House Of Black
The Noble And Most Ancient House Of Black.
So beautifully broken and misunderstood. Disastrous, awful, old-fashioned and cruel were the Black's, yet not all of them. Brainwashed by the purity and history of their ancestors, pressured and forced upon decisions many wish not to make yet that was the cost to have a name as important and well known as Black.
Each Black was forced to contribute, forced to carry on the legacy of magic and purity. A family more broken than most, filled with toxicity, abuse, incest and darkness. It was believed to be a family of nothing but the best. A house of power. The Black's were practically royalty. Toujours Pur.
Many members of the Black's had stories left untold. Some members were misunderstood and unmourned even Sirius Black fell into that, he was mourned by very few and always, ever so misunderstood.
Sirius Orion Black, a child braver than most, a child without a childhood, a child who was smarter than majority of his prestigious family.
Their surname may of been shared but their beliefs were not. The Black's such as Bellatrix, Walburga, Orion, Cygnus were just a few of the Black's who were the worst of the worst. Who were nothing but horrid and in reality they were, what they liked to be called, true Black's. Whereas Sirius brought change, brought hope and that, that was the most important thing of all, for hope is more powerful than blood.
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Sirius held his breath and listened to the eerie silence, trying to figure out if everyone was in bed before he climbed out of his own. He crept towards his bedroom door, standing high on his tiptoes and avoiding the loose floorboards to ensure the noise stayed to a minimum. The house was silent, still and dark but the darkness did not matter for Sirius had memorised each and every room. He knew how many steps it took to reach each room as if it was something so simply known.
The handle fell cold beneath his fingertips as he opened the door to his little brothers room. Regulus was only a year younger so he really was not much smaller than Sirius but that did not stop him from being the best older brother he could be.
"Reg!" he whispered after closing the door as quietly as he possibly could "Reggie, are you awake?" Sirius could hear movement in the large bed in front of him and within seconds the lamp that stood on the bedside table dimly lit up the room. Sirius smiled happily before rushing over and jumping onto the end of Regulus' bed.
They both sat cross legged and facing each other whilst gossiping in quiet whispers. Sirius was talking about everything that he hoped would happen in his first coming months in Hogwarts and Regulus sat, listening with awe, wishing more than anything that he could go to Hogwarts tomorrow with his brother. It just so happened that Sirius was wishing the exact same thing.
Guilt ran through him, yet he tried his best not to let it show, he had always been good at hiding his feelings. Masking fear and sadness was a necessity whilst growing up in the house of Black but something about leaving Regulus alone hit him a little harder than he imagined. Not wanting to upset Regulus and most certainly not wanting to leave him all alone with his parents but there wasn't a lot he could do about it.
"Do you have to go? Please Sirius, can't you just stay?" Regulus begged in a sad tone which caused a sharp tug at Sirius' heart.
"I'm sorry Reggie but I can't... I must go and learn. I shall be back for christmas in a few months time. You know, I will be back before you even have chance to miss me."
"But- but you can learn here... we have always learnt here. What if you make new friends that are better than me? What if you-"
"Don't be silly Reg. We are best friends, brothers. Nobody could replace you." Sirius was speaking nothing but the truth, Regulus wasn't just a brother he was his best friend, had been since before he could remember.
"Promise me that nothing will change Sirius. Promise me it will all stay the same," Regulus begged. He may of been 10 but Regulus wasn't a fool, he knew nothing could stay the same forever yet that didn't mean he was ready to come to terms with that. "I don't want you to be like Bella or Cissy, what if-"
"I am never going to be like them or anybody else for that matter. I'll always be me, Reg. Perhaps this shall be good for me- for us. I can go to school now and I can find out lots of cool stuff and find out where everything is so when you join next year I can show you everything."
"Andromeda could show us, you don't nee-" Regulus fell silent before finishing his sentence. They both heard footsteps coming from the hallway. Sirius' breath hitched as he listened carefully at the approaching footsteps and immediately he knew who's they belonged to. "I don't want to get in trouble."
