1
The office was dimly lit, it was almost seven in the evening and it was usually empty.
She used to stay there for hours longer, she loved her job and was dedicated to it, almost always there was only work, it had been like that all her life, it had also been one of her main problems.
The computer had been staring at her for hours now, she should have finished right after lunch, gone home, taken a hot bath and drunk a good glass of wine, she was one of the best in there and yet she was still there at that hour.
She snorted, then understood the deception, there was the problem, she said to herself.
James had already entered the office several times that long afternoon to make sure everything was okay, to ask what time he should program the machine, obviously as long as she was there he would also be imprisoned. But on the other hand James loved his boss, he had been under her for years now and this made him enjoy a high prestige in the company, he had learned a lot from her, even from her rudeness.
She could be excruciating, but she was definitely number one in that field. Even though it wasn't clear when she was leaving the office, James tried to ask if she would like a meal for dinner.
"No James, I'll eat at my house, on a damn normal couch and not on this damn chair. I'm almost done."
She said almost annoyed by the young man's presence.
"Perfect boss...oh before I forget, I took those days off you gave me."
From under her glasses she looked up curiously, there would be company holidays, usually that time of year was pretty dead given the resumption of lawsuits, that's why she had decided to give James a few days to go visit his family, before all hell broke loose.
"Rest...I'll need you to be ready for anything. You know how things work here in the months leading up to December."
James smiled as he moved to close the door but before he did she spoke.
"Come on, let's go," she said closing her laptop and leaving it on the desk, "call the car...and you're free."
"Thanks Mrs. Porter."
When Bette arrived at her apartment in the black chauffeur-driven BMW she felt really tired, she had worked for more than ten hours, but it wasn't just that, it was more. Like every evening for a year now, she thought about what it would be like to come home after a long day of work and not feel alone.
To not be alone.
Even if a part of her cursed herself for having those thoughts, the other part understood that she had sacrificed too much, for work, for fame, for always being so Alpha and a control freak. Bette had never given so much importance to relationships....well or almost never.
She had started working for "Statements and Rights of the Law and Associates" after her internship in a small firm in South London found thanks to the help of her father Melvin, a man of power in the field of economics and finance, a path that Bette had avoided even though she was very gifted in financial statements and balance sheets. The mere thought of becoming like her father terrified her. That's why after the small job she had taken, she had won competition after competition, taking a second degree and then interviewing for large firms after being awarded several times among the youngest freelance lawyers in the country. By now the word had spread by the time she got there.
The interview had gone well right away and within just a year Bette was assigned the most important cases of the entire company, also arousing various jealousies but without foundation. Most of the cases handled by Bette did not even come to a clash in court, she nipped them in the bud, she was good at bargaining, at asking for agreements in her favor and on her side. In short, she was a born player and everyone knew it. There were rare cases in which she had to really fight, but for the most part Bette Porter was a winner. She handled lawsuits for billion-dollar companies, contracts for super expensive land, lawsuits between powerful people in the country, even politicians relied on her for their divorces, unless she admitted it, she hated handling divorces. She believed that divorce was stupid and expensive, with that money, you could buy a house in the Canary Islands, a private yacht, some Jimmy Choo, in short that money could be spent much better than on love.
Fuck love.
Even though it didn't seem like it, Bette had known him well, but she didn't care anymore, she knew he wouldn't try it again. That was okay. She made it look really easy.
She walked around her large apartment comfortably barefoot, she had finally disconnected her brain from work or at least she was trying, she had ordered some food that she would munch on in front of the TV until she was too tired and would slip into bed. That house was really huge, white marble and top quality parquet, windows overlooking the center of London, the National Gallery 300 meters away, she had already paid off that apartment three times thanks to her incentives and her monthly and annual salary. She was really lucky, or rather, she was for many.
The great truth is that Bette felt like a beast in court and a kitten in real life, a mole who didn't like to be seen for what she was, who in the evening dressed as a python and killed any prey she came across, without mercy. Maybe this had to change, or maybe not.
