Pansy Parkinson never actually had a lot of friends. She has Draco and Blaise of course. But other than them maybe because of her attitude or because she’s a lesbian she never had anyone else. That can be the cause of why exactly she’s standing in front of her dorm room because yes she can’t go anywhere else. When Harry Potter snuck into Draco’s room, she immediately woke up. They were kinda…loud. So for that reason, she decided to look for someone she can sleep at. But soon she realised she hasn’t got anyone else except for the boys. Sometimes she had a talk with Potter, but only if there weren’t any other Gryffindors in the room. Potter’s friends always seemed annoying and judgemental so she never even tried to have a talk with them, even though she’s not a bad company to be honest. Yet she still hasn’t got anybody. She’s lonely in her own way.
“You can come over to the Gryffindor dorm whenever you want, since you’re one of Draco’s closest friends” She suddenly remembered what Potter had said to her. And it was not a bad idea after all. She could go to the Gryffindor dorm and ask help from someone who is friends with Harry. She didn’t hesitate anymore so she got up from the couch holding her plush teddy bear and her pillow close. She felt cold as her bare feet touched the cold floor and she shivered as she stepped out of the heated Slytherin dorm to the extremely cold basement. Still without a slipper or a robe she started her way to the Gryffindor dorm. It wasn’t a short road but it wasn’t that long either. When she got there she muttered the password. The picture opened and she carefully stepped in. She thought everyone would be sleeping but at one desk the lamp was turned on. She became nervous immediately.
“Shit shit shit it was a terrible idea Pansy you jerk. How the hell will I explain this?” She cursed and tried to get out very quickly but it was already too late. The someone who was sitting at the desk now got up because they probably heard her. So the Gryffindor turned the light off so the fireplace became the only light source.
“Who’s there?” The person who was actually revealed to be a girl asked as she started getting closer to Pansy with her wand out.
“Ermm. Just…me?” Pansy joked as she stepped out of the dark. But the girl didn’t find it that funny according to that she still didn’t let her wand down and she was still coming closer to Pansy. The girl finally reached the Slytherin and in that moment everything became clear.
“Pansy Parkinson??? What are you, a Slytherin doing here?” Granger asked as she put her wand away.
“Visiting….you?” Pansy panicked and this was the only answer in her head that seemed kind of reasonable in this situation.
“Me?” Hermione asked back, surprised “I think with that mind of yours you could have come up with a better answer” Pansy’s jaw dropped. Granger called her a liar as soon as she said a word, even though it was really a lie but from that it still hurt. Now this is the perfect example why she isn’t friends with Gryffindors and why she doesn’t even try anymore. “So tell me Parkinson. What’s the real reason behind the fact that you are not asleep?”
“I should ask the same Granger” Pansy hissed, still trying to avoid responding.
“Touché,” Herms said. “But it’s kinda obvious that I’ve been learning. So the real question is what have YOU been doing?”
“I can’t sleep. And I haven’t got any friends except for three boys of which two are fucking next to my room and the third is probably in a fancy party where I haven’t been invited to.”
“This still doesn’t explain why you are HERE” Hermione stated but Pansy only reacted with an eye roll.
“Potter said I could come here whenever I want. See? Your bestie dating mine comes with several benefits. And to be honest this place is hella cozy. It feels sooo good”
“I’ll kill Harry when he comes back” Hermione muttered.
“Cool yourself down Granger I know you all disliked me but wanna hear something? I don’t give a fuck. This world can hurt me but it’s better not to care about all the shit. You should try it too” Pansy patted the wordless Hermione’s shoulder. “So where will I be able to sleep?” Pansy asked as she walked to the couch to check how comfortable it is to sleep on.
“Fine,” Hermione said while chewing on her lips. “You can sleep with me. As I see that’s what you want to hear” Hermione told her as she followed Pansy to the couch.
“Really? Thank you! You’re so kind it melts my heart!” Pansy cheered sarcastically. It was Granger’s turn to react with an eye roll.
“Now come on Parkinson I’m quite tired,” Said Hermione, and she grabbed Pansy’s arm to pull her to the bedroom. And she only let go of the Slytherin girl when she started following her on her own.
“My honor Princess” Pansy winked as she followed Hermione to one of the rooms.
“That will be your side and that’s mine. And don’t act like some kind of clown. Just sleep.” Hermione said and she was quickly in the bed waiting for Pansy to crawl next to her too.
“I’ll try my best not to act, as usual, thank you for reminding me how mean Gryffindors really are. And I got the rest you’ve said, thanks” Pansy said and she tried not to let her guard down now. She didn’t have the nerve to face Granger so she turned to face the window.
