People are immpressionable, be careful
Tuesday, January 21st, 1992
"Alex?"
Alex paused. She had been walking down the hallway to the library after class, planning to study, when the voice of eleven year old Lavender Brown stopped her.
Alex looked over at Lavender who had walked up to her. The blonde seemed nervous, but desperate to talk.
"Alex, can I speak to you? Alone?"
"Um, sure." Alex walked a couple feet down the hallway to an empty classroom, Lavender behind her. The two entered and Lavender took a seat at a desk, so Alex sat next to her.
"So, what is it, Lavender?" The two teens weren't exactly friends, but they also knew each other well because of United, so Alex wasn't entirely sure how to behave.
"It's just....The past few weeks....Is being queer bad?" Lavender struggled to communicate.
Alex felt her eyes widen. "No, it's absolutely not bad! Why would you think that? Did someone tell you it was?"
"....No....But, you don't seem very happy. If I....If I transition will I also be sad? I don't wanna be sad."
"Oh, Lav. I'm not sad because I'm trans. I'm sad because....I've been having....Mental health problems...."
"Is that bad? To be mentally ill?" Lavender was still incredibly nervous.
"No. It's not bad."
"Than why do you seem so embarrassed about it?"
Alex sighed. "Mental health is a taboo. That means that society has made it seem like discussing mental health and going to therapy and all that is bad. Because of that, people don't like to discuss it. They find it improper, or embarrassing. I know there's nothing wrong with it, but....It can still be hard to talk about. Especially because it means admitting I'm not perfect."
"But, no one is perfect?"
"They're not, but....I have a lot of pressure put on me. I feel like I have to be perfect so that I can help others. And that I don't deserve to struggle mentally because I otherwise have a great life. That's not actually how mental illness works, but....That doesn't mean my brain doesn't try and convince me it is."
"Oh. So....So, I can transition, I can be a boy?" Lavender confirmed.
"If you want."
"Really? Because, I was unsure....I mean, I'm so feminine...."
"That doesn't matter. You can wear all the dresses, all the makeup you want, you can like fashion and teen magazines, and still be a boy. Your gender isn't determined by how you look or act."
"I think....I think I want to be a boy. But, I'm not sure."
"That's okay. You don't have to know yet. Everyone is constantly learning new things about themselves, there isn't an age limit on knowing your gender."
Lavender smiled, then frowned. "Do I have to tell the group. United."
"Absolutely not. You choose who and when you tell. And that choice can be no one ever if you want it to be, by the way."
"I think I want to tell some people, eventually. I just don't know when."
"And that's okay too." Alex comforted.
"Can you maybe....I mean....Nevermind, it's dumb...."
"It is most definitely not dumb."
"You don't even know what it is yet."
"Yes, but I know it's not dumb. Come on, what is it? If you feel comfortable sharing, at least."
"I was just wondering...." Lavender paused. "Would you mind using He/Him pronouns and other masculine stuff for me when we're alone?"
"Of course I will. Is it still Lavender, or?"
"Yeah. I like my birth name, I want to keep it. At least for now."
"Sounds splendid."
"Thanks Alex. For everything."
"Of course, you're welcome."
"You're just so wise. I'm kind of jealous."
"Oh?"
"Yeah. It's like....You always know what to say and do."
"That's not true. I mean, it may look that way, but I don't really always know. No one does."
"Maybe that's true. But, you're good at pretending, better than me. Anyway, thanks."
"Like I said, you're welcome. It's no problem at all."
"Thanks." Lavender said a last time before exiting the classroom.
Alex sighed once she was alone. That was...a conversation. Lavender was boy? At least, he thought he was. And apparently he had picked up on her mood. She felt bad he had thought be queer was bad, especially since he was currently figuring himself out.
She hadn't intended him to feel that way. She hadn't intended for anyone to realize how she was feeling at all. But, they had. At least, Lavender had. Maybe she needed to get better at controlling her emotions around others. Or maybe, she needed to get better at being more open about how she was feeling.
Alex sighed again. Adolescence was a lot harder than she had ever imagined. But, it was worth it.
Well, mostly.