Green & Gold

Thursday November 4, 2003

“We’re going to go see Nickleback?” Alice scrunched her nose up as she danced in Jasper’s room and threw herself across his prop of a bed. “Ew.”

Jasper turned from his computer, where he had literally just clicked the purchase button for the tickets, and raised a silent brow at Alice.

“Everyone’s gone,” Alice said immediately. “Carlisle and Esme are at the hospital for some charity event. Edward’s out of range, hunting. And Rose and Em are... somewhere very far away thank goodness,” she shuddered.

“You and I are not going to the concert. We are taking Harry to go see one of his favorite bands perform,” Jasper clarified.

“Ooh,” Alice sat up and crossed her legs beneath herself. “So this is business, not pleasure. Got it.”

Jasper nodded curtly, glad to have Alice pick up on his newest scheme so quickly. Hell, he was glad to have Alice helping him with his plans period. And he hadn’t even asked her to, she eagerly volunteered.

Maybe he should have been surprised when she brought it up during a hunt, only two days after Harry shot down Jasper’s carefully spoken mention of immortality-

‘I’d find a way to kill myself’, was a pretty firmly spoken sentiment.

But Jasper also felt Harry’s wistfulness when Jasper talked about his siblings. His sense of loss when he discussed his friends. His grief when his family was brought up.

Jasper thought maybe that Harry’s problem with immortality wasn’t living forever, it was living forever and being alone.

But he could hardly pose that distinction as a question without sounding insane and expect a true answer, could he?

So when Alice took Jasper hunting only a couple days later and bluntly said, “I say we run away with Harry and turn him,” it had been a relief. Jasper hadn’t agreed with that plan, not yet. Not if he could convince him to join their family willingly. But he told Alice if hethey couldn’t convince Harry that an eternity could be filled with happiness, he’d do it her way.

It was an unspoken agreement that if Harry attempted to kill himself again, they would turn him immediately and damn the consequences.

Which led Jasper to his currently distasteful task of planning on taking Harry to his first rock concert.

Harry, what are you doing Saturday? -Jasper

Jasper and Alice waited patiently for Harry’s reply. For a teenager, he was a remarkably slow texter. Alice let out a giggle just moments before Jasper’s phone dinged, no doubt seeing his reply within her own mind. Sure enough;

Tell Alice I’m not jumping off a bridge again.

“Tell him he had fun,” Alice said. “And tell him it’s too cold now for humans to go bungee jumping.”

Harry did have fun. In fact, according to Harry’s emotions, he’s had fun on every adrenaline pumping, insane idea that Jasper and Alice had come up with so far.

“I am not telling him that,” Jasper murmured as he typed out a response.

You loved it. But since it’s cold, want to go to a concert instead?

“Might as well tell him,” Alice said. “Turning him is just a matter of time.”

Jasper looked up after he sent off his text, and studied his sister carefully.

“Did your visions change?” he asked.

Alice’s forehead wrinkled as she closed her eyes and shook her head briefly, sinking Jasper’s hopes.

“No, but I still see him with us. It’s clear as day, Jazz. He’s definitely going to be a part of the family.”

Neither of them understood why Alice had yet to see Harry as a newborn. They were both dedicated to this plan. Even if Jasper would ever waver, Alice had no intention of letting Harry remain human for much longer. They were hoping it was just a fluke, the same fluke that led to a lot of visions of Harry being filled with white gaps.

“Edward’s coming back, are you leaving?” Alice asked quickly. Jasper nodded and hastily threw his phone in his pocket. He spared a quick kiss of gratitude to the top of Alice’s head before jumping out the window and taking off towards town.

Avoiding Edward was the trickiest part of their entire plan. Alice had tons of practice with filling her mind with frivolous thoughts about fashion, or incredibly complex ones such as translating popular songs to dead or fictional languages, to keep Edward from seeing her visions, so it was no trouble for her to keep this up. Jasper, while never really enjoying having his mind be read, had never had a reason to practice keeping his brother out either. So they decided that the best plan was for Jasper to avoid Edward when possible, and to think of something boring when he couldn’t avoid him.

So far Jasper had spent most of his time recalling the statistics of every major league player in the MLB since it was founded in 1869.

