Chapter 23
There were three loud knocks on the bedroom door, enough to stir Regulus into opening his eyes. He was still lying in James’ arms as the door slowly opened, the voice of James’ mother drifting in. “James, love, we’re going to have to leave soon, it’s awfully late in the morning, but I wanted to-“ She paused, and Regulus awkwardly blinked as she stared at him, lying in her son's bed. “You’re busy! Oh, gosh, I’m sorry!”
James sprang up, his brain obviously kickstarting as he dragged his arm out from under Regulus, attempting to leap to his feet. He ended up falling out of his bed, his body slapping onto the floor. He loudly groaned as Regulus sat up, watching Mrs Potter shake her head. “I should have knocked!”
“It’s not like that!” Regulus quickly said, panic rising in his throat.
“You should have knocked, yes!” James said at the same time, his voice sounding groggy.
“We’re going to London!” She pleasantly changed the subject, looking directly at her son who still sat on the floor. Regulus couldn’t bring himself to look at him. “We’re just packing up the car, wanted to make sure you didn’t want to come!”
“We’re spending the day in the village,” James told her. “Just bring back some macarons.”
“We will,” she nodded, offering a small smile. “Regulus, darling, do you want us to pick up anything for you?”
“I’m fine, thank you, Effy,” he said, quietly.
She nodded, looking between them for a second before smiling. “Well, we’ll be back tomorrow. Call if there’s an emergency.” She stepped back out of the room, shutting the door behind her.
Regulus remained frozen, the bedsheets around his waist, his t-shirt feeling too tight even though it was baggy. He had slept with James. Sure, not in that way, but still. He’d slept beside him, in his arms, for an entire night. He blinked a few times as he looked at the sheets. James watched him, although Regulus didn’t notice. He was overthinking every breath he’d taken for the entire night, wondering if there was something different between them now, wondering what he could say to fix this possible problem.
“Are you okay?” James finally asked. Regulus looked over at him, eyes wide as if just remembering James was really there. He nodded slowly in response, looking back at the bedsheets while James rose to his feet. “I’m going to take a shower,” James informed him, striding across the room, disappearing behind the bathroom door.
Regulus awkwardly shuffled out of the room, wandering into his own room. His phone was abandoned on the locker beside his bed, presumably dead by now. He ignored it, walking into his own bathroom, stepping into the shower before the water even had a chance to warm up.
When he stepped out, a few minutes later, he found himself unable to look at himself. He towel-dried his hair, wandering back into his room with his towel around his waist. He pulled one of his knitted jumpers from the wardrobe, along with his black jeans, putting them on once he was fully dried. He didn’t bother picking up his phone. It could stay dead, in his opinion.
“Reggie?” James called from the other side of his bedroom door.
“Yeah?” Regulus called back.
“Are you sure you’re okay?”
Regulus stumbled over to the door, pulling it open. James’ hair was damp, like his own, but his eyes were bright, and his head tilted to the side like a curious puppy. Regulus’ heart momentarily stuttered before he nodded, offering up a weak smile. “Did you say we were going into the village today?”
“If you can manage the short walk, we can have breakfast in the cafe,” James offered, and Regulus nodded, deciding that slipping into normalcy would be easier. “Are you ready?”
“Yeah,” he shut his bedroom door.
James didn’t talk much on the walk, occasionally typing messages on his phone as they went. Regulus didn’t mind the silence, attempting to think of anything but the night before. The route they’d taken in the opposite direction a few days before was rather nice to walk. It was cold but relatively sunny, and there was fresh holly on most of the banks they walked past.
“This is the cafe,” James announced, once they arrived outside the small storefront. There were Christmas decorations in the window, and it was unreasonably warm inside when they stepped in. James greeted the woman behind the counter with a grin, and a question of how her family was before leading Regulus to a table in the back, smiling and greeting the people he walked past.
“You’re unreasonably popular in this place,” Regulus said, sitting across from his friend.
James shrugged. “You live in the tourist attraction, you get to know people. It’s different in London.”
