Mama
M̶a̶m̶a̶, w̶e̶ a̶l̶l̶ g̶o̶ t̶o̶ h̶e̶l̶l̶
M̶a̶m̶a̶, w̶e̶ a̶l̶l̶ g̶o̶ t̶o̶ h̶e̶l̶l̶
I̶'m̶ w̶r̶i̶t̶i̶n̶g̶ t̶h̶i̶s̶ l̶e̶t̶t̶e̶r̶ a̶n̶d̶ w̶i̶s̶h̶i̶n̶g̶ y̶o̶u̶ w̶e̶l̶l̶
M̶a̶m̶a̶, w̶e̶ a̶l̶l̶ g̶o̶ t̶o̶ h̶e̶l̶l̶
When the door to Grimmauld Place opened before him, Regulus' heart was beating so loud, he was scared the neighbours might hear him. A little part inside of his head hurt, but with the pain of a burn. Weird. As he took a deep breath, fixed his suit and stepped inside. Of course he wore a suit at home, his parents still seemed to like in the 19th century in some aspects. No, scratch that. In most, actually.
They didn't like technology, all the lights were magic. They still dressed very old-fashioned, suits and fancy dresses were the contents of the wardrobes in the Black-household. None of their parents did anything in the house, for them, that's what a house elf was for, in their opinion.
He heard screaming, first authoritative, then, from a second person, pained. Regulus closed his eyes in empathy. They also treated anyone that didn't fit their views horribly, even Kreacher, the house elf that did all the work for them. Even the parenting, Merlin, it hadn't been Walburga who comforted Regulus after Sirius left, nor was it Orion who covered up for him whenever anything happened.
O̶h̶ w̶e̶l̶l̶ n̶o̶w̶, M̶a̶m̶a̶, w̶e̶'r̶e̶ a̶l̶l̶ g̶o̶n̶n̶a̶ d̶i̶e̶
M̶a̶m̶a̶, w̶e̶'r̶e̶ a̶l̶l̶ g̶o̶n̶n̶a̶ d̶i̶e̶
S̶t̶o̶p̶ a̶s̶k̶i̶n̶g̶ m̶e̶ q̶u̶e̶s̶t̶i̶o̶n̶s̶, I̶'d̶ h̶a̶t̶e̶ t̶o̶ s̶e̶e̶ y̶o̶u̶ c̶r̶y̶
M̶a̶m̶a̶, w̶e̶'r̶e̶ a̶l̶l̶ g̶o̶n̶n̶a̶ d̶i̶e̶
Sometimes, Regulus thought as a bitter taste crept up his throat, he felt as if Kreacher was nothing but their slave, even though he helped Orion with important decisions. Not really voicing any ideas but more giving casual input, making it look like it was Orion's idea to begin with, of course. It made Regulus sick how little credit they gave him, they didn't even pay Kreacher. In Regulus' opinion, that was immoral and unfair.
After the screaming stopped, Kreacher appeared before him, bowed and greeted him. "Hello, Master Regulus. It's a pleasure to see you again. How has the year been?" Regulus allowed himself to smile at Kreacher and answered "It was alright, my marks are remarkable, Professor Slughorn said." Kreacher smiled at him, an honest smile, and said "When you enter the fireside lounge, please do not hesitate to fetch yourself a quiche. It's made with chicken and the salsa dip that you like so much."
That was Kreachers way of showing love, sort of. Doing little things so your day might become better. Kreacher often did those things for Regulus. Under these circumstances, you could maybe consider the two of them friends. Regulus was about to respond when a loud, cold voice cut him off. "Regulus Arcturus, stop talking to the elf, or do you prefer him over your own parents?" Walburga Black, at her best.