Other than that though, Jasper thought their plan had been going smoothly. Harry had looked happier recently, much more human now when his eyes lit up with enthusiasm for whatever idea Jasper or Alice presented him with.

Jasper was nearly to his destination when his phone chimed at him.

With who?

Jasper shook his head at Harry’s reply. Who did he think Jasper was talking about?

Me of course.

Jasper scaled the tree in the woods behind Harry’s house and situated himself amongst the branches. Since Jasper had began avoiding Edward at home, he’d taken it upon himself to watch over Harry from afar during the nights. He wouldn’t peer through the windows again, he was still ashamed for having done it the one time, but from this distance he could still get a feel for Harry’s emotions without invading his privacy.

And it was for Harry’s safety, he reminded himself firmly.

Just me and you?

Jasper would have responded and told Harry that he had also invited Alice, but Alice sent a text as well.

Have fun!

So apparently she wasn’t going.

If you would like? Jasper sent Harry along with a quick thanks to Alice.

Along with Harry’s slowly increasing happiness, he was also beginning to trust Jasper. Not wholly, and certainly not with large gaps of his past that cause his anxiety to radiate from his very body when Jasper asks him about certain things, but he imagined it was at least more than he trusts Alice. He trusted Jasper to be alone with him. He trusted him with more softly spoken tidbits of his past. Jasper cherished this hard earned trust.

He hoped it would not be broken once they turned him.

He also sometimes got brief flashes of longing and endearment when he spent time alone with Harry. Harry seemed to be pointlessly pushing those feelings away though as they would be quickly followed by grief, fear, and agony which he couldn’t interpret the reasoning for. Jasper encouraged Harry’s slowly increasing affections as Alice’s visions of them together increased.

He wasn’t manipulating Harry; he was simply trying to speed along what seemed to be the inevitable.

None of his other siblings understood his interest in Harry. They all were fond of him, and treated him as if he were already family, but to fall for a human? It was a madness they couldn’t understand. But when he saw Harry animated after suggesting some new way of showing him how joyous life could be, how could he not have fallen? Harry was magical.

Jasper focused his gift on Harry’s house now, ignoring the many varied emotions from his neighbors. It was difficult, to focus on only one person, but he was getting quite a bit of practice in with Harry. Jasper rested his head back on the tree trunk and closed his eyes while he ignored the other emotions and sought out only the ones coming from the red brick house.

Anxiety.Guilt.

Ding!

Jasper opened his phone and his lips curled up automatically at Harry’s reply;

Yeah that’d be cool. But what do I wear for a concert?

Was Harry anxious about a concert? Why did he feel guilty? Jasper sometimes thought he might pull his hair out with frustration at trying to interpret the reasoning behind Harry’s emotions.

Something warm, it’s outdoors in Seattle. Is that too far of a trip for your bike?

Excitement.

Jasper closed his eyes and congratulated himself on once more being able to change Harry’s emotions without supernatural influence. It was a menial task, and one he had never bothered to use before, but satisfying in the results. He still had the unfair advantage of being able to sense the precise moment that Harry was beginning to slip in to anguish. But finding ways to immediately pull him out of it? That was where he had to put in the actual work.

You won’t be cold if we take the bikes?

Jasper chuckled quietly at Harry’s text. As if he had been bothered by the cold temperatures since he was a human. He could swim the Antarctic Ocean nude then dry off in the snow and never notice. Though, Harry’s human self would...

I’ll wear a coat of course, as should you.

Amusement.

Of course Harry was amused. He was always amused when any of the members of Jasper’s family harped on him to take better care of himself. Rosalie pushing food to him at every opportunity, ‘you need to eat more’. Alice making him dress in more fitting clothes, ‘when you look good you feel good’. Edward about his studies, ‘think of how impressed your friend will be when your top of your class’. Even Emmett had shown concern in his own way; ‘you have to quit with the stuntman moves kid, who am I going to pick on if you’re dead?’

Which made Jasper cringe, but Harry had found it funny.

Harry had a morbid sense of humor that rivaled even Emmetts. He always found the most ridiculous things amusing.

K, see you tomorrow?

I’ll see you tomorrow. Sleep well.

Contempt.Angst.Fear.

Which was something Jasper couldn’t fix yet; Harry’s continued poor sleep habits. He saw the proof in his face every morning, and in the noises he could hear from his house during the night.

