lose yourself to me

Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
M/M
G
lose yourself to me
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Chapter 32

“Hello?” Regulus yawned the word, his voice sounding still full of sleep. He was curled up on the couch, last night's clothes still on. He had managed to answer his ringing phone with his eyes closed, awkwardly pressing it to his ear. 

“Did I wake you up?” James questioned, his voice sounding as warm, and quiet. 

“Yes,” Regulus mumbled, his face twisting into the cushion more. “What do you want?”

“You were a morning person yesterday,” he informed him.

“Different circumstances.”

“Arousing circumstances,” his boyfriend snorted. Regulus finally opened his eyes, his first movement of the day becoming an eye roll. “You’re mean.”

“What?” 

“Rolling your eyes at my amazing comedic genius,” James snapped, his tone light. 

“How did you know that?” Regulus scoffed, his voice still rather groggy. 

James laughed down the phone. “Because I know you, Reggie.”

He was joking, but the words made Regulus feel warm, unable to contain himself as he grinned to himself, his heart suddenly soaring. “What are you calling for, then?” 

“Can’t a chap just call, and chat with his boyfriend?” James quietly sang.

“Not this early.”

“It’s almost 2,” James informed him. He held back a sigh. Lily was probably still asleep, but he didn’t move to check. He slowly stretched, his back cracking as he went. “What’s got you so tired, anyway? Have a hot date last night?”

Regulus almost laughed. “Yes, actually. Your girlfriend arrived.”

James made a snorting noise. “Ex-girlfriend.”

“Mhm, her,” he confirmed. He slowly sat up, twisting as he went. It was raining outside. “She’s even in my bed.”

“I’m so jealous,” James murmured. 

Regulus laughed this time, finally pushing himself off the couch. “Don’t be. I slept on the couch.”

“So?” James questioned. “I’m just jealous because your bed is so comfortable. If you were there it would simply be a bonus.”

“Are you just dating me for my comfortable mattress?” He shuffled towards the kitchen, pulling open his fridge. He stared at the contents. He needed to shop. Desperately. “I’m offended.”

“I’m sure you are.”

He could hear his bedroom door open down the hall, the quiet yawning of Lily Evans as she padded towards the kitchen. “Anything else?”

“I like the view there,” James offered up.

“Hogsmeade?”

“You,” he flirted. Regulus blushed as Lily arrived into the room, beaming at him as she waved a silent hello. “I can’t see you today,” James finally told him. “But you’re coming tomorrow, yes?”

“If you make me,” Regulus mumbled. Lily slipped past him, unaware of the conversation occurring on the phone. She stared into the fridge from behind him as James made a choking sound on the other side of the phone. 

“You’re something else, Reggie,” James mumbled back, his voice low. 

“Yes, busy,” he informed him. “Must be going.”

“Leaving me with words like that? Some guys would call you a tease.”

“Well, I’m not talking to them, so don’t worry. Bye James,” Regulus smiled as he said his name.

“Bye Regulus,” James replied the phone call ending.

“Was that your loverboy?” Lily asked, her tone teasing as she reached over him, shutting his fridge. 

Regulus ducked his head, pocketing his phone. “Yes,” he mumbled, shaking his head. “I’m sorry, I have no food in my flat.”

“We’ll have to go shopping,” she shrugged. “I need a few bits too.”

“Okay,” Regulus nodded, smiling. 

They ended up both shuffling around the closest supermarket, Regulus pushing around a small trolley for them. Lily collected whatever he pointed out, and her own stuff. She picked up a lot of healthy food, while Regulus opted for simple foods that he could make for one. He watched as Lily hummed as she walked, eyeing the different shelves with wonder. He shuffled behind her, smiling at the observations she made. 

She hugged him outside the shop, promising to see him at the party, dancing away with her shopping bags. Regulus took his own bags home, unpacking them when he got home. He had time to make a slow lunch, enjoying it in front of the tv before he got up to get ready. 

He ended up in jeans and a jumper, his hair in the final stages of drying as he left his flat, his phone in his pocket. Barty had already texted him, questioning if they could meet up earlier considering he was bored. He said they could get early dinner, and he would pay, which had gotten Regulus out of his place much quicker. 

They ended up in the pub down the road, Barty waiting for him in a small two-person booth with a good view of the vintage rugby game playing on the TV. Barty seemed engrossed, not moving his eyes from the screen as Regulus slipped into the booth across from him, eyebrows raising in anticipation for a try. 

“Hello?” Regulus crossed his arms, staring at his friend.

“I think I could play rugby,” Barty informed him, dragging his eyes away from the screen. 

Regulus stared at his scrawny friend, attempting to hold back a laugh. “Uhm, you could?” 

