finals
Spring finals were hitting everyone particularly hard, especially Remus who took his studies very seriously.
He was sitting on the small sofa in his studio flat trying his best to study and do all of his work that had regrettably piled up more than he would have liked.
Sirius had come over to keep him company, though he ended up practically being a ghost as Remus slaved away over his work, so Sirius found himself in the kitchen area making them both a cuppa. He looked over at his poor, stressed boyfriend. Remus was balancing a book on one knee, notebook on the other, a laptop perched on the pillow to the side of him, and a ballpoint pen in between his teeth as he scribbled away on the paper with a pencil. Remus really was a professional at multitasking, it was however getting more and more difficult to work as precisely as he wished to because his knee was starting to bounce and his hands were starting to shake.
Sirius was now pouring their tea into two mugs as he watched Remus become more and more stressed.
He suddenly had a brilliant idea, an idea to bring some fun into the dismal flat and a smile that was sure to be precious and adorable to Remus’ face.
He walked over to a bookshelf that held a small bluetooth speaker. Sirius connected his phone and, of course, turned on his “Remus John Lupin <3” playlist as loud as he could. Suddenly the song ‘Wild Thing’ started pouring out of the speaker.
Remus looked up at Sirius, annoyed, just to find him biting his lip and dramatically playing an air guitar, “Sirius, please, I’m trying to study.”
Sirius ignored his plea and began to sing the lyrics, “Wild thing! You make my heart sing!”
“Sirius.” Remus said less strict and fighting a smile.
“You make everything!”
Remus let out a laugh as Sirius continued the song.
Sirius pulled a wooden spoon out of his back pocket that he had put there when he had decided on his plan and began singing into it as he seductively walked up to Remus. He kneeled in front of him and gazed directly into his beautiful eyes, “Wild thing, I think I love you.” They shared a small smile before Sirius threw his head back to practically scream the next line, “BUT I WANNA KNOW FOR SURE!” Remus let out a hearty laugh and Sirius slid all of his homework to the side and lifted Remus to his feet, pulling him into his chest, “Come on, hold me tight.” They placed their foreheads together, “I Love You.”
As if it was the most natural thing, a reflex, when the instrumental break began playing they both stepped apart to dance to the song, Sirius continuing as the guitar and Remus joining in with the air drums.
Eventually they made their way back into the kitchen area, Remus now with a wooden spoon as well, as they serenaded each other with lyrics and danced around in the dim light together, twirling underneath each other's arms and stealing chaste kisses during the chorus. Tea, homework, and stress long forgotten as Sirius took Remus into his arms and dipped him, kissing him passionately on the way back up.
Spring finals were upon them once again. Remus, just as stressed as he was the year previous.
He found himself in a similar position as well. Squashed in the corner of his small sofa, surrounded by work. His neck was starting to cramp and his lower back wasn’t feeling all that great either.
Henry walked up from behind and leaned over the back of the couch to give Remus a quick kiss to his hair.
“How are you feeling, love?”
Henry had come over to Remus’ place late the night before after he had been out, so it was no surprise that he had slept in.
“I’m just a little stressed is all.”
Henry walked into the kitchen and didn’t say anything for a minute, making Remus wonder if he had actually said that out loud or if he had just been thinking it, but then there was the sound of Henry clearing his throat and he finally spoke, “You have nothing to worry or be stressed about. You’re the smartest person I know, you’ll do fantastically.”
“Thanks.”
Henry walked back into the living space then, carrying a mug full of tea. He slowed when he walked past Remus just enough to give him a sweet kiss on his forehead, “Of course.”
He moved over to the small loveseat in the corner of the room as he sipped his tea lightly and played on his phone.
Remus looked at him, then seemed to zone out into space for a second, just for a second before he snapped back into reality and went back to his work as his leg began to shake.
Sirius and Alex are both laying on Sirius’ bed revising for finals and doing work that they had put off for far too long.