But he reassured himself that Harry wouldn’t suffer much longer. He gave Alice his word that they would take him during Christmas break and turn him. So when he heard the clink of what was undoubtedly a bottle of bourbon, or some other human drink, being opened in Harry’s house he counted down the days again:

45 more days.

And when Harry yelled out in the ungodly hours of the night, a shout to Jasper’s ears yet muted to his neighbors, he chanted it in his mind.

45 days. 45 days. 45 days.

The next afternoon put Jasper’s patience to the test.

Harry told him at lunch, where Harry was picking at a sandwich and Rosalie was pretending to eat as ‘encouragement’, that he was going to La Push that night with a group of other students to meet up with his cousin and have a bon fire. Harry asked all of the Cullen’s if they wanted to go, and Jasper unfortunately had to refuse on all of their behalf.

“Esme wants us home tonight for a family night before Carlisle leaves for a medical conference this weekend,” he said. It was a partial truth and partial lie. They had made plans to go hunting together as Carlisle does leave tomorrow morning for a medical conference, but Jasper would cancel to go to an event that Harry invited him to. If he could have. If it was any other beach, any other group of teenagers- Jasper would have dealt with it. But one night with Harry wasn’t worth breaking a treaty with the Quileutes.

Jasper couldn’t wait for the day when there were no secrets left between him and Harry.

Which was in 44 days.

Disappointment. Doubt.

“I would absolutely cancel if I could,” Jasper followed up with immediately, attempting to smother Harry’s disappointment. “But-“

“But Esme would drain every drop of blood from his body if he did,” Alice cut in with an innocent smile. “I skipped family night once and I swear she nearly ripped my head off!”

If Jasper could have, he would have choked at Alice’s sweetly spoken innuendos. As it was, Rosalia hissed beneath her breath and even Emmett looked surprised at Alice’s nerve. Edward rolled his eyes, but he had been doing that a lot ever since Alice began her mission of keeping him out of her head.

Harry, though, looked and felt moderately cheered by Alice’s words.

“Well maybe next time?” he asked.

“Of course.”

Jasper hated lying outright to him, but in 44 days Harry would also be unwelcome on La Push beach and then Jasper wouldn’t have to sit at home and wonder if Harry was enjoying himself or not.

“God you look so jealous,” Emmett guffawed at Jasper in the middle of a college basketball game they were watching. Well, Emmett was watching it and Jasper was...

Not moping.

And certainly not jealous.

“I am concerned,” he said slowly. “It’s different.”

“Concerned Harry’ll find someone better?” Emmett said with a grin to indicate that he thought it was a ridiculous idea. And it was, mostly. Because Alice surely would have warned Jasper if that was the case. But... but Harry was a human. And they were fickle.

“Or that his uncle or cousin will share our secret,” Jasper lied quickly and effortlessly.

“That only helps you right?” Emmett twisted in the chair until his legs hung off one edge, his head off the other, and he peered up at Jasper from an upside down face filled with mirth. “They tell the kid we’re vamps, Carlisle has to change him, then we get one free pass to kill some dogs. I’m not seeing any downsides bro.”

“Harry is not being turned!” Rosalie shouted from the garage.

And since it was untrue, Jasper chose to ignore her. But Emmett wasn’t wrong either, it would almost be a good thing if Jacob or Billy Black exposed the truth to him. Then Carlisle couldn’t argue against the Volturi’s orders of join or die.

And Jasper would burn before Harry died.

Which meant his annoyance was coming from...

“I am jealous,” Jasper said disbelievingly as he finally realized the same thing Emmett apparently already knew. “How did this become my life?”

“It’s Harry,” Emmett laughed. “He’s a weird kid.”

“He’s not weird,” Jasper said automatically. “He’s just different.”

“He’s weird,” Emmett said in his blunt way. “Quit snarling at me! You know it’s true! I like the kid, he’s a real riot, but he’s weird as hell. I don’t even think he’s fully human sometimes.”

Jasper scoffed half-heartedly. There were times he didn’t think Harry was fully human either. Humans were boring, easily ignored, and ridiculously frail. Harry was interesting, exciting, and had the hardened personality of a soldier. But he wasn’t ‘weird as hell’. And in 44 days he wouldn’t be human either.

