Who are you?
Remus woke up to the sound of their front door opening. Someone thumbled loudly which made way too loud noise for Remus to appreciate seeing his current sleepy state and the time. Then a giggle went through the house, a giggle Remus would have recognised to be Sirius while sleeping. Sirius was quickly silenced with a sharp shush. Remus rolled on his back and listened the two of them whisper back and forth for a while before sitting up with a groan.
He glanced at the time. 2:36 the digital clock read and Remus pushed himself up from the bed. Remus made his way out of the bedroom. The floor felt way too cold under his bare feet as Remus leaned against the wall with his arms crossed over his bare chest. He watched how James tried his best to get Sirius to take his shoes off.
Sirius who was way too drunk and way past the stage where he could stand on his own.
“Sirius, help me out a little here, would you?” James hissed, but Sirius was way too busy leaning against the closet in their hallway to actually cooperate with him. James wasn’t exactly sober himself either. Remus could tell by the way his voice slurred a little.
Sirius opened his eyes and stood up straight. Or probably thought he did, but to Remus it looked more like he just leaned his head more against the door of the closet.
“James,” he said quietly and eyed Remus suspiciously. James looked up too from the floor and relief washed over his face as he saw Remus. But Remus didn’t look at him. Instead he looked back to Sirius who started to look more and more horrified as the seconds passed. He couldn’t read Sirius’ face. What was going on?
“James, whose house is this?”
And then a realisation washed over Remus. Sirius didn’t recognise him. Was that actually possible to happen? Was Sirius actually that drunk that he didn’t recognise Remus? This had to be some kind of game? There was no way this was actually happening.
“What do you mean, whose house? This is your apartment, your and Remus’ to be more specific.”
Sirius let out a disagreeing noise and shook his head.
“No, it’s not. James you can’t take me to some other dude! I have a boyfriend!” Sirius hissed, like Remus couldn’t hear him. And okay, maybe Remus was starting to find the situation a bit funny.
“That is literally him. Remus say something!”
“Hi, sweetheart,” Remus said softly, speaking for the first time and pushed himself to stand from against the wall. Sirius looked at him wide eyed before shaking his head.
“Um, no, I have a boyfriend. You can’t say that,” Sirius said and kept shaking his head. Remus smiled. He was actually too tired to start a scene over this whole thing. His mission was to get Sirius to bed to sleep his drunkenness off.
“Sirius, I got to go. The cab is waiting outside,” James said as he stood up and made his way towards the door. Sirius' mouth dropped open and he turned to look at James, swaying dangerously towards the other side. Remus quickly took the couple of steps separating the two of them and took a hold of Sirius’ waist.
“What are you doing?” Sirius asked and brushed Remus off. “James, are you actually leaving right now?”
James looked at Remus not knowing what to do. Remus nodded towards the door.
“Go, I’ll handle him,” James looked at Sirius and bit his lip before nodding his head.
“I’ll call you,” he said to Sirius and with that stepped out of the door. Sirius let out a yelp and turned towards Remus.
“Who are you?”
And somehow the first logical thing that came to Remus' mind was to play along. There clearly was no way Sirius was going to believe he was, in fact, the boyfriend he kept talking about. So he tried to look for the easiest way to get through this.
“Something came up, so Remus asked if I could help you once you got home,” Sirius eyed him suspiciously, clearly not believing him. “Does that sound okay?”
Sirius bit his lip, but eventually nodded his head. “Fine. But if you try anything I’ll tell Remus and he will beat your ass.”
Remus snorted, but nodded his head. He couldn’t wait to tell Sirius about this in the morning.
“Sounds about fair,” Remus said and took a hold of Sirius' elbow to walk him to their bedroom. He wasn’t sure how much Sirius would like him to touch him so he tried to keep his hands to himself as much as possible. As they got to the bedroom he put the big light on and Sirius immediately fell face first to the bed. Remus went to their closet to get some clothes for Sirius to sleep in. He turned back and took a hold of Sirius’ ankle gently.
“You got to change first,” he told Sirius, knowing he would just be mad at Remus in the morning if he let him sleep in the clothes he had been in the bar with. Sirius let out a groan and turned on his back. He eyed Remus.
“How do you know Remus?”
Remus pursed his lips. He thought for an answer Sirius would buy and that way would trust him more.
“Oh me and Remus go way back. We’ve known each other since birth,” he said, trying not to laugh at himself. Sirius raised his eyebrows.
“Really?”
“Mhmm,” Remus hummed.
“So maybe Remus wouldn’t be mad if you helped me,” Sirius thought aloud and smiled sheepishly. “I’m a bit drunk.”
Remus raised his eyebrows. “Oh I’m sure he would understand,” with that he took Sirius’ hands and pulled him to a sitting position. Sirius nodded his head and raised his arms up. Remus took a hold of the hem of his tight shirt and pulled the fabric over his head before slipping his own shirt over his head. It was Sirius's favourite shirt to sleep on. The other man claimed that it was comfortably big and soft from being worn so many times.