"This is Bette Porter, leave a message and I'll call you back..."
the answering machine had been set to automatic, Bette almost never answered the home phone and would turn it off if she was too tired. After the beep a recognizable voice spoke.
"Hey, I know you'll be home sipping your very expensive wine but well, Alice and I are downtown at Duglas getting a drink, come join us if you want. Kisses."
Bette smiled at the sound of her friend Shane's voice, then the sound ended and another beep appeared on the answering machine.
"Bette, it's James, here's Helena Peabody tried to call you, but she says you're unreachable, I didn't give her your home number, but Tom wants to see you tomorrow for lunch. You have a table at Marin, I've reserved the car. Goodnight."
Bette closed her eyes, lunch with Tom? Really? She grunted, it wasn't in her plans and she didn't like things to be improvised, but Tom was the superior, the law firm was his by name, he put up the biggest deposit and he had been a great criminal lawyer for years. Bette couldn't possibly back out.
Well since tomorrow was going to be a shitty day for her, she might as well get drunk and have a chat with her friends, maybe Shane would bring some new girl with him to make fun of, who knows.
Bette went to the bedroom wearing more casual jeans and a white blouse, beige loafers and was ready in her Max Mara coat.
She grabbed her Chanel and went out and hailed the first cab, she loved cabs even though she usually had a driver all to herself, but cabs made her feel like Sex and the City.
"No James, I told you not to cancel those damn appointments, I'll be back in action by three in the afternoon... a fucking lunch with the boss can't last that long..."
Bette angrily hung up the phone, grabbed a bottle of Pellegrino from the trunk of her car, Franklin driving as usual. She quickly rummaged through her bag and found an aspirin that she quickly threw into her mouth with some water, she had a crazy headache. The night before, she, Shane and Alice had stayed out very late, it used to happen often, but for some time now they had eased up on social evenings on work days, they mostly saw each other on weekends when everyone was free from work.
And then Alice worked in the same office, she was the secretary of Bette's boss, she had a degree from Harvard, but she had never been too ambitious for the job, in reality she would have liked to be a journalist, it was what she loved the most, in fact while she was employed in the office as a secretary she had many interviews all over the country, so much so that a local newspaper had hired her to publish some of her current affairs articles. That for Alice was a fair compromise, having small spaces in the local newspapers, but making a full salary thanks to her work as a secretary.
Typical of Alice.
She finally got to Marin's, it was one of those places Bette hated, she hated it with all her heart and she remembered why. That eight smelled of money in a way Bette couldn't stand, all the snobs showed up there and it was really unbearable to live with, plus the food was as old as the walls. She walked in casually like a million times giving the waiter her coat to put in the coat closet. Bette was wearing a tailored burgundy suit, with a matching shirt underneath in a slightly darker tone, she loved those suits, she had thousands of them, they made her lawyer and sexy. She adjusted her Rolex as she looked across the room to meet her lunch companion.
"Mr. Kennard is waiting for me."
Bette said to the boy who approached her gallantly and led her to the desired table.
As he approached the table, the man with the gray beard looked up, sensing her presence.
"Bette, finally... take a seat."
He motioned to the chair in front of him, rising slightly in a polite gesture, and Bette was helped by the waiter to sit down,
"it's a real pleasure."
"All mine, Tom..."
Bette said in a friendly and calm tone. She didn't know why she was really there, she had been working for Tom Kennard for years now, he trusted her and they had talked about important things many times, too many times really. Bette clenched her fists under the table at the thought. Many times Tom and Bette had spent hours in a room discussing some strategy, so Bette didn't understand the real reason for a lunch outside the study.
"If you want wine, you can order it, my liver is too bad for that, the doctor forbids it." Bette shook her head "no, I think water will be fine for me too..."
