Bisou
“I’d like to see you, but then again
That doesn’t mean you mean that much to me
So if I call you, don’t make a fuss
Don’t tell your friends about the two of us
I’m not in love, no no”
…
For the first time in his life, Regulus was actually excited to attend a social event.
Since he had missed the last afterparty, he had heard all about it from his roommates, and it actually sounded somewhat fun to Regulus. Mainly the alcohol part, as well as the other substances provided by a plethora of Slytherin students alike.
An hour or so after the game, and after eating lunch, the team made their way (as per tradition) to the Slytherin common room. They all talked about the game, or about Regulus’ fan club, or even about how Sirius had stormed off of the pitch after the game.
Regulus felt brilliantly amused by all of this, and that was even before the team went through the portrait hole and into the common room.
Their classmates cheered, clapping and waving bottles of champagne, as music blared and girls and boys smiled and yelled hysterically. Regulus nearly laughed, looking over at Tarquin, who was basking in the glory just as much as the rest of the team.
As they passed, everyone clapped them on the back, cheered them along, or congratulated them on the victory. Regulus didn’t know why this was such a big deal. Maybe it was because this was the first time in years Slytherin had won against Gryffindor in their first match. He hadn’t actually thought of it that way.
Regulus sifted through the crowd and tapped his roommate on the shoulder, before asking, “What do we do now?” Tarquin shook his head, motioning to his ear and shrugging. Regulus sighed, speaking louder, “What do we do now?!”
“Oh,” Tarquin laughed, “well, whatever you want.”
Regulus looked displeased, and rolled his eyes, before walking through all of the Slytherins and reaching a table in the corner he had seen when they had walked in. When he got there, there were a few girls pouring shots, while some boys were taking all sorts of liquors out of some magically enhanced sack.
He started to look for what he should drink, and felt a little bit embarrassed by not knowing. Besides with his former roommates occasionally, he had only drank with his cousins. Now he felt childish compared to all the people who knew exactly what to go to, and what to have.
“Hi Regulus,” One of the girls beside him said, putting her hand on his shoulder, “good job today.”
“Thanks,” Regulus looked at her hand on his shoulder, and then looked back to her. He had an idea. “What have you had to drink?”
She seemed to think for a while, and at that moment Regulus realized that she must be very drunk already. She then smiled at him, “I’ve had shots of Firewhisky.”
“Firewhisky?” Regulus asked, and she nodded her head to the bottle, before he looked back at her, “Want to take some shots with me?” He saw the look on her face change then. He didn’t know what it was, what he had said, but she became incredibly determined and focused all at once. She took two shot glasses and began to pour for herself and Regulus.
He felt a tiny bit guilty. He knew she probably shouldn’t be having any more to drink. But he couldn’t risk looking like a fool to everyone else at the party – besides, she seemed like she could handle her alcohol well.
Soon, though, the two of them started to take shots of Firewhisky together. After each shot Regulus would cough a bit, trying to get used to the taste, while the girl beside him would already be pouring the both of them another. He stood there for a while with her, until she got dragged off by some friends, and left him without saying goodbye.
Unbothered, Regulus took a few more, before he took a beer from the table and tried to look around for anyone he knew. As he passed, he felt a little better under the gaze of so many girls around him. He knew he looked different, he didn’t know why his hair mattered that much, but apparently it did.
He sat down on the couch, before leaning back and taking a deep breath. As he looked up at the ceiling the music pounded through his ears, and he heard the talking and the moving and the dancing all around him and he didn’t want to get up. He didn’t want to move. He felt so blissful and wonderful where he was sitting, with a bad taste in his mouth, and his legs calmly leaning against the couch cushions.
He loved the darkness of the common room. The design, the earthy green, the way it was always cold no matter what time of day or night. And he liked that this party was going on around him, that he could just sit and enjoy, unbothered and untouched. He drank more of his beer.
“Hey,” Said a voice, and he felt the couch sink next to him. He looked up, and saw Elena Castillo sitting next to him, her legs crossed and her eyes looking at expectantly.
“Hi,” Regulus responded, lifting his head up regardless of how heavy it felt, “how are you?”
Elena laughed. She had a nice laugh. It was clipped and trimmed but it was nice to Regulus. “I’m good,” She raised a perfect eyebrow, “how drunk are you?”
“I don’t know,” Regulus shrugged, which made her laugh again. His arms were around the couch, which he hadn’t realized he had been doing, and Elena moved a bit closer so now his arm was sort of around her shoulders. He didn’t know how to feel about that, but he didn’t complain.