“So are you and Remus like related? It’s weird, ‘cause I haven’t met you before.”
Remus crouched down and took his socks off next before standing up again.
“Yeah we are basically brothers. Can you stand up for me sweethe- uh Sirius?”
Sirius stood up too quickly for his own good and pumped his head against Remus’ chest and took a hold of his upper arms to steady himself.
“Oops, sorry,” he said, but then squeezed Remus’ biceps his hands were holding on to. “Oh, nice,” then his eyes widened and he looked up to Remus. “Don’t tell him I did that.”
Remus laughed and lifted the hem of his shirt enough to open Sirius’ jeans next. “I won’t.”
“You know, Remus is really sweet,” Sirius said and lifted his other leg from the floor as Remus pulled the other leg of the jeans off before moving to the other. “He’s actually the sweetest. He always takes care of me and he has this thing when his nose crunches a little when I do something dumb. It’s actually really funny. He just tries to act all tough, but in reality he is like a teddy bear. A big warm teddy bear,” then Sirius suddenly frowned just as Remus pulled the pyjama bottoms up to his hips.
“Do you know when he’s coming back?” Sirius asked worriedly and looked up to him. Remus didn’t know why he suddenly felt really bad for Sirius, even though he was literally standing in front of him.
“He usually takes care of me when I’m drunk and I would really like to cuddle,” then Sirius let out a sigh.” I miss him.”
Remus smiled at the other man and took a hold of his hand to walk him after himself to the bathroom. Sirius sat down automatically on the counter and leaned against the mirror.
“He promised he’d be back when you go to sleep,” Remus reassured as he went to look for the makeup remover Sirius kept on the cupboard under the sink. He read the label of the one bottle and liked to believe he had the right one. He put some of it to a cotton pad and settled himself between Sirius’ open legs. He gently took a hold of Sirius’ chin and swiped the pad over his closed eyelids. Sirius wasn’t wearing much makeup for both of their luck, but Remus still made sure to clean his whole face.
“Don’t forget the moisturiser,” Sirius reminded him after Remus threw the cotton pad away. Remus eyed the different bottles on the counter before taking the one he remembered Sirius always used before going to sleep.
“Oh how could I,” he said as he took a small amount of it to his finger and spread it on Sirius’ face.
“You’re surprisingly good at this,” Sirius mumbled with his eyes closed as Remus’ rubbed his forehead and cheeks. “Do you have a girlfriend or something?”
“Boyfriend,” Remus said as he put the bottle back to the counter, moving on to get the toothbrush next. Sirius eyed him before letting out an agreeing hum.
“Yeah? What’s he like?”
Remus smiled to himself as he passed the toothbrush to Sirius who started lazily brushing his teeth.
“He’s lovely. Bit of a drama queen from time to time, but that’s why I love him.”
Sirius opened his eyes. “Being dramatic just adds to the character,” he said and some of the toothbase got to his chin.
“Funny, that’s what he says too,” Remus said and watched as Sirius let the toothbrush hang from his mouth. “Okay, I think you’re done.”
Sirius handed the toothbrush to him and turned to spit on the sink. Remus quickly swiped the toothbase from his chin and around his mouth before Sirius could tell him off.
“Okay, time to pee,” he told Sirius and couldn’t help but think that it seemed like he was talking to a toddler. He helped Sirius off of the counter and to the toilet and was just about to help Sirius with his pyjamas when the other man yelped.
“Uh, turn away, I don’t want you to see my private parts” Sirius said, like Remus hadn’t seen every inch of his body before, and raised his eyebrows challengingly. Remus rolled his eyes, but turned around to let Sirius have his privacy.
“Wash your hands when you’re done,” Remus instructed as he walked out of the bathroom to fetch some painkillers and water for Sirius. Remus was pretty sure he would need those in the morning. By the time Remus got back Sirius had made his way back to the bedroom. He was already laying under the covers and Remus could hear him snoring gently. Sirius didn’t usually snore, only when he was sick, or like in this case, drunk.
Remus put the painkillers and the biggest glass he had been able to find filled with water to Sirius’ nightside table and settled under the covers too.
“Remus?” Sirius mumbled quietly and turned to face Remus who smiled gently.
“Hi, sweetheart,” he said as he wrapped a secure arm around Sirius’ waist as he pressed himself to Remus’ side.
“Did your friend leave already?” Sirius asked sleepily.
“Yeah, he told me you are a bit drunk,” Remus said, playing along with the story he had made up.
“Oh, yeah, sorry.”
“It’s okay,” Remus reassured and pressed a kiss to Sirius’ temple. “Did you have fun tonight?”
“Mhm,” Sirius hummed, clearly falling asleep. Remus pressed another kiss to his hair. He didn’t feel that tired anymore after getting up. But as he heard Sirius’ breathing even out Remus closed his eyes and drifted to sleep, not long after his boyfriend.