"Shhh," Sirius whispered whilst shaking his head and holding his index finger to his lip. Regulus fell back down so his head hit the pillow and he pulled the covers up to his chin. Sirius silently crept over to the lamp and twisted the valve so as the room fell to complete darkness.
This wasn't a new experience to them, Sirius often crept around the house silently. He often feared his parents but to him that was completely normal. Bought up by fear and control, Sirius never knew what it was like to be loved as he had never felt the love of a parent or even a friend.
Tucked into Regulus' small walk-in wardrobe in amongst the dozen of dress robes and shirts, awaiting for his mother to enter, as he knew she would, he hid.
There it was, the sound of the door creaking open as light shafted through the opening. Regulus continued to fake sleep, hoping she didn't know that Sirius was hiding in his wardrobe. Regulus rarely got in trouble, he could've done the exact same thing as Sirius but it was completely different for reasons neither of them understood just yet.
"Sirius Orion Black! You do not fool me, show yourself. Countless times I have told you the importance of doing what you are told! I told you the the next time I found you out of bed after hours there would be punishment!" Sirius pressed his back up against the wardrobe wall and he slid down it, hugging his knees tightly to his chest. Often, he found himself shutting off his ears so that not a sound would go through his head, as if he could turn it all off. For it was far easier to be yelled at when you couldn't focus on what someone was saying.
His heart stopped and Regulus jolted up as Walburga opened up the wardrobe doors in one harsh tug.
Stay hidden and I won't be punished. Stay hidden and I won't be punished.
Sirius instinctively threw his head down onto his knees and covered the back of his head with his hands but that did not stop her. Walburga reached down and grasped a handful of Sirius' hair and pulled him up, dragging him out of the wardrobe.
"Mother I'm sorry! Mother let go! Please don't-" Sirius cried whilst clasping his hands over his mother's, trying to pull her tight grip off him but he was powerless. Fear ran through him, entered his body and wrapped around his lungs, making his breath hitch as Walburga threw him onto the ground at the foot of Regulus' bed.
"You cannot even manage to follow simple house rules, there shall be punishment! You are the heir of a great name and you will learn some respect!" Walburga yelled down at her son who was cowering down with his back against the floor. Regulus had already hidden under the covers, pulling his legs into his chest for comfort as he knew he was, once again about to witness something horrid.
"I won't do it again! I just wanted to say goo-" Sirius was quickly interrupted as his father marched into the room, face stern and teeth clenched.
"What is the meaning of this? Early hours of the morning and I hear this racket! What are you doing out of bed son?" Orion spat. "Stand up! Get up!" Sirius scrambled to his feet and stood up straight, hands to his side, head held high just as he was taught. A strand of his growing hair covered his eye but he didn't dare move.
"I'm sorry, Father."
"You shan't get away with this any longer," Walburga continued "Tomorrow you are going to school for the first time and if by any chance you do not follow the rules I will be sure to make you regret it are we understood? Rules are made to be followed! You shall respect us, your superiors, just as the rest of the world shall be made to respect us!" At the finishing of her words Orion stepped forwards closer to his eldest child. It took a great deal for Sirius not to step back. He wanted to just close his eyes and open them and have everyone gone... but that didn't happen, it never worked.
"One day you shall grow up and see how things really are. One day you will know the true meaning of being a Black. Until then, you do as you're told. Fail to do so, leads to punishments. One should not break the rules if one does not want to face the consequences. So you shall turn around and you will deal with the consequences like a man, understood?" Sirius swallowed harshly as his heart pounded faster and harder against his chest. He silently nodded whilst a pit formed in his stomach, making him feel sick about the punishment he was about to withstand.
"I said do you understand?!" Orion yelled down making Sirius jump slightly and take a step back.
"Yes, Father. I understand." Sirius began to turn around, body shaking with fear as he began to pick at the skin around his nails. He faced the direction of his younger brother who was still hiding under the covers, being unacknowledged by their parents. Sirius closed his eyes shut tightly and dug his nails into his palms, creating half moon marks as the sound of footsteps moved behind him. Orion was leaving, yet Walburga was not.
