End of the Parade
September was certainly taking it’s fucking time in coming. Regulus was suddenly busy with ‘obligations’, most likely just babysitting that dreadful Nott girl, and Sirius was feeling pitiful with how much he missed their time together. Not that Sirius didn’t have obligations of his own, oh no, he certainly hadn’t been given up on simply because Regulus found a bride first.
It was all robe fittings, family history tutoring, extra etiquette lessons (usually taught by damn Narcissa, which made Sirius regularly grateful that all of his closer cousins were already married), and extremely dull evenings during which he was somehow supposed to impress people. Recently, his parents had taken a shine to a Greengrass girl, and she’d so far been the first of his suitors to visit more than once.
Sirius was trying to be relieved that he was finally doing something right, and hopefully taking some of the attention off of Regulus, but everything he was doing went against pretty much all of his instincts, and he wasn’t sure how much longer he could be vaguely polite.
The girl, Sirius was about 80% sure her name was Silvia, was definitely a bit older than him, although his mother had given him a good gouge on his cheek for asking how much. He’d hoped that maybe that meant that Silvia had also been having a hard time impressing other stuffy Purebloods, and maybe she’d be decent, but that certainly wasn’t the case.
She was haughty, and dull, and a complete nightmare really. She spouted off blood purity nonsense nearly as much as Sirius’ mother, and was even more of a fanatic when it came to class. Besides being a bigoted idiot, she was also whiny, and, in her own words, delicate, even though Sirius could see a power and cruelty in her eyes that he’d only ever seen in his mother and Bellatrix.
All in all, Sirius completely despised her, and had small bouts of panic every single day at the thought of spending the rest of his life with her. His parents had been in much better moods with his and Regulus’ prospects looking up though, and while Sirius still usually needed a bit of glamouring, he was at least feeling well enough to keep his father out of his mind for a while.
His wand hadn’t been returned yet, but he was being regularly fed and Regulus’ letters still weren’t being checked.
Sirius knew that it was all up to him, to keep this new, somewhat peaceful balance from shattering and to let things stay okay. But nothing about it all was really okay at all, and he couldn’t last much longer without breaking.
Then, after only five suppers of Sirius gripping his silverware as tight as possible (and not at all thinking about putting his knife into Silvia’s eyes) it was official. Sirius Black would be marrying Silvia Greengrass as soon as he turned seventeen. He didn’t even have a full two years left before his life, or anything he actually enjoyed about his life, would be over. He would be expected to be a proper heir, to have a proper family, and almost certainly to join an army that he desperately wanted to fight against.
And what was it all for? Regulus would still be trapped, almost as much as he was. Nothing was making any difference and Sirius was failing himself and everything he believed in. But, at the same time, how could he possibly leave Regulus to deal with it all alone? How could he ever fight on a different side?
With only two weeks left until September, but every day feeling like ten, Sirius had finally given in. All the fighting against his family, all of the trying to be different, had been pointless. Was this just what happened to every member of his family? Were they all eventually simply stuck, whether by family loyalty, or a lifetime of hateful doctrines drilled into them? Sirius lay awake most nights, realizing that he was very possibly feeling sorry for the very people that were forcing him into a life he hated, and that he was truly becoming one of them, and he cried until his eyes were dry.
Prongs,
I’ve said I’ll marry Silvia Greengrass once I’m of age. Don’t hate me, yeah? I’m really trying to do what’s right. Tell Moony and Wormtail for me? Thanks.
P.S Reg has to marry a Nott, so life could be worse.
-Padfoot.
Pads,
I’d never hate you. But really?? I know you want to be there for Regulus, but he’s picked his side, and we need you on ours. Being home isn’t good for you mate. Get through the summer, and we’ll figure this out once we’re back at school. Please just don’t do anything you’ll really regret yet. This is your entire future we’re talking about, and I think you deserve some bloody time to think it over. Write if you need anything, please. I’ll see you soon.
P.S Congrats to Reg. Why can’t your parents just be content with one set of inbred grandchildren?
Yours (even if you’re married),
-Prongs.
Padfoot,
Congratulations! I think? Is she nice? Or pretty? Even if it’s not ideal for you, I’m sure marriage must be mostly alright, no matter who it is. At least you’re not like James, and haven’t been set on one girl since you were ELEVEN. That would make it harder I guess. Can’t wait for school.
-Peter
Sirius,
I hope you’re okay. If this is what you want, I’m happy for you. If it’s not, we’ll help you find a way out of it. You’re a good brother and a good person. I doubt Regulus is very happy with the situation, so work together if you can. I’m not sure how cooperative you need to be, but I look forward to seeing you at school, even if you can’t hang around with us as much anymore.
Love,
-Remus