505
I̶'m̶ g̶o̶i̶n̶g̶ b̶a̶c̶k̶ t̶o̶ 5̶0̶5̶
I̶f̶ i̶t̶'s̶ a̶ s̶e̶v̶e̶n̶ h̶o̶u̶r̶ f̶l̶i̶g̶h̶t̶ o̶r̶ a̶ f̶o̶r̶t̶y̶-f̶i̶v̶e̶ m̶i̶n̶u̶t̶e̶ d̶r̶i̶v̶e̶
Regulus was going back to Grimmauld Place, and that was final. The thing he'd had the worst fear of, the thing he was praying to anything in existence to not happen to. He had talked to Lily and he knew, Lily wanted to invite him to live with her but her parents weren't exactly welcoming to strangers, especially if they had never heard of them. Lily didn't tell her parents about him, or else someone (maybe even Snivellus) might find out and that would be the last straw for Regulus.
So she didn't invite him, apologized and they tried to find any other survivable solution. His parents wouldn't leave him at Hogwarts, and if he just stayed, they would come and forcibly take him with them. There was no one who was willing to take him in, given his reputation. So, going back to Grimmauld Place was his only option.
Lovely.
I̶n̶ m̶y̶ i̶m̶a̶g̶i̶n̶a̶t̶i̶o̶n̶, y̶o̶u̶'r̶e̶ w̶a̶i̶t̶i̶n̶' l̶y̶i̶n̶' o̶n̶ y̶o̶u̶r̶ s̶i̶d̶e̶
W̶i̶t̶h̶ y̶o̶u̶r̶ h̶a̶n̶d̶s̶ b̶e̶t̶w̶e̶e̶n̶ y̶o̶u̶r̶ t̶h̶i̶g̶h̶s̶
Watching the great hall and various other rooms in Hogwarts get decorated over the next week, he couldn't help but feel some sort of melancholy. He remembered that' when Sirius and him were still united, were still brothers, they made one part of one of their closets into an own little room, decorating it and letting their christmas spirit get the best of them. They'd be happy, talked and made fun of their cousins and aunts and uncles.
Those were peaceful, almost wonderful times, but it all stopped abruptly when Sirius left. The first year, Regulus had tried to recreate it, do it on his own but it wasn't of use. The room was too empty, just as the house was, just like Regulus' heart. Sometimes, he'd look at the car figurine that Lily had gifted him, wondering if Sirius would have been just as enchanted about it. He'd also make up little scenarios in his head, them both, sitting in front of their secret christmas tree, giving each other presents. He knew, it was stupid and useless, he knew, that would never happen, nontheless: each Christmas, he bought a present for Sirius, wrapped it in beautiful wrapping paper and put a letter to it. And each year, on december 26th, he'd put it in his closet, hidden from the world, maybe even hidden from his own heart.
I̶'d̶ p̶r̶o̶b̶a̶b̶l̶y̶ s̶t̶i̶l̶l̶ a̶d̶o̶r̶e̶ y̶o̶u̶ w̶i̶t̶h̶ y̶o̶u̶r̶ h̶a̶n̶d̶s̶ a̶r̶o̶u̶n̶d̶ m̶y̶ n̶e̶c̶k̶
O̶r̶ I̶ d̶i̶d̶ l̶a̶s̶t̶ t̶i̶m̶e̶ I̶ c̶h̶e̶c̶k̶e̶d̶
But of course, he'd never told anyone about that, for he knew it was ridiculous and childish behaviour. His brother hated him, they were separated and there were a few reasons for that. First of all; his own behaviour. He had said no, he didn't resist his parents abuse like Sirius had. And that was the next reason: His parents' ways of "diciplining" him. Curses, actual knifes, anything else: nothing was really off limits for them, or especially Walburga, if it meant forcing her will onto the children she birthed. The "heirs". As Sirius once had ranted, the heirs of "a shit eating and puppy kicking dynasty". Sirius had always been creative when it came to dishonouring their family name.
He never really cared, especially about their family and bloodline. That, he showed oh so many times. Regulus remembered, one time, Sirius actually came to dinner with his freshly earned Gryffindor tie. The amount of screams and cries and curses following, it had been traumatizing for Regulus and form that, he learned one thing: do not provoke Walburga and Orion Black. Of course, Sirius either didn't learn from it, or he chose to ignore it. Regulus had begged it wasn't the latter, for that would be suicidal. And that was the last thing Regulus needed: A suicidal Idol.
N̶o̶t̶ s̶h̶y̶ o̶f̶ a̶ s̶p̶a̶r̶k̶
T̶h̶e̶ k̶n̶i̶f̶e̶ t̶w̶i̶s̶t̶s̶ a̶t̶ t̶h̶e̶ t̶h̶o̶u̶g̶h̶t̶ t̶h̶a̶t̶ I̶ s̶h̶o̶u̶l̶d̶ f̶a̶l̶l̶ s̶h̶o̶r̶t̶ o̶f̶ t̶h̶e̶ m̶a̶r̶k̶
Another thing that Regulus really didn't need was the godforsaken dark mark, burnt into his skin forever. The event that his parents were so eager to happen, the event that Regulus was the most scared of. It would make the decision final; the decision to be a coward and a traitor to his brother. But what other choice did he have? What were his other options? Get rejected by his brother and his crush to live on the streets? That would just be stupid, considering that he could do better. He would be evil, yes. The bad guy. The villain in the fairy tale. The evil, bloodthirsty beast. But atleast he wouldn't be the freezing, starving beast. He wouldn't be abandoned, not anymore that he already was.
B̶u̶t̶ I̶ c̶r̶u̶m̶b̶l̶e̶ c̶o̶m̶p̶l̶e̶t̶e̶l̶y̶ w̶h̶e̶n̶ y̶o̶u̶ c̶r̶y̶
I̶t̶ s̶e̶e̶m̶s̶ l̶i̶k̶e̶ o̶n̶c̶e̶ a̶g̶a̶i̶n̶ y̶o̶u̶'v̶e̶ h̶a̶d̶ t̶o̶ g̶r̶e̶e̶t̶ m̶e̶ w̶i̶t̶h̶ g̶o̶o̶d̶b̶y̶e̶
Regulus was going back to Grimmauld Place, and that was final.
I̶'m̶ g̶o̶i̶n̶g̶ b̶a̶c̶k̶ t̶o̶ 5̶0̶5̶
I̶f̶ i̶t̶'s̶ a̶ s̶e̶v̶e̶n̶ h̶o̶u̶r̶ f̶l̶i̶g̶h̶t̶ o̶r̶ a̶ f̶o̶r̶t̶y̶-f̶i̶v̶e̶ m̶i̶n̶u̶t̶e̶ d̶r̶i̶v̶e̶
I̶n̶ m̶y̶ i̶m̶a̶g̶i̶n̶a̶t̶i̶o̶n̶, y̶o̶u̶'r̶e̶ w̶a̶i̶t̶i̶n̶' l̶y̶i̶n̶' o̶n̶ y̶o̶u̶r̶ s̶i̶d̶e̶
W̶i̶t̶h̶ y̶o̶u̶r̶ h̶a̶n̶d̶s̶ b̶e̶t̶w̶e̶e̶n̶ y̶o̶u̶r̶ t̶h̶i̶g̶h̶s̶
a̶n̶d̶ a̶ s̶m̶i̶l̶e̶