But It's Golden

Mary stared down her pen and looked at her pages on pages of parchment. She had written more than she had intended, but once she started, she couldn’t stop. When she had been writing it, and it all felt like it was happening. Sirius was right. There was no way she could keep this to herself. She picked up her tea and started reading over the letter she had written

“Dear Harry, 

I’m glad to hear that you want the stories. However, I have to be honest. I don’t know how entertaining my recap of the first three years of school will be. But it didn’t feel right to leave them out. Your father's friend group and your mother's friend group didn’t really merge together until the end of our fourth year. To be quite frank, we didn’t entirely get along the first three years. I thought about not including them in my letters to you, but looking back through my old journals, I couldn’t stop smiling. Hopefully my retellings can do the same for you. But I ask that you keep in mind that we were 11 during the time of this letter. So please, try not to judge too harshly at our foolishness. 

I met your mother, Lily, on the Hogwarts express. I was a muggle born and I was overwhelmed and confused and still not entirely sure if it all was a dream. I sat in a compartment, clutching my book bag for dear life. She walked into my cart looking just as frazzled as I was. For the first time, seeing someone who is clearly feeling so much anxiety, made me feel calm. I could tell by her clothes that she was like me and not from a Wizarding family. Thinking back, it’s funny. This beautiful, young girl with fiery hair stumbled into my compartment, and I didn’t realize how important she was going to be to me…

September 1971 —

“Could I sit with you?" The young girl had asked. Her green eyes were wide, and Mary could tell she was terrified that she was going to tell her no. 

“Please. I don’t really know anyone here. I'm Mary. Mary McDonald.” She said kindly, as the fiery headed girl sat down across from her. She stretched her hand out in front of her and the girl took it.

“I’m Lily Evans. Are you a first year, too?" Lily asked, taking a hair tie off of her wrist to wrap her hair into a low ponytail.

Mary nodded as her grip on her book bag relaxed. The two girls chatted on the way to Hogwarts, talking about how strange it was to get their letters.

“To my parents, magic only existed in fairytales. But my mom said she knew. Not for sure, but she knew that something was special about me from when I was little." Lily confided, a small smile gracing her lips.

“My grandmother was a witch. She said she knew it from the minute she saw me. Neither of my parents were magical. But I never knew much of them." Mary explained. Lily could see that mentioning her parents in such a way hadn’t made her visibly upset. 

“Do you live with your grandmother?” Lily questioned, to which Mary nodded. Before the conversation carried on, the trolley came around with sweets. Through more conversation, and multiple chocolate frogs, the girls arrived at Hogwarts. They got on a boat together and proceeded to the sorting ceremony. Lily clapped the loudest while sitting at the Gryffindor table when Mary was sorted with her. By the time the girls got up to the dorms, there were two girls already inside, starting to unpack their bags.

“Lilith and Mary, right? I’m Marlene." A blonde girl said. Her hair came down to her shoulder blades and had some shaggy layers in it. She wore a pair of loose black trousers and a fitted white shirt. Her shoes were slipped off revealing to mix-match socks; one purple, one yellow. 

“Yeah, I'm Lily. This is Mary. Do we just take whichever bed?" Lily asked, looking around the room. There was a four-poster bed on each wall and there was a closet and a bathroom attached to their room.

“Mmhm. I’m Zara.” The girl across the room said. She was wearing purple dungarees and a black T-shirt that fared well against her brown skin. Lily placed her bag on the bed across from Marlene's. Mary chose the bed on the wall with the door, across from Zara's.

The girls started talking and getting to know each other. The atmosphere was warm. All the girls had had their concerns about their first year. But looking around the room, as they all unpacked their suitcases and assured the other girls that they would have to borrow their clothes sometime, things already felt natural. By the time they started getting ready for bed, each girl could confidently say that they would start their first day of classes with three new friends.

—

Two compartments over from 2 new friends, a group of boys began to form. Peter Pettigrew, a heavier set boy with short blonde hair, and James Potter, a lean boy with untainted curls, were childhood friends and both already had the unspoken notion that they would sit together on the Hogwarts express. A couple minutes later, a boy with long, and undeniably spectacular, hair stood at their compartment door.

“Room for one more?" He asked.

“Sure, mate. I’m James Potter and this is Peter Pettigrew." James said, removing his feet from the bench in front of him.

He saw the boy hesitate for a moment, however the look in his eyes was gone before James could even register it was there. “I’m Sirius. Sirius Black." He said as he sat down. Sirius knew of the Potters since they were a part of the sacred 28. He swallowed dryly, assuming James would know of his family.

“Like… of the pure blood Blacks?” Peter asked in a hesitant voice as he shot a quick glance to James.