It was always her.
"Funem ignis!" Walburga yelled whilst bringing her hand up and swinging it diagonally. Rope, illuminated by fire, shot out of her wand and thrashed against her sons back like a whip. Sirius let out a cry and arched his back as the cord-like rope collided harshly with his skin. The immediate numbness turned into itchiness which quickly fell to burning as the rope scorched its way through his clothes and into his skin.
Searing pain ricocheted through him as his mother done it again and again. Three hard hits that sent ripping sensations over his back as the surface skin was burnt through, leaving his back agonisingly sore. Each strike was body jarring and sent his body jutting forwards as he braced himself for another hit. No thoughts were running through his mind at that point of time, just focusing on the burning sensation as he fell to his knees letting out a loud sob before Walburga gripped his shoulder and pulled him to his feet.
"We do not cry. We do not beg. We are Black's, we are strong!" Walburga said whilst wiping her sons tears with her thumbs "Do not cry my son. We all must be taught right from wrong, one day you shall be as strong as myself and your father. One day you shall do me proud and it will start tomorrow, you set your reputation tomorrow when you join Slytherin."
"Yes Mother." Tears continued to stream down his cheeks as he tried to push his shoulder blades together, stopping his pyjama shirt from touching his open wounds.
"I do not mean you harm Sirius. I only mean to make you strong." Sirius was fooled by the manipulative techniques his mother constantly used against him "This is your fault, you make me hurt you. If only you would listen and everything shall be well. Follow our rules and beliefs and no harm shall come to you. Fail to follow rules, fail to stay pure and fail to do right and you will be hurt beyond imaginable."
As soon as Sirius shut his bedroom door behind him he broke down. He couldn't understand. He couldn't understand why someone would like to hurt their own children but then he remembered his mother's words.
This is your fault.
Sirius believed her, Sirius was a child, fooled by such treachery. He tried to behave, he really did try, but he just couldn't understand his parents ways. Nobody had every explained to him why they hated muggleborns and blood traitors, he couldn't quite grasp the reasoning behind hating those who weren't pure all he knew was he was meant to hate them and if he didn't then his parents would hate him.
He cried more than usual whilst changing his clothes and looking at the damage done. He stood in front of the large mirror and looked at the awful marks on his back. Three large, raw, thick marks of blood and blistered skin. Sirius was disgusted, disgusted at the marks on his back but also disgusted with himself.
Why do they hate me so much? Why do they hurt me like they do? He asked himself the same questions daily but the answer never quite got to him for he never truly done anything wrong. So the easiest option was to blame himself and listen to what his mother told him. It's my fault.
Sirius had called Kreacher to help heal his wounds but Kreacher was forbidden by Orion to ever heal them properly. Kreacher was allowed to seal the wound to stop blood or mess but he was forbidden to actually relief Sirius of all the pain.
After hours of tossing and turning, thoughts racing and after all the tears had drained from his eyes, Sirius had finally managed to fall into a deep sleep. Laying face down so as his back wasn't touching with the mattress. The thought of escaping to Hogwarts was like a dream. He knew deep down that it wasn't a true escape, he would always be linked to that house, that family. Even in Hogwarts he would be in the same house as his older cousins so it wasn't like he was free but at least his parents couldn't hurt him there, at least he hoped they couldn't.
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Sunlight shafted through the gaps of the curtains, leaving golden rays of light against the wooden floorboards. Unlike usual, Sirius jolted up at the first sign of daylight. It was the day he had been waiting for. The pure excitement of the day took all of his focus so as he didn't pay attention to the pain in his back. Complete anticipation for the days ahead, the start of his whole life. Sirius thought it was the beginning of something new- good- and he was absolutely right but it was also the beginning of the end.
He climbed out of bed and headed straight to the door but froze as he grasped the handle. His smile fell slightly and he knew he had to calm down, he took a deep breath, straightened his posture and then made his way out of the door and down to the first floor.