“You’re an ass Em,” he told his brother.

“Don’t your mean arse?” Emmett grinned, unconcerned as always by the insult. “Cause if it’s you and the kid forever then you’ll have to get used to calling everyone ‘arses’ and ‘gits’.”

“And ‘bloody prats’,” Edward called from out back.

“‘Posh tossers’,” Alice chimed in with a giggle from her room.

“My personal favorite so far has been: ‘he’s barmy!’” Carlisle chuckled in his office.

Jasper sunk down in his seat and sighed. There were a lot of benefits to having a large group such as the Cullen’s to call family. Never having a truly private conversation was not one of them.

Ding!

Emmett made to grab Jasper’s phone, he lunged from his chair with his arm outstretched for the silver phone on the coffee table. He may have gotten it, maybe, if Jasper weren’t quicker than him. Jasper grabbed his wrist and wrenched it back behind his shoulder blades and carefully flipped him across the living room, aiming at the walls instead of Edward’s beloved piano. Before Emmett could do more than playfully snap his teeth, obviously begging for a fight, Jasper was already out in the yard with the phone safely in his hand.

Whatr u doin?

Poor spelling aside... Jasper stood next to the wall of the house and text Harry back.

I was watching a basketball game. Are you having fun in La Push?

For an entity 169 years old, how was his patience so poor? Jasper stared up at the moon and breathed in and out slowly as he waited on Harry’s response... he felt the air needlessly move through his lungs... he pulled someone’s emotional calm coming from the house and forced it on himself...

Ding!

yup but im home now

Ding!

A second text almost immediately followed the first and Jasper let out a startled laugh. What on earth?

u have pretty eyes

And then a third...

sorry

“I’ll be back in the morning,” Jasper called towards the house as he began his journey to Harry’s. He hadn’t planned on camping out in a tree there tonight, but if Harry was home and complimenting Jasper’s eyes, then he very much wanted to feel his emotions.

He waited until he was securely in his usual spot and focused on Harry’s emotions before he replied;

Why Harry, are you flirting with me?

Embarrassment. Longing. Grief.

While an odd mixture of emotions, it was hardly the oddest that Harry has had before. So Jasper counted the longing as proof of his success in at least progressing their relationship, even if he isn’t sure if he’s convinced him that eternity doesn’t have to be misery, and kicked back and waited.

No

Yes

Probably shouldn’t tho

Sorry

Jasper looked at his phone screen for a long moment before deciding that one little peek at Harry wouldn’t be too terribly invasive. He silenced his phone and quietly moved up to the house to glance inside Harry’s living room window, taking care to avoid being seen as Harry had his lights on.

Harry was sitting in his chair, looking down at the cell phone in his lap with the most miserable expression. Did he think Jasper wouldn’t appreciate his flirtations? Jasper kept his eyes and gift entirely focused on Harry as he typed out a reply without looking.

Why shouldn’t you? I happen to think you have pretty eyes as well. Although I don’t think that pretty is a strong enough word for them.

Joy. Grief. Longing. Grief. Despair.

Harry threw his head back and let out a long sigh, one that finally alerted Jasper as to the reasoning behind his poor spelling and grammar tonight. Apparently the party he attended had alcohol. Which made sense for a get-together consisting of human teenagers. If Jasper cared to filter through his muddled human memories he would find many nights spent with friends and fellow soldiers with a bottle being passed around.

ive got the same eyes as my mom

Well, that explained the grief.

I’ve seen the photo of your mom, remember? And while she was a very beautiful woman, I think your eyes are better.

Amusement. Bashful joy. Grief. Confusion.

Jasper watched as Harry slowly typed out a message. Watching Harry use a phone was incredibly painful. Jasper may be nearly two centuries old, but even he didn’t type on a phone with one finger. Jasper could nearly read the text Harry was writing from where he stood. If Harry’s phone was turned just a quarter of an inch to the left then Jasper could formulate a response before ever even getting the text. But he had enough slip ups around Harry as it was, accidentally replying to a text before he received it would certainly alert Harry to his less than human status.

