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Regulus POV

Today was going to be the day. It could go two ways. James would be supportive and they’d be fine or James could beat his arse. If James wanted to, he could. He had developed a lot of muscle from quidditch- which Regulus didn’t mind at all.

His hands were shaking. Maybe this was a bad idea. It was way too much stress for a couple words.

I’m transgender.

That’s all he had to say. Two words.

A knock at the door interrupted his thoughts. The dorm was empty. Nothing to worry about. No one to overhear. Barty was in Hogsmeade with some bird and Evan was in detention. No one to catch them.

He made three quick strides to the door. There was seemingly no one there. Thank Merlin for James and his love for pranks.

Regulus stepped out of the way to let in the cloaked boy. As if there was a spirit in the room, the door closed.

The magical fabric dropped and James appeared. His hair was messy and glasses crooked from being under the cloak. There was no denying it was bloody hot.

James took a step closer to Regulus and pulled him into a kiss. He sunk right into it. He always did.

But he pulled away. A look of confusion and disappointment washed over James’s face.

“I need to talk to you a bout something,” Regulus almost whispered.

“Okay,” It was obvious James was trying to mask his sadness.

Regulus wanted to say that he wasn’t breaking up with James. But that could be a lie. Holy shit it was hard to lie to James.

The older boy took a seat on the chest at the end of Regulus’s bed. He quickly followed his actions. They sat so close that they were touching as much as possible.

Two words could end it all.

“It’s about me,” Regulus exhaled.

Two words.

“Alright,”

“Er-“ He couldn’t do it. It was too much. James would hate him. If James detested him…

“Take your time, Reg,” Fuck him. Why did he have to be so understanding. Why did he even choose waste his time with Regulus? He could be off with a girl on a date. But he chose to be here with Regulus.

“Shit,” He managed to get out, voice breaking and all.

“It’s okay,” James wrapped his arm around him and pulled him in.

He couldn’t help but rest his head on the other boy’s shoulder. Fuck James Potter.

Two words.

Regulus took a deep breath.

“I’m not-“ another deep breath, “I’m not who you think I am,” Tears started rolling down his cheeks. Pathetic.

“Alright, mysterious?” Merlin.

“Shut it, Potter,” Regulus half sobbed, half laughed.

“Last name basis again, are we, Black?” James raised his hand to the younger one’s hair.

This was his weakness. The feeling of the soft tug on his dark curls. Specifically with James’s hand.

“Okay,”

Two words.

“I-“ Another deep breath, “I’m transgender,”

It was out. No going back. Those two words could strengthen their relationship or completely tarnish it.

There was a long period of silence. Well maybe only a few seconds, but it felt like a lifetime.

James moved his shoulder so Regulus would look at him.

But he couldn’t. His gaze just focused on the floor.

“Reg, look at me.” Reg. Maybe it was okay.

He lifted his head to look at James. He was greeted with a warm smile. Before he knew it, he was being kissed on the forehead.

James pulled away slowly.

“Reg, I want you to know that I love you. No matter what. The day I realized that I loved you, I vowed to never let you go. I mean never. Not until the day I die. I know it sounds cheesy but a I mean it. I don’t care if you’re a boy or a girl. Really. I love you because you’re you and I can’t imagine my life without you in it.”

Merlin’s balls. Fuck James Potter. Regulus started to sob more. Not because he was sad. But because he was relieved. Life would be bloody awful without James. He was what kept him going.

James stood up and scooped up Regulus, bridal style. Normally, he’d yell at James because he could walk wherever he wanted him all by himself. This time was different. He let him carry him.

Regulus was placed on the bed before James ran to other side to lay next to him. It was comical really. James running to lie next to Regulus on his single bed that was barely big enough to fit one boy.

Everything kind of went dark from there. Regulus must have fallen asleep because when he woke up, James was gone and Evan and Barty were fighting.

He sighed. James was much better than those two idiots.

“Look who finally decided to wake up from his beauty sleep,” Evan snickered.

