maybe this is wishful thinking
James Potter knew what it was like to be in love, after all, he had been in love with Lily Evans since he first saw her on the Hogwarts Express in 1971. Her eyes, her hair, her rare confidence that she carried even when being insulted or mocked by the Pureblood Slytherins. She was outstanding. Beautiful. Everything James had wanted for himself.
The first time she had turned him down they had been in First Year. James convinced Sirius to speak to Lily in History of Magic, since they sat next to each other, and begged Sirius to ask Lily whether she would go out with him. James can still remember the laughter, the shock, and the blunt answer of 'There's no chance in hell I would ever date James Potter' which took him by surprise and made his heart sink into his chest. Lily had given him dirty looks for the next four years, constantly shutting him down, making him feel unwanted. Despite pleas from the rest of the Marauders to give up on her, he knew he couldn't. Love is too rare to give up on so easily.
The transformation of a crush into love happened so slightly for James, but all at once at the same time. He couldn't remember a time in which he didn't love Lily Evans, because after all, who couldn't love her fiery temper that matched her red hair, her undeniable intelligence which everyone agreed was highly rare for a Muggle Born? Every time he saw her he was reminded of how much he loved her, and how much it pained him to love her. He was reminded of the endless insults and times in which he had to sallow his pride and act as if the rejections didn't hurt him. As if they didn't cause him to break down crying many of times, wondering why she couldn't love him back.
James Potter knowing what it was like to be in love meant that he was able to see the change between Remus and Sirius. His two best friends, who these days talked softly to each other, instead of bluntness and the jokey tone of your voice that you only use around your closest friends. He was able to pick up on the longing stares across the breakfast table, in the middle of class, when they were getting ready for bed. The stares that held a thousand thoughts in one. The stares that meant they were in love, no less. The only thing James didn't know was if they knew themselves. James wanted them to come to him, so he stayed quiet, and ignored the ways they acted around each other.
Peter seemed to pick up on the growing closeness between Remus and Sirius also, but he missed the romantic side of things. The jealous stares that Peter started to send Sirius made James aware of this. Peter thought that Sirius was taking his best friend. James would admit that in the early years, him and Sirius left Remus and Peter out a lot. They never meant it on purpose, it was simply that him and Sirius had a connection straight away, and Remus and Peter sometimes felt on completely different wavelengths. Remus and Peter, in turn, became close, and where ever Remus went, Peter was often next to him. Sirius becoming closer to Remus probably felt like a threat, that Sirius was coming to take his best friend away, like how in his eyes, he had done with James. Come to think of it, Sirius and Peter were never that close. But they were still Marauders, and that to James, was more important than anything.
Now, sitting in his own room in his own house, it was abundantly clear above all else that Remus and Sirius were completely and unconditionally in love with each other, and way too stubborn to admit it. The talk between James and Sirius in the kitchen took him off guard. He had never known Sirius to be that distraught by a small argument, or to be able to let on to James the way he felt about Remus. That was the first time that matter had been discussed, but between James and Sirius, it never needed to be. Sirius knew James knew, and that was that. He could openly talk about how he felt about Remus without shock from James, or endless questions like he would get if he discussed it with Peter instead. They both knew each other better than anyone else, they were brothers after all.
From a distance, he could hear the muffled sounds of Remus and Sirius talking upstairs. He stayed in the kitchen after Sirius had left to go talk to Remus, hoping to catch a sound of what was unfolding upstairs.
If only they would stop dancing around each other, he thought and laughed, thinking of how they were probably upstairs, staring into each others eyes, yet refusing to say anything to the other about their feelings.
They did this whilst they were at Hogwarts, also. Having small arguments, then making up quickly and treating each other as softly as possible. He supposes thats what him and Lily would be like, if she ever by miracle one day accepted his offers. He shook his head at this thought after a while. How could he ever disagree with anything Lily Evans said? How could he ever enter into an argument with her?
Sitting there in that kitchen, he wondered how it felt to be like Remus and Sirius.
To love, and be loved back.