“Yeah. Unfortunately. Don’t worry, we aren’t all bloody mental." He said, a grin gracing his lips that was anything but evil. Peter gave James one more unsure look, but James looked over the boy. And that’s all he was. Just a boy that had entered into their compartment.

“You care about Quidditch?” James asked tipping his head. 

“Ugh!” Sirius sighed melodramatically, slamming his right hand against his chest. “A man of my own heart.” And the boys started discussing how the last season ended. Before the conversation got too intense, James saw a lanky blonde fellow glancing down both ends of the train. 

“Oi! There’s room in here if you’d like.” Sirius said, beating James to it. The boy turned around to look at them through the glass on the door. He had a scar tracing the right side of his jaw and had freckles littering the bridge of his nose. 

“Thanks. I’m Remus. Lupin.” He said, closing the compartment door behind him as he entered. He took a seat down next to Sirius.

“Lupin? Latin translation for wolf. Cool. I’m Peter Pettigrew." Peter said, pulling out his money as the trolly made its way down the aisle. James saw a similar flash of panic move swiftly in and out of Remus’s eyes as he did in Sirius’s. He couldn’t think of any families with the last name Lupin, but it didn’t seem like a good topic.

James moved on quickly, “Pete’s got this thing for name meetings. Always reads too much into it. I’m James. This is Sirius. Welcome to our kingdom. Well, our kingdom for the next hour until we get the Hogwarts.”

Remus situated himself and the four boys entertained themselves until they got to the boats. After sorting, James called it “Godric’s Good Will” that they were all dorm mates. Remus was the quietest of the bunch, and it wasn’t exactly discrete. So, James, Sirius, and Peter, in true nature, decided that this semester's goal was to make a Remus Lupin their absolute best friend.

—

Since all four of the girls were first years. They all had the same schedule. Since it was a Thursday, they would only have history of magic, transfiguration, and defense against the dark arts. Their first day was mainly introductions into the courses, but Marlene could already tell that she was going to be bored out of her mind in history of magic. After dinner, the girls made their way back to the common room.

“James!” Marlene said, walking up to a lounging James Potter. 

“Marlene! I tried to catch you after the sorting, but everything was so hectic. Look at us, true Gryffindor us." He said shoving some quills into his book bag.

“Oh, this is Mary, Zara, and Lily. They are my dorm mates." Mary said just string to the girls respectively. “I heard you’re sharing with the Black that got sorted into Gryffindor. How’s that?" Marlene asked, lowering her voice a bit. 

“I’d like to have you know that Sirius Black, in the 24 hours that I have known him, has become my very best friend. Pete and I get on with him quite well." James said, his voice playful. But something in his eyes have Marlene an ‘all good’ kind of look. 

“Our other mate though, Lupin, it’s taking a little longer to warm up to us. Can you believe that we come off initially as obnoxious? I just got a break him down into one of us." James said, gathering his things and moving towards the boys' dorms. 

“And I thought our friendship was moving fast.” Mary said with a smirk in a hushed voice to the girls. 

“Mock tryouts for the Gryffindor Quidditch team or tomorrow during break. Joining me to watch, McKinnon?" James asked before he turned up the stairs.

“Absolutely." Mary turned back to the girls. “Wanna join?" And Zara was the only head to nod in agreement.

Neither Lily nor Mary were quite sure what Quidditch was, so they answered politely with, “Maybe another time".

Over the next couple weeks, Zara in Marlene with spend their brakes watching the Quidditch pitch. Mary and Lily put it together that Marlene went because she enjoyed watching the game. They figured that Zara went because she liked watching James watch the game.

Most days on their breaks, Mary and Lily would split up. But the days that they were just sit in the common room and talk. It always felt natural. It was good to have someone there that understood what it was like to come from knowing nothing about this world to being thrown into the center of it.

Eventually, Mary started going along with Marlene and Zara, even on the days they didn’t go to the Quidditch pitch. Lily never minded it being alone. She actually quite liked it. It gave her time to rest with her thoughts. And frankly, she thought Quidditch was boring.

Some days she would meet up with Severus to hang out. After being sorted into different houses, she hadn’t seen as much as him as she would’ve liked. Severus had been her best friend for years, so she thought introducing him to her dorm mates would’ve gone a little bit better. It didn’t go bad. It was just… stiff. When Lily had asked the girls about it later, Mary had told her, “He doesn’t seem like the social type. I’m sure he’s great, but I don’t think he wanted to meet us very much.”

Lily didn’t know what to say. It didn’t seem right to apologize to them, but it wasn’t justified for her to defend him either. She just nodded and was thankful when Marlene started a conversation about their assignment and transfiguration.

On the days when she wasn’t with the girls or Snape, she spent her break in the library. She had found the perfect table; it was natural light, seclusion, and privacy with the shelves. Any time she went to the library, that was her table. She smiled to herself, relishing in the fact that she had found the perfect table, and everyone else was looking over it.