M̶a̶m̶a̶, w̶e̶'r̶e̶ a̶l̶l̶ f̶u̶l̶l̶ o̶f̶ l̶i̶e̶s̶
M̶a̶m̶a̶, w̶e̶'r̶e̶ m̶e̶a̶n̶t̶ f̶o̶r̶ t̶h̶e̶ f̶l̶i̶e̶s̶
A̶n̶d̶ r̶i̶g̶h̶t̶ n̶o̶w̶, t̶h̶e̶y̶'r̶e̶ b̶u̶i̶l̶d̶i̶n̶g̶ a̶ c̶o̶f̶f̶i̶n̶ y̶o̶u̶r̶ s̶i̶z̶e̶
M̶a̶m̶a̶, w̶e̶'r̶e̶ a̶l̶l̶ f̶u̶l̶l̶ o̶f̶ l̶i̶e̶s̶
Arriving in the fireplace room, Regulus greeted his parents. No hugs or kisses, of course. Unimportant. Then, he took a seat and waited. The conversation was not his to lead, it never was. Not with his parents, not with Sirius. "Regulus. We have heard your marks are acceptable. I take it that's true?" "Yes, mother." "Good. However, word has it that you have been meeting up with someone that is not identified and you spend multiple hours a day with them. Want to tell me what that all is about?"
Regulus felt his blood freeze in his veins. How would they know? He told everyone he was studying. Alone. No one but Barty and Evan knew that he met up with someone.
He couldn't lie, they'd know and use Veritaserum but also, he couldn't tell the truth, for Merlin knows what they would do to him. However, the punishment would be worse if he lied to them first, so he would just have to try and talk around it.
He cleared his throat nervously. "Ahm, yes. Those are study sessions, I do those because I am very determined about upholding my grades and getting better ones, since I will leave Hogwarts in two years to join the dark lord which i am looking forward to, of course-" he recognised stinging pain in his cheek, as his mother had slapped him. So, he would have it very hard in those two following weeks. That conclusion was the next logical thing, considering Walburga standing in front of him with a raised hand and an angry face, the intensifying red on his cheek and the pain he was feeling.
W̶e̶l̶l̶ m̶o̶t̶h̶e̶r̶, w̶h̶a̶t̶ t̶h̶e̶ w̶a̶r̶ d̶i̶d̶ t̶o̶ m̶y̶ l̶e̶g̶s̶ a̶n̶d̶ t̶o̶ m̶y̶ t̶o̶n̶g̶u̶e̶
Y̶o̶u̶ s̶h̶o̶u̶l̶d̶'v̶e̶ r̶a̶i̶s̶e̶d̶ a̶ b̶a̶b̶y̶ g̶i̶r̶l̶, I̶ s̶h̶o̶u̶l̶d̶'v̶e̶ b̶e̶e̶n̶ a̶ b̶e̶t̶t̶e̶r̶ s̶o̶n̶
I̶f̶ y̶o̶u̶ c̶o̶u̶l̶d̶ c̶o̶d̶d̶l̶e̶ t̶h̶e̶ i̶n̶f̶e̶c̶t̶i̶o̶n̶, t̶h̶e̶y̶ c̶a̶n̶ a̶m̶p̶u̶t̶a̶t̶e̶ a̶t̶ o̶n̶c̶e̶
Y̶o̶u̶ s̶h̶o̶u̶l̶d̶'v̶e̶ b̶e̶e̶n̶, I̶ c̶o̶u̶l̶d̶ h̶a̶v̶e̶ b̶e̶e̶n̶ a̶ b̶e̶t̶t̶e̶r̶ s̶o̶n̶
"I did not ask you what actions you were partaking in" his mother's voice cut through the loud silence, "but who you were meeting. You know, son, bad tongues are whispering it might be a muggleborn. I was hoping to prove them wrong, praying that I have raised my son to be normal and not associate with those dirty mudbloods polluting the magic world."
The burning pain in Regulus' head had become bigger, it felt like a part of his brain was on fire now.
"Yet here you stand, defrauding the most ancient and noble house of Black. It seems as though, you seem to appreciate not having magic a little too much if you are willing to meet up with a muggleborn. So, in order for you to blend in with the blood traitors and thieves of magic even more, your father and I have decided to take your wand away from you until you learn to appreciate magic and difference between those who are worthy of it, and those who are not."
