11
The morning light had filtered in, as much as it could in London at that time. It must have been almost seven, the traffic could already be heard moving slightly in the background. Bette moved slightly to her right, she felt an arm on her that slowly came down when she turned to look at the ceiling sighing slightly. She already knew her choice.
"Good morning.."
A voice reached her ear, not entirely unexpected, but expected. She let the silence envelop her for a few seconds and then answered "good morning..." turning to face it.
It was so difficult, tortuous, without space, Bette felt almost trapped. Yet the one next to her was the only person who had made her feel free. Tina understood instantly, remaining silent while their eyes had been talking for a few seconds already.
"Nothing will happen...." the blonde said in a flat tone trying to hide her disappointment.
"Yeah..."
More silence between them, they were so close and yet so far away at the same time. Maybe some of them would have wanted to reach out for the other, firmly, gently, and everything would have vanished, everything would have settled. The covers would have tangled and for half an hour or so that bed would have been a battlefield, the alarm clock would have stopped them if they had only really heard it. And then? Bette was thinking in her mind, and maybe Tina too.
They would have quenched their desire, their hunger, their passion, but the problems would have remained at the bottom, while the surface would have been full of fake slime.
"Let's not complicate things...ok?"
Bette asked softly, for fear of burning, of setting fire to something that was delicate, precious, precious to her. She didn't want to hurt her anymore, Bette wasn't capable of loving someone like that...maybe she wasn't capable of loving.
"I didn't want to complicate things..." Tina slid down, adjusting her sweater well on her shoulder, while she rubbed her forehead "we just needed some comfort."
That word hit Bette.
Comfort.
Was that all then? Had Tina felt sorry for her? Because her father had been an asshole, because his girlfriend had been a bitch who had betrayed her trust. God was that all then.
She bit her lip as she sat down too, watching Tina slide down and put her feet on the floor with a thud. She saw her walk towards the kitchen quickly and heard the coffee maker turn on. Bette decided that maybe it was the awkward moment to leave, the spell was over, for as long as it had lasted. So she cleared her throat as she appeared in the large white wood and marble cousin, looking at the two large steaming cups that Tina had placed on the table with the green lace tablecloth.
"Here, or you won't make it through the day..."
Tina said without turning around as she took two slices of toast and placed them on a small plate before turning and handing them to Bette who placed them next to the cups.
"Thanks, I was going to get something on the way home, I have to change..."
"or everyone will notice that you slept out." Tina added with a smirk.
"Let's not give the firm false hope..."
"Well I guess you're in no condition to start any more gossip."
Bette sighed, staring into her cup after taking a long sip.
"Everyone will think I'm an incompetent slut."
"they won't pay attention..."
"Tina..."
"Okay they will pay attention...but do you know for how long? Not much. Nothing. They talk however they want...they talked about me too."
Bette remained silent for a moment.
"So you see?"
"No they didn't talk about you, you're the boss's daughter."
Tina laughed as she munched on bread "Bette don't be a liar..."
"Well Tina, they didn't talk to me okay? They can't talk about you to me since I was the cause of your leaving years ago..."
Tina stared at her "well maybe not to you...but they must have laughed about my failed marriage..." Tina stood up and jumped off the stool "but it didn't last long...as soon as they find something better, they'll change..."
"Now I'm the best..." Bette said defeated
"Now yes." Tina giggled "Well I'm going to take a shower, it's late...see you at the office."
Bette swallowed "yes..." She stood up "well...well...Tina..."
"Bette don't ingratiate me and don't add anything ok? we're fine...neither of us wanted anything, we're adults and friends."
Friends. Friends.
Yeah right.
Bette looked away "ok..." she whispered.
"Bette finally...."
"I know Shane, I'm late but I'm here now ok?"
Shane rushed to bring her the coffee as he followed her down the long hallway. Bette's stride was really fast and long like a panther in the savannah.
"Noooo... here's what I wanted to tell you..."
Shane didn't finish, Bette threw open the door and Pippa Pascal jumped up from her leather chair. For a moment it felt like the Arctic Circle, it seemed colder in there than it was outside at zero degrees, the snow was sticking. Bette made a simple wave with her hand to Shane, quickly grabbing the Starbucks cup and so the door behind her was closed with a thud. The brunette walked quickly towards her chair, behind the desk, turning on her PC almost angrily.
