Boys Will Be Bugs
I̶'m̶ a̶ d̶u̶m̶b̶ t̶e̶e̶n̶ b̶o̶y̶
I̶ e̶a̶t̶ s̶t̶i̶c̶k̶s̶ a̶n̶d̶ r̶o̶c̶k̶s̶ a̶n̶d̶ m̶u̶d̶
Falling. Truly, falling. That's what he was. The floor coming closer and closer, yet being so far away, that he witnessed. The air around him being loud, hitting his face, cooling it.
He felt like a part of it all, the world, the universe, everything. A single, small, meaningless part, falling. Not just physically, but mentally as well. His soul, his standards, all falling.
He knew, when he talked to Potter and he said yes, Regulus would also be burnt off the tapestry, despised, cursed. By the people he had thought to love. But, as he learned in that exact moment, that hadn't been being loved. It was being used. And he was full of it. So so full.
He didn't want that anymore, being told what was wrong and what wasn't. How he had to dress, to speak or even look. He'd had it. So, he made a decision. No matter how hard he would have to convince Potter, he would. He wouldn't go back to that damned house. He would make sure of that.
I̶ d̶o̶n̶'t̶ c̶a̶r̶e̶ a̶b̶o̶u̶t̶ t̶h̶e̶ g̶o̶v̶e̶r̶n̶m̶e̶n̶t̶
A̶n̶d̶ I̶ r̶e̶a̶l̶l̶y̶ n̶e̶e̶d̶ a̶ h̶u̶g̶
Suddenly, he realized where he was and what he was doing. The pitch was dead silent. He started to cast the spell he had learned a few days ago, it was to slow ones fall, and he was pretty good at it. Now, there was only one way to find out if it also worked on himself...
Commanding his broom towards him, he slowed down extremely much in very little time and then landed on his broom. It was still silent. Too silent, in his opinion. So, he pulled the snitch ouf of his sleeve where he had kept it. As he had expected, cheering errupted from the ranks. Loud, brutal, relieved cheering. He looked up, smirking at his brother who was just looking at him in total shock. Ha.
After the game, he started heading directly to the castle using a little secret dirt way, hoping to shower and then talk to Potter. But that wasn't exactly what some others had planned. Barty started running after him. "BLACK! BLACK, ARE YOU OUTTA YER GODDAMN MIND, HA? WHY THE FUCK DID YA DO THIS? IT'S DANGEROUS, YA COULD'VE JUST LOST INSTEAD OF GIVING EVERYONE A HEART ATTACK YOU LITTLE- I MEAN IT WAS A GENIUS MOVE, OF COURSE, YOU'RE BRILLIANT, BUT STILL! YOU DIDN'T EVEN KNOW IF IT WORKED! WHAT IF-"
I̶ f̶e̶e̶l̶ s̶t̶u̶p̶i̶d̶ (s̶t̶u̶p̶i̶d̶)
U̶g̶l̶y̶ (u̶g̶l̶y̶)
P̶r̶e̶t̶e̶n̶d̶ i̶t̶ d̶o̶e̶s̶n̶'t̶ b̶o̶t̶h̶e̶r̶ m̶e̶
I̶'m̶ n̶o̶t̶ v̶e̶r̶y̶ s̶t̶r̶o̶n̶g̶ b̶u̶t̶ I̶'l̶l̶ f̶u̶c̶k̶ y̶o̶u̶ u̶p̶ i̶f̶ y̶o̶u̶'r̶e̶ m̶e̶a̶n̶ t̶o̶ b̶u̶g̶s̶
Suddenly, he was interrupted by a voice that Regulus almost didn't recognize, for it was so long ago when he heard it talking to him last. "REG! WHAT IN THE EVERLOVING FUCK? WHAT WAS THAT?! SOME LITTLE TRICK OF YOURS?! IF THAT WAS A CRY FOR ATTENTION, IT WAS A POOR ONE, BUT PLEASE, HERE YOU HAVE IT! SINCE YOU CAN'T SEEM TO LIVE WITHOUT HAVING EVERYONES ATTENTION! YOU KNOW, I THOUGHT YOU CHANGED, I THOUGHT YOU WERE NORMAL NOW! BUT NO, YOU STILL SEEM TO BE THAT LITTLE BOY IN THAT BIG BAD HOUSE WHERE YOU ONLY SURVIVE WHEN YOU'RE BETTER THAN EVERYONE ELSE, BUT GUESS WHAT? THE REAL WORLD DOESN'T WORK THAT WAY, LITTLE BOY!"
