Back to Disappointments
Chapter 9
Draco woke up at exactly 5:30 the next morning. He pulled open his curtain and noticed that he was the first one to wake up.
He got up quietly and picked out his clothes for the day before walking into the bathroom. He stepped into the shower and started to wash his hair. He got a new set of shampoo and conditioner before he left. It made his hair softer than ever and smelled like green apples.
Once he was finished with his shower, he walked out of the shower and started to go through his morning routine. He tried not to look in the mirror as he did so. He felt disgusted with himself for doing the one thing that would upset his father the most. He knew that he shouldn’t care after everything his father did to him in his other timeline, but he still wanted to keep peace with him.
Draco put that thought in the back of his mind and started to fix his hair. He decided to keep slicking it back with gel because he knew anything else would be going against his father, his family, even more.
Draco walked back out into the dorm he shared and everyone else was now up and also getting ready for their first day of classes. He went over to his bed to talk to Neville who was reading a herbology book.
“Is your book good?” Draco asked.
“Yeah, my grandmother got it for me when we went shopping in Diagon Alley,” Neville said smiling. “What time are we meeting Hermione?” He asked.
“Around 7” Draco told him.
“I better start getting ready. Then we can head down to the common room.” Neville said, grabbing his clothes.
Draco glanced around the room and saw the rest of the boys in the dorm in a group talking about school.
Ron Weasley looked up and saw Draco looking towards them and said “Do you need something or are you just listening to what we say so you can go run off and tell your father everything we say?”
All the other boys laughed with him. Draco knew he didn’t belong here. Every minute he was in Gryffindor that became clearer. The only thing that made him feel welcomed was Neville.
Draco looked at Potter. He wasn’t laughing with the rest of them, but that didn’t make Draco feel any better. Draco hadn’t done anything to Harry this time. He didn’t insult his friends or make choices for him, but Potter still chose Weasley.
Draco didn’t blame him. Part of him told himself he deserved it. He shouldn’t have friends. He just ruins people’s lives. Another part of him thought Why wasn’t he good enough to be Potter’s friend?
“No, I just got a glimpse of your face and was stunned that you were going to go out with that giant blemish on your forehead.” Draco said. He wasn’t going to be pushed around by some eleven year old Weasley.
Ron’s face grew red and his hands went straight to his forehead. “Where?” he asked when he couldn’t find it.
“Oh just right there,” Draco replied, flicking his wand and muttering a spell to cause a red blemish to form on Weasley’s forehead.
Draco smiled as he was satisfied with Weasley’s annoyed reaction and grabbed his bag filled with his school books, sketchbook, and the other school supplies he needed from off his bed. He then headed out of their dorms and down the stairs to the common room.
Draco sat on one of the couches as he waited for Neville and Granger to meet him. He looked down at his watch and it was six forty five. They should be down any minute, he thought.
Draco pulled out his sketchbook and started to draw to pass the time. He did this a lot when he was frustrated. It distracted him from what was going on in his life.
Draco was drawing a sketch of Neville on the train. He was about done with basic layout when he felt the couch sink beside him. He looked next to him and saw Granger with a book in her lap.
“What are you reading?” Draco asked.
“Hogwarts: A History. I’m almost done with it.” She said.
“Neville should be down any minute.” Draco said.
Granger nodded and turned back to her book.
Draco didn’t know what to say to her. He had bullied her their whole time and Hogwarts and even though she doesn’t know how he treated her, he felt awful. He thought by acting the way he did he would make his father proud, but he only hurt people and made his father disappointed.
Just as Draco was about to start a small conversation with Granger to end the awkward silence between the two, Neville walked down the stairs and joined Draco and Granger in the common room.
"Sorry I took so long. Should we go down to the Great Hall now?" Neville asked smiling at the two.
"Yeah, we should." Draco said, checking the time once more and led them out the common room door.
"Do you know what class we have first?" Neville asked as they walked down the stairs.
"Potions" Draco and Granger said at the same time.
"Oh no. I've heard Professor Snape is miserable in class. Especially if you're with the Slytherins. I overheard the other boys in our dorm talking about him while Draco was getting ready. Ron said he favors all the Slytherins and is hard on anyone who isn't one." Neville said.
"I'm sure he was exaggerating. A professor wouldn't show favoritism that blatantly. It's unprofessional." Granger said and looked around to where they were at. "Are you sure we're going the right way? This isn't the way we came up last night."
"I'm sure. I'm just taking a shortcut. We'll get there faster." Draco reassured her.
