Chapter 3
“So… Your best friend?”
“Yeah”
She picked at one of her legs, both feet drawn in and refusing to make eye contact.
“I thought I was your best friend”
“Well- I mean you were - or are… it's different with you, you’re my sister.”
“Right”
“Don't you have a best friend at school?”
She shrugged, “I guess so”
“Well there! It's not so different? It doesn't change anything!”
“The only reason i came home this summer was because i thought you were lonely”
“What do you mean?”
She looked up at me, a dead look on her face.
“Alice wanted me to stay with her , but I didn't want to leave you on your own. If you had told me about James , i could have gone to her house and had a really fun summer! Instead i'm stuck in bloody Cornwall with my little brother who doesnt even care.”
“I do care!”
“Clearly not enough!”
“What are you talking about?!”
She stood up, walking out my room. “Pandora! PANDORA!”
I jumped off my bed, racing behind her as she stormed to her room, closing the door in my face.
“Pandora please , i don't know what you’re talking about… Why don't we hang out tomorrow? Just the two of us? If it makes you feel better? We can go to the beach!”
I heard shuffling inside, and she opened the door.
“Beach?”
“Mhm!”
She stared past me for a second, before returning her gaze to me.
“Just the two of us? Promise?”
“Promise.”
A mouth tugged into a smile. A twinkle in an eye. My Pandora.
“Ok then, i’ll meet you downstairs tomorrow at 8am”
Then she closed the door.
When I think about how Pandora used to act now, I wonder whether she really cared about me as a person, rather seeing me as simply an object of her ego. She was the only thing I cared about, so when a new best friend arrived, she felt threatened. Of course, instead of trying to win me back as one might think a sister would do she used the quicker route, manipulation.
I never realised of course, as naive a child as a 10 year old could be, i fell right into the arms of her wicked web. Funny how a few words could make someone hate another.
“Peter,” She said, smiling.
“Pandora,” I replied, gazing up at her.
She had on a blue summer dress, tied in a bow at the back, with a matching cardigan that swamped about her. She carried a basket filled with food and two towels under the other arm. She wore sandals and her hair down.
I was wearing knee length shorts, with a long sleeved collared shirt and the jumper she got me for christmas.
“Are you ready?”
“Very”
“Let's be off then”
It wasn't a particularly nice summer day, grey and misty. Not quite cold enough to wear a coat, and not quite warm enough to be able to go without a jumper of some kind.
The beach was virtually empty, with a single dog walker far in the distance. I followed behind Pandora as she carefully pulled off her sandals, laying them on the ground with the basket as I followed suit.
The tide was going out, but not too far away, as it was still early in the morning. I watched as Pandora gazed at the sea, her blonde hair blowing in the wind, down to her back, her dress billowing around her.
She turned suddenly, a look so pure on her face i felt myself imprinting it in my memory. “PETER” she shouted through the wind, “LET'S GO SWIMMING”
I cupped my hands to my mouth “BUT IT WILL BE VERY COLD, ARE YOU SURE?”
She was already running towards the blue shore though, throwing her cardigan towards me as she went. I caught it, placing it calmly down beside her things, before taking off my own jumper, laughing and sprinting after her, feeling the sand under my feet.
Moments with her always felt more philosophical than with James. James was impulse and laughter and light. Pandora was smiles and eyes and small gestures.
She had got to the sea now and was splashing around, laughing as the water caught on the ends of her dress, as she hopelessly hitched up the skirt. I remembered suddenly that she had never actually been to the beach before, and my own delight at the first moments I came here, on a warmer day than this, like heaven on earth.
That was my haven, the beach. It was all I could ever be and everything I was.
I skipped towards her, gasping as the freezing water hit my shins.
“MERLIN ITS COLD” I gasped, staggering to my sister. She embraced me, then pushed me away and kicked water at me.
“HEY”
Kicking water back as she danced further out, dropping the dress skirt and letting it flow in the ocean.
“COME AND GET ME PETER!”
“YOUR ON”
“YOU’LL NEVER CATCH ME”
“YOU ASKED FOR IT”
I dived for her, toppling us both under water so we came out coughing and shivering.