“I’m sorry” Hermione suddenly said when the silence mixed with tense became unbearable.
“No prob. I get it a lot even if it doesn’t seem that way” Pansy sighed. “I admit sometimes I can be a little too much. I grew up with Draco. What did you expect? I’m sarcastic and silly and I don’t really know how to care for people who are important to me. Sometimes I hurt them unintentionally and I can do anything to make it right. I can't seem to succeed. And I think you probably could easily list a thousand other adjectives which suit me perfectly. But this is me. And I can’t and won’t ever change for others willing” Pansy finally finished. Her little speech was followed by silence again.
“I’m told as a bookworm and a know-it-all. I always learn and I always know everything so it’s kinda valid, but still…People often say mean things behind my back or simply say it straight to my face. People also say they don’t understand how I got into Gryffindor and of course, I’m a Mudblood after all which doesn’t help the situation that much” Hermione said bitterly. As long as she remembers she never talked about this to anyone. Expect Pansy of course. And to Hermione’s surprise, Pansy didn’t say anything sarcastic. Instead, she turned to face her and placed a hand on her cheek.
“Don’t ever talk down yourself Darling” there was something in the way Pansy spelled out Darling. It was smooth and honest. And it melted Hermione’s heart and also made it start beating faster and faster. What’s happening to her? No way she has a crush on Pansy although the Slytherin girl is probably the prettiest person she has ever seen.
“I’ll try” She answered when she finally found her voice.
“No. Seriously if you ever need someone to talk to… I don’t know if you want to, I'm here” Pansy muttered which made the Gryffindor girl smile.
“Thanks, I’ll keep that in mind Sweetheart” it came out a little differently than Hermione thought it would. It was dark so she couldn’t really tell but it seemed like Pansy blushed. And Hermione couldn’t deny that she blushed too.
While Hermione was thinking about the blush stuff Pansy was trying not to get dizzy from the sweet scent of Granger and not to interpret too much into this whole chat thing. It’s just a girl talk nothing more.
They’ve been laying like this next to each other for quite a long when Pansy decided she will ask what she wanted for the past time.
“Herms”
“Hmm?” The tired answer came from the other girl.
“Can I cuddle with you please?”
“Are you really asking this or am I just hallucinating?” Hermione asked in disbelief.
“Oh shut up it’s a simple yes or no question”
“Fine. Come here” Hermione finally answered and that was enough for Pansy to slide next to the Gryffindor girl. It felt good to both of them. Even if Pansy’s feet were almost like ice bars. Hermione after a little hesitation placed her arm under Pansy’s back and hugged her closer. Pansy was surprised at first but not like she didn’t like it so she got comfortable very easily in Hermione’s arms. She was still holding her special teddy bear close to her though. “Why do you have a teddy?” The Gryffindor girl questioned.
“It’s extremely important to me, I got it from Draco when I came out to him. He was the first to know about who I really am.”
“And who you really are?” Granger asked in confusion.
“You didn’t know yet? I’m a freaking lesbian” Pansy whispered. Her confession was followed by a long silence between them. “Mione?”
“For god’s sake,” Hermione said and she turned around to face Pansy. Pansy was expecting Hermione to be angry or disappointed or something like that. But no. She was blushing and also had a very serious expression on her face. “I’m sorry it must have been hard on you”
“It’s nothing special, just my family’s hate towards me. I can live with that”
“Do you want to talk about it?” Asked Hermione while she stroked Pansy’s arm.
“No,” She whispered. It was a sensitive topic and she doesn’t like to talk about it that much. She doesn’t live it the same way as Draco. But then she let her guard down with a sigh. “They usually hurt me, you know? Beat me up in the hallways. But Draco and Blaise are the best friends I could ever ask for. They’re always there to protect me when I can no longer defend myself.”
“I’m so sorry you had to go through that. Does anyone know about this, perhaps Professor McGonagall?”
“God no. Never. You know I’m just a girl. In my family’s eyes I’m capable of doing two things: marry a wealthy Pure-blood man and give birth to children. I don’t value anything more than that. And because I’m a lesbian I can’t do any of that. So now in my family’s eyes, I’m nothing but a disappointment. So I’ll never risk my left-over pride to tell any of this to some professor” The Slytherin girl said.
“Pansy,” Hermione said softly.
“Sorry for this I didn’t mean to pour this all on your shoulders now.”