"How do you know shortcuts? We've been here less than a day." Granger questioned.
"My family's gone here for years. My parents told me about them before I left." Draco replied not wanting to continue on the topic. The last thing he needed was Granger questioning why he knew so much about this school. She's the brightest witch of their age, and he didn't put it past her to pick up on mistakes he would make. Anyone could if they paid attention. Draco knew he would have to be careful with everything he did.
“What did you do to Ron while I was gone, Draco? He was fuming with anger when I came out of the bathroom and sarcastically told me what a great friend I had,” Neville asked.
“I just gave him what he deserved. Maybe he will learn it’s better to keep his mouth shut and not instigate,” Draco replied.
He continued walking towards the Great Hall with Neville and Granger right behind him. They changed the conversation to something with herbology which Draco easily fell out of and got lost in his thoughts. He knew that he didn’t want to live the same life that he did before, but he never thought it would change him this much. A couple of different decisions and now he was a Gryffindor with different friends and a different wand.
He knew that he needed to be more careful and at least try and follow a similar timeline to the past, so everything wasn’t totally different. At least what has changed has only majorly affected my life, Draco reasoned to himself.
"Draco. Draco." he heard a voice say and remembered where he was.
"Draco we're here." Neville said, nodding towards the doors of the Great Hall. "Are you okay? You seemed out of it on the way here."
"Yeah I'm fine. I was just thinking about some things. We should head inside. I'm kind of hungry." Draco said and opened the doors.
The three of them walked down the rows and took and seat at the Gryffindor table.
They sat near the front of the hall where all the professors were already seated and eating their breakfast. Draco looked up and saw Severus talking with Professor Quirrell. Severus looked over at Draco as if he could feel his eyes on him. Draco quickly looked away, not wanting to face up to the disappointment he caused. Why couldn’t I have just been a Slytherin.
"Draco do you want a blueberry scone?" Neville asked, holding one out for him to take.
Draco took the scone and said "Thanks" with a small smile on his face.
The three of them sat quietly while eating. None of them really knew what to say, but it was a comfortable silence.
Soon the hall started to fill with more and more students. Weasley, Potter, and the rest of their dorm mates sat right next to the three. Draco looked over at them and saw Potter looking at him and when he realized Draco saw he gave him a smile. That caught Draco off guard. He didn't know where he stood with Potter and that was confusing for him. Throughout the five years he knew Potter he always knew what he was to him. His enemy. A person who he would never be anything more with.
Now Draco was just confused. When they first met again Potter seemed to want to be friends. Then on the train after what Weasley said about him and his family, he seemed to want to stay away from him. And in the dorms last night and this morning he acted like he used to towards Draco. Like they were enemies once more. But why would Potter smile at him?
Draco decided not to dwell on it some much and began to eat once more. He finished his scone and put some sausage on his plate for him to eat for the rest of his meal. When he had finished, owls started to pour into the Great Hall carrying letters from loved ones and packages of things forgotten at home.
Draco was hoping that his father would send a reply to his letter and was happy when he saw Nyx fly in with the rest of the owls. What he failed to notice until Nyx dropped the letter in front him was the color of the envelope.
A red letter was dropped in front of him. He stared down at the letter and feared what was written inside. A nip at his hand from Nyx pulled him back, and he quickly gave his owl a treat before Nyx flew away.
He looked up at Neville and Granger. Granger was oblivious to the fact that this wasn’t a normal letter, but Neville wasn’t. Draco got a look of sympathy from Neville, and he knew that he needed to open it. He didn’t want to open in the Great Hall in front of everyone though, so he started to get up from the table. This was the moment that Weasley decided to speak up and draw attention to Draco.
"Draco is that a Howler? We've only been here one day and you’re already in trouble. You better open it soon." He said with a smirk on his face as he had clearly regained his confidence once Draco’s jinx had worn off.
Draco gave him an annoyed look and stared back down at the letter. He picked it up and slowly opened the seal, bracing himself for what was about to come.
“Draco Lucius Malfoy,” his father’s voice emerged from the howler while every other voice died down as their attention turned towards Draco, “I have never been more disappointed in my life. A Malfoy in Gryffindor? That is unacceptable. You have left your mother and I no choice but to question your position in this family. You are not welcome back into our home and are no longer worthy of the Malfoy name. Until you can prove that you are, don’t step a foot onto my property.”
All eyes were now on Draco as the letter ripped itself into shreds. He wanted more than anything to disappear at that moment. The whispers started soon after, and he decided he didn’t want to be everyone’s new source of gossip or at least he didn’t want it to happen right in front of him.