“PETER YOU UTTER IDIOT”
“HA”
We sat in the shallows, spluttering and rubbing our eyes. She had seaweed plastered on her hair, and I picked it out for her. She was laughing hysterically, rolling back and clutching her stomach. It was the epiphany of beauty, of love and home; Us sitting in that sea, soaking wet, blue lipped and utterly happy.
Sometimes, when I feel horrible, when I want to remember her, I don't think of her when she was older, when the war had rung her out, as far away from it as she had been. Instead I think about us on that day, rung raw and cold, children, and happy with life.
Mother was not happy, to be frank. “Silly children! Silly, silly children, what in Merlin's name were you thinking!? Going swimming in this weather. Pandora, I expected better of you! I am incredibly disappointed, go get changed, you will not be eating dinner tonight mark my words. Off with you! I don't want to see you for the rest of the night!”
The funniest thing was, it was the most she had said to me all year.
Pandora came to my room that night. She crept in quietly, curling up beside me.
“I'm sorry I was so mean yesterday. I guess I just hoped to have you all for myself for another summer.”
“Me too, i should have told you about James.”
“Tch, don't you worry about that. Just me being silly and jealous that Mr Popular has a best friend already!”
I blushed, worming my face away.
She sighed, “Tell me a story Peter”
“Me?”
“Well of course! I wonder who else is called Peter here?”
“What type of story? I-I don't know any”
“Make one up then!”
“Um… Once upon a time there was a princess called Pandora. One day she was kidnapped by evil King Father, so brave Prince Peter and brave Prince James went on an adventure and rescued her!”
“That was lovely Peter.”
The summer was peaceful. Slowly Pandora warmed up to James, like Mother had done the year before. James was just the type of person you warmed up to.
On September the 1st he came with us to see her off to Hogwarts. Before getting on the train she wrapped me up in her arms. “Last time you’ll ever see me off without getting on with me!”
“If im not a squib that is”
She gasped, holding me out in her arms, “Peter Pettigrew you are not a squib”
She kissed my forehead, “don't forget to open your birthday present”
“I won't”
She turned to James, holding her hand out like he had on the first day of summer. He grinned shaking it, “Bye Pandora”
“James.”
Mother ignored her, and she ignored Mother, though I could tell it hurt her. We watched Pandora get on the train and greet another Ravenclaw girl with dark hair and disappear further away.
I could feel James watching me, waiting.
Finally i turned to him, “Guess it's just the two of us again”
“You bet Pete”
We sat on my bed, four presents sitting between us.
“Open mine first!” James exclaimed, pushing the smallest parcel into my lap, bouncing in excitement.
I opened the wrapping slowly, savouring the feeling. Inside was a little glass bottle.
“A potion?” I asked, looking at the liquid inside.
He took it from me, opened the cap and grinned, “just watch Pete!”
He took a sip, scrunched up his nose and after a loud popping sound his hair changed to a vivid shade of hot pink.
“Metamorphosis potion! It wears off after 10 minutes but it's still really cool! You can change one feature of your face at a time.”
“Here let me have a go?”
“Ok, when you drink it think about what you want to change”
I took a sip, my nose scrunching up in effort.
Pop
James spluttered out a laugh, looked at my face, and burst out laughing again. I grabbed the mirror James held and gazed at myself.
Long wiry whiskers sprouted from my cheeks, like a rat.
“You look like a cat!”
“No they’re rat whiskers”
“Ok ok mr know it all. Those are so cool! I was going to give you one of these two mirrors that you can see the other person in or something, but dad said to give it to you in our second year of Hogwarts, prime time for pranks he said.”
“That's ok, I'm looking forward to it.”
I never did get that mirror.
We finished opening all the presents, as the effects of the metamorphosis potion wore off.
Mother “and father” had got me a quill set.
Euphemia and Fleamont had bought me a new wizarding chess set,
And finally Pandora had knitted me a patchwork quilt, which I held in my hands for a while after James had gone, thinking about her.