Sirius looked over at Alex who was laying at the bottom of his bed, reading some book about renaissance art, a look on his face that is somewhere between interested and annoyed.
“Hey. How are you?”
Alex laughs without turning away from his reading, “How am I?”
Sirius shrugs, with a caring look on his face, “Yeah. How are you? Are you feeling stressed? Is there something I can do to make you feel better?”
Alex slides his thumb into the book to keep his place and he places it against his chest to look at Sirius with a smirk, “Wanna make me feel better do ya? I’m a bit sore from my yoga class yesterday so I don’t know if I’ll be able to put you in any fancy positions but I’ll do my best.” An evil smile grew across his lips as the sarcasm rolled off of his tongue.
Sirius reached behind his back to grab the pile he had been leaning against to throw it at Alex, nailing him right in the face as they both laughed. “Could you not be dirty for two bloody seconds! I’m trying to be a good mate and make sure you’re not feeling overly stressed!”
Alex gave him a kind smile, one without any dirty innuendo or mischievous shadow, “I’m alright, Sirius. Don’t worry your pretty little head about me, you’ll get wrinkles.”
“A shame that would be.”
“A horrible shame.”
They both turned back to their studies, Sirius looking down at his hands for a second deep in thought before snapping out of it and deciding to actually be productive.
That night, Lily suggested that the gang should all go out for a nice dinner as a way to de-stress a little and bring some joy to finals week.
Everyone was able to make it, except for Alex, who had plans with a guy he had met on a dating app for later that night and preferred to stay in and get ready rather than go out. As much as Sirius loved having Alex as his plus one, a part of him was grateful to be there with just his group and Henry because he knew that this would be the perfect opportunity to fix all of the messes he had made in the past couple of months. He knew he had a lot of apologies in order and was fully ready to give them out to those who deserved them.
Sirius, for once, wasn’t the last to arrive; in fact, he made it to the restaurant before Remus and Henry. The rest of the group sat patiently waiting for them at their reserved table, chatting and taking turns ranting about their ridiculous finals and annoying professors who didn’t give shit and weren’t afraid to show it, when the couple showed up. They walked slowly towards the table, giving Sirius time to pull himself together and mentally go over the speech he was about to give.
He slid off of his seat and met the two halfway. Remus looked strange, almost nostalgic with a hint of hesitancy, Henry on the other hand, physically took a step back looking absolutely terrified of Sirius and what he was about to say.
Sirius held his hands up in surrender, “I’m not going to bite. In fact, I wanted to apologize.” Remus’ eyes widened in surprise and stood up straighter, interested in what he was about to say, “I was extremely immature when we met before. I let my emotions and my jealousy get in the way when they shouldn't have. I said some very out of line things and treated you both poorly. I’m sorry, I have no ill feelings towards either of you and I hope we can all be friends and move past this.”
Remus did make a move. He had already known all of this and had already forgiven Sirius, but hearing him say it out loud was something that meant so much to him. He turned to look at Henry, he wouldn't force him to accept the apology, he could do whatever he wanted.
Henry seemed to hesitate just for a moment before giving Sirius a handsome smile and taking Sirius’ hand in his to give it a nice, hard shake, “No problem, mate. I really appreciate the apology. No harsh feelings for you either.”
Seeing Henry accept his apology, Remus smiled at both of them and nodded at Sirius, a silent ‘thank you’ and ‘you're forgiven’. All three of them walked back to the table together.
Despite fixing the broken pieces with Remus and Henry and convincing himself that everything was in the past, Sirius couldn’t help but watch the couple throughout the night.
The longer we watched, it all seemed to get stranger and stranger to him.