Well, not everyone.

At the beginning of October, Lily walked up to her table, preoccupied with sorting through the textbooks in her hand, that she didn’t notice someone was at her table until she had already set her things down. She found a lanky blonde boy hunched over a defense against the dark arts textbook.

“Oh. I’m sorry. I didn’t– well I didn’t see you, but I wasn’t really looking.” Lily said as the boy looked up to her. “You've discovered my table.” She said finally. 

“Your table?” He asked with no trace of harshness in his tone. 

“Yup. It’s the best table in the library and I come here almost daily and nobody else has ever been here. Congratulations. But we may have to draw up a shared custody agreement.” She said with a small smile. 

“I 'otta tell you, I’m not the biggest fan of paperwork. However, if you just want to study quietly, I can always make room." He said as he moved his book bag out of the way, not waiting for a response. “I’m Remus.”

“Lily. And yes, quiet studying is my sole intention.” She explained as she settled down and opened her History of Magic textbook. 

And that’s what they did. They always studied. They exchanged polite greetings, and then worked until her next class. And they both loved it. They liked to be in the presence of someone else, but not having to converse. They could do their schoolwork, and if they had a question, they would ask each other. Lily never mentioned it to the girls, and Remus never mentioned it to the boys. The library-only-friendship between Remus Lupin and Lily Evans was left between the shelves. It just made it easier.

Because what wasn’t easy, was getting along well with a member of a group that Lily despised. The group of four boys, Remus Lupin, Peter Pettigrew, Sirius Black, and James Potter were the terror of the first year. They were loud in class, obnoxious in the hallways, and always pulling silly jokes to annoy people. It was driving Lily mental. Marlene and Zara found it entertaining, and Mary just seemed unsure and a little intrigued by it.

But the 'silly little jokes' were what was bringing Remus closer to the other boys.

“If you switch out that charm, the reaction time will be quicker.” He said from his bed, a book in his hand. 

“Lupin, you know you’re a genius. Have I told you that?” Sirius said, altering the small balls that he planned on rolling down the hallway. 

“It has been at least 20 minutes, considering that's when I clarified your incantation.” He said, trying to hide the smile pulling at his lips. 

James and Sirius ended up receiving a week's worth of detention for that one. Which for James and Sirius was nothing.

—

By early November, the boys are pulling silly jokes multiple times a week. Smoke bombs had left the first years fleeing their classrooms on two separate occasions. Lily didn’t think that the Gryffindor common room could be more chaotic, but she was continuously proved wrong.

“Why do you hang out with them?" Lily asked, sitting down her quill. They had been working in silence over transfiguration homework for the past half hour. But she couldn’t stop thinking about it. “You just seem so different from them."

“How so?" Remus asked, looking over at Lily like the question hadn’t caught him off guard at all.

“I don’t know… they’re loud, and obnoxious, and Severus says they can be unruly with the Slytherins. And you’re… not. I don’t know. I just don’t think I could ever see you in their place. Or them in yours for that matter.” Lily explained, fiddling with her hands in front of her. 

“Yeah." Remus said finally, not elaborating anymore.

“Pardon?” Lily questioned, confused as to what he was confirming or agreeing to.

It probably wouldn't matter if Lily Evans ran straight to the common room and told the other three boys what Remus said next, because they probably wouldn't believe her. Remus was quiet to the boys most of the time. Maybe even cold. But they were also the only friends he had at the moment.

“They are obnoxious. And loud. And even though sometimes they’re defending themselves against a Slytherin's snarky comments, they pick fights too. I won’t deny any of that. But James collects people who are alone like action figures. He’ll become a friend to anyone who needs it. And I don’t know, Sirius has never once made me feel outcasted due to our differences. And I know Peter has no interest and half the things I talk about, but he’s always there to listen. So yeah, they suck. But they also don’t. And Lily, I know that we’re kind of friends in a weird-library-only-kind-of-way, but I don’t need you to understand that." Remus explained, returning his attention back to his textbook. 

And that was it. Even though Remus said that Lily didn’t have to understand, everything that he had said had made everything make a little more sense. Remus saw their flaws, and he wasn’t going to pretend that they were perfect. But they were his friends. And he saw everything she did, but he also saw so much more. That was the first time, of many, that Lily Evans realized that there was no one better to have as a friend and Remus Lupin.

—

“I don’t think I understood your mother's relationship with Remus when we were younger. I think even after Lily was gone, I never quite understood it. Maybe I never will. Through the years, their relationship was different from any of ours. Any of the boys, any of us girls, and I used to be a little jealous. I’ll get into it later, but I had Sirius. I guess for me, serious was to me as Remus was to Lily. Not so much a best friend as they are ‘our person’.

Do you have a person?

Deeply, 

Mary”