Although it was morning and sun was blaring through the windows the house was still cold and dark. Everyone was already in the kitchen, seated at the table. Orion was reading the daily prophet, Walburga was writing letters and Regulus was eating his breakfast.
"You are to eat, shower and dress," Orion said as Sirius entered the room. "Your mother shall be taking you to the station herself."
"Can Reggi- Regulus come?" Sirius asked as he took a seat besides him and began to eat his breakfast that Kreacher had already placed.
"There is no need, I shall take you on my own." Sirius did not argue with his mother, nor did Regulus. They just sat in silence, unable to speak unless spoken to first. Countless thoughts ran through his mind and emotions he could not figure out. Excitement, fear, adrenaline, hope, sadness, anger, everything you could possibly feel Sirius was feeling it.
He did as his father had told him he ate and then showered, which wasn't the most pleasant experience with his still fresh wounds. His trunk was already packed so all that was left to do was dress into his new robes. Of course his robes were made to perfection. They fitted correctly and Sirius looked absolutely flawless which, as a matter of fact, Sirius did not like so he made sure to keep the top button undone and loosen his tie.
As the time grew closer Sirius began to feel a little nervous to leave for the train station. It wasn't Hogwarts that he was necessarily nervous about, Sirius was an overly confident person but it was rather the fact he had to spend 9 hours on a train with his older cousins.
With a loud crack, Kreacher appeared in Sirius' bedroom. "Kreacher has come to take Master Sirius' trunk down to the kitchen," the elf said with a look of pure disgust on his face.
"Wait hold on," Sirius quickly ran over to the corner of his room and dropped to his knees, bending his body down so as his cheek was touching the floorboards. He stretched his arm out, under the cabinet and pulled out one of many diaries, the newest of them all. A small, leather bound diary that he often wrote in. Sirius was one to express his feeling into paper, he would write everything and anything. A collection of diaries, hidden under his dresser, containing writing, drawings, scribbles. Diaries filled with words Sirius could never say out loud. Questions that he wouldn't dare ask his family.
After tucking his diary into his trunk Kreacher disappeared, alongside the trunk itself. Sirius took a quick glance around the room and smiled happily to himself, four months of freedom.
Regulus rushed into the room and hugged him from behind. Sirius jumped slightly, confused as they very rarely hugged. They were closer than ever, best friends but hugging just wasn't something either of them were used to. Sirius tried not to wince as Regulus wrapped his arms around him and ignored the pain in his back and focused more on the guilt he was feeling.
"One would think I'm dying with the way you're acting Reggie. I'll be back for christmas." Regulus looked up at him after pulling away, Sirius turned round to face him and saw the sad expression plastered across his little brothers face "Come on Reg, don't be upset. You will be ok here, you won't get into any trouble either because it's always me who gets us in trouble."
"I know that but aren't I going to be rather lonely? Everyone's going to school now and I'm stuck alone with Mother and Father."
"You'll be alright Reg. I will write to you all the time yeah? I'll tell you all about it and you can tell me about anything you do he-"
"Sirius!" Walburga called. Sirius and Regulus said one last goodbye before he made his way down to his mother. Despite being nervous the pure excitement outweighed it all, everyone in the family had always said Hogwarts was a pathetic school but Sirius struggled to believe that. He had read every book in their library about the school after receiving his letter. And quite frankly, Sirius thought it to be an amazing place to go, although anywhere except 12 Grimmauld place was amazing to Sirius.
He was completely and utterly astonished when reaching platform 9 and 3/4. His mother had sent his belongings and owl to the luggage department and Sirius spent the whole time marvelling at his surroundings. Mother's crying whilst sending their children to the train for the first time. Friends tightly embracing, siblings chasing each other, everyone seemed beyond happy to be there. Sirius was completely shocked how immature the other children were allowed to act. They could run around, be loud and have fun. He loved it.
Sirius stood besides his mother whilst she gossiped with Druella. He began to scrape the tops of his shoes so as to scuff them so he could no longer see his own reflection in them. His robes were still not perfect but Walburga made sure to fix that before sending him to the train.
