Angry Too
I̶ b̶u̶r̶i̶e̶d̶ t̶h̶e̶ u̶n̶s̶e̶e̶m̶l̶y̶ u̶r̶g̶e̶s̶
D̶e̶e̶p̶ d̶o̶w̶n̶ i̶n̶ t̶h̶e̶ g̶r̶o̶u̶n̶d̶ w̶i̶t̶h̶ t̶h̶e̶ r̶o̶o̶t̶s̶
"Reggie!" Regulus startled, almost falling off his broom as he heard someone calling his name. He didn't need to look who the voice belonged to, for he knew the voice from his dreams and the real life aswell. James Fleamont Potter. How had he found him? "Don't call me that, Potter. What do you want?"
"Come down here, I don't want to have a conversation whilst screaming."
He rolled his eyes. He really didn't want to, the air and height helped him concentrate, and he would need any focus he could get to be able to talk to James without sounding like a fucking twat. How pathetic.
"How about you come up here? I don't want to, either!" The confidence his voice held suprised him, as he was not feeling very confident.
B̶u̶t̶ i̶t̶'s̶ a̶l̶l̶ c̶o̶m̶i̶n̶g̶ u̶p̶ t̶o̶ t̶h̶e̶ s̶u̶r̶f̶a̶c̶e̶
M̶a̶y̶b̶e̶ i̶t̶'s̶ g̶e̶t̶t̶i̶n̶g̶ r̶e̶a̶d̶y̶ t̶o̶ b̶l̶o̶o̶m̶
Silent cursing, a door opening and closing. Then, he appeared in his view, majestically getting up to the same level as Regulus. His hair was fluffy as always, glasses slightly crooked. He was wearing casual clothing and Merlin it .
Salazar, Regulus should really not forget to breathe so often, James was not worth suffocating for. Or maybe only James was worth it, Merlin, how would he know, shit's confusing.
"What are you doing out here? You know you're not allowed to be, and you don't really seem like the person to...
well, to break the rules I guess. By the way, what did you do now? I haven't seen Sirius that mad in a long time, and he told me he talked to you, so..."
A̶n̶d̶ I̶ d̶o̶n̶'t̶ w̶a̶n̶n̶a̶ b̶e̶ a̶ m̶o̶n̶s̶t̶e̶r̶ i̶n̶ t̶h̶e̶ m̶a̶k̶i̶n̶g̶
I̶ d̶o̶n̶'t̶ w̶a̶n̶n̶a̶ b̶e̶ m̶o̶r̶e̶ b̶i̶t̶t̶e̶r̶ t̶h̶a̶n̶ s̶w̶e̶e̶t̶
Oh. Oh. Oh, really now. Sirius was mad? And of course, it's Regulus' fault. Regulus was definitely not having this.
"Look, Potter. I do not know what exactly is his problem, but it seems like he can't use his braincells, but when could he ever. Yes, we had a conflict, and I know you Gryffindors like to do that, the whole 'Slytherins are bad and the scum of earth' shit, but it's not my fault, even if Sirius might want that."
James frowned. "Look, I know it might be hard to face the truth for you, but you never cared about anyone but yourself. It was always easy for you, since your parents love you, but for Sirius, it wasn't. He was always criticised, they abused him. He was alone in that house, alone and hated. He had it bad, so all I'm asking of you is to not bother him and make it even worse. Okay?"
I̶ d̶o̶n̶'t̶ k̶n̶o̶w̶ h̶o̶w̶ t̶o̶ b̶e̶ j̶u̶s̶t̶ s̶t̶a̶n̶d̶i̶n̶g̶ b̶y̶ b̶l̶a̶n̶k̶l̶y̶
What. The. Fuck. Regulus sat there, on his broom, several meters up in the air, and had to tighten his grip on the broom, for he feared that he might fall off if he didn't. His brain paused, rewinded and tried to understand what the fuck that prat had just said.
N̶o̶t̶ g̶e̶t̶t̶i̶n̶g̶ a̶n̶g̶r̶y̶
"It was easy for me?" His voice was dangerously calm. "Is that what he told you? Easy?! Oh, so my parents loved me? Well that's news for me! Enlighten me, what else do you think happened? No really, what do you think? That I was sung to sleep by them? That they sung me sweet little lullabys with the big bad muggle?
But yeah, of course, I was loved. I was cared for. Sure. Thats the easiest explanation for him, no? For not caring even the slightest bit, right? Not one letter, not one word, but if mother and father loved me in his imagination, he didn't have to feel bad for it.
His childhood was just as bad as mine, I know that and I would never doubt it, but right now, he's being a bad brother. But lying to himself and me... Well, whatever helps him sleep at night I guess."
'C̶a̶u̶s̶e̶ a̶n̶o̶t̶h̶e̶r̶ a̶n̶d̶ a̶n̶o̶t̶h̶e̶r̶ c̶o̶m̶i̶n̶g̶ u̶p̶ o̶u̶t̶ o̶f̶ t̶h̶e̶ g̶u̶t̶t̶e̶r̶ '
T̶i̶l̶ I̶'m̶ d̶r̶o̶w̶n̶i̶n̶g̶ i̶n̶ a̶n̶ o̶c̶e̶a̶n̶ o̶f̶ e̶n̶t̶i̶t̶l̶e̶d̶ m̶o̶t̶h̶e̶r̶f̶u̶c̶k̶e̶r̶s̶
James raised an eyebrow. "Oh, so now you're making up Sirius being the bad guy? Are you for real?! He has been abused his whole life, he has to heal too! You said you didn't want to leave, so he thought you would be fine!
If you think it's not, then do something about it, but leave your brother alone! Stop damaging him even more! He has to worry about enough, some snotty deatheater brother not being wooed by his parents does not have to be one of them! You know how protective he is, stop trying to get him into trouble!
Stop being a burden!"
With those words, he sunk down to the ground, put away the broom and went back to the castle, whilst Regulus was once again trying to process what James, the boy he liked, the boy that held an oh so special place in his heart, who made him feel warm, had just told him.
That he was a burden, that he was the problem. His biggest fear had just become true. Tears started to form in his eyes. Being told he was a burden. The one thing that gave him shivers whenever he thought of it, the one thing he was so sure of being true yet always praying it wasn't. And now, his only hope, the one he thought would maybe understand, had confirmed that he was.
It pained him, but what hurt even more was the choice his heart made. To fall for the most unreachable boy on this forsaken planet.
So, this was him. The heir of the noble and most Ancient house of Black. Gay, fell for a blood traitor, weak and easily hurt.
Dysfunctional.
I̶t̶ w̶o̶u̶l̶d̶ h̶i̶t̶ y̶o̶u̶ l̶i̶k̶e̶ p̶o̶i̶s̶o̶n̶ i̶f̶ y̶o̶u̶ k̶n̶e̶w̶ w̶h̶a̶t̶ I̶ k̶n̶e̶w̶
Y̶o̶u̶ w̶o̶u̶l̶d̶ b̶e̶ a̶n̶g̶r̶y̶ t̶o̶o̶