“It’s different if you’re a Black, you mean,” Regulus murmured, plucking the napkin from the centre of the table. “What do you suggest?”
“French toast,” James said, not even glancing in the direction of the menu. Regulus nodded, shutting the menu. James ordered them the same thing for both of them, when the waitress arrived, along with their coffees. She knew him, too, smiling at him brightly as she jotted down the order. She left just as quickly, leaving them alone again. James’ phone list up with a message every few minutes, but he didn’t glance at it, watching Regulus instead.
“Don’t you have to get that?” He questioned, the silence stifling.
“It’s just Remus. He’s giving me a rundown of drama that happened with the people in the flat next door, it can wait,” he shrugged.
“Right,” Regulus nodded, twisting his hands in his lap. “Sorry about last night.. The crying, and sleeping on you and.. whatever. Sorry.”
James shook his head. “You don’t have to apologise, Reggie. I’ve always said I’m here for you.”
“You have,” he confirmed, ducking his head slightly. “I hate crying in front of people.”
“Sometimes it’s good to cry.”
“You sound like a bad self-help book, James,” Regulus told him, meeting his eyes. His ray of sunshine simply grinned at him, lighting up the entire room. “So, there’s a bookshop here?”
James nodded, instantly diving into a discussion about how lovely the shop down the road was, and how they’d have to go to the toy shop, just to look. There was a sweetshop, too, but it was hidden down the ally behind the toy shop. He called it a hidden gem. When the food arrived, they both ate slowly, as James described more exciting stuff from his town. “There this phone box, near the ponds down the road, and everyone in town had their first kiss there, I swear.”
“Did you?” Regulus questioned, cutting through a piece of bread.
“No, no,” he shook his head. “Felt sort of weird knowing everyone in the village, y’know. Always thought I’d bring someone back, though. Complete the tradition, I suppose.” He stopped for a second, shaking his head. “That sounds stupid.”
“It doesn’t,” Regulus assured him. “It’s cute… Not cute, but like, it’s nice. To keep up a tradition like that. Like a village bucket list,” he covered his words.
“A village bucket list!” James pointed his fork at Regulus. “We should make a village bucket list!”
“Should we?”
“Yes, give me your napkin!” James shoved his hand into his coat pocket, which was hanging on the back of his chair, searching for the pen which he retrieved as Regulus slid the napkin across the table. “Okay, bookshop, sweetshop, Bailey’s! She’s the baker. Oh, and the ponds. Have to go there! The town hall is usually closed, but it’s still nice to walk past… There’s a field which is nice, to walk past, or around.. What else is here?”
Regulus shrugged, helplessly, unable to remember his brother mentioning anywhere after his first trip to the Potter’s. He’d basically described the entire village to Regulus, but it was fuzzy now. He couldn’t remember the specifics. “There’s a nice bench, I suppose…” James jotted his ideas down, hand moving quickly. Regulus watched as he cut into his last slice of toast. “Okay, we’ll hit books first, then the sweet shop, then Baileys, and then see if we can fit more in, but we might fit the rest in a different day, I’m kind of tired.”
“Sorry,” Regulus hedged.
James ignored him, folding the napkin. He slid it into his jeans pocket, returning to eating. Regulus moved onto his coffee while James finished, holding his cup with both hands. It was chilly outside, and customers coming in and out left the door open, making the cafe colder than needed. The coffee warmed him up, though, releasing some tension from his shoulders.
James ended up paying, although Regulus did offer, several times. He pulled his jacket around him tightly when they arrived back onto the street. James didn’t even seem to feel the cold as he took off towards the bookshop, leading the way for Regulus who shuffled behind him on the cobblestones. The village felt very historic, all the stone seeming to match. Regulus found himself tipping his head to the skies, staring at the buildings they passed. He was still staring at one of the buildings when he realised James was stopped, staring at him. He looked away from the building quickly, meeting James’ eye.
“You live in a postcard,” Regulus informed him.
