bargaining
2 months before.
What if?
Draco thought about this question every day and especially of late. What if, in the void of 3 months, he had said something to her? Would it have been enough to stop her from getting engaged to Weasley?
What if he had made more of an effort after Hogwarts? Become an active advocate for the light? Would she have noticed, would she have approached him, even befriended him?
This line of questioning always led to the beginning of the end – his decisions, the decisions forced onto a child, were still his. As a result, the consequences had caught up to him, most of which he anticipated, but some which presented themselves so blindingly that he could only drown in the weight of it all.
Draco wondered if his repentance meant anything to anyone, if it even meant anything to him now. There were two months until the Granger-Weasley wedding, and all he could do was look on as the days started to blur into one another.
His dreams consisted entirely of her, but his nightmares were enough to have him reaching for the nearest bottle of Firewhiskey.
In his dreams, Hermione stood there before him, an ethereal vision in white.
In his nightmares, he begged. He pleaded and reasoned with Merlin himself, all for a second chance. An opportunity to start anew, to exist in a world where it would be possible to be with her. Each time he woke, the same thought crossed his mind like a melody stuck on repeat.
Could it be just enough for him to strike a deal with the universe?
Could he be so selfish, undoubtedly destroying someone's happiness because a symbol on his skin confirmed what he knew deep down to be true?
Draco didn’t see red anymore. Instead, he floated on hues of grey.
Grey was not black or white.
Grey was a chance. Grey was possibility, murky, yes, but existing all the same.