Bette adjusted her napkin on her lap, meeting Tom's gaze briefly, only to be blocked again by the waiter for their order. The first few minutes were of convivial conversation, Bette was actually hungry and given her headache she had preferred to eat healthily and enough, it would have done her good, but the doubt about that lunch was pressing on her head more than the pain itself. Finally it was Tom who broke all doubts and clarified the brunette's questions.
"You'll wonder why you're here..."
Bette placed the cutlery on the sides of the white porcelain plate, the conversation would change, she knew it.
"Yes, we haven't shared meals for a long time."
Tom nodded, wiping his lips with the napkin slowly.
"That's true..." the man stared at the crowd momentarily before returning to Bette "Bette you know how much I respect you...you're the best in the business or you wouldn't have been by my side for this long...and you wouldn't have the best cases."
Bette was starting to worry, this was a conversation that would go one of two ways, either a firing or a promotion, which in Bette's case would be to become a 50/50 partner with him, which was highly unlikely.
"You know how much my study means to me, it's the sacrifice of a lifetime... I love my work more than anything else, apart from one..."
The brunette stiffened, a terror crept into her, the terror of that name, it terrified her, but she waited, staring narrowly at Tom.
"Tina... she'll be coming back to town."
The man said the whole sentence in one breath, perhaps to hurt less or perhaps he didn't know, Bette had interpreted it that way. There was an odd silence, the clinking of the guests in the background, their voices, the champagne corks popping, Bette was trying to process it, it was difficult. She swallowed and then took the napkin from her lap to place it delicately on the table, next to the used cutlery, forcing herself to look at the man in front of her.
Tom understood the brunette's look, he knew too well.
"Oh...well that's great for you..." Bette forced herself to say "you'll be spending a few days with her."
"More than a few days"
Bette's eyes widened as she watched Tom calling the waiter back for a digestive. When the waiter walked away Tom's gaze returned to seriousness, while Bette was in limbo.
"Tina and Eric divorced six months ago. Obviously it's none of your business, but you know the story before and I don't feel like going through that book again, you know?"
"Well me neither..."
Bette said almost in a whisper in disbelief.
"Well...you know she's been very successful in her studio in Los Angeles, but now she needs to come back here...I could employ her in a studio of some friend of mine, but she doesn't want to, she wants to stay in our office, she feels at home, coming back there...for her it's like coming home...and I'm happy about that I don't deny it."
Bette elaborated and then absentmindedly put her crossed arms on the table
"what exactly are you asking me? That I should leave?"
Tom laughed sarcastically "no damn... unless you want me to, I would never lose someone like you, Bette.. and even talking to my daughter, she is against you giving up your job and me my best employee."
Bette bit her cheek on the inside, then Tina had already talked to him about them.
Tom sighed as he looked at Bette
"you can think about it Bette...but think carefully about what you will lose...my daughter will come and work on small cases initially, neither of you will compete...she will respect you and you will do the same, without close contact. She is my daughter and you are the best...don't make me choose. The past is the past."
Bette now smiled bitterly "sure, it's that easy for you, isn't it?"
"Not exactly. I saw my daughter destroyed...because of you."
"oh and now that it was your ward who destroyed her, do you want to bring her back to me?"
"not to you, to me!" Tom was authoritative in that answer "I repeat...don't make me choose between you and her..I would choose her".
Bette narrowed her eyes, she would have blasted him if she really could, but she just stayed silent, she cared about her job, she wouldn't give it up so easily.
"Well I don't have much choice...we're adults now aren't we? There's no 22 year old girl who gets lured and dominated by a 30 year old woman!"
Tom looked hard now "don't play with me Bette.. we know how it ended and how you two crashed! I was right from the start. Stay away from her...and no one gets hurt."
Bette smiled knowingly and confidently
"No one wants to come near Tom...too much water has passed under the bridge."
The afternoon was tiring for Bette, every paper, every word, every thought was clouded by a single name, that of Tina. This was something that Bette would never have expected, by now it was a closed chapter and filed away at the bottom of the ocean or at least that's what she thought.