“I could,” Barty nodded. “Roast?”

“Yeah, go on,” Regulus nodded, his friend getting up to walk to the counter. Regulus twisted his hands as he waited, absently watching the screen. 

His friend returned a minute later, two pints in his hands. “Okay, ordered, drinks here, spill it.”

“Spill it?” Regulus questioned, taking the pint Barty slid across the table to him.

Barty rolled his eyes, taking a long gulp of his drink. “I’m serious. I want details. As your only friend, I deserve to know.”

“I have more friends than just you,” Regulus rolled his eyes. 

“Like who?”

“Pandora,” he shrugged. 

“Oh, I forgot to order Pandora food,” Barty suddenly jumped, pushing himself out of the booth again. 

“She’s not here?” Regulus called after him as his other friend appeared, dancing around the corner. 

Pandora was in a dress and had her hair tied up, exposing her bright smile as she passed Barty at the bar. “Roast, please, Crouchy.” She slipped into the seat he had occupied, waiting for Barty to return. “Regulus! Hi!” 

“Hello,” Regulus smiled, easily. “I didn’t know you were coming.”

“Fresh off the train,” she shrugged off her coat. “How was Christmas?”

“He was just about to tell all!” Barty announced, back with a pink gin and tonic for Pandora. He sat beside her, swapping their drinks around so he could take another gulp of his. “Tell all, Black!” 

Regulus didn’t know Pandora as well as Barty, but he decided he trusted her enough to tell her this. It was happy news. You’re meant to share happy news with your friends. 

“It was good,” he nodded, taking a long sip of his drink. “Snowed.”

“I love snow,” Pandora nodded. 

“Same,” Regulus agreed, smiling. “It’s lovely weather. Very Christmassy, y’know?”

Barty groaned, dragging a hand down his face. “Fucking hell, I didn’t ask the weather. Are you sleeping together yet, or what?” Regulus shrugged as casually as he could, Barty immediately making a squealing noise. “Oh my god!” 

“Sleeping with your brother's friend?” Pandora questioned. 

Regulus rolled his eyes. “Yes, him.”

“He’s cute,” she approved, nodding quickly.

“He’s taken.”

His friends’ both rose their eyebrows, exchanging approving glances at him. “By you?” Barty questioned. Regulus nodded, smiling slightly at the fact.

It felt good to say. James Potter, a boy who glowed like the sun, and managed to light up every room he ever entered, had chosen Regulus. He had told him that things felt right with him. That he loved him. Regulus wasn’t sure it would last forever, but christ, it would feel brilliant until it ended. 

“You’re smiling,” Pandora cooed. “That’s so cute. I didn’t even know you liked him!”

“Liked him?” Barty snorted, shaking his head. “Christ, Pans, he’s been infatuated for years!” 

“I didn’t tell you that,” Regulus frowned at his friend. 

“You didn’t have to,” he shrugged. “How did Big Black take it?”

Regulus shrugged back. “He hasn’t yet.”

“You haven’t told your brother?” Pandora gasped, shaking her head. “Have you seen him?”

“No, but I will tomorrow,” he took another sip of his drink. “There’s a party at theirs. You guys should come.”

“I’m going,” Barty shrugged. “Your brother already invited me.”

“You saw him?”

“Yeah, in the shops the other day. I said I’d go, bring Panda along.”

“Oh, I’m going?” She inquired, eyebrows raising. “You didn’t pass along that invitation.”

“Well, I am now,” he rolled his eyes. “So, we’ll be there for all the drama.”

“There won’t be drama. We’ll tell him when we’re ready, and neither of you will say a word. Barty, I’m serious.” Regulus shot his friend a glance. 

Barty flashed him a sincere smile. “I’m not gonna burst your happiness bubble, Regulus. I’m simply going to make sure I see Pandora do some ridiculous dancing.”

“I’m not doing that,” she snapped. “He tried to get me dancing at a party a few weeks ago, Regulus, it was terrible. Promise me, if you see him even nearing me… tackle him, promise me?”

“Promise,” Regulus grinned, feeling at ease. 

Conversation swept on, Pandora detailing her Christmas, Barty detailing his, and Regulus detailing his stay at the Potter’s. They all ate, and continued drinking long into the night, gossiping about students in their year, and ridiculous plays on the tv near them. They stumbled out of the pub when it was late, the boys walking Pandora home before Barty walked Regulus home, falling fast asleep on his usual spot on the couch before Regulus could even say goodnight. 

Regulus considered calling James before getting into bed, but decided against it. His nerves were beginning to kick in as his mind overran with thoughts, scenarios beginning to form in his mind. But the alcohol rocked him to sleep before he could scare himself too much. 

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