Is this the end?
To say you are furious would be an understatement. Speeding through the streets, you can’t focus properly on driving. You should’t be driving at all but you have to go somewhere. Home isn’t an option, this place is full of Emily. Her jacket, the flowers she gifted you a few days ago, everything reminds you of her.
After ten minutes you stopped your car. This is the place you come to, when you don’t know where else to go. There is a single bench surrounded by trees at the top of a hill. It’s peaceful, this is the place you could really be alone. Sometimes there are people walking their dog, but other than that, there never was someone else.
You wanted to show this spot to her because it was your favourite. Now you’re grateful that you never had the opportunity to. Staring down at the hill, you let the tears flow. You don’t know how to move on from all of this. Emily wasn’t just a silly little love, she was so much more. And on top of that you have to see her at work every fucking day. You don't know how to go from there
You don’t even realise how long you were sitting on that bench, your phone was dead in your car. There’s a light driving towards you but you were too deep in your thoughts to notice. The hug from someone startled you. You didn’t even acknowledge that a car stopped right behind you, to be specific JJ’s car.
„Thank god you are okay. You scared the living shit out of me do you know that?“. JJ’s voice was trembling with worry. You looked at her with a confused expression, because you don’t understand what got her so worried.
She seemed to notice that. „Emily told me you weren’t in the right mindset to drive and then I couldn’t call you, so Garcia tracked your phone and I found you here on a hill looking down crying“. And then you understand what she means. Her sister killed herself when JJ was a kid, she even found her of course she thinks of the worst.
„No JJ it wasn’t like that I promise“ you feel JJ relax as she sits down beside you. „I go to this place when I’m sad or stressed. Here’s nothing but silence to really think about the things bothering you. I want to find a solution that includes me living okay?“
JJ shot you a relieved smile „What are you going to do?“.
Well that’s a hard question. To be honest you still want Emily even if she hurt you like hell. But that’s the crazy thing about love isn’t it? You can’t just decide to stop loving her because she was an asshole. It doesn’t work like that.
„I don’t know“ you answered her honest. „We’ll find out. Together", she said grabbing your hand. She leads you back to her car opening the passenger door.
„Don’t even think about it“ she threatens you as she sees you looking over to your car. She’s probably right, you still aren’t in the right mindset to drive. You feel like sleeping for two days straight. The day was messed up.
JJ drove to your house and walked you to the door. „Call me if you need anything okay?“. „Will do“ you answered her smiling. You don’t have the energy to shower or brush your teeth, as you lay down sleep consumed you in less than a minute.
As you wake up on the next day, you feel your head pounding from all the crying the night before. Hopefully the day won’t be too stressful. You get dressed and walked to your car. And then you remembered. Yeah right the car which was standing on top of a mountain a few miles away. But before you even had the time to curse you see JJ pulling into your driveway.
You get into the car greeting her good morning. „I thought you probably need a ride to the BAU“ she said yawning. „Didn’t sleep much huh?“ You said laughing. Groaning she smacked your arm playfully and started to drive to the BAU.
There already was something going on because Derek comes running to the two of you. „Grab your bags, wheels up in 10 minutes“. „Where to?“, you asked him confused. „A case baby lets go“, he answered smirking.
Well your not so stressful day was not starting good. On the jet you sit next to JJ while Emily sits behind you next to Reid. She tries her best to ignore you, as if this would make things easier. Well it doesn’t but you had a job to do so you were thankful that you don’t to talk directly to her.In all of these months you managed to keep the things between you two a secret and that shouldn’t change know.
Hotch updated you on everything you missed about the case. It was a killer murdering 4 women until now. The profile says he’s mid 40 in a normal job. He was probably fired a few weeks prior, which send him into a deep spiral. Now he kills innocent people who have the „perfect“ job he lost.
Hoch split you up, and of course you have to go with Emily to a suspects house. JJ and Derek will go to the families to find some more evidence while Rossi, Reid and Hotch go to the local police station. You and Emily got into the car, and of course she was driving. She loves driving, sometimes that’s all you were doing on a Friday night after a stressful case. This is her escape from all the shit going on around her.
The drive to the house was silent, but before you could step out of the car she stopped you. „Can we talk please? I mean after the case“ she begged you. With a sigh you nodded and stepped out of the car. The two of you walked to the door of the suspect. Knocking on the door you hear Emily’s phone ringing, you eyed into her phone to see who was calling. And of course it was Mike.
„Go on, take the call. I can start talking to him alone, come back after you finished“. She nodded and walked a few steps away, answering the phone. A middle aged man opened the door looking weird at you. „FBI, can I ask you a few questions?“ You asked friendly.
You didn’t get an answer he just stepped away from the door, so you got in. If you wouldn’t be too distracted you probably would have noticed that he has his left hand behind his back probably holding a weapon and that he seems extremely nervous. You would have come to the conclusion that he is your killer, now knowing that we have him.
If you would have listend closely in the jet, you would have heard Garcia telling you that he was in jail as a teenager having deep trauma from it. He would do everything to not go back, so you have to be careful. If he feels cornered he would shoot his way out. But you didn’t. You didn’t observe your surroundings as you should and you didn’t listen closely in the jet.
Turning around you wanted to explain why you’re here but before you could talk you feel unbearable pain. Just pain. You can hear a knocking on the door that’s becoming more urgent. And then more pain. He stabbed you again.
You try to find something to hold onto, the pain is too much for you to stand. You don’t recognise your surroundings anymore. Everything was blurred. As you fall to the ground you her Emily frantically screaming your name.
„Y/N stay with me please the ambulance is on the way“ she begged you. She desperately tried to stop the bleeding coming out of two massive stab wounds on your belly. You try to speak, you want to tell her that it’s okay. You wan’t to tell her that you love her and you understand that she doesn’t feel the same but that’s okay. You can’t choose who you love.
You want to tell her that you don’t want to fight anymore, breathing becomes way too hard. You’re tired, you want to sleep. She was begging you to stay awake but you can’t.
The last thing you see through your blurred vision is Emily shaking your head crying. You can’t even hear her voice anymore. You want to hear her voice one last time before... You couldn't finish that thought before everything goes black...