"

"Then fucking wipe it off, wipe off whatever you put on her!" He cares!

A sharp cackle interrupted her exaltation. Shut up, you crazed witch!

"Yes. Please wipe it off." She felt his hand entwine with hers. Oh, Armin. Ever the diplomat.

"Yes yes. Right away," they sounded nervous. Hermione grit her teeth as she felt cloth rub against her wound. Screw you!

"Unh!"

"Sorry, sorry. This should be over soon," they continued to wipe off the poultice as gently as they could, "The best we can do is bandage her wounds and hope for the best."

Hermione's pain began to wane and the manic laugh quieted, but she still lacked the energy to move, "There's nothing we can do until she can start speaking again, she- she might know something we don't."

"Mm. You should get started on dressing her wounds."

"Oh! Of course, Captain Levi."

She squirmed, the exhaustion causing the logic to leave her body. No, stop! Don't touch my arm. Stop!

"Hey, it's going to be okay, you'll be okay," Armin cooed.

She heard similar words of encouragement, she could even single out Mikasa's hum in agreement. Her friends. She truly had friends here.

Tears leaked through her closed eyes. She felt her left sleeve start to roll up her arm.

She felt the air turn stale and a stiff silence washed over the group.

Weak- so weak... and now they know.

"Did someone-" Hermione let out a wracking sob.

Quickly, as to stop the bleeding- and to hide the sight of the carved word on her arm- the medic began bandaging her wound.

A hand gently began stroking through her curls as best as they could, "It's alright. It's alright, Hermione. They're not here. They can't hurt you anymore." She nodded against his hand, soothed by his words. It was times like these that left her glad to have aided in saving him on that faithful day.

"Was that a word? On her arm?" Connie... please shut up.

"...Yes, Connie. It was..."

Hermione scrunched her face in discomfort- the combination of physical pain and embarrassment taking a toll on her.

She felt Armin's hand squeeze hers in reassurance.

After the medic dressed her neck and deemed that there were no other injuries, they gathered their supplies, "Well, I'll be taking my leave, but I'll come back tomorrow to redress her wounds."

Jean answered them with gratitude, "Thank you for your effort."

"Mm, you're welcome. Please try and get some rest, Fräulein Granger."

I'll try.

As soon as they left she heard Connie readdress Armin, "You've been learning her language for a while now, right? So... Do you know what it means?"

"...No- I don't... It doesn't seem like the type of word you'd be introduced to when you've just begun a language."

There was a beat of silence.

Did they understand it to be an epithet, a slur, a curse on her very being?

"Ah, I see," Levi sighed, "I'll leave her to you. I'll go inform the Commander of what happened here."

Apparently, Levi did... or might...

A chorus of "Yes Captains" echoed in the room.

She heard Levi greet someone on his way out, "Guys? Guys, what's going on?" Eren? Was he finally done for the day?

She listened as they recapped the events to him. He seemed to go quiet before quietly asking, "...Will she be okay?"

"We don't know..."

I'll be fine, she grit her teeth- but her scoff in resilience translated more into a groan of pain.

Armin rubbed gentle circles into her palm in response.

"And you said there was no us..." Connie chuckled. What on Earth is Connie even talking about?

Wait, us?

"That was weeks ago." Hm?

"Eh?! You're not denying it?!"

He means us, us? Like Us... as a-? So it wasn't just all in my head...

He fancies me...

And I reciprocate...

Does that mean...?

"Armin?" She heard Eren ask in confusion.

Oh my... he really is just that oblivious.

"I'm not confirming it either, Connie..." Armin sighed in exhaustion.

"Confirming what?" Eren, she internally growled in frustration.

"Eren..." Mikasa sighed in defeat.

It seems like everything is pissing me off… except Armin of course- and Mikasa.

Merlin, I do not feel like myself, she lamented.

Jean began, almost one-sidedly, arguing with Eren over his apparent ignorance of anything romance-related. Even Connie and Sasha got in on it- going back and forth between dangling the truth in his face and calling him stupid.

But all he did was remain calmly confused.