“I like your hair like this,” Elena said, reaching up and touching his curls lightly, “it’s sexy.”
“Sexy?” Regulus started to laugh, which made Elena laugh, and he shook his head, “No, no, it’s not sexy.”
Elena leaned into him a little more, which started some sort of panic inside of him that he tried to keep down. He’d never been this close before. He’d never been touched like that before. He didn’t know if he liked it. “It is,” Elena was closer to him, she was so close, “do you think I am?”
Regulus’ eyes widened, and he swallowed, “Yes.” He didn’t know what was happening, or why she was doing this, or why she wanted him this way, but she leaned in. She kissed him and closed her eyes. The music was louder in his ears but it quieted down, and everything felt soft and gray and cold, and his arms and legs and body felt so tired. But she kissed him, and he didn’t know how to kiss, or what he was doing, but he leaned into her, too, and let her kiss him how she wanted.
He didn’t know how long they stayed there. Everything was moving so slow. He felt tired again. Soon, he felt something heavy on his legs, and realized Elena had moved into his lap, kissing him in front of the whole common room. He felt embarrassed, and flushed, but he didn’t know how to ask her to stop, how to tell her to go somewhere else. He didn’t want to be there. He didn’t want people to see him kissing – it was embarrassing, it was weak.
But he kissed back. And he felt stupid. And he let her put her hands in his hair. And his arms laid stupidly at his side, while he leaned his head back and felt so tired and dumb as she kissed and kissed him. “Elena,” He tried to say between kisses, “Elena.” She eventually heard him and pulled away, looking back at him with her beautiful mouth and her beautiful eyes, as he asked, “Are you drunk?”
“No,” Elena answered, honestly.
“Then why,” Regulus tried to gather his thoughts, everything felt so bright and dark, “why are you kissing me?”
Elena didn’t seem to understand, “Because everyone wants you.”
Regulus didn’t understand that, either. He felt at once she spoke a language he didn’t speak, that she longed for a touch he couldn’t give, but she kissed him again, and he fell back into whatever it was that they were engaged in. And he was tired. And he wanted to go to bed.
He felt like they were there forever. He just let it happen, he let the words go, he kept moving along, kept doing what she wanted him to do. He felt lucky, or, well, he wanted to feel lucky. That this girl, this beautiful, sexy, beautiful girl was kissing him, and she was kissing him so much. She was kissing him and she wanted to kiss him, she wanted to kiss him because she liked him. She liked him.
She likes me.
“Can we go to your dorm?” Elena suddenly asked, causing Regulus to come to his senses briefly as he tried to take in his surroundings. His eyes had been closed.
“Mhm,” Regulus slurred, as Elena got off of him and he stumbled into standing. She took his hand, which he accepted graciously, and led him through the crowd. He found himself searching aimlessly, trying to find a face or a person in the crowd he could recognize. But everyone looked the same.
“What’s the number?” Elena asked inside the darkness of the staircase.
“Nine-thirteen,” Regulus nodded, as she helped him up the stairs, her hand still in his as she walked in front of him, leading him to his own space. When they got to his dorm, he felt familiar. He wanted to feel familiar forever.
Tired. Tired.
“Um,” Elena nudged Regulus, who looked inside. He hadn’t realized he had just been standing there. He didn’t even remember the door opening.
Tarquin was sitting on his bed, looking up at the both of them, “Oh, hi.” Tarquin said, rubbing his face oddly as he got up and seemed to be slightly drunk as well. “Do you need something?” He asked them.
“Regulus,” Elena muttered. Regulus looked at her, unsure of what she meant, before she rolled her eyes and looked back to Tarquin, “Can we be alone?”
“Oh,” Tarquin had a look Regulus couldn’t place, “Yes, yes, sure.” He straightened himself for a moment, “Sorry.” He then walked past them, brushing past Regulus’ shoulder as Regulus watched him walk down the stairs. He didn’t get time to react, or speak, because Elena closed the door, and she was kissing him again. She held him, and he held her, and he didn’t know what she was doing, or what he was doing, but she didn’t care.
Soon they were in his bed, it seemed. She was on top of him again, he wanted to fall asleep. He was hoping he would. But soon he felt cold, he felt bare, he never slept shirtless, he never felt shirtless. But he couldn’t find his shirt, and soon hers was off too, and she was touching him, and he felt very cold.
“Do you want me?” Elena asked, suddenly serious, hovering above him with an expression that was almost vulnerable.
Regulus stared at her, before nodding, “Yes.”
I want you. I want you.
He let her.
…