She yanked him in by his tie after speaking to Druella and fixed every little detail about him so that one would say he was utterly perfect. Walburga tried to push his hair back for it was gradually getting longer and would soon be in need to get it cut yet Sirius insisted on letting it grow out. His mother began to go on a rant to him but he was far more focused on the feeling of excitement that was brewing in his chest as people were beginning to board the train.
"You must listen to me!" Walburga hissed whilst grabbing his chin and forcing his face forwards. "Your father and I have already spoke to you about the importance of your reputation. It isn't just you but our whole family you represent. Be sure to remember our family values." Sirius changed so all his focus was on her at the remembrance of what had happened just last night.
"I will."
"You will be in Slytherin with your cousins and they will not hesitate to inform me of any misbehaviour so do not attempt it. The amount of tutoring you have had will be sure to put you at the top of your classes and be sure to keep it that way."
"Yes Mother."
There was an awkward, unspoken tension between them in that second. Everyone else was hugging their parents goodbye, saying they'll miss them. That wasn't how it worked in his family.
"May I go now?" Sirius asked, desperate to make an escape, even if it meant having to sit with his cousins for hours.
"Yes you may. Bellatrix, Andromeda and Narcissa are all to be waiting for you so be sure to go straight to them." Sirius nodded slightly and went to turn around but just at the last second Walburga grabbed his wrist tightly. "Toujours Pur, Sirius. Toujours Pur."
Sirius meandered his way through the crowds, smiling to himself as he boarded the train. His mother had already sent his belongings to the luggage compartment so he walked, empty handed. He could not comprehend his own feelings. All he knew was that he was beyond excited to be going to Hogwarts.
Everybody appeared to know where they were going, rushing into compartments, laughing and running about the place. There were even firecrackers being lit in the walkway and Sirius could not help but watch in complete admiration. He kept walking, down the aisle in hunt for his cousins, looking at each and every compartment and he somehow doubted that Bellatrix would sit somewhere so chaotic.
Someone grasped his arm and Sirius jumped and spun round before a bright smile pulled at his lips. His confidence run back to him as he was met with a familiar face, the face of his favourite relative.
"Hello, cousin," Andromeda smiled with a smirk. "You lost?"
"How could I be lost on a train?" Sirius laughed "Where are they sitting then?"
"You aren't seriously going to sit with them are you?" She questioned with an odd glance "Trust me, you don't want to."
"I know but mother says I sho- actually I don't care what mother says. I can handle Bella and Cissy." He couldn't. He knew he couldn't and he did care what his Mother said.
"You underestimate them Sirius." He knew she was right. Sirius most certainly could not handle Bellatrix as she would most definitely violently hex him, without hesitation if Sirius somehow managed to piss her off.
"Are you sitting with them?" Sirius asked as a few people barged passed him
"Fuck that, I'm making a quick escape. Things are different here Sirius. You think Bella is bad at home then you will have a nasty shock. Now come on quickly, go find some friends and have a fun journey." She pointed in front of her, over Sirius' shoulder at an angry Bellatrix who was pushing a bunch of first years to the ground as they somehow managed to barricade the whole walkway. As Sirius saw her he felt sickened to his stomach and decided to listen to Andromeda.
"I'll see you at the sorting next right?"
"Yes of course,"
"See you later Anders!" Sirius grinned as he passed her, walking further from Bellatrix. Andromeda nudged him slightly and scoffed at the nickname she pretended to hate. Now what? He thought to himself as he walked away.
"SIRIUS!" Bellatrix yelled from behind him. Sirius' heart dropped and without thinking he quickly pulled open the compartment closest to him, in which he assumed was empty, and shut the door behind him. All the chaos and loud noises became distant and muffled behind the closed door and he scoffed to himself whilst looking down at his shoes and leaning his back against the door.
A sigh of relief escaped his lips as he brushed his fingers through his hair and straightened his robes, he had felt as if he had just shut the world out. As if he had just escaped all his problems because for the very first time he wasn't with family and he was left to his own decisions.