Dear John
“Reg, have you seen my dress robes? They’ll be here soon, and I’m not feeling like a beating tonight.” Sirius called, banging on his brother’s door. It was, rudely, locked, and Sirius was still wandless.
“No. Ask Kreacher and leave me alone.” Regulus’ voice was all thick and gloopy like he’d been crying.
Sirius kept knocking. “I don’t talk to Kreacher if I can help it. Can I come in?”
The lock clicked, and Sirius pushed his way in. Regulus was on his bed, surrounded by several blank pieces of parchment, a ripped envelope, and a platter of orange slices. He was looking very glum.
“I don’t have your dress robes” He muttered, biting into one of the oranges.
“They’re probably on my floor. What’re you doing?”
“Eating.”
“The parents will be bothered if we don’t eat tonight.” Sirius warned.
Regulus rolled his eyes and vanished his orange peel, picking up another one. “I don’t really care. Don’t pretend like you do either.”
“Well you’re grumpy tonight. Are you missing your friend? That would explain the oranges. ” The parchments were obviously a letter.
“Did you come in just to laugh at me?”
“I’m not laughing!” He was a little. Regulus just looked so pitiful.
“Like you don’t mope around eating chocolate every full moon.”
Sirius stopped laughing. How could he have let Regulus guess? Did he see something?
“What’re you talking about?” He snapped.
“You know what I’m talking about. Calm down, I won’t tell anyone.”
“Did Snape tell you? Bloody evil git!”
“No, but I’m not stupid; I’ve known since I started watching you. Lupin should be careful though, Snape comes to the meetings and Voldemort thinks his kind will be useful.”
“He’s a person, Reg.” Sirius growled. This was not at all how he’d thought the night would go. Somehow the universe had managed to make their engagement celebration even worse.
“Obviously. He’s also a wolf. Don’t look at me like that; it’s true. They’re both there and neither one deserves to be punished just for existing.”
What could Sirius say to that? He should have known someone who enjoyed tea with house elves would know about werewolf rights.
“Ok. You won’t tell anyone, good. We should be getting ready; I think we’re supposed to be down to the party by now.” Anything to keep from talking too loudly about that.
“Sirius, you know nothing about this is going to be fun.” Regulus sounded exhausted.
“Of course I know that. Christ, just trying to cheer you up, you seem awfully down.” Sirius couldn’t blame him. He missed his own friends constantly and terribly, and the ten days until term started seemed impossibly long. Even then, would they still be his friends? If he was going to be on Reg’s side at home and be a good heir, he couldn’t very well just pretend home didn’t exist while he was at school anymore. It was all or nothing.
Regulus was staring at him. “I don’t want to be cheered up.”
“Fine, fine. I’ll see you downstairs then if you’re going to be like that.” Sirius snatched an orange slice and headed for the door.
“I don’t want you to cheer me up, and I don’t want you to do this for me.”
“Do what?”
“You shouldn’t be agreeing to all this Sirius. You’ve never been able to hide how you feel, so this certainly can’t last very long. Even if it does, mother and father won’t just forget that you need controlling after you’re married. What happens when you’re supposed to go to meetings? Or produce heirs? And what will you do when your children are on one side of a war and your friends and beliefs on the other? It’s just not possible; you were never right for this.” Regulus said it all very fast. He must have been thinking about it for a while. Had it been worrying him?
Sirius knew deep down that he was right. Whatever he was doing, it certainly wasn’t a permanent solution. He’d known that. He could never stop hating everything his family stood for. But what else could he do?
“It’s my only option Reg.”
“No it’s not! I’m the one that’s stuck, and I’m the one that should be doing all this. I appreciate you being all brotherly, but there’s really no fucking point in us both being miserable.You can get out, like Andromeda did. I never can. You just need to show them how truly terrible you’ll always be at living up to their expectations. Don’t argue with me about this; it’s my turn to help you.”
It was the most passionate Sirius had ever seen his brother. He loved him so much.
“I can’t just leave you here.” He insisted. Regulus was convincing though.
Regulus glared at him. “Well you’re going to. I’ll be fine; I’m meant for this. So you’re going to get properly disowned tonight, or I’m going to tell every person I know that Remus Lupin’s a bloody werewolf.”
Regulus was cunning as shit. He was an amazing, powerful, and secretly sweet Slytherin.
Sirius laughed a little and rubbed his hands over his face. “Christ, why is this year the worst?”
“Because of me. Mother finally realized you’re a terrible influence on me.” Regulus admitted, smiling sadly.
“You’re damn lucky I am. Otherwise your and Kreacher’s personalities would be identical, and Merlin knows we don’t need two of him.”
“That’s my only friend you’re talking about.”
So the sad eating really had been for a reason. Sirius hated the world.
“Anyway. I trust you know how to behave terribly at a social event?” Regulus asked, digging in his floor hole and throwing a black bundle at Sirius.
Sirius caught it and smirked. “It’s my only talent.”