It was cute- truly, but she wanted- no needed for them to just shut the hell up!

With Armin being Armin, he noticed her annoyance right away and tried to lessen her stressors, "I'm sorry, I really am- but I think it'd be best if you guys left- just for the moment."

"...Oh, yeah- of course. C'mon guys, let's go."

As they left, she heard Eren scoff, "I'd think Armin would tell me if they were together or something."

The sentence almost gave her the strength to open her eyes and give Armin a very "done" look.

I'd think it'd be obvious looking outside in...

Huh.

We have been quite obvious, haven't we? We sit together during meal times, we touch every chance we get, and he escorts me almost everywhere.

... is there an Us?

He stayed by her side, singlehandedly saving her from the torture of being touch starved during such a painful experience.

"Do you want to listen to some Michael?" Oh, he knows me so well.

Hermione's eyes gleamed under her eyelids. Merlin, yes! She nodded as wide as she could.

"Alright, alright," he chuckled, endeared by her response.

He spent the rest of the afternoon doting on her- even though she thought she didn't need it.

At one point, she regained enough energy to open her eyes and even croak out a few sentences.

She lifted her fingers as much as she could, "Armin, c-can you help me bring my wand arm towards my scars?"

"Yes, of course," he gently lifted her wrist to her wounds.

After casting the appropriate, interim spells over her bandaged wounds she melted into the bed, a feeling of relief washing over her.

"Hermione- about your arm-"

She looked away in shame, "-please, Hermione. Will it heal? Will you be okay?"

She gave the question some thought. In all honesty, she had given up on the idea of a "cure" years ago. And though it wasn't impossible- it was certainly, currently unattainable.

She shook her head, "No- No, I don't think it will ever heal," her eyes began to water, "And that's all I'm going to say on the matter."

He nodded in understanding.

"Then let me stay with you tonight."

She raised a brow at him.

He spluttered, hands held in front of him in defense, "I- I- th-that's not what I meant. I mean- just till you go to sleep," he scratched the back of his neck.

He's so cute, she cooed through unshed tears.

He wiped them away before they could fall on her cheeks, and let the hand rest by her side, "I won't stay the whole night- I'll need a good night's rest too. I've got an example to set," he joked.

"Well, you set it well. I don't know how you do it- how you balance everything."

"Blame it on the Military," he shrugged, cheeks flushing pink at her praise.

Hermione smiled at his humility. "No, I have a feeling that's all you," she slightly slurred, still tired from the day's events.

Armin lifted his hand to rest it on her head.

He cleared his throat in an attempt to hide his blush, "Well, I'm glad you think so."

Still in a pain-induced daze, she hummed as he ruffled her hair affectionately.

"And I'm glad you're able to talk again- but I really think you should take it easy for the rest of the night."

She nodded a bit wider, hoping to receive more head pats.

She closed her eyes as he indulged her, "Do get some sleep, Hermione. I'll make sure to be here in the morning."

She nodded once again- this time softly, the sleepiness already setting in.

"Goodnight, Mondlein," was the last thing she heard before she finally dozed off.

...

Hermione woke to the light sound of footsteps. She strained her sore neck to see that it was Armin pacing by her bed.

"Oh- I'm sorry if I woke you-"

"No. No, I woke all by myself," she tried to sit up.

"Here, let me," he leaned his knee on her bed to help her sit up, then quickly left her bed to stand at her side.

"Thank you," she croaked.

"My pleasure," he gave her a pained smile.

They stared at each other- in most parts relief, in other parts awkwardness.

"...Guten Morgan?" She added sheepishly.

"Good morning," he replied in English, a slight smile beginning to grow on his face.

She tried moving her legs but felt an insurmountable amount of soreness in them.

Hermione wanted to walk to the makeshift mess hall and get breakfast by herself, but, of course, the endeavor was futile.

She sighed in defeat.

"When do you think I can start walking again?"

He massaged his nose bridge and sighed, "Hermione- how many times have I told you not to overexert yourself-"

Endeared by his worry, she chuckled despite the hoarseness of her throat, "-a million?"

