pleasantly surprised
It was two days after the breakup. Despite having classes, Sirius hadn’t gone anywhere in those two days.
Right now though, he was heavily regretting not going somewhere else because James was looking at him like he was some fragile little puppy and if he heard the words “Are you okay?” one more time he was either going to burst out into another fit of tears or light the flat on fire.
“Are you okay, Mate?”
Son of a bitch.
“I broke up with the love of my life two days ago and this is the first time I've left my bed in those two days, so yes, James…I’m doing fantastic.” Sirius glared at him from the opposite side of the couch making his voice as monotone and sarcastic as possible while trying to hold down all of his emotions.
“Can I ask you something?”
Sirius mutely nodded.
“Why’d you do it?”
Sirius let out a painful groan and buried his head in his hands, “I don’t know, I just-” he rubbed violently at his eyes, “everything was just a fight and a challenge. We both knew it but…but Remus just had more fight in him I suppose.”
“I hate to sound selfish because I know you're going through it right now but, what are you going to do about the group?”
Sirius fell back against the couch. He hadn't really wanted to think about it. The friend group that is. Remus and himself had the same friends who all hung out together. He had no clue what he was going to do when they would all plan to meet up. He didn't want anyone to miss out…but he wasn't necessarily ready to just start hanging out with Remus again.
A week after the breakup they decided it was time. They sent brief messages to each other to set it all up and now Remus was on his way over to give Sirius his things back and to get his own in return.
It's awkward the moment Sirius opens the door.
“Hey.”
“Hi.”
They avoid eye contact and walk silently to Sirius’ room to do the exchange. Remus held back tears. The last time he was in this room Sirius was ending their relationship, and he doubted he would ever be back in that room under happy circumstances ever again.
As Sirius rummaged around, stalling unbeknownst to the other broken hearted boy, Remus stared down at the box in his hands; Sirius’ neatly folded t-shirts, records, rings, pajama bottoms, wanting to hold on to them forever and never let go…to never let Sirius go…
“Okay, I think that’s everything.” Sirius held out a box filled to the brim of Remus’ things, “If I find anything else I can have Lily bring it over to you.”
Remus nodded mutely and set the box of Sirius’ stuff down on the bed next to him.
Sirius looked at Remus who was staring down at the carpeted floor. He hated how sad he looked. His beautiful boy should never be sad, especially not on account of someone as pathetic as himself. “Rey-”
“You don’t have to say anything.”
“No, I do.”
Remus looked up at him then, hopeful that maybe Sirius would take it all back and push him back on the bed and kiss him senseless until he forgot about all the tears he had shed in the last week.
“I'm sorry I blindsided you with the breakup, I never intended for us to end like that.”
Remus looked back to the floor suddenly bitter, “How did you intend for us to break up then?”
“That came out wrong I didn’t mean-”
“Were you originally going to do it a month ago? Maybe on our one year? Certainly couldn't have been in between that time and now because that would have ruined your birthday right? Maybe you could have waited until Christmas? I think that might have hurt quite a bit…though I guess there is some type of strategy in breaking up with me right before finals. That's it isn't it? You want me to be so miserable during finals that I fail all of my classes and it stings just a bit more? Brilliant one you are.” Remus grabbed his box from Sirius’ hands and made a move for the door but Sirius grabbed him by the arm to stop him.
“A strategy? You think that lowly of me huh? I meant to say I never originally had a plan of breaking up with you.” Sirius cringed at the words leaving his mouth, he hadn't meant that one that way either.
“Originally? Things change though huh?” Remus yanked his arm from Sirius’ grasp and stormed out.
“This better be worth it, James.”
“It will be.”
“You see, every time you say something is worth it, it hardly is. How do I know this time it actually is?”
“Because she’s worth it.”
James was dragging Sirius to some random pub to do something that had to do with meeting Lily’s friends or impressing Lily, just something that most certainly had to do with Lily and Sirius wasn't planning on going but he was a bloody good mate and would do anything James asked (especially when he did his doe eyes).
They walked through the pub, James’ eyes immediately scanning the area for his new girlfriend, and Sirius didn't need to be told when he had seen her cause his face immediately lit up with bright eyes and a big dorky grin.
Sirius watched as Lily walked towards them and James straightened his jacket as he spoke to him. “Alright so we are here to meet Lily’s best friend and I'm falling in love with this girl so you have to be nice.”
“I'll be nice unless he’s a prat.”
“Sirius.” James’ tone was warning and he sounded alarmingly like his mum.
“Fine, I'll be nice.” He folded his arms across his chest and pouted like a toddler not getting his way as his eyes drifted over to the bar, he could really use a drink right now, “He at least be bloody attractive.” He said it as a joke but James just chuckled and nudged him with his shoulder.
“I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised.”
Sirius looked back at him with questioning eyes as he walked the now short distance to Lily, giving her a hug and a kiss on the cheek. And when they shifted their weight slightly, he saw the boy standing behind them.
Sirius’ eyebrows shot up and his eyes widened. He had never seen anyone like him before in his life. He didn't have the looks of a greek god or a movie star or anything like that…in fact he looked like an average boy attending University, but there was something so different, so compelling about him that Sirius couldn't help but be curious.
He unfolded his arms and walked to James and Lily.
Lily gave him a quick hug, “Sirius hey! It's so nice to see you again. This is my best friend, Remus.”
Lily pulled the boy from behind her and into Sirius’ space. He had the type of look that you would make you expect him to be shy, but as he held out his hand towards Sirius, he proved to be dripping with confidence, and suddenly Sirius was dripping with nerves.
“Remus Lupin, nice to meet you.”
Sirius took a hold of his outstretched hand and shook it, “Sirius Black.”
Remus gave him a soft-closed lip smile, but his eyes burned with some sort of intensity he couldn't make out.
James and Lily glanced at each other with small smirks.
Sirius let go of the other boy’s hand and looked around the pub, “So uh- are we going to go find a seat or just stand here in the middle of the pub like a bunch of wankers?”
“Yes! We have one saved back here.” Lily said as she laced her fingers with James and led the small group back to their table.
Remus turned to follow her and Sirius made sure to fall into step with him. Remus looked over at Sirius and gave him another one of the tight lipped, sexy eyed smiles before stepping just a fraction closer to him as he walked.
Sirius knew right then, this boy was about to make a big difference in his plans from now on.
Sirius was still in his small room pacing, just like he had been from the moment Remus had stormed out.
He had been trying to apologize, trying to make it better, and he had fucked it up even more.
He didn't want Remus to hate him. In fact, Sirius could think of 1000 things in this world that would suck more than anything, starting with life imprisonment and ending with ruining brand new leather, but the idea of someone as peaceful and beautiful as Remus Lupin hating him topped the list and made all the others look pathetic.
He grabbed him phone, hoping Remus wasn't pissed enough to have blocked him
Remus
please dont hate me
im sorry i swear i didnt mean it like that
i dont want things to end like this
im so so sorry, rey
i dont hate you
im sorry too…i shouldnt have stormed out like that. i know you would never mean it like that
friends?
always :)