The mirror of Erised
Sunday, January 19th, 1992
Alex looked forward into the mirror standing in front of her. Alex knew how mirrors worked, but this mirror didn't seem to understand the concept itself.
Instead of showing her actual appearance, the mirror reflected a different version of Alex. Older, post-puberty, looking very...womanly.
Alex didn't look too different except for the effects of estrogen, but there was a few smaller things. Softer features that she didn't even have now, pre-puberty, a confident gracefulness, a look in her eyes that screamed 'I know who I am, and I am who I am'.
Alex wanted to be that girl...that woman....Oh, she wanted to be her so bad, but....Would she ever get to be?
What if she wasn't approved for estrogen? What if it didn't work? What if she came out looking like a...a...man?
And that was without going into the personality. There was no guarantee that Alex was ever going to be that confident or knowledgeable or graceful....She really didn't think she ever would be....
But, maybe....Maybe she would....Maybe the mirror showed who she would become....
Or maybe it showed the opposite? Or something random? Or maybe it just showed her what she wanted to see?
There was no way of knowing, not until she was older at least....Alex wanted to know....But, also she didn't....
Because what if she didn't end up like that, or even similar? What if her fears weren't unfounded? What if she was a...man?
Alex didn't want to be a man! Alex wasn't a man! Unless...but, no!
Alex turned from the mirror, just to realize tears were streaking down her face. She couldn't make them stop. Wasn't entirely sure she wanted to.
Alex wasn't a man!