Back at the Manor
Chapter 1
Draco Malfoy never thought this is where he would end up in life. Serving as a lapdog to the supposably great, dark wizard, Voldemort. His father would be proud, but what does his opinion matter anymore? He's locked up in Azkaban, rotting away all because he's at Voldemort's beck and call.
That wasn't going to work for Draco though. He wasn't going to throw his life away for some pureblood wanna be. He knew Voldemort's dirty little secret of being a half blood. The summer had been torturous with Death Eaters moving in left and right, so Draco mostly stayed in the two places where they never went. His room and the library.
In the hours he spent in the library every day, Draco came upon a pureblood family book, and eventually found the page with the Riddle's family tree. To his surprise, Tom Riddle's father was a muggle. Now, Draco had grown out of believing in pureblood supremacy, but he couldn't believe Voldemort had all these followers wrapped around his finger under the assumption that he was a pureblood. What a giant hypocrite he was, Draco thought. He went around killing muggles as if wasn't half muggle himself.
A knock on the door interrupted Draco's rant to himself. "Come in," Draco shouted from his bed, and his mother entered the room.
"The Dark Lord has requested your presence at the meeting tonight," Narcissa said softly as she walked closer towards Draco's bed.
He rose off the bed and stood beside his mother. "Do you have any idea why?" he asked. He had attended meetings before, but he was never requested personally by Voldemort.
"I don't know for sure, but there have been some rumors about the Dark Lord wanting someone on the inside of Hogwarts working for him."
"He already has Severus at Hogwarts though," Draco pointed out.
"I think he wants someone different to work on a special project."
"And he wants me to be that someone?" Draco questioned and was appalled. "I'm not sure," Narcissa said and then checked her watch for the time. "We need to head down now. The Dark Lord is waiting."
Draco rose from his bed and followed his mother down the stairs till they were facing the doors that would lead them into the meeting room. It used to be the Malfoy's formal dining room, but once Voldemort took over, not many diners were held anymore.
Before Draco or his mother could open either of the double, wooden doors, they both flew open. He stared into the room and watched as everyone's eyes turned towards him. He stood tall and put on a blank face like always. Then began to walk forward into the room with his mother right behind him.
"Draco, Narcissa, nice of you to join us," Voldemort said, "Come sit next to me."
Draco complied and passed all the Death Eaters in the room. The room was silent except for Draco's footsteps, and even with everyone watching his every move, he held his head high. This was his house no matter who lived in it and now wasn't the time for him to act like a coward and show his weaknesses.
Draco took his seat which was right next to Voldemort, who was at the head of the table, and right across from his godfather, Severus Snape. Voldemort then flicked his wand to make the doors close making the meeting private to only those who were inside.
Draco didn't let his gaze fall to his lap and looked straight at Voldemort as he spoke to him. "Draco as you know your father is still in Azkaban because he failed at what I expected him to accomplish which has now left a hole in my team. So I think I need someone to replace his position in the meantime," Voldemort said, then turned to the rest of the Death Eaters and asked, "Don't you all agree?"
The room became filled with voices of agreement as the Death Eaters spoke up. Draco wanted to roll his eyes with the way they blindly followed this man.
Voldemort then focused his attention back on Draco and said, "I think you will be perfect for the job I need filled."
"And what would that be?" Draco asked smoothly.
Voldemort leaned back in his chair and then answered, "I need you to kill Dumbledore."
Draco's stomach dropped when he heard those words, and if he hadn't been trained to keep up a mask and hide his emotions, it definitely would've showed on his face. "Why me?" Draco questioned.
"I need someone inside Hogwarts to complete this task, and you have yet to prove yourself."
"Shouldn't you have someone more capable complete this task and not a sixteen year old boy," Draco said, trying to get Voldemort to pick someone else, anyone else.
"I have found sixteen year old boys to be capable of much more than one death."
"He's just like his father," a Death Eater didn't Draco didn't recognize shouted. "A coward, unable to finish the job." More Death Eaters spoke out as they too agreed with what was just said.
"Silence!" Voldemort seized and then spoke steady and clear, "Draco, you need to prove your family's worth to make up for your father's mistake, and accepting and accomplishing this task will do that."
Draco knew this wasn't a question. This was an order, and if he didn't comply, his family would be in danger. "What happens if I accept?"
"You will receive the dark mark, and by the end of the school term, you will have found a way to kill Dumbledore."
” I will be marked tonight?" Draco asked and hoped his suspicion wasn't true.
"Yes, tonight." Voldemort responded sternly.
Before Draco could think of a response, Severus decided to speak. "My lord, might I make a suggestion?"
Voldemort nodded and replied, "Go ahead."
"The Hogwarts school term starts in less than a month, and suspicions about Death Eater formation are rising, especially with the Malfoy family. I think it would be best for Draco to wait to be marked until the day before he leaves for school, so if suspicions become too high there will be no proof until Draco is far from here."
Draco and Voldemort looked towards Severus and both tried to figure out what he was playing at. Severus' face remained blank though, so Voldemort answered.