James gave him an amused smile, shaking his head slightly. “Anything could be a postcard, Reggie.”
“You know what I mean,” Regulus defended, looking back at the buildings. He hadn’t even realised they were outside the bookshop. “Is this it?”
“This is it!” James nodded, gesturing towards a small shop which was accented blue. James stepped forwards, pushing open the door, holding it for Regulus, who stepped through the threshold. The whole place smelled like old books, and the inside shelves were full of vintage hardbacks was probably where the welcoming aroma came from. The girl behind the desk sat with a book in her lap and didn’t look up as they walked past the register, the door gently shutting behind them.
James passed Regulus, making his way to the end of the shop. Regulus followed him, aimlessly, looking at the shelves as they went by. James stopped in front of the fiction section, squinting. “I have to get Remus something.”
“I thought you guys did Christmas the other week,” Regulus inwardly cringed to himself for bringing it up. “Did you not do gifts then?”
“Got sidetracked,” James murmured, not looking away from the shelf. “Lucky, in a way, because I had everyone else’s present and nothing for him. He’s hard to buy for sometimes!”
“He likes chocolate,” Regulus shrugged. Sirius had told him snippets about his mystery boy in the early days. It had been on one of their rare phone calls, which Regulus was sure James forced him to make. He’d gushed about Remus, adding small details about how he read books, loved mugs of tea, smelled like cinnamon, and apparently had a habit of eating chocolate while reading books, and drinking tea, and not noticing anyone else in the world. Regulus wondered if anyone ever noticed things like that about him. If someone knew his coffee order, the books he liked to read, and the jumper he wore when he was sad. Had anyone ever gushed over Regulus Black? The thought knocked the air out of him.
James stood up a bit straighter, looking at him. He frowned ever so slightly. “You look like you’re thinking something grim.”
Regulus ducked his head, looking away. “You should get him a murder mystery.”
“What are you thinking about?” He questioned, persisting. Regulus looked at him, hesitating. But he knew, deep down, James would never laugh at him. No matter how ridiculous he sounded.
“Just how nice it is to know the little things about someone…” he led off. James looked genuinely surprised at the answer, his eyebrows raising slightly as the younger continued. “I don’t know Remus that well, y’know. Like, I know him, but not like you, or the others. I only know he likes chocolate because Sirius told me once, and I just think it’s nice.. Knowing the small details about someone like that, it’s sweet.”
James seemed to consider this, staring at Regulus as he did, his eyes softening. “Yeah, I suppose it is.” They stared at each other for a few more moments before James turned back to the shelf, letting Regulus collect his thoughts. His heart was beating faster than it usually was.
He stepped away after another few moments of staring at the back of James’ head, making his way to the biographies section. He let his eyes travel over a few titles, not really taking anything in. The faces of celebrities stared back at him, but he didn’t move away, attempting to look busy.
“Would he like this?” James held up a random book, which Regulus nodded his head at. He didn’t even take note of the title, looking back at the shelf. He shuffled back into the fiction section, his eyes travelling over the romance books. He ignored them too, looking at James.
“Do they have any Donna Tartt?” Regulus questioned. He could ask the girl at the front, but he wasn’t that bothered. James scanned the shelf for him, apparently able to concentrate better than Regulus. He stepped forward, pulling a book out, handing it to Regulus.
“This?” He questioned. Regulus looked at the copy of The Secret History which James was handing him. It was black and sleek, and Regulus already had a copy at home, but his was battered and annotated. He took it, carefully, flipping the book over to reread a blurb he’d read 100 times before.
“Perfect,” he nodded, murmuring to himself.
James watched him, almost studying him. “Is it good?”
“The best,” Regulus told him. “You should get a copy.”
James shook his head. “I’ll just borrow yours.”
“I write in mine,” Regulus informed him.
“Even better,” James shrugged. “We can pick up some chocolate for Remus in the sweetshop, and then get doughnuts in Baileys.”