She was wrong.
She still managed to finish the day and finally called the car before the previous evening ignoring any calls on her cell phone.
"Hey, I was calling you."
Alice appeared next to her on the sidewalk, the cold freezing her hands that she had wrapped in white gloves.
"I'm exhausted Al, the hangover from last night is still with me..."
Bette said without turning while waiting for her car
"do you want a ride?"
"no I called a taxi...I just wanted to ask you what you and Tom said today?"
"Nothing important."
"well to get out of the office it won't be a small thing."
"really Al, I don't want to talk about it...it's work ok? We don't talk about work."
Bette wrapped her coat around herself even more, avoiding the gaze of her friend who knew her all too well.
"She's involved, right?"
Bette turned around sharply, her gaze could have set Alice on fire right then and there like one of the fantastic four.
"Who's talking about this?"
"Helena..."
Bette snorted "whore".
Silence fell between them, Bette's car arrived "listen Bette, I know it's hard for you...for both of us! We've worked to get through everything...but you have to think about your job, Tina is the past ok?"
Bette looked at her, she was grateful to her friend "yeah, she's the past."
Bette sketched a smile to reassure the blonde and jumped in the car to go home.
At home that evening she turned on that relaxing music that always helps her in moments of stress, the house was flooded with positive energy that Bette couldn't really grasp. That same morning she would never have imagined receiving such news. Tina had divorced, her Tina, or rather... she used to be his.
Then she had been Eric's and they had married, Bette would have waited for the news of her pregnancy as one waits for news of a bereavement and instead, they had divorced, after only two years of marriage. It had been almost six years since Bette and Tina had met, the first months had been heartbreaking, like a dagger but then Bette preferred it, it was better not to see Tina anymore, her eyes, her lips, her sweet and slender hands.
In the end, between the two of them, it had gone as it was supposed to go, badly, as she had thought from the beginning. They had had a crazy, destructive love, Bette had never felt something for anyone else as she did for Tina, she had been her universe, even if Bette had perhaps not been good at making her understand it. Their story had ended without her even realizing it,Tina was a young woman, Bette was eight years older than her, already established and yet a young girl had stolen her heart while she was still in college, her boss's daughter.
Good heavens, what were you thinking, Bette? she said to herself several times in those years, the end was inevitable.
But this despite the objectivity had destroyed Bette, had made her wear an armor, had made her feel like a failure, inferior. Maybe she had not fought enough for Tina or maybe not at all, she had let her go with a broken heart and after three years, Tina had married a man without letting Bette know and had never returned to London, except for the funeral of her father's sister. Tom had visited Tina often, about ten times a year, to check that her business in LA was going well.
Tina had moved on, gotten married, forgotten Bette, maybe she didn't even care anymore, but because Bette still had that effect on her name.
Going to the bedroom Bette undressed, taking off her shirt and throwing it in the laundry basket, along with her pants. She felt shattered, this news had completely destroyed her, she looked at herself in the long mirror of the closet with her hands resting on her hips, a 37 year old woman, who had always sought strength and power, without ever dedicating herself to the sweet part hidden deep inside herself. That's why she had found herself in that situation, and now Tina was there to make it worse. How would she have welcomed her? How would they have behaved? The studio was big, yes.
But not that big.
Slowly she took her watch off her wrist and placed it on the jewelry box on her nightstand as always, as every night. Her eye fell right on the gold bracelet on the opposite wrist of the watch, thin, delicate, sealed. It was always bright, Bette looked at it often during the day, a part of her ached, but the other was still a sigh of relief. She left it there on her wrist as always, even when she slept, questioning whether she would sleep that night. Sighing heavily she collapsed on the bed, huffing and putting an elbow over her eyes to cover herself. There was no use hiding behind a finger, that tumble in her stomach was in vain for Bette.
Tina hated her, and would hate her forever.