"Destruction of dealing with myself"
It was dark and cold, and they had been walking for hours upon hours. They were in all probability lost, but they found that they didn’t care. The deed was done, so to speak, and they were left with nothing. “Repairer of Reputations”, indeed.
Nobody they knew lived in this part of the massive city, which was a small mercy in the face of what they had experienced. They couldn’t muster the courage to face those they knew, people with hypothetically stronger minds that would sneer down at them for caving almost as soon as they read that cursed play. But, what was done was done; they had to live with the burden of their curiosity, and the knowledge that any remaining innocence was gone.
They briefly considered bothering the one person they knew wouldn’t judge them, but bailed out. They had warned them not to read the cursed play, and they did it anyway. Better not. Better to deal with the inevitable insanity that it unfalteringly brings alone. They did this to themselves, having disregarded all warnings.