Regulus looked at his mother in shock, who just scoffed and held out her hand. Regulus then took his wand out of his pocket. He felt numb, as though he'd give away a big part of himself. His brain yelled at him to not give his wand away, his only way of communicating with Lily, his only chance of freedom and yet, as he put the wand in his mother's hand and watched her lock it away, he felt nothing but the burning ache in his head.
S̶h̶e̶ s̶a̶i̶d̶,
"Y̶o̶u̶ a̶i̶n̶'t̶ n̶o̶ s̶o̶n̶ o̶f̶ m̶i̶n̶e̶
F̶o̶r̶ w̶h̶a̶t̶ y̶o̶u̶'v̶e̶ d̶o̶n̶e̶, t̶h̶e̶y̶'r̶e̶ g̶o̶n̶n̶a̶ f̶i̶n̶d̶
A̶ p̶l̶a̶c̶e̶ f̶o̶r̶ y̶o̶u̶ a̶n̶d̶ j̶u̶s̶t̶ y̶o̶u̶ m̶i̶n̶d̶ y̶o̶u̶r̶ m̶a̶n̶n̶e̶r̶s̶ w̶h̶e̶n̶ y̶o̶u̶ g̶o̶
A̶n̶d̶ w̶h̶e̶n̶ y̶o̶u̶ g̶o̶, d̶o̶n̶'t̶ r̶e̶t̶u̶r̶n̶ t̶o̶ m̶e̶, m̶y̶ l̶o̶v̶e̶"
The first days were hell. He wasn't able to contact Lily, he felt as though he was about to burst, unable to channel his magic. He also got clumsy, tripping over his own feet, knocking over things. That led to punishments, of course. Long, red scars were visible on his arms, the lightning-like scares that the cruciatus curse left increasing. His back must be full of them now. He started to feel more and more tired and numb, walking around the house like a living corpse.
The burning sensation in his head had by now filled up his whole brain, and it felt as if it was trying to burst out any moment now. Longing to bring chaos.
And then, it was the fourth day "at home", Regulus' life was turned upside down.
They had just eaten dinner, in silence of course, since everything important would be talked about after eating. When they were all done, the moved to the fireplace lounge to do said talking. His mother cleared her throat and said "Now. Regulus, you are old enough to get the dark mark. The ceremony will happen next year, as the Dark Lord only gives marks to those who are 16 or older, yet, we want to prepare you as much as possible so that you will bring honour and pride to the house of Black."
Regulus got even more sick. The dark mark. The one thing he feared, and he was not, in any way, ready to receive it. But, he still had time. He could still think of a plan.
"And, of course, as you will be old enough to join the Dark Lord's ranks, you will have to marry a woman to be able to produce heirs. The Carrows, a honourable family with good ideals and a clean family tree, have a daughter, Alecto. As soon as you have the dark mark, you will marry her. But, of course, since we are fair, you will be able to meet her. Tomorrow. We will have dinner with the Carrows."
T̶h̶a̶t̶'s̶ r̶i̶g̶h̶t̶ M̶a̶m̶a̶, w̶e̶ a̶l̶l̶ g̶o̶ t̶o̶ h̶e̶l̶l̶
M̶a̶m̶a̶, w̶e̶ a̶l̶l̶ g̶o̶ t̶o̶ h̶e̶l̶l̶
I̶t̶'s̶ r̶e̶a̶l̶l̶y̶ q̶u̶i̶t̶e̶ p̶l̶e̶a̶s̶a̶n̶t̶, e̶x̶c̶e̶p̶t̶ f̶o̶r̶ t̶h̶e̶ s̶m̶e̶l̶l̶
M̶a̶m̶a̶, w̶e̶ a̶l̶l̶ g̶o̶ t̶o̶ h̶e̶l̶l̶
A̶n̶d̶ i̶f̶ y̶o̶u̶ w̶o̶u̶l̶d̶ c̶a̶l̶l̶ m̶e̶ a̶ s̶w̶e̶e̶t̶h̶e̶a̶r̶t̶
I̶'d̶ m̶a̶y̶b̶e̶ t̶h̶e̶n̶ s̶i̶n̶g̶ y̶o̶u̶ a̶ s̶o̶n̶g̶
Regulus sat there, dumbfounded. As soon as he was able to build a coherent thought, pictures shot through his brain. Pictures of him getting the dark mark, pictures of him, standing at an altar with a woman he barely knew, more and more and more pictures, until
"NO!" His mother froze. "Don't you dare raise your voice at me. And what do you mean, "no"? You have no say in this. Your father and I-" "My father and you are horrible parents! Your ideals are disgusting and evil, and I will not stand behind you, I will not get the dark mark, and I will not marry someone I do not love! This" he gestured around the house, to his parents, "this ends now! I will not stand and watch as all you disgusting people set the world on fire! I've. Had. ENOUGH!"
