Chapter 2
POV: Y/N
We just arrived to the hut that stood at the edge of the Forbidden Forest. Fearless guardian Fang slept in the corner of the room, fulfilling his duty of looking like an old sofa that was used one time too many. He didn’t exactly bother to get up and greet us when we entered the door. He just lifted his head to see who is it to interrupt his evening beauty sleep and if they deserve his attention. Apparently we weren’t that interesting. He wagged his tail when his master came to him and scratched his head but that was all he was willing to muster at the moment.
,, That dog is unbelievable!”
I uttered and sat behind big table. I was trying to adjust at my chair and leaned forward, putting my elbows up, so I could reach the wooden surface. Hagrid was watching me with amused smile, filling kettle with water and putting it on fire. Great….. I bet I look like a little girl on her first day of school!
,, Do you wanna sit on something?”
He said as I was still struggling to get myself comfortable on enormous furniture. I tried my best not to fall which, in my opinion, is pretty tough task when your feet are dangling above the ground.
,, Like what? Your lap?”
I said, annoyed as I shot him sharp look. He rolled his eyes at me and passed to the other side of the room to his cabinet.
,Maybe I should watch my mouth today.´ I scolded myself, beginning to unpack my books and pens., Hagrid is kind enough to help me with my research, so I should give him a break.´
Originally, I was planning to work on it alone in library, but on our last stuff meeting Dumbledore directed me to him with words:
,, You will not find finer expert on your magic creature business than our dear friend Hagrid!”
He did so with big share of grinning, which gave me feeling that he was up to something. But who knows? It´s Dumbledore after all! Strange man that Dumbledore.
My train of thoughts was interrupted when I felt big arm wrapping around my middle. Hagrid lifted me with rough manner as if I weighed nothing more than dry leaf and till I managed to react I sat on big, soft pillow he put under me. I looked on him, but he was already walking towards his fireplace, grabbing kettle with now hot water. As he started making tea he slightly lifted his gaze at me.
,, I was referring to pillow or something.”
,, You could just gave it to me and I would manage alone!”
I answered, desperately holding on my calm appearance, when in fact my heart was hammering against my ribcage. He just smirked, not leaving his task.
,, If you can be rude, I will too”
, Well this is new., I thought, still shaken by his actions.
,, Sorry, I didn´t meant to be mean.…. I just snapped ….It´s been a long day. Kids can be little monsters sometimes.”
I looked down, playing with strap on my clothes, muttering my poor excuse. I really didn't saw what was so bad about that little comment that I deserved this. We didn´t exactly argue other than few good natured quarrels so this wasn´t something I was used to.
,, It´s not that, I heard you had a ruff day.”
,, What was that for then?” I asked, thinking of all possible ways I could offend him.
,,That was for the way you always treat me.”
,, What is wrong about it?” I asked. He scratched his nose uneasily.
,,I didn´t wanted to talk about this now. Just how do I put it…” He paused for a moment, his expression hardening as he thought of the way how to form his next sentence without offending me.
“Look, I don´t mean to sound harsh or anything, but you are always teasing me like that and I don´t think I can handle it….. anymore .” He said as he put a big cup of tea in front of me, making it look like peace offering.
, Yeah I tease you….and you are still not catching on…..wait…”anymore”?´ A thought flew through my head as he went on.
,, I think we are already good friends, so it is ok for me to tell you straight ….so ...ehm”
He continued, rubbing his hands nervously against his pants looking rather bashful.
,, I want you to know, that you are safe in every possible way with me, but above jolly half- giant I am a man too you know….and not exactly as dense as you think.”
He was uncomfortable, standing in the middle of the room, playing with his hands. His gaze searched the ground under his feet, trying to find any occupation other than looking at me. I didn´t quite understand what was going on with him but I was hoping this could lead somewhere. I was only guessing but at least the cues he was dropping my way was telling enough. My cheeks heated up on that thought and I looked at him.
,, Why would I think you are dense?”
His head shot up at me. Eyes wide with surprise that I pointed out this piece of information, from all he just said. He cleared his throat and passed to his chair, sitting on it.
,, Because every time we talk, you have these ….comments, lewd or sarcastic, on things I do or how I look and you think they aren´t affecting me. It´s driving me crazy honestly! ”
,, Then why didn´t you told me sooner ?”
,, Because I didn´t mind it at the beginning. I thought that it was just way you talk and who am I to judge person based on how he express oneself? And honestly it was fun for a while because not many people would let loose , with me in their presence ,like you did. But then?
,, But then?” I urged him on, practically not breathing.
,, But then, I got to know you better. You are interesting person Y/N. I rarely meet someone whom I like to spend time with. Privet time when we talk about any kind of stuff and I don´t need to pretend that I am interested or be overly polite. You can be a little brat too of course, but you are also kind, very smart and if it´s ok for me to say pretty too…. And .”
I just smiled on such honesty. This man is so sweet it hurts my teeth.>
,, And?”
,, Oh you just really want me to say it don´t you? Make a fool of myself.” he sighed ,, And I think I like you Y/N. More than just a friend. Just to be clear.”
I didn´t look at him, I just stared at my hands in my lap grinning like an idiot. Maybe I should say something
,, Hagrid I…”
,, I know that you don´t feel the same about me, that´s why I am upset with you now.” He interrupted me and crossed his arms at his chest bracing himself.
My head went up so fast I hurt my neck in the process. I hissed on the small pain and my hand rose to the aching place.
,, Why would you think that?” I asked massaging my neck.
,, Are you serious? I am not that naïve to think you could like somebody like me! I am simply drawing a line here. You see… I can´t go on hoping for something more when clearly you don´t see things the same way I do, and your comments aren´t helpful at all. You keep teasing me and I….it´s cruel, even when you are not aware of it.”
,No this isn´t right! He is clearly misunderstanding!, My thoughts were screaming at me. ,All this time and I didn´t notice. But why is he telling me just now?...Maybe I overdid it yesterday? Hmmm, could be, but that´s not important now. First I need to clear things for him., I took a deep breath and calmly said.
,, Now. If I told you that this