I̶ j̶u̶s̶t̶ t̶u̶r̶n̶e̶d̶ f̶o̶u̶r̶t̶e̶e̶n̶
A̶n̶d̶ I̶ t̶h̶i̶n̶k̶ t̶h̶i̶s̶ y̶e̶a̶r̶ I̶'m̶ g̶o̶n̶n̶a̶ b̶e̶ m̶e̶a̶n̶
Wide eyed, Regulus took a step back. He opened his mouth, wanted to say something, yet he couldn't. His brain was running wild. He thought everything was okay now? Between them? That they were brothers again?
"OH YES, PLEASE, PLAY THE POOR LITTLE BABY AGAIN THAT GETS SCARED OH SO EASILY! BUT THAT'S NOT WHAT YOU ARE, EH? YOU KNOW YOU ARE JUST LIKE THEM!"
"please don't" Regulus finally managed to whisper, but it had no use. Sirius was fuming now.
"Y'KNOW, I HAD TIME TO THINK ABOUT EVERYTHING. AND I'VE COME TO A REALISATION, THAT YOU ARE JUST LIKE THEM! THE APPLE DOESN'T FALL FAR FROM THE TREE. YOU ARE JUST LIKE OUR PARENTS!"
D̶o̶n̶'t̶ m̶e̶s̶s̶ w̶i̶t̶h̶ m̶e̶
I̶'m̶ a̶ b̶i̶g̶ b̶o̶y̶ n̶o̶w̶ a̶n̶d̶ I̶'m̶ v̶e̶r̶y̶ s̶c̶a̶r̶y̶
Barty gasped. Regulus' heart cracked. It didn't make any sound, nor did he. But it broke. Very slow, very painful.
"KNOW WHAT? I DON'T WANT YOU THERE ON CHRISTMAS. DON'T EVEN THINK OF ASKING, REGULUS."
And just like that, It fell apart. His heart fell down, and Sirius' words crushed it entirely. Everything they had lived through together, every little memory. Over. Broke apart.
Sirius was just looking at him, still overflowing with anger, seemingly expecting him to respond, scream back, say anything. But Regulus couldn't. All he could do was to take another step back. And another. And as he turned around, another, and then he started running. Running back to the school, away from Sirius.
I̶ p̶u̶n̶c̶h̶ m̶y̶ w̶a̶l̶l̶s̶, s̶t̶a̶y̶ o̶u̶t̶ a̶t̶ n̶i̶g̶h̶t̶, a̶n̶d̶ I̶ d̶o̶ k̶a̶r̶a̶t̶e̶
D̶o̶n̶'t̶ m̶e̶s̶s̶a̶g̶e̶ m̶e̶ c̶a̶u̶s̶e̶ I̶ w̶o̶n̶'t̶ r̶e̶p̶l̶y̶,
I̶ w̶a̶n̶n̶a̶ m̶a̶k̶e̶ y̶o̶u̶ c̶r̶y̶
Tears started forming in his eyes, though he hoped he wouldn't cry until he was back in his dorm. Why would Sirius do this? What had Regulus done wrong? He couldn't think of anything. He hadn't done anything.
A̶i̶n̶'t̶ t̶h̶a̶t̶ h̶o̶w̶ i̶t̶s̶ s̶'p̶o̶s̶e̶d̶ t̶o̶ b̶e̶?
T̶h̶o̶u̶g̶h̶ i̶t̶ i̶s̶n̶'t̶ m̶e̶
And then, he realised. Sirius was right. The apple didn't fall far from the tree. After all, they had been raised by their parents. The both of them. No matter how much they'd run away, they were their parents' children.
The hard truth was, nothing could change that. About neither of them.
B̶o̶y̶s̶ w̶i̶l̶l̶ b̶e̶ b̶u̶g̶s̶, r̶i̶g̶h̶t̶?