"I trust your judgement Severus," Then Voldemort turned back to face Draco, "So Draco, do you accept?"
Draco knew the only way he could deny this request was if he died, which is the only reason he said, "Yes, I accept this task my lord."
A wicked grin grew on Voldemort's face. "Marvelous! Now, let's move this meeting along."
Draco stayed silent for the rest of the meeting unless he was addressed by name. He couldn't stand being in this room any longer, but he had to stay. This was his life now, just another one of Voldemort's followers.
The meeting drained on as Voldemort led the conversation about their plan for the future. As talk about killing muggles and banishing muggleborns died out, two Death Eaters apparated into the room with a person Draco had never seen before.
"Bring him over here," Voldemort ordered. The Death Eaters followed the order and pulled the man over to Voldemort, so he was standing right between Draco and him.
Draco studied the man closely. His facial hair was grown out and his face had a layer of dirt over it like he hadn't had a shower in a while. His clothes were also dirty and looked old as if he didn't have another pair to change into. It didn't take him long to realize that this man was poor and was most likely homeless as well.
When Draco looked back to the man's face, he realized how terrified he was. He was trembling under the grasp of the Death Eaters and looked completely lost and defeated. Draco couldn't help but take pity on the man, and wondered why Voldemort would bring him here.
"Draco, I thought I would show you what being a Death Eater truly means now that you are officially joining my ranks," Voldemort said and then turned to talk to the rest of the Death Eaters, "Yaxley and Rowle have been kind enough to bring this muggle to our presence. His filth represents what muggles and mudbloods are doing to our society, contaminating it."
Draco looked around the room and a lot of the Deaths had smirks on their faces as they stared at the man. He then looked across the table at his godfather, but his face was emotionless as it so commonly was these days.
It didn't take long for the torture to start. The man was thrown onto the table for everyone in the room to see. Curse after curse was thrown at him, and the laughter was just as loud as his screams. Draco didn't know how much worse it could become until the man was hit with the cruciatus curse. His screams grew loud and he begged for it to stop, but the only response he got was laughter.
Draco watched as he squirmed in discomfort and then looked back down to his face. It was full of pain, and he looked scared. It wasn't until the man made eye contact with him that something broke inside him. The man's eyes were a stormy blue. The kind that looked like the ocean right before everything went wrong, but they were warmer in the middle. Like the sun still shined through them even with everything bad in his life.
Draco wanted to break the contact, but he couldn't. This man didn't deserve this. He was just trying to survive. He didn't choose this life. The man then spoke again, but this time it was directly at Draco. "Please, stop this. I'll do anything you want," the man begged.
Draco didn't reply, but held eye contact until he was called after it.
"Draco, what do you think the fate of this disgrace to life should be?" Voldemort asked.
He wasn't oblivious to the fact that this was a test. This man was going to die no matter what he said. That was his fate. Voldemort was merely testing to see if could go through with having someone killed. The only thing Draco could do to make it better was to end his misery faster and no let the torture continue.
"Death, my lord," Draco said emotionlessly.
"Would you like to do the honor?" Voldemort asked and Draco's stomach dropped. He couldn't do it even if he tried because he had to mean it. He had to truly want this man dead, but he didn't. He only wanted his pain to stop.
At Draco's hesitation, Voldemort added, "You don't have too. I understand. Truly I do. The first time is always memorable. I'm sure someone else would be willing if you're not."
Draco knew saying no would end badly, but it would be worse if he said yes and couldn't go through with it. "No, my lord. I do not wish to do so. Someone can have the opportunity."
"Very well then," Voldemort replied and then asked, "Would anyone else like to do so?"
As countless Death Eaters volunteered for the job to prove their worth, Draco looked back to the man who was still staring straight at him. His eyes were different this time. All the hope had left them because the man realized he wasn't making it out alive.
The spell was casted and a green light illuminated the room, but Draco held eye contact with the man till he watched all the life drain from his eyes. The warmth that was once there was replaced with a coldness that sent a chill down Draco's spine.
The body was gotten rid of and the meeting was adjourned. As the Death Eaters left the room, Voldemort held Draco back and didn't speak till everyone else was gone.
"They're right, you know. You're just like your father. Can't even kill a filthy muggle," Voldemort said bitterly and then raised his wand, "Crucio!"
Pain erupted across Draco's body when the spell hit. He collapsed to the floor and squirmed trying to make it stop. Voldemort towered over him as he continued the torture, and Draco let out piercing screams.
"You are representing the Malfoy family now, and your fathers mistakes have gotten rid of any standing your name ever had in my standings," Voldemort taunted as he continued the spell.
A few minutes later Voldemort released him from the curse, and dismissed him from the room. Draco left quickly to his room and fell into his bed. His breathing was hard and was trying to keep it under control.
