Red (Taylor's Version)
[peanut butter jelly time!]
11:58 pm
(b)utter is a swiftie: IM FREAKING OUT SOMEONE COME PICK ME UP
(b)utter is a swiftie: IM GOING TO CRY I LOVE YOU TAYLOR SWIFT
(b)utter is a swiftie: EVERYONE COUNTDOWN??????
j(g)elly: UHM YES OFC????
(b)utter: I DONT EVEN LIKE TAYLOR SWIFT THAT MUCH BUT YOUVE GOTTEN ME SO HYPED FOR THIS ALBUM THAT IM EXCITED
(p)eanut: IVE LISTENED TO A COUPLE OF HER ALBUMS BUT SAME:))) YOU HAVE AN EFFECT ON PEOPLE LILS
(b)utter is a swiftie: IM SO GLAD I CONVERTED ALL OF YOU TO SWIFTIES
(b)utter: no babe who told you that im just excited 😕😕
(b)utter is a swiftie: WHATEVER IM JUST SO HAPPY AHH
j(g)elly: OMG LILY SHUT UP THERE’S LIKE 10 SECONDS LEFT
j(g)elly: 10
(b)utter is a swiftie: NINE
(p)eanut: SEVENNNNN
(b)utter is a swiftie: BY TAYLOR SWIFT SO TRUE
(b)utter: FOUR
j(g)elly: 3!!
(p)eanut: TWOOOO
(b)utter is a swiftie: ONE
(b)utter is a swiftie: ITS OUT OMFGOMFOGMOFMG EVERYONE RUN (FT ED SHEERAN) (TAYLORS VERSION) (FROM THE VAULT) TO SPOTIFY
(b)utter is a swiftie: GO BITCHES GO
j(g)elly: MINE ISN’T LOADING OMG WHAT THE FUCK???
(b)utter is a swiftie: SAME IS SPOTIFY HATECRIMING US RN :(
(p)eanut: THIS IS SO SAD
(b)utter: HAAAAAAA BITCHES ITS WORKING FOR ME
(b)utter is a swiftie: WHAT
(b)utter is a swiftie: YOU DONT EVEN LIKE HER THAT MUCH WHY DOES IT WORK FOR YOU
(b)utter is a swiftie: WHATS YOUR SPOTIFY PASSWORD MARY
(b)utter: no can do bff
(b)utter: OMG YOU WERE SO RIGHT TO HYPE THIS UP LILY WOW
j(g)elly: THIS ISN’T FAIR STOP MAKING US JEALOUS
(p)eanut: OMG MIIINE WORRRKEEEEDDDDD ITS SO GOOD TAYLOR
(b)utter is a swiftie: HOW IS THIS FAIR THE TWO PEOPLE WHO ACTUALLY ARE SWIFTIES CANT LISTEN TO IT
(b)utter is a swiftie: LOOK THIS IS LITERALLY MY FUCKING SCREEN IVE BEEN REFRESHING IT EVERY SECOND AND IT ISNT LOADING
(b)utter is a swiftie:
j(g)elly: SHUT UP MY SCREEN LOOKS THE SAME
j(g)elly: #twinning
[ (b)utter is a swiftie changed their name to spotify is lilyphobic ]
spotify is lilyphobic: OMGOMGOMOMGOGMOGMGOMGOGMGO IT WORKED LETS GO I LOVE YOU SPOTIFY
j(g)elly: WAIT LET ME CHECK MINE
j(g)elly: it didn’t work :((
j(g)elly:
(b)utter: click the play button dumbass
j(g)elly: OH
j(g)elly: thanks marypoo
(b)utter: im never helping you again if you call me that
j(g)elly: sorry marypoo🥺🥺
(p)eanut: everyone shut up im trying to enjoy the album
(b)utter: sorry dolphin
[peanut butter jelly time!]
2:58 am
j(g)elly:
j(g)elly: you see that middle finger? yeah that’s me flipping off jake gyllenhaal
j(g)elly: you see how my eyes are slightly wet? yeah that’s me crying after listening to this mother fucking album taylor i love you
(p)eanut: FUCK YOU JAKE GYLLENHAAL FUCK YOU YOU HURT TAYLOR I WILL HURT YOU
[ (p)eanut changed their name to fuck you jake gyllenhaal ]
[ j(g)elly changed their name to taylor swift is a pharb ]
(b)utter: that album was so beautiful i sobbed the whole time
(b)utter: except for we are never ever getting back together
fuck you jake gyllenhaal: THE ‘WEEEEEE’ 😭😭
taylor swift is a pharb: it’s giving ‘hey kids spelling is fun!’