He got up from his seat and walked out of the hall. He kept his face stone cold and masked from emotion like it always used to be. As the Great Hall doors slammed shut, he could feel everyone’s eyes off of him. He didn’t know what to do next, so he just kept walking. He didn’t even think. He just went wherever his feet lead him.
At some point Draco ended up at the top of the astronomy tower. He looked over the edge of the railing, and he could see the grounds of the school below. It was peaceful with everyone inside. He thought that sense of peace would calm him, but it only made him think about what had just happened. His father had disowned him in front of the whole school.
This isn’t how my life is supposed to be, Draco thought, I’m supposed to be in Slytherin and have Pansy, Blaise, and Theo as my friends. Not a Gryffindor who is mates with Neville and Granger.
He didn’t know what he was going to do. He wasn’t welcome home and any other family he had was either in Azkaban or had already been disowned. He wouldn’t have anywhere to live once the Hogwarts’ term ended.
His breath started to quicken as his mind raced through possibilities. I can fix this. I can prove I am worthy enough to be a Malfoy, he tried to tell himself, but without fully believing it he started to pace around the tower. His thoughts became frantic, and he quickly fell into a panic attack.
He stopped pacing and held onto the railing for support as he tried to regain control of his breathing. He took long, deep breaths and pushed all other thoughts out of his head. Focusing solely on his breathing allowed him to not let his panic attack worsen and slowly come to an end.
He hated that this happened to him. It wasn’t often that it did, just when his anxiety was at its highest and he became frantic. He was scared when it did happen though. He had no control over his own body and just had to let it ride its course.
Draco looked down at his watch when he had finally calmed down and saw there was only ten minutes till he needed to be down in the dungeons for potions class. He quickly walked down the stairs and rushed towards the potions room. He knew that no matter how fast he walked he would never make it down there in time, so he decided to take one of his shortcuts.
He looked around the hallway he was in and walked over to one of the walls and pressed one of the bricks. The wall moved to reveal an opening that Draco walked through. This was a tunnel system that connected the whole school easily, but Draco was, to his knowledge, the only one who knew of them. It was one of secrets that had been passed down through the Malfoy family for generations. The tunnels all connected to a main circular room, and once Draco was there he looked for the tunnel that would lead him directly into the dungeons.
He continued to quickly walk until the tunnel led him into one of the alcoves near the potions room. He entered the classroom with all of his things with him and noticed that not many other students had made it to class yet. Both Slytherins and Gryffindors shared this class, and those who were already sat inside had segregated themselves from the other house.
Draco looked around for somewhere to sit. Neville and Granger hadn’t made it to this class yet. He started to walk over to an empty table when someone called his name.
"Draco over here." Blaise waved him over. "We saved you a seat."
Draco looked at them confused. "Why?" he asked.
Pansy laughed, "Just because we aren't in the same house doesn't mean we aren't friends anymore."
“You’ll just have to live with the embarrassment when we win the House Cup,” Theo teased.
“You really think you’re going to win this year?” Draco questioned, playing along with the banter.
“Slytherin’s won the past seven years. Nothing’s going to stop us,” Blaise confirmed.
“Well Slytherin doesn’t have Draco Malfoy on their team, so Gryffindor’s going to take home the win,” Draco said confidently.
“You wanna bet on it?” Theo pushed.
“Sure, let's say ten galleons?” Draco offered, remembering how his first year in the past ended.
“Deal,” Theo agreed and they shook hands, each with a smirk on their faces.
Draco sat down in the row in front of them and turned so he could continue to talk with them. Right then Granger, Neville, and another girl in Gryffindor that Draco didn't recognize walked in. The two girls walked over to a table and sat down. Neville looked around the room and saw Draco sitting with the Slytherins. Draco waved him over and pointed at the seat beside him. Neville walked over and sat down.
"Guys this is Neville Longbottom. He's my friend from the train." Draco introduced him.
"Hello Neville, I'm Blaise Zabani. Draco's best looking friend. It's a pleasure to meet you." Blaise said, smirking.
Pansy hit his arm and said "Sorry about him. I'm Pansy Parkinson and this is Theo Nott. We've been friends with Draco since we were little." Pansy said.
Neville smiled at them and said "It's nice to meet you too." He turned and looked at Draco and asked "Are you ok? You just left and I was worried about you."
Draco smiled and said "I'm fine. I just needed a moment to myself."
Pansy was about to speak up when the doors slammed open and all eyes turned towards Severus as he walked towards the front of the classroom.