This wasn’t the first time he was hit with that painful curse, which was the only reason he didn’t break out in tears. The first time that curse hit him, his father sent him out of the room because he was embarrassed that his son was crying. Draco didn't blame him though. Malfoy's weren't supposed to cry, at least not when anyone was watching. It showed weakness and Malfoys weren't weak. Cowards maybe, but not weak. He promised himself that he would never let another tear because of the cruciatus curse because that would make the caster happier.
He just wanted to put this day behind him and move onto tomorrow, but every time he closed his eyes that muggle man filled his head. His screams replayed over and over, but the part that broke him was when he begged Draco directly to do something to stop the torture just like Draco had done when he was the one being tortured. He should have done something, but he knew that would've only gotten him killed alongside the man.
As the scene kept replaying in his head, it became harder for him to breathe. He clutched his chest when he felt his lungs start to feel tighter. His breath started to quicken, and he let tears well in his eyes.
Draco didn't know what to do. He couldn't breathe, and it only became harder with every breath. He began to take long, deep breaths which slowly started to help. Soon he regained control of his breathing again, and he felt relieved.
This had only happened a few times before, and Draco was beginning to get scared because it was becoming a reoccurring experience. He felt like he had no control in his life, and now he couldn't even control his own body.
The lack of control in his life was one of the reasons he turned to self harm. It was something that only he could control. No one or their opinions dictated the decision. He also felt he deserved to feel the pain it brought him. He kept making bad decisions, and his father wasn't here to punish him anymore.
Draco rolled down his sleeve to reveal his left forearm. He ran his fingers over the rough skin that was covered in dozens of scars. The cutting had started to become addicting, and he couldn't do anything wrong without getting the urge to harm himself. The feeling would become overbearing, and he would always end up giving into the urge to regain control.
This moment was no different, and the urge was as strong as ever. He leaned over to his nightstand and grabbed a metal tin from out of the drawer. The tin rattled as he opened it up. Inside were blades Draco had collected over the past couple of months.
He grabbed one and brought it against his skin. He dragged the blade across his wrist and sucked in a breath at the sudden sting. He repeated the action and told himself he deserved to feel this way for not saving that man tonight. He was the one who told Voldemort to kill him and watched as life drained from the helpless man's eyes. He was a coward.
When he was satisfied with what he had done, he put the blades back into the tin and placed it in the drawer. He then went through his nightly routine and cleaned and bandaged his cuts. He then changed into his pajamas and laid down in his bed.
Thoughts ran through Draco's mind, and he just kept coming back to the realization that he was a coward just like his father. Everyone else thought it, but now he finally believed it. He didn't want to be like his father though. He wanted to be better than him, which is how he found himself standing in front of Severus's bedroom in the Manor in the middle of the night.
He needed out of this life, and if anyone could make that happen, it was his godfather. He didn't even know if Sev was still here, or if he would even help Draco at all. He was loyal to Voldemort, but so was everyone else Draco knew. He was desperate, so risking his life for a better one was worth it.
Draco pushed down all the nerves he had and knocked softly on the door. It took a moment for something to shuffle in the room, but the door soon opened to reveal his confused looking godfather.
Severus quickly ushered Draco inside, and waited till the door was closed and a silencing charm was up to start questioning why his godson was visiting at this time of night.
"Why are you here?"
"I need help," Draco admitted.
"And what would you need my help with?"
"I don't want to be a Death Eater," Draco said and then quickly looked towards the floor, not wanting to watch Severus's reaction unfold.
It was silent for a moment till Severus replied by telling Draco to come sit with him on the bed. Draco followed the order, and once he was sat beside his godfather, he stared down at his hands.
"Draco look at me."
Draco looked up and was relieved to find that his godfather wasn't angry.
Severus then continued, "You don't want to be a Death Eater anymore?"
Draco shook head. "I never did. I just wanted to make my father proud, but after tonight I just can't. It was awful what they did to that man, and I just sat there while everyone else laughed like it was some big joke."
"I'm glad you came to me. I'm going to sort somethings out to get you out of here. It's probably going to happen fast. Maybe even tomorrow if I can make it work, so you're going to need to be prepared to leave at any time."
"Thank you," Draco said softly, and then he gave his godfather a hug. It took a second for Severus to embrace his godson back, but when he did, Draco felt safer than he had in a long time.
Draco drew away, and said "I should probably head back to my room."
"I'll be in touch soon," Severus said and before Draco left he added, "I'm proud of you Draco. Really proud."
Those words made every difficult moment that was about to come worth it. Draco left Severus's room and headed back to his own. When he was about to get into his bed though, he was surprised to find a necklace laying on it.
It wasn't just any necklace though. It was the necklace Severus gave to him on his eleventh birthday. He had lost it at the beginning of summer and spent a whole month looking for it. He quickly picked it up, but found a crack in the emerald that was on it. He didn't care though. It meant so much to him, and he was just happy to have it back.
He put it around his neck and then laid down in his bed. Tomorrow was going to be the start of his new life. A life that didn't revolve around being the perfect Malfoy child and didn't value blood status. A life where he wasn't a coward because for the first time in his life he made the right decision.