(b)utter: HELPPP
[ (b)utter changed their name to mary | red era ]
mary | red era: i hate to admit it but.. i might be a swiftie now
fuck you jake gyllenhaal: mary out of her flop era??
taylor swift is a pharb: not until she listens to her whole discography
fuck you jake gyllenhaal: omg so true speak now top 3
mary | red era: OKAY ILL GO LISTEN IDC IF I GET NO SLEEP
mary | red era: WHICH ALBUMS
taylor swift is a pharb: REPUTATION
fuck you jake gyllenhaal: ew wtf no
fuck you jake gyllenhaal: listen to speak now and the sister albums
mary | red era: bitch like i know what the fuck that means
taylor swift is a pharb: first off, stfu cas reputation is the superior album
taylor swift is a pharb: secondly, the sister albums are folklore and evermore
taylor swift is a pharb: yw
mary | red era: thank you *remus* 😒 (directed at you cas)
fuck you jake gyllenhaal: racist??
mary | red era: im literally a poc??
fuck you jake gyllenhaal: idc
mary | red era: imagine being white
mary | red era: laughs in remus
taylor swift is a pharb: SHUT UP MARY
mary | red era: never
mary | red era: anyways im going to listen to them now so shut up
mary | red era: NO ONE TELL LILY
mary | red era: she’ll never let me live it down
taylor swift is a pharb: they’re not even here rn how could we 😨
mary | red era: fuck off
mary | red era: ok bye swifties
fuck you jake gyllenhaal: im not a swiftie..
mary | red era: whatever you say dorkypoo
spotify is lilyphobic: WHATS UP FUCKERS IM BACK AND GUESS WHO CRIED FOR 3 HOURS STRAIGHT LISTENING TO TAYLORS ALBUM
spotify is lilyphobic: THIS FUCKER🥰
fuck you jake gyllenhaal: yay..?
fuck you jake gyllenhaal: OMFG GUESS WHAT LILY
taylor swift is a pharb: MARY IS A SWIFTIE LMFAOOO
fuck you jake gyllenhaal: omg telepathic
fuck you jake gyllenhaal: remus what am i thinking of rn
taylor swift is a pharb: um.. you’re thinking about taylor swift? idk cas😭
fuck you jake gyllenhaal: no im thinking about how pissed mary is going to be when she checks this chat LMFAO shes gonna call us both bitches
taylor swift is a pharb: oh
taylor swift is a pharb: cheers
spotify is lilyphobic: MARY???
spotify is lilyphobic: A SWIFTIE???? LMFAOOOO
spotify is lilyphobic: MY LIFE IS COMPLETE
spotify is lilyphopbic:@mary | red era
taylor swift is a pharb: NOOOO LILY
fuck you jake gyllenhaal: currently debating leaving remus alone w boss bitch mary
taylor swift is a pharb: OMFG I SWEAR DORCAS
mary | red era: YOU BITCHES WHAT THE FUCK DID I SAY BEFORE I LEFT OH MY FUCKING GOD
taylor swift is a pharb: tell lily?
fuck you jake gyllenhaal: omg
fuck you jake gyllenhaal: I PREDICTED THE FUTURE
fuck you jake gyllenhaal: i should be a fortune teller ngl
fuck you jake gyllenhaal: everything i've been doing for the past couple years spiritually hasn't been for nothing😍
mary | red era: what
fuck you jake gyllenhaal: I PREDICTED YOU WOULD YELL AT US AND CALL US BITCHES
mary | red era: omg im coming over rn teach me your secrets i need to get some girls
taylor swift is a pharb: thank god
mary | red era: dont think ive forgotten about you remus john lupin
mary | red era: ill get to you soon dont you worry
spotify is lilyphobic: OMG SO SHE IS A SWIFTIE
spotify is lilyphobic: LMAOO IM NEVER GONNA LET HER LIVE THIS DOWN
mary | red era: NVM FUCK THIS IM COMING LUPIN BE READY
taylor swift is a pharb: CAS SAVE ME
fuck you jake gyllenhaal: no can do babe x
taylor swift is a pharb: i hope your crystals disintegrate
fuck you jake gyllenhaal: THAT WAS FUCKING UNCALLED FOR FUCK U REMUS
[peanut butter jelly time!]
4:38 am
spotify is lilyphobic: i forgot to say
spotify is lilyphobic: taylor made a movie for atw tmv and its premiering at 7pm us time, which is 12 here so we’re all getting together and watching it idc
taylor swift is a pharb: ok but why are you still awake
spotify is lilyphobic: the irony..
[hotties asf 🥵😈💪]
10:29 am
hotcoolsexylesbian: hello.
thefinesthomosexualintheworld: omg not you again..
thefinesthomosexualintheworld: dont message me im trying to sleep
hotcoolsexylesbian: sirius its almost 11
thefinesthomosexualintheworld: i barely got any sleep last night i was crying
hotcoolsexylesbian: LMFAO OVER WHAT
hotcoolsexylesbian: HOW YOUR ‘PARTNER’ DOESNT EVEN KNOW YOU EXIST
thefinesthomosexualintheworld: no
thefinesthomosexualintheworld: loml knows i exist and is obsessed with me😍😍
thefinesthomosexualintheworld: but thats besides the point i wasnt crying over them
hotcoolsexylesbian: then what were you crying over
hotcoolsexylesbian: music??😭
thefinesthomosexualintheworld: UHM NO!