Regulus nodded, following James up to the counter. The girl was still reading her book when they arrived at the counter, not lifting her head as James dropped his book in front of her. He waited a moment before clearing his throat, forcing her to look up, shockingly not startling at the interruption. “Sorry. Do you need a bag?” She began punching the register.
“Please. I’ll take that, too,” James gestured over his shoulder to the book Regulus held.
“I can pay for it,” Regulus instantly stepped forward, shaking his head.
James rolled his eyes, his hand dipping into his pocket to pull his wallet out. “I know you can, Reggie.”
The girl eyed them bother, her gaze lingering on Regulus, who awkwardly looked away. She took the money from James, handing him however much change he was owed before picking her book up again, pushing a paper bag towards him with her free hand. “Thanks for coming.”
“Thanks,” James muttered, dropping his book into the bag, turning to take Regulus’ too. Regulus held the door open for him, immediately grimacing at the cold weather again. “She was cheery,” James informed him once the door shut.
“Christmas spirit,” he shrugged back.
“Sweetshop,” James said, turning to start walking again.
Their trip to the sweetshop was short. Regulus snuck away from James when he was in an aisle of chocolate bars to buy two large bags of pick’n’mix, for each of them. He ignored the exasperated sigh James gave when he found out about the purchase. James bought Remus three chocolate bars, claiming he couldn’t choose, but Regulus had a sneaking suspicion that the cookies and cream one was really for himself.
By the time they arrived at Baileys, which smelled lovely, and was warmer than any other shop they’d been to, and collected their box of doughnuts, and a box of cookies, Regulus felt slightly exhausted. Although they’d been doing things for the past few days, it hadn’t been much. The walking around had drained Regulus a bit. He was counting himself lucky that James took charge of the bags.
“We’ll complete the bucket list the next time,” James offered when they stepped out of Bailey’s. Regulus had been stifling a yawn, dropping his hand as if James was going to accuse him of something. “We can have our doughnuts, watch Elf.”
“Is that the Christmas one?” Regulus questioned.
“Christ, have you really never seen any films ever?” James gawked.
Regulus shrugged, shoving his hands deep into his jacket pockets. “I have a busy life.”
James shook his head, stepping away from the bakery. “Right, home?”
“Home,” Regulus nodded, feeling warmer just by saying the word. James smiled at him, easily, nodding back before he began taking his steps slowly.
Regulus walked beside him on the way home, which somehow felt shorter as James filled their silence with a film rant about how Regulus needed to see more stuff. He questioned Regulus on whether he owned a single DVD, or if he’d ever been to a cinema, and what his desert island films would be if he had to choose. Regulus laughed along with him, answering his ridiculous questions with ridiculous answers. He didn’t own any DVDs because the internet existed, and he’d been to the cinema twice, both times on awkward first dates with girls he’d had to let down easy only a few days later. He didn’t know what he’d take to a desert island, though. He claimed a bottle of fresh water would probably be his main priority, which put James in a huff until they reached the front door, and all of James’ fake annoyance washed away, replaced with a grin as he opened the door for them both.
The countdown to Christmas was officially on when they arrived home, or at least James claimed it was, dumping the doughnut box on the coffee table in the living room, putting Elf on the TV. “It’ll snow tonight,” he informed Regulus, through a bite of food.
“How do you know?” Regulus questioned, ever the sceptic.
“I just know,” James shrugged.
They ended up eating the entire box of doughnuts for dinner, James claiming to be too tired to make it to the kitchen, and Regulus too tired to object. Regulus watched Elf with interest, trying to stop himself from leaning forward as the film appeared to reach its dramatic ending. He was even going to ask if there was a sequel when James’ head fell onto his shoulder, just like it had on the train.
Regulus looked down at him, the angle hurting his neck slightly to attempt. He looked much younger asleep, the freckles on his nose seeming to meld into his skin tone more, his eyelashes seeming longer. Regulus could stare at him all day. But his neck hurt, so he didn’t. He leaned back, relaxing slightly, letting his own eyes close, and the leftover exhaustion from the night before leave his body.