“Pansy! You are worth more than anyone else in this world, I want you to know that”
“Thank you. You can’t even imagine how good this feels. Finally, tell all this shit to someone and hear that in response. You’re a good company Babes”
“Fuck it,” Granger said all of a sudden and she kissed Pansy. The kiss was hot and passionate. Pansy kissed back immediately and she couldn't get fed up with the sweet taste of the other girl. They were kissing. Making the kiss more emotional and more passionate from time to time. When they pulled back Pansy looked at Hermione in fear.
“What was that?!” She asked angrily.
“I-I don’t know” Hermione stuttered.
“Go to hell Granger!” Pansy yelled as she crawled out of the bed and ran out of the room straight to the bathroom. She was frightened. Frightened from her own feelings. What she has just felt. Her heart was beating so fast she thought she might die.
“Pansy?” Hermione asked in a gentle tone as she knocked on the door.
“Go away Mudblood! I told everything to you and yet you still do this to me! I won’t ever be a stupid toy of yours!” She cried. But Granger didn’t go away. Instead, she went into the bathroom, hugged Pansy, and held her close. Let her cry about all the shit.
“I’m sorry Pansy. I don’t understand my actions. I just.”
“It’s okay, I think I’ve broken a lot of girls’ hearts. It was only a matter of time before I got my own heart broken. You’re not a lesbian as it turned out. I should have suspected that but you know…” Pansy said whip her eyes were still watering.
“Hey! Maybe I am a lesbian. That would explain why I didn’t feel a thing when Ron kissed me. But other than that I don’t really understand your problem”
“Then I will tell you very quickly. I don’t know what you are, but I know that I don’t want to be a toy you play with. If you want to be with me then you have to take all the things which come with me, you know that?”
“Okay then, we should try. Perhaps let’s start with a date.” Granger said as she placed a light kiss on the Slytherin girl’s cheek.”
“You want to do that even though I’m a Slytherin and I act silly and sarcastic and even if my parents hate me? And you can’t have children with me and your bully is my best friend and and…”
“Pansy. Darling, slow down. You get to very serious conclusions too fast. I kissed you hell knows why. But I didn’t say I haven’t liked it”
“You liked it?”
“Yes. And in fact, I like this side of you. And I am willing to take the danger if I can be with you. If I can feel what I felt in the bedroom.” Hermione confessed.
“Bullshit. If you feel that way you should’ve realized it much earlier, not just from a little chat in the bedroom” Pansy told her.
“It’s you talking? You hated me all the time and now you suddenly act as you’ve always loved me!” Hermione shot back.
“I’ve never said you’re not attractive or something. Indeed you are hot as hell. But I don’t want you to use me for some fucking toy. If you want to try it I want us to do it the best way we can.” Pansy said seriously.
“Deal!”
“I don’t think I’m ready to love you in the dark but people will stare. And gossip.”
“You don’t have to love me between the four walls. You can kiss me. I can kiss you. Hug you. I want to do that. And if people talk? Let them.” Hermione kissed Pansy again, and Pansy kissed back happily.
“Now shall we go back to sleep? Tomorrow is Friday we should go out to Hogsmeade if you want but then we should go to bed now. Unless you want to look like shit, which I don’t want” Pansy suggested the other girl nodded and they went back to sleep. Tangled in each other but they still slept well.
***
The next morning when Hermione woke up Pansy wasn’t there. At first, she was angry and shocked and felt like she'd been tricked. But then she noticed the little paper letter on the pillow.
„Hey, Herms, Hope you slept well. I thought it’s better if I went back to the Slytherin dorm to change clothes and to have a proper shower etc. But we can meet in the hall to have breakfast and I think we will have a class together too. Then we can go to Hogsmeade as we planned yesterday. Have a great day Darling!
PS.: If you tell anyone that I write letters in the mornings you’ll be dead very soon long before you could see me naked :)
PS2.: Your loss ;)”
Hermione laughed and smiled when she reached the end of the letter. She would never even play with the thought of how sweet Pansy Parkinson can be but she really can’t complain because this was far the sweetest thing someone ever did to her. She folded the letter and put it in the drawer carefully. She had a shower, dressed up, and put a little blushing powder and eyelash mascara on. Then she started her way to the hall. But to her surprise, someone was waiting for her in front of the dorm.
“Hello, Beautiful! Have you had a good sleep?” Pansy hopped next to her.
“Hey!” Herms smiled at the black-haired girl. “Yes. Oh, and I like your hair.” She complimented while Pansy placed a kiss on her hand.
“I had a little extra time in the morning so I cut my bangs. They were disturbing me” Pansy said, still smiling. They interlocked their hands and continued their way to the hall to eat breakfast. And they didn’t notice Draco’s and Harry’s staring from the end of the corridor. But it wasn’t that important because the two boys were just as happy for them as the two girls were.