I wrapped myself in it like a cocoon, and fell asleep, breathing in Pandora. It felt like I was eight years old again, wrapped in her arms as she told me a story. Now I was 11 and she was far away in Scotland.
I was here, a ghost of her memory, that she remembered sometimes, and forgot others. I always thought of her though, in the back of my mind.
“We need to do a prank,” James said one day.
It seemed totally out of the blue, but I knew he was restless to impress his father.
“Like what?”
“I dunno. Something devilish, something cool”
“James, who in Merlin's name can we prank?!”
“Your dad”
I sat up, we were lying in a field near my house, it was a chilly day in October, just past Halloween, but James had wanted to go outside, so here we were.
“No way James, seriously.”
“Why not? He’ll only notice you if you make an impact.”
I knew he wasn't trying to be mean. James didn't understand how it felt to have an absent parent, but it hurt anyway, and I felt myself stand up.
“What?!”
“You can't say that James.”
He looked up at me, innocent, blank.
“I'm really sorry Pete, why don't we prank my Parents instead?”
“Fine.”
But it wasn't really fine.
The prank was going to happen that Tuesday, we were going to put dung bombs in Fleamonts office. It wasn't much, but it was our first ever prank, and James didnt want to get cocky too soon.
On the day, we were both restless, the discussion about my Father quickly forgotten in the face of a prank.
James had one dungbomb in his pocket and I had one in mine. We waited until Fleamont left his study to go to the bathroom before we snuck in. I placed mine under Fleamonts chair and James hid his in the corner of the room.
The results were glorious, and Fleamont was surprisingly jolly about it, laughing his head off and congratulating us.
I knew my Father would never have done this, he would have beat us both and refused me dinner and friendship with James.
I realised then, how bad my parents really were, they didnt love me, they never had and they never were going to.
“PETER SAVE ME” James screamed.
Fleamont had cursed his snowballs to go straight at James, i laughed and threw my own at Fleamont, missing badly but laughing.
It was January now, the snow had not come through until last week.
Christmas had been fun, like last year, waking up at the Potters to presents under the tree and having the nicest Christmas dinner there was.
Fleamont suddenly directed his wand at me, causing the abusive snowballs to pummel me.
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAA” I cried, falling backwards “WE SURRENDER!! HAVE MERCY!!”
“WHAT'S THAT PETER? DID I HEAR SURRENDER?” Fleamont shouted
“NOOO WE WILL NEVER SURRENDER SHUT YOUR GOB PETE!”
“SHUT IT JAMES. YES, WE SURRENDER!”
“BOLLOCKS!!!”
Fleamont lowered his wand, and I sat up, feeling the snow drip from my face. James stuck his tongue out at me and flopped back down in the snow. “You coward Pete! James Potter never surrenders!”
“Why are you speaking in 3rd person exactly?”
“Im being dramatic leave me alone”
I laughed, chucking snow at him. “you are so dramatic”
He looked at me indignantly, “Is this war Peter Pettigrew?”
“Of course.. When is it not?”
He laughed too, diving at me. We wrestled in the snow before Euphemia walked out, flicking her wand at James causing him to flip upside down while I panted.
“JAMES POTTER STOP ATTACKING POOR PETER” she called, “AND DO COME INSIDE I MADE CARROT CAKE AND HOT CHOCOLATE”
James fell back down, muttering “boring mum” under his breath. “Well if she's made cake we might as well go and eat it. Whatcha say Pete?”
“You bet”
James made me feel special, like Pandora had. I was the special person in their lives, I was important and they would miss me if I went. That was always in the back of my mind, keeping me from despair. I wish now I had savoured being their favourite person, a feeling I would never experience again after that year.
“Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday dear Jaaaaaaaaames! Happy birthday to you!!!!”
“Blow out your candles!” I squeaked, and James screwed up his eyes, blowing out the fire.
“What did you wish for?” Euphemia asked
“Can’t tell you”
I turned to him “Can you tell me ?”
He laughed “ 'course i can tell you Peter. We’re best mates!”
He shifted towards me in his chair, cupping his hands around my ear and whispering “ i wished we could be best friends forever and ever”
“Oh shut up.” I muttered, but hugged him anyway.