"Yes, a million," he sighed again.

Armin sat on the edge of her bed, gently placing his hand just a hair's breadth beside her own. His face was grave- he couldn't seem to find the humor in the situation like she had.

"Why do you insist on doing this, Hermione? Why can't you take care of yourself the same way you take care of everyone else?" His eyes were pained, but she could tell he held a certain fondness for the flaw nonetheless.

Her smile vanished as he finished his question and she fidgeted with the loose folds of her bedsheet.

She felt conflicted. No one had ever reprimanded her so bluntly before, no one had ever put their foot done for her health like he had.

Her childhood friends found her work habits annoying yet endearing- they never truly tried to stop her, finding it a part of her... which it was...

But...

But it was a part of her that was also simultaneously killing her.

She knew that of course- and sometimes she didn't care.

Merlin, that's depressing...

She loved her friends for letting her be herself- she really did, but she also felt a bit resentful that they hadn't recognized how enabling her was also killing her.

But that wasn't their job, it was mine. If I can acknowledge it- I can work on it.

I'll work on it.

She doubled down.

But she also knew that if she didn't do the work... who would? Who would put in the same effort to reach the same goals- to receive the same genuine results?

… No one.

I'm the Brightest Witch of my Age, the face of Magical Creature's Rights activism, and a muggleborn who became a hero for the Wizarding World... and I didn't get there by being selfish.

I've had to give up so much of myself for it all... for Harry, for Ron, for the War... it's all I know.

It's all I feel like I can do.

She sighed, recognizing her destructive thought process.

When I get back home... When I get back home I'll be better... I promise...

She looked tiredly into his Ocean eyes searching for the right words to say, "Because... because if I don't, who will?" She answered despondently. Hermione closed her eyes and sighed.

"For as long as I can remember, I've had to be the brain, the neck, the spine- bearing the weight, keeping everything together, getting everyone on the right track. I- I don't know anything else and I... I think I'm scared to..."

Her lip trembled at the confession and she blinked away fresh tears, "And what would I be- who would I be w-without that."

He gave her a sad smile, "You'd be healthier, Hermione," he brushed the stubborn, stray curls away from her face and rested the hand on her cheek. Hermione felt her cheeks warm under his ministrations.

A-Armin...

He brought his free hand to hold hers as he continued speaking, "Rely on me, Hermione," he tightened his hold.

"Share your burden with me- for as long as you can," he pleaded, voice soft yet firm.

He looked down at their joined hands and held her own close to his heart, "Break free, be more. Be your truest, healthiest self."

He steeled his gaze towards her, "Be healthy with me."

New tears sprang forth- this time from relief, from joy, from all things good and right with the world.

"Armin," she gave his hand a squeeze, "I would like that. I would like that very much."

She tried for a shaky smile.

He rubbed gentle circles into the back of her hand, "Good, that's... good." He sent her a gentle smile that melted her heart.

This man is dangerous- so very dangerous. She nuzzled further into his palm.

He looked conflicted for just the slightest moment before leaning forward to place a kiss on her forehead.

Oh my-

"I'll go bring you breakfast," She felt an involuntary grin spread across her face, "No- no stay. Just for a little while longer," she pleaded with her warm doe eyes.

Hermione knew it was a weakness of his and she smirked to herself as he conceded to her wish.

"Alright," he grinned, knowing he had been played, "Just for a little while."

"Mm," she nodded, pleased with herself.

They managed to spend a good portion of the morning in each other's company- up until Armin was called to supervise the reconstruction.

"I'll make sure to ask the guard to bring you breakfast," he said as he stood from the bed.

"Mm, Sehr aufmerksam," she nodded to him.

"Nothing to thank me for," he replied in English with a smile, then turned to leave.

Look at my little soldier boy go.

She sighed.

If only a little while could last forever...

But she knew her time with him was limited- guarded by the ticking clock of her stay in this world.

Because she would get back, no matter what.

Whether it be in 6 months or a year, a decade or a lifetime- she'd find a way to come back home.

No matter what, no matter what. She sighed into the headboard. No matter what...