And then, he finally listened to the flames. Listened to what they longed for, listened to their words. Finally, he felt the magic curse through his veins again, felt the burning all throughout his body. And so, he let it go. The last thing he saw before things got blurry were the shocked faces of his parents and the room they were all in on fire.
The next thing he knew, Kreacher was sitting beside him, trying to wake him up. "Master, Master Regulus! Oh thank Merlin you are awake, you have to leave, quickly, or you will burn as well! Fast, fast!" Regulus stood up, dazed look and coughed. The smoke in his lungs burnt and everything hurt. As Kreacher continued to drag him out of the house, he collected his thoughts. "No, no! We have to go back, Kreacher, my wand, there's things in my room that I need, Kreacher-" When he looked back at Kreacher, he was met with the sight of the house elf holding a bag out to him. "Extension charm, everything important is in there, now come!"
W̶e̶'r̶e̶ d̶a̶m̶n̶e̶d̶, a̶f̶t̶e̶r̶ a̶l̶l̶
T̶h̶r̶o̶u̶g̶h̶ f̶o̶r̶t̶u̶n̶e̶ a̶n̶d̶ f̶l̶a̶m̶e̶, w̶e̶ f̶a̶l̶l̶
A̶n̶d̶ i̶f̶ y̶o̶u̶ c̶a̶n̶ s̶t̶a̶y̶, t̶h̶e̶n̶ I̶'l̶l̶ s̶h̶o̶w̶ y̶o̶u̶ t̶h̶e̶ w̶a̶y̶
T̶o̶ r̶e̶t̶u̶r̶n̶ f̶r̶o̶m̶ t̶h̶e̶ a̶s̶h̶e̶s̶ y̶o̶u̶ c̶a̶l̶l̶
W̶e̶ a̶l̶l̶ c̶a̶r̶r̶y̶ o̶n̶
W̶h̶e̶n̶ o̶u̶r̶ b̶r̶o̶t̶h̶e̶r̶s̶ i̶n̶ a̶r̶m̶s̶ a̶r̶e̶ g̶o̶n̶e̶
S̶o̶ r̶a̶i̶s̶e̶ y̶o̶u̶r̶ g̶l̶a̶s̶s̶ h̶i̶g̶h̶, f̶o̶r̶ t̶o̶m̶o̶r̶r̶o̶w̶, w̶e̶ d̶i̶e̶
Running, Regulus took one last look at the house that he had spent his entire life in, the house he had learnt how to walk in, how to talk, how to love.
He knew, no one else saw the house burning down, the smoke, the bright flames winding themselves around the house. With teary eyes, he continued to walk backwards, looking at the smoking and burning house of his youth.
Kreacher continued to pull him away, but he failed due to his lack of height, weight and overall muscle, so he did the only logical thing: he apparated. To the only place he knew Regulus would be safe at.
Regulus didn't realise it right then, he was too caught up with the thought of his prison finally burning down, falling apart, with his parent's corpses inside of it.
And, as he finally realised, for him, the world was burning. Because of him. And he noticed; he had no problem with that.
A̶n̶d̶ r̶e̶t̶u̶r̶n̶ f̶r̶o̶m̶ t̶h̶e̶ a̶s̶h̶e̶s̶ y̶o̶u̶ c̶a̶l̶l̶