apologies
Fuck.
Sirius wished he could say he forgot Remus was under the influence of truth potion. That he'd never meant to force his friend to tell him anything, it was an honest mistake. But he had known what he was doing. He had been curious, excited even, to hear the response. To have a piece of Remus that the others didn't. He hadn't expected Remus to say... Well, anyway. It didn't matter. Sirius had gotten over his initial shock, and he didn't think any differently of his friend, so that's what he would tell him.
He swallowed and picked himself off of the tile floor, looking into the bathroom mirror. He tried to picture Remus in the reflection. Long, gangly limbs, thin adept finders, a scar just across the bridge of his nose, sandy curls that had grown out enough to fall into his amber eyes... Sirius would often find himself getting lost in those eyes. They had been shining a little more than normal when Remus had walked out. Merlin, He really needed to apologize. What for, was a little unclear.
For forcing him out, For not reassuring him when you did, for not doing anything at all, Said the little voice in the back of his mind. He knew it was right.
Sirius fancied himself a good gryffindor, then, stepping out of the door.
He softly padded over to Remus' bed- the other boy was still awake, there was wand light peeking through the bed curtains- He had told the other lads to go to bed, that he would sort things out with Remus. Now, he was beginning to question that decision. He took a breath.
"Moony?"
There was a moment of silence before he spoke.
"Yes?"
Sirius gently pulled back the curtain surrounding the bed, and he was met with a slightly startled looking face, before Remus rearranged his features into an expression of cold indifference that reminded him, alarmingly, of his little brother.
"Look, I'm sorry." Sirius managed. Remus averted his gaze, as if it was physically paining him to maintain eye contact.
"Okay, Padfoot. But-" Sirius felt panic bubble up in his chest, No, no, let me talk.
"Wait! Just listen, alright? I know what I did was fucked up, I... I knew you were on the veritaserum and I still... Ugh," Sirius ran his hands down his face, struggling to articulate everything that he wanted to say. "I'm really, really sorry for what I did. I should never have forced anything out of you, especially when I knew you didn't want to talk about it. You could Obliviate me, but the fact is, Remus, Remu, my Moonbeam..." Sirius grinned. "Nothing you said tonight changes anything between us. Really. And I know the others would feel the same way. Should you choose to tell them, of course."
Remus let out a loud groan, leaning over his crossed legs so his face landed roughly in the blankets in front of him.
"Uh.." Sirius chuckled nervously, "Moons?"
Remus lifted his head to look at him, then sat up fully.
"Thank you." His face was so sincere Sirius thought his heart might explode.
He moved to wrap his arms around the boy- simply to avoid heart explosion, obviously- and found himself pleasantly surprised when lanky arms were wrapped around his torso with equal ferocity. He hadn't thought Remus would even accept the hug, much less reciprocate, he was never big on physical affection, but the taller boy had responded instantly, clutching the material of Sirius' shirt and leaning down to rest his chin on his shoulder. Sirius closed his eyes, trying to memorize the feeling of holding Remus Lupin. They stayed like that for a while, until Remus lifted his head.
"Thank you."
"Don't be daft. I didn't do anything. Thank you, Remus. I'm proud of you. What I did wasn't... It wasn't right. I'm proud of you for being okay." Sirius paused, "...You're okay?"
Remus let out a watery laugh. "I'm okay."
~ ~ ~