"Why are you here?"
"Bette I..."
"Why are you here?"
Silence.
"I'm sorry..."
"I don't do small talk...you should know after almost a year of dating...because it was right?"
"Of course it was...and you know I loved you very much..."
"Um, it's obvious."
"Bette!"
"No Pippa stop! I'm exhausted...I've been excused from the case, you know how it goes, Benjamin is under par, Tina will have to shoulder all the paperwork and you and that clueless little shit Cameron...God...do you really think I know what I'm doing?"
"I'm not here to talk about work.."
"This is my law firm...then you're in the wrong place."
Pippa closed her eyes, she knew Bette, or at least she thought she did. She had always known who Bette Porter was, on a professional level, brilliant, top of the class, the spearhead of the Kennard firm. Bette was the best lawyer in London after Tom Kennard's career, Pippa knew it, that's why she had tried to get hired by the firm and failed, to then end up at the Continental. Even if all in all it wasn't bad there. On the personal side, Pippa had met Bette at the worst time, everyone was talking about the player in question. Bette could have any woman at her feet, nor did she conquer three, four a night if she wanted to. Everyone said that Bette Porter was the queen of seduction, but she was incapable of love, and Pippa really wanted to find out, even if she had heard small rumors about her love affair with Kennard's daughter. When they first started dating, Pippa had never dared to ask Bette about Tina, never, until the blonde had returned a few months earlier and Bette had changed, was far away, it wasn't just the Evans case that had turned them against each other, it was everything.
"I thought our relationship deserved more than just two words shouted over the phone..."
Bette giggled "wow, that's surprising you came up with that joke." The atmosphere became serious "like I already told you what you did professionally, it's fine...but on a personal level Pippa...I can't trust you anymore, you betrayed me. By chance, for work."
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry...I didn't realize Bette...I was angry that night, you had given up our weekly dinner to stay in the office, James offered to have dinner with me in the office and..."
"And you threw my stuff in his face!"
"It could be.. I was disappointed, you had been distant for weeks."
"I already answered you."
"Well that wasn't enough!"
Bette sighed, hands on hips, now standing she was shifting her weight from one foot to the other "Pippa I repeat that we have to stop..."
"and what happened between us?" Bette stared at her "it's just a defense Bette!!!"
"It's not the work that's the point. You're the one who doesn't understand. I don't trust you and I can't be with someone I don't trust...that's how it is."
After a few seconds of silence Pippa stood up from her chair, picking up her burgundy Fendi that matched her leather skirt. She stared at Bette, tears threatening to fall, Pippa was very taken with Bette, for Christmas she was thinking of taking a trip just the two of them, the first of many.
"Well...think about it ok...let's not let everything go to pieces..."
"It was you..." Bette whispered, hugging her chest.
"No...you gave up when she came back..."
"Mmmm...that's what you've been saying since day one. But you're wrong, Tina has nothing to do with it."
They looked at each other for a long time and then Bette let her arms hang down her sides "I'm sorry I..." she pointed to her PC and her work table.
"Yes you have to work...well...see you soon Bette."
Bette nodded silently watching Pippa disappear through the door, while she sank into the armchair with her face in her hands, her elbows on the desk.
It wasn't easy. She had really believed it too, after all the pain, she had managed to find a woman who was worth it, at least that's what she had believed. But her trust was now destroyed. Or maybe Bette simply wanted it to be that irretrievable.
But now she didn't care, she was out of the case, Tom was disappointed and pissed off and so was she. And then Tina. What the fuck would that night mean? Would they be able to do everything normally? Bette hoped so, more for her than for the blonde.
But things seemed to be going well enough, in fact Tina and Bette had quickly crossed paths in the cafeteria, Tina had already eaten while Bette still had to do it as usual. The blonde had been beaming, friendly, she had also told her that she had seen Pippa that morning and hoped they had resolved themselves. How strange.
But in the end Bette and Tina were pretty far apart for the rest of the week, the brunette deep in her paperwork to regain Tom's trust and Tina working with Benjamin Evans always under Bette's direction and help. She would knock Pippa and the Continental out, that much was certain. The two of them mostly sent each other emails or Alice and Shane carried messages to both of them.