“Oh gerroff! UGH MUM HELP PETER IS STRANGLING ME”
I chuckled, falling backwards on my chair, disgruntled he turned back to the table, which was laden with gifts,
“Ok which one first!”
After all the presents had been opened we sat in his garden, the April sun warming our bones.
James was playing around with his new gobstone set from “Aunt Florence”
“She gets me gobstones every year. Like Merlin's beard! What does she expect me to be some sort of gobstones wizard?!”
“Meebee” I said, my mouth full of chocolate.
“I can't believe we are nearly going to Hogwarts”
“Mmmm”
“Isn't it Pandora's birthday soon?”
“Mhm”
“Whatcha going to get her”
I swallowed
“Um i dunno yet. I'm thinking like a cardigan or something? Girls like that stuff right?”
James contemplated this, tongue in cheek, eyes in the sky.
“Yeah but that's so boring . Let's go into town tomorrow and get her something muggle related. My dad can give us some muggle money. Lets buy her a book or something, she's smart right?”
“Very”
“That's a plan then”
We went to the town square the next day, pockets stuffed with five pound notes, the paper folded up. It reminded me horribly of Pandora, and I longed for her to be here with me. James and I came here rarely, so it was still filled with my sister, not yet corrupted by the world of James Potter.
I liked it that way.
We found a book shop eventually, after I purposely avoided Pandora's library. It was a modern thing, not as dainty and sweet as the library, but it would do.
After searching for a while James finally tapped me on the shoulder,
“Hey Pete, I reckon I found something. I've got two she might like, they’re old books but still. She's old”
I looked at the two cloth-bound books.
Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte
Little women by Louisa May Alcott
James looked embarrassed, “mum read them, she's really into muggle books and stuff. She loves those two best though.”
I looked up at him, smiling.
“They’re perfect.”
Pandoras thank you letter came the day after her birthday.
Dearest Peter
Thank You so much for the books. Did Euphemia choose them? Or did you do that all by yourself!
They look amazing. I showed them off to all my friends (they are very jealous!)
Have to go now but love you lots!
Yours, Pandora
It was short, too short. I stared at it, perplexed. It seemed far shorter than usual, maybe she didn't care to write to me anymore. Maybe she hated me.
Maybe I didn't matter to her anymore.
“Peter.”
I turned, Mother had come into the living room where me and James had been cowering to escape the July heat.
“Yes, Mother?”
I was shocked to see her, she rarely left the kitchen.
“Pandora will not be returning home this summer, she will be staying with a friend. She will meet us on platform 9¾ on September the first. Your letter should be here soon, when it is, I encourage you to go to Diagon alley with the Potters. If that is not possible we will go together though that will be more difficult. See you at dinner.”
“See you at dinner Mother.”
She had already left though.
Our letters came the next week, and James was ecstatic.
“PETER, PEEETERRRRR” he sang “WE ARE GOING TO HOOOOGWARTS”
I sat up, rubbing my eyes. I had been sleeping round at his, and now he was jumping on his bed (which we were sharing) causing me to wake up.
“huh” i said groggily
He threw a letter at me.
“HOGWARTS HOGWARTS HOGWARTS”
I looked at the letter, trying to ignore his chanting.
Peter Pettigrew
James Potter's bedroom
2 Newcrux Lane
James showed me his, except his read
James Potter
The bedroom on the second floor
2 Newcrux Lane
Inside was exactly the same to how Pandoras had been, explaining we shall attend Hogwarts on September the first and such.
“I'm going to Hogwarts” i whispered, before looking up at james
“I'M GOING TO HOGWARTS”
“YES YOU ARE! SO AM I”
Fleamont entered the room, grinning cheek to cheek.
“Look at my two boys eh? Going to Hogwarts?”
I stopped.
My
I was one of his boys.
James jumped at his father, wrapping his arms around his neck
“I'M NOT A SQUIB”
“Yes James i think we know that”
“HALLELUJAH”
I giggled, and James faced me.
“We’re going to Hogwarts Pete!”