“Shut it,”

“Someone’s grumpy,” Barty chimed in.

“Owl came for ya’. Refuses to leave until you take letter. I tried to grab it myself and it snapped at me,” Evan adds.

“Don’t blame him,” Regulus teased. Evan only rolled his eyes.

The letter was from James. There was no other explanation. Unless someone had stolen James’s owl and told her to only let Regulus have the letter.

He unattached the letter from the owl’s leg. She immediately flew out the small window located at the top of the room.

It read;

Reg,

Meet me in the astronomy tower tonight. I want to talk more. Maybe it’ll be better now that you’ve calmed down a bit.

Love J

p.s. I tried to stay until you woke up but the sun was going down and didn’t want to get caught. You need the sleep

There was a small heart at the bottom corner of the parchment. It was clearly drawn by James. If he was being honest, it looked like a toddler had drawn it.

He smiled and folded the paper to put in his trouser pocket.

When he looked up the two other boys were looking at him funny.

“What?” He asked.

“Who sent it?” Evan asks.

“House elf, giving updates on everything,” Regulus isn’t sure how he came up with that lie that fast.

Barty seems satisfied with that answer but Evan gives him a quizzical look.

“Let’s go get dinner, yeah?” Regulus asks, trying to change the subject.

“Sure,” Barty has already seemed to forget.

The two other boys were both snoring later that night. It was like they’ve never heard of the silencing charm before.

But thankfully, he had someplace to be. Regulus got up out of bed and slipped away without waking either of them.

The walk to the astronomy tower was always calming. It gave him time to think. Especially when he had started seeing James.

But even before James, it was a distraction. Back then it was only barely keeping him going. Funny it was the place he and James had their first kiss. Actually, Regulus’s first kiss ever.

If you had told his third year self his first kiss was going to be with James bloody Potter, he would’ve laughed right in your face.

Regulus had been so bitter then. Nothing was going well for him. At the start of fourth year, Sirius left. He was the target now. But James made it better.

James was his escape. His oasis in the desert. His torch in the dark. His cherry on top.

Regulus was the first to arrive. But James followed only a few minutes later.

He had a warm smile on his face. It wasn’t his usual James Potter smile. He wasn’t showing teeth. It was a welcoming one. It was probably most worn by his mother.

“Hey, mate,” James sat down next to him, lacing their hands together.

“Hi James,”

“Sorry about leaving,”

“Rather wake up alone than having to see you get beat up by Evan and Barty,”

“I could take them,” Now he showed off his James Potter smile.

“Really?”

“Easily,”

Regulus leaned in and kissed him. It felt like home. More home than his real home.

James pulled away first and rested his forehead on Regulus’s.

“Tell me more,” James said.

“Sorry?”

“About you being transgender. When did you find out?”

“I don’t know, actually. I was quite young. Maybe four.”

“You’ve been hiding this whole time?” He had a look of distress on his face.

“Well, yes and no. Only Sirius and Dad refer to me as Regulus. The rest of them call me-“ Regulus stopped himself. He trusted James, he really did. But he wasn’t ready to tell him his old name.

“It’s alright, love. But I’d be lying if I wasn’t confused,”

“‘bout what?”

“Are you a boy or a girl? At first I thought girl, then you said Sirius and your dad were the only that called you Reg but I don’t see your mum as the most supportive…”

Regulus couldn’t help but let out a laugh.

“I’m a boy, James. It’s all magic. My father helped me out. Very complicated magic. He spent well over a year studying to get the right spells. When it came time for Hogwarts I talked to Dumbledore and he agreed to enroll me as Regulus.”

“Wow,” Regulus cringed. Was it a bad wow? A good wow?

“That’s- I just didn’t expect your him to-“ It was clear James was trying to find words that wouldn’t offend Regulus. But he knew exactly what he was trying to say.

“You thought he was like my mum,” James sighs.

“Yeah, you know I don’t mean it like that,”

“Yeah, I know, James,”

That warm smile is back on his face.

Merlin, he loved James so much.