The night sky was beautiful no matter what world you were in, it appeared. At least it was to Luz. At home in Gravesfield, it was pretty hard to see due to light pollution. But in the demon realm, the light pollution was way lower. She could see more than just black between the lights twinkling up there.
There were different shades, and she didn’t see just the brightest stars. No, stars of every size revealed themself in the swirling ocean that was space. She wondered how it all worked for a moment, if this space was the same as the one in the human realm, or if it was different altogether.
The thoughts didn’t last long, being drowned out by the reason she sat out here at the edge of this cliff to begin with. Her mind just couldn’t shut up. She always had trouble focusing until it was about how truly worthless she was. Then it zeroed in on every flaw she had, every mistake she ever made.
If anything, that was Luz’s talent. Picking herself apart and acknowledging all her flaws. She was the greatest! Just, not so great at fixing them.
So Luz sat, staring up at the stars. Wondering if any of those far off stars would have planets with life on them, and wondering how bad she could ruin lives there. She’s 2-0 on ruining worlds as it stood. Well, she didn’t really ruin the human realm. Just ruined the lives of those around her.
Like her mom, who had to work overtime every week to support them, and still had to go to meetings with teachers and principals because all Luz did was cause trouble. Or her classmates, who all had to endure her grating personality and weirdness while she screwed everything up.
But the demon realm? She ruined the whole world. Literally showed up and ruined everyone’s lives, and caused an evil witch hunter to rise to power and nearly destroy every witch in the Boiling Isles.
Eda lost magic because of her. Amity had a falling out with her parents because of her. And everyone she knew had their homes destroyed and civilization ruined, courtesy of none other than Luz. So. Yeah, she at least ruined this whole world.
“You sit out here staring at the sky a lot,” a voice said behind her. Luz jumped, which scared her more due to how close to the edge she was. Luz turned to see the Collector sitting in the grass next to her.
“Wha-huh? When did you get here?” Luz asked, her heart still racing. Not that she was scared of the Collector. He was just a kid, who needed to be shown love like anyone else. But he totally snuck up and scared her.
“Oh, I just popped in. I see you come out here looking at the sky a lot. It’s my job, you know. Watch things, write it down, yada yada.” The Collector said, sounding annoyed by his work.
“I also thought you weren’t supposed to intervene,” Luz said jokingly. The collector frowned and looked down. Luz smacked her forehead, he doesn’t understand jokes very often. “Hey, I was joking. You’re always welcome to come visit. So long as we aren’t doing anything that requires privacy,” Luz said with a smile. The Collector perked up a little at that.
“Does this require privacy?” He asked curiously.
Luz shrugged. “Sometimes, I like the solitude,” she said, looking back to the stars. “But solitude brings loneliness, and my head starts to get a little hectic when I get too lonely. I’m glad to see you.”
The collector smiled and scooted to sit right next to Luz. She could tell he was trying to pick out what exactly she was staring at. “Why do you just sit here and stare out?” The Collector asked.
“I have trouble sleeping, because my mind won’t turn off. Sometimes this helps,” Luz explained.
The Collector frowns at her. “Why would you turn it off?” He asked.
Luz gives a small smile. “It’s a figure of speech, just a saying. I don’t actually want it to turn off. I just keep having all these thoughts, you know? And when I get lonely late at night a lot of times they aren’t very nice. So I try to come here and calm myself.”
“So you feel bad when you get lonely? I can help with that!” The collector says, jumping up. He’s gone in a flash, leaving Luz just as baffled as when he appeared. Within seconds, the Collector reappears, with a very disoriented Amity landing in the grass next to Luz.
“Amity! Are you okay?” Luz shouts, rushing to check on her girlfriend.
“L-Luz? What’s going on? Where are we?” Amity asked, still half asleep.
Instead of answering, Luz turns to the Collector angrily. “Hey! It is not nice to kidnap people in the middle of the night. That was very rude,” she scolds.
The Collector looks down, tears forming in his eyes. “I just wanted to help! You said you felt lonely and that made you feel bad. You always seem so happy when Amity’s around, so I thought it would make you feel better!”
Luz sighs. It was hard dealing with a small child. Way more hard when they had all the powers of the collector. “I know you were trying to help, and I appreciate it. But next time, be sure and ask someone before taking them. And wait for them to wake up,” Luz added, trying to be as clear as possible. She ruffles the hair of the Collector, and he laughs a little.
Amity just stares at the pair, confused beyond words. “A-are you okay, Luz? You feel bad?” She asks in concern.