hotcoolsexylesbian: omfg you were crying over music
hotcoolsexylesbian: we’re not friends anymore
hotcoolsexylesbian:
thefinesthomosexualintheworld: you are mean
thefinesthomosexualintheworld: someday ill be living in a big old city and all youre ever going to be is MEAN
hotcoolsexylesbian: what the fuck?
hotcoolsexylesbian: are you high sirius
thefinesthomosexualintheworld: no
thefinesthomosexualintheworld: im quoting taylor swift
hotcoolsexylesbian: omfg were you listening to her new album last night is that why you were crying
thefinesthomosexualintheworld: spot on marls😍
hotcoolsexylesbian: k
hotcoolsexylesbian: anyway do you want to hang out with marys friend group today
hotcoolsexylesbian: ur ‘soulmate’ will be there
thefinesthomosexualintheworld: YES YES ONE HUNDRED TIMES YES
hotcoolsexylesbian: ok ask james and pete if they wanna join too
thefinesthomosexualintheworld: also why did you put soulmate in quotations.
thefinesthomosexualintheworld: WAIT WTF WHAT WILL I WEAR
hotcoolsexylesbian: LMFAO
thefinesthomosexualintheworld: MARLENE HELP ME WHAT AM I GOING TO WEAR I NEED TO LOOK COOL
hotcoolsexylesbian: bye!😁
thefinesthomosexualintheworld: MARLS GET YOUR ASS BACK HERE
[ 🐾🐀🦌 ]
11:13 am
padfoot: hello all who wants to join marlene, mary, mary’s other friend group (😒) and i tonight! at mary’s friend’s house!
prongs: wait that’ll be so fun!! yes please!
prongs: wormy?
wormtail: for sure! x
padfoot: great! timings around 6 i think idk
[ hotties asf 🥵😈💪 ]
11:15 am
thefinesthomosexualintheworld: MARAUDERS ARE INNN
thefinesthomosexualintheworld: still pissed at you marls btw
hotcoolsexylesbian: k? idc
hotcoolsexylesbian: you know the timing right
thefinesthomosexualintheworld: 6 right
hotcoolsexylesbian: omg you have a memory
thefinesthomosexualintheworld: stfu
[ m&ms ]
12:00 pm
marley&me: did you ask your friends yet?
marley&me: sirius, james and peter all said yes
marley&me: mary??
[ m&ms ]
1:32 pm
marley&me: mary its been over an hour
[ m&ms ]
2:14 pm
marley&me: mary wtf
marley&me: you better not be ghosting me
[ m&ms ]
2:42 pm
maryhadalittlelamb: SORRY I WAS SLEEPING
maryhadalittlelamb: JUST WOKE UP
marley&me: mary its almost 3..
maryhadalittlelamb: I SLEPT AT SIX DONT BULLY ME
marley&me: wtf why
maryhadalittlelamb: i was.. listening to music!
marley&me: ok valid excuse IF it’s a good artist
marley&me: who were you listening to.
maryhadalittlelamb: taylor swift.. i think i identify as a swiftie now..
marley&me: OH MY FUCKING GOD NOT YOU TOO
marley&me: SIRIUS BARELY GOT SLEEP LAST NIGHT BECAUSE OF TAYLOR SWIFT TOO
marley&me: i swear if i have to deal with another swiftie in my life im going to lose it
maryhadalittlelamb: ok so lose it!😁
marley&me: you’re mean
maryhadalittlelamb: by taylor swift
marley&me: IM SICK OF THAT FUCKING JOKE SIRIUS SAID THE SAME THING TODAY
marley&me: GO ASK YOUR FRIENDS AND DONT TALK TO ME AGAIN
[ peanut butter jelly time! ]
2:58 pm
mary | red era: hi who wants to have a little movie party with my other friends today :))
mary | red era: BTW TAYLOR WAS SO GOOD OMFG I CANT
spotify is lilyphobic: LMFAOOOOOO
mary | red era: lily i swear if you dont shut the fuck up
spotify is lilyphobic: ok i’ll shut up i know you used to go to martial arts classes
mary | red era: so glad that era of my life still serves a purpose currently
spotify is lilyphobic: anywayyy
spotify is lilyphobic: sure!! it’ll be fun to meet new people (my gf isnt new but lets pretend)
spotify is lilyphobic: HOWEVER WE HAVE TO WATCH THE PREMIERE OF ATW TMV IDC
taylor swift is a pharb: YES YES YES SO TRUE LILS
mary | red era: ok i take it youre coming too remus
mary | red era: dorcas??
fuck you jake gyllenhaal: i am ALWAYS down for a party
mary | red era: i really dont think its going to be a party but slay!
mary | red era: oh btw youre hosting lily 😁
spotify is lilyphobic: homophobic
fuck you jake gyllenhaal: MARY STOP USING THAT GRINNING EMOJI OMFG
mary | red era: 😁
fuck you jake gyllenhaal: i hate you
mary | red era: thats impossible
mary | red era: im the best 😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