"Do you think you can have a drink with us like we haven't had in a while?" Alice pulled her out of her thoughts.
"Sorry..." Bette took her martini and sipped some.
That evening Shane and Dana had decided to join her, they had been friends for a long time, Shane the dearest, but Dana and Alice also loved Bette and she loved them. They had all witnessed Bette's remains after the tornado that Tina had created by leaving and marrying a man from LA. Bette was open and honest with them.
"Pippa huh?"
Bette observed Alice "I made a mistake in my judgment."
"Well I liked her.." Dana said smiling "I thought she was the right one after...you know..."
The woman finished her speech under the strange looks of the other two, Bette chuckled sadly, she knew well what Dana meant.
"Well but you always start over in life, right?" Shane raised his glass with the cosmopolitan smiling.
"Bette will definitely get laid before us!"
"What the fuck!" Bette turned around, a mixture of annoyance and annoyance at knowing her dirty-mouthed friend so well.
"Come on B...we know you're going to hit the mark soon...in fact...look over there."
Alice and everyone looked towards the bar, a tall, thin redhead with green eyes sat alone, looking out towards the dance floor "don't you look stunning...Shane might get her in bed tonight...but so can you!"
Dana laughed, hugging Alice from behind "why are you always so keen on sex?"
"Because you like it too, my little one."
Bette smiled watching them, Dana and Alice had been so in love for years they were so beautiful together. But so were she and Tina.
"So B...do I go or you?" Shane asked chuckling with her masculine charm.
Bette looked at the girl, it had actually been a month since she had sex, things with Pippa had been complicated and they had drifted apart before the breakup.
Maybe she deserved some fun, why not? Or maybe she would have found something..but from whom? How old would that girl be? Maybe 25? 26? Bette shook her head.
"She probably just finished college."
"And you're not even 40 yet."
"So?"
"So your tongue is very young..."
"God, that's disgusting..."
Bette said this time without laughing. But Alice did, she laughed loudly, pushing Bette to get up.
"At least offer her a drink B, just that, it'll distract you!"
As Bette started to get up, Alice had now caught the attention of the redhead at the bar, a figure stopped in front of the table. Bette recognized the smell before anything else.
"Hey Kennard!" Alice called out as Bette looked at the blonde who was wearing a stunning black denim jumpsuit, sneakers and a fur coat. It was short at the waist.
"Good evening girls...Are we having fun?"
Tina asked, smiling at the amusement in Bette's face.
"Um..."
Tina observed the uncertainty and then glanced at the table, the glasses scattered everywhere.
"A drink to wind down the week." Bette managed with difficulty.
"Are you joining?" Shane asked, leaning in.
Tina smiled tucking a strand of hair behind her ear "Oh no I got take out Clair is having dinner at my place she's in the car."
Bette felt stabbed even though she had no right to.
"Clair Williams? From college?" Alice asked
"Yeah...do you remember her?"
"Goodness...she was the star of the school..."
Tina laughed "Well she's a doctor now...she works in Scotland but she's here for an internship and will be in London for 4 weeks...that's what she called me..."
"It's nice that you guys have stayed in touch..." Bette felt like saying looking at the blonde with confidence finally.
A second of silence before Tina said "yeah...we were close.." she just said a little taken aback "Well then I'll go..."
"Oh bring Bette too if you go to the counter please...she'll approach the breathtaking redhead!" Alice spoke as always and Bette cursed her giving her a furious look.
"Wow...red hair huh?" Tina winked
"it's nothing..."
"Go Bette, I'll cheer you up...." Tina walked forward.
Bette felt herself sinking, but she couldn't help but straighten her silk shirt as she walked and followed Tina.
"I hope you get lucky..." Tina said, pulling out her credit card now in proximity of the counter and the unknown redhead.
"That's Alice's bullshit, you know her...she needs to handle everything. I don't even want to."
"Oh yeah..."
"What?" Bette was flustered.
"Bette, you've always been a rebellious soul, you love women, you love to seduce them.. you won't make me believe..."
"Well I don't kiss a woman three days before and sleep in her bed and then fuck another one...at least not me..."
That was a little dig. Or more. Tina narrowed her eyes, understanding the moment.