He thought back to the party where he had met Henry for the first time and although the events of that night had become slightly blurry, he still couldn't stop himself from noticing the difference. Remus and Henry had been so coupley. They had been hugging and giving each other soft kisses throughout the night and always sending the other longing stares. Now, it seemed so one-sided. Remus would place his hand on Henry’s thigh and it would stay there for just a few minutes before Henry would shift in his seat and it would fall away. Remus would give him a kiss on the cheek or hand and Henry would just give him a brief smile before taking a sip of his drink. And Henry hardly even looked at Remus, despite Remus smiling lovingly at him most of the night. In fact, Sirius thought to himself that if he hadn't known the couple and had just seen them out in public, he wouldn't have seen them as a couple at all. Rather, he would have thought that Remus was desperately pining for someone who didn't seem sure of his feelings, that is very much what they looked like.
Sirius figured that the difference could just be that they had still been in their honeymoon phase at the party and now they were just a normal couple, or maybe Henry was just having a bad day and Remus was trying to cheer him up. Despite this thinking, Sirius couldn't quite shake the off feeling he got; especially when Henry had gotten up and thanked the group for the lovely night but said that he really had to head home because he had a busy day lined up for the morning and was in need of a good night's sleep, to which Remus had given him an odd look, almost as if he hadn't remembered Henry saying anything about plans the following day.
But they all said goodbye to him with cheers and Sirius had even joined James in giving him a small hug. Even though Sirius had an uneasy feeling, he would not say anything, because things were fixed and he wasn't going to break anything again.
Towards the end of the night, the group had moved outside so that they weren't taking up a table any longer.
Sirius, had found himself leaned up against a cement wall with Remus as they both stood there smoking silently.
“Thank you, for tonight.”
Sirius looked over at Remus, who wasn't looking at him but rather out at the street and the passing cars.
“I told Henry that you were sorry after pub night, so you didn't really have to apologize, but thank you anyways.”
“It felt like something that should have been done in person anyways.”
“Shit. You're right. Looks like I need to apologize to Alex in person then.” Remus said with a laugh.
Sirius laughed too, just for a moment, before turning away from Remus and leaning his head against the wall behind him. He stayed there silently for a moment, thinking about what he wanted to say next as he puffed on his cigarette. “It was an apology to you too, you know. I said some really awful, shit to you and I couldn't not apologize for it.”
Remus looked over at Sirius then. He noticed the way the moon seemed to reflect on the shine of his perfect, silky hair and the way his long graceful fingers held the cigarette. He always liked Sirius’ hands, they were the type of hands you would see on a famous pianist or some type of model in a magazine, which Sirius was neither…though he could probably model if he wanted to.
“Thank you.”
Sirius looked back at him, and their eyes met with a level of sincerity that was palpable.
“It really does mean a lot, Sirius. Thank you, again”
Sirius nodded in response and they held eye contact for just a moment longer before Remus looked away and took a long drag of his smoke.
Sirius watched the way his lips enclosed around the stick, and the memory of feeling those lips flooded his mind. They way his lips felt against his own, against his chin and neck and chest. The way they felt when he would crack a dirty smile in the middle of a kiss or on the inside of his wrist when Sirius was upset. Remus’ lips never failed to amaze Sirius. How such perfect lips could exist, and on a living breathing person nonetheless, was something truly fascinating to him. And that fact that he was once able to kiss such perfect lips...was the highest honor he could have ever wanted.
“What are your plans for this summer?” Sirius asked in desperate need to move his thoughts away from where they currently lingered. “Are you heading back home?”
“Mum’s birthday is during Summer holiday, so I'll be back with them for that bit, but besides that…I’ll be staying here it seems. What about you? Going back to the Potter’s?”
“I’m not sure yet. I mean, I don't necessarily have to go or stay, free to do anything I please really, but James and Lily are going on some sort of couples trip sometime during break, and well I don't know how much I fancy being alone in the flat without him but, we’ll see what happens.”
“We can always hang out. You know, if either of us are feeling extra lonely.”
Sirius smiled up at him, “As friends of course,” a small smirk tugging at the corner of his lips.
Remus rolled his eyes as he smiled a big, full smile, “Friends.”