Instead, he amused himself by watching Harry’s face as he typed. His glasses were slipping down his nose (another thing that Jasper would miss when Harry no longer needed them), and he had the tip of his tongue clenched between his teeth as he scrunched his forehead and typed.

ru flirting with me?

If Jasper was not entirely too aware that he was right outside Harry’s window, he would have laughed. Lord, Harry was oblivious. And here Jasper thought that he had been obvious on their many outings as he occasionally put his hand on Harry’s shoulder to guide him through a crowd, or pushed his hair out of his face after the wind blew it back. Jasper wondered if someone would have to throw themselves directly at Harry to gain his notice.

And if I am?

What seemed to be an eternity later...

im going to miss u when u die

... what?

Jasper looked up from his screen quickly enough to see Harry’s face crumple and his emotions push out with a wild force.

Grief. Angst. Anger.

Jasper couldn’t even begin to fathom what thoughts were going through Harry’s mind when he sent that text. But that was an opening if he ever saw one...

What if neither of us ever died? We could just ride our bikes across the world together. Go see crappy concerts and jump from the tallest bridges we could.

Harry froze as he read Jasper’s text. His eyes flicked through the message multiple times.

Wistful. Longing. Bitterness.

Jasper smiled serenely as he moved back to his tree.

Harry read his text and felt wistful.

If Jasper changed him tomorrow, and then told him that he would have a family for all of eternity, he didn’t think Harry would mind one bit. And Harry’s next text confirmed just that;

sounds nice. see u tomorrow

Jasper propped himself in the branch and watched the lights in Harry’s living room go off for the night.

44 more days.

***

On the 3rd of December, when there were a mere 15 days until Jasper and Alice planned to turn Harry, Alice drug Jasper out in the middle of the forest. They had run nearly thirty miles out to the wilderness before she stopped and turned a wide eyed look on him.

“It’s gone,” she said quietly. “The plane ride? It’s gone.”

“Damn it.” Jasper snarled and struck out at the fir tree beside him. An old owl hooted at him in annoyance as the tree broke off and flew into the one beside it. “What happened now?!”

They were already following their plan uncomfortably blind. Alice couldn’t see anything to do with Harry being turned. They had theorized over many private conversations and their best guess as to that was perhaps Harry had a very strong gift as a vampire that kept him from being seen? Neither of them had never seen or heard of a gift that strong before, but since Harry’s future was already filled with white gaps, and his mind was difficult for Edward to decipher, it was their current leading theory.

So up until now, all they had to go on for the final stage in their plan was a plane ride to an indeterminate location with the three of them seated together.

“I don’t know!” Alice cried, just as frustrated as her brother. “We were getting on a plane, it was clear as day even down to what we were wearing, and then nothing! It just disappeared a few minutes ago!”

“What could have changed?” Jasper mused aloud. “Maybe Harry made plans?”

“Maybe,” Alice agreed slowly. “I don’t like this.”

“I don’t either,” Jasper admitted. Perhaps it was inexcusable, but having a seer for a sister had caused them all to become dependent on her visions. Attempting a plan without them now made him feel like he was stepping on to a battlefield without a weapon. “If you don’t want to go with me, I’ll understand.”

Alice let out a tinkling laugh and put a hand on Jasper’s arm. “Oh I’m going. I want to be there when he turns. He’s going to be amazing Jazz, I just know it.”

Jasper smiled softly as he agreed.

He knew Harry was going to be amazing.

And regardless of Alice’s vision, he would get to witness Harry’s rebirth in 15 days.

***

31 days. 31 days. 31 days.

Jasper kept his mantra flowing freely through his mind as he listened to the sounds of Harry obsessively cleaning his house.

31 days.

In 31 days, Hermione Granger and Ron Weasley would be back in England and Jasper and Alice could finally add Harry as a permanent member of their family.

Harry had shown up to school earlier that morning and cheerfully explained that his ‘best mates’ were coming to stay with him over Christmas break. Jasper and Alice had exchanged a subtle and relieved look, her vision disappearing the previous night finally making sense. Harry did make plans, contradictory to Jasper’s own, but those plans would only be for a couple of weeks.

Jasper was pleased that Harry’s friends would be spending the holiday break with him. Even if it pushed back his own agenda, Harry’s consistent joy that day more than made up for it.

And really, what was 31 more days in the grand scheme of things?