She looked at Bette, not knowing what she had gotten out of her and Clair's dinner, but at that moment she didn't care, Bette had no claim even after the night at her house, even after comforting her. Tina hardened. She wasn't going to repeat the fact even though Bette wanted to be reassured, she could feel it.
"You can do whatever you want Bette...and so can I..."
Tina paid, turned around and took the take-out bag, and gave Bette a smile, who stood there like a poor idiot. She sighed, closing her eyes, she really felt so stupid, what had gone through her head?
She stood there with chaos around her and inside her.
"No Benjamin...it doesn't work like that...you have to trust that what happened personally between you and Bette won't affect it. They made a dirty move and they'll pay for it."
Tina was already on her second coffee of the day, it had been a busy weekend, Cleir and her had fixed the last part of the closet and now the blonde was complaining of back pain from carrying weights. Even if she wanted to convince herself otherwise, Tina knew that Bette's fake jealousy had made her nervous all weekend.
"I'm tired Tina...she's going to take my two daughters away from me...I can feel it, I'm about to have a nervous breakdown."
"It's not like that. Bette and I are working, we have your loyalty on our side and witnesses who will vouch for you being a fantastic father to them."
Benjamin ran his hands through his hair nervously, while Tina called Alice on the phone asking her to send Bette over who came in a few minutes later.
"Hey..." The brunette managed to say "problems?"
Bette remained professional when she was in front of the clients, there was nothing that made her waver or at least she was good at not showing it.
"I explained to Benjamin what we agreed, I know we will go to court, maybe in 15 days, but we will prevail, he needs to hear it from you too."
Tina looked at Bette sweetly, almost begging her to be lenient and confident with Benji who was in a panic.
"sure..." Bette whispered while remaining in contact with her beautiful green eyes, and then looked away "Benji...listen to me..." Bette bent down to be at his level "Gwen is done for...maybe your daughters will stay at her house to sleep over yes...but no one will take away your way of seeing them and spending time with them..you are a model father, faithful. You can allow them a lot. Without you she is lost...we will get joint custody 50 percent, it is so safe."
Benjamin looked at her, even Tina, Bette could convince anyone when she put her mind to it. This had always scared Tina, there had been a time when she had believed Bette and a time when she had been afraid to believe her.
This was Bette's super power.
"I trust you Bette..and Tina...I'm sorry...I'm just worried...I love my daughters more than anyone."
Benjamin was desperate, but for now they both had managed to calm him down.
"Go home...make yourself a lunch and then go pick up the girls from school ok? Everything is fine here..." Tina told him sweetly.
Benjamin gathered his things and left the room in an almost awkward silence. Bette was thinking about her old friend, if she hadn't gotten all hormones when they were only 17 Bette would have been ready to go to court by now without any problems.
"sorry to bother you...."
"um?" Bette stared at Tina, not fully understanding the words right away "oh yeah...no no there's no problem...it's partly my fault for this..."
"That's not true...he would have panicked anyway."
"yeah but things got complicated after Pippa spoke."
Tina leaned forward "Bette, he's scared...he's losing everything..it's understandable..."
Bette nodded, standing up to sit on the armchair "yeah but that's not going to happen...we have to win."
"We will.."
"Look I'm sorry about that joke yesterday Tina I don't really care who you have fun with..." Bette said with a mix of embarrassment.
"well you have fun too I see... actually how did it go with the redhead?"
Bette lied "normal."
She bluffed even though after Tina had left she had gone back to her table with Alice Shane and Dana and had ended the evening early without doing anything, without frills. Tina was scrutinizing her, she knew what game the brunette was playing, making her jealous. But it wouldn't work.
"And you and that Clair?"
"we worked." Tina answered letting everything and nothing be understood "the food was great, as always."
Bette felt her pulse quicken. In that moment she would have gladly gone back a week before, when she was under Tina's covers, cuddled up to that breathtaking blonde and instead out of fear she had stiffened, she had withdrawn, perhaps to face what they hadn't been able to face before. During their relationship. Maybe Bette was scared that Tina also loved men, that Tom, that many things, she had disappointed Tina in the past, hurt her and she would not do it again.
Now she could only watch Tina from afar, without demanding anything, even jealous of who the mysterious woman inside her house was. But she had no right, not after having loved her in silence for all those years.