Luz looks back to her girlfriend, taking in her appearance. Amity was, quite frankly, adorable in her Azura pajamas. Luz sighed, hanging her head. Here she was again, dragging someone else down.
“Hey, Collector, do you mind giving us some privacy? I loved visiting with you, but I want to talk with Amity alone,” Luz says. She is always careful, because they were still teaching the Collector a lot about interacting with people. She wanted him to know she still liked having him around, but also when he needed to give people space.
The Collector ran over and hugged Luz, catching her off guard. But she quickly returned it. He waved at the pair and disappeared with a flash, leaving the lovers alone on the cliff.
Amity took Luz’s hand, and they sat back in the grass, looking out at the sky over the Boiling Sea. “Why are you out here so late Batata?” Amity asked.
Luz shrugged. “I don’t know, just couldn’t sleep, I guess,” she said. She was chewing on the inside of her cheek. Hopefully Amity wouldn’t push it. She didn’t want to bother the witch anymore than she already had.
“You’re a terrible liar,” Amity said, giving Luz a knowing look. The witch parted her legs and patted the grass in between them, and Luz scooted to sit between Amity’s legs. Amity wrapped her arms around her beautiful girlfriend, pulling her to lay back against her. “So, why are you out here?”
Luz sighs. “I can’t shut my mind off,” Luz offers. Amity doesn’t respond, waiting for Luz to continue. “I just keep thinking about my life, and how I screw everything up,” Luz elaborates. She can feel tears collecting in her eyes, but won’t let them fall.
Amity moves to look around Luz, so they can make eye contact. “Sweetie, you haven’t screwed anything up. You’ve always done what you believed was right, and tried to help people. How can you fault yourself for that?” The witch asks.
“Because I ruined Mami’s life, then Eda’s, then caused Belos to nearly destroy every witch in the Boiling Isles. I do screw everything up!” Luz said, leaning forward. She didn’t deserve to be held right now. Or ever, for that matter.
Amity wanted to badly to reach for Luz. But she gave the girl her space. “Sweetie, you don’t really believe that, do you? I see the way your mom looks at you. You were never a burden to her. I know you all had your differences, but now you’ve talked and you know why she was so worried! She never hated who you were, she just worried for you. Do you hate her for that?” Amity asks.
Luz shook her head, so the witch kept going. “And Eda is the happiest she’s ever been. And I know she’s told you why, numerous times over. She met you, and you helped turn her life around. She chose to take you in as her family, and you helped her fix her life, not ruin it.” Amity said.
“Yeah, but I still helped Belos,” Luz said, her voice low on gruff. Amity could tell she was on the verge of crying now.
“You mean you met another human stranded in a world that wasn’t his own, and knew he found a way to make a portal back to the human realm, and so you helped him, hoping he’d help you go home? You didn’t know who he was, Luz. That’s not your fault, you did the right thing. Because you’re a good person, Batata. And we all love you for it. I know I do,” Amity said.
Luz’s shoulders started to shake as sobs consumed her body. Amity pulled Luz back into her, and Luz laid her head against the Witch’s chest. She cried hard, trying and failing to speak. Amity shushed her softly, rubbing her back soothingly.
“W-why d-do I h-have to h-hate myself so m-much then?” Luz asked. She couldn’t stop fucking crying. Titan, she hated this. She didn’t want Amity to see this side of her. Amity just shushed her and continued to hold her, rubbing circles into her back.
Once Luz had calmed down, Amity spoke. “I hate seeing you hurt Batata. I’d give anything to fix it for you. I wish just one day you could see yourself through my eyes. You’d know how special, and beautiful, and amazing you really are. I love you so much,” Amity said.
Luz just laid against her, listening to Amity’s breathing. “I’m sorry,” Luz said.
“For what?” Amity asked.
“For dragging you down and bothering you with this. I normally just come sit out here to try and feel better. But the Collector wanted to help, so he drug you out here.” Luz explained.
“Thank Titan he did,” Amity said. “I’m always here for you Sweetie. Anytime, anywhere. I’ll always be there to remind you how loved you are. Next time, just call me and I’ll come sneak in. We could have a sleepover!” Amity offered. Ever since their stay in the human realm, Amity missed staying with everyone. It was nice, having everyone around.
Luz smiled a little. “That does sound nice, but I wouldn’t want to bother you,” Luz says sleepily.
Amity stood up, offering her girlfriend a hand. “Batata, I love you. You are never a bother. Come on, we can sneak into the manor. I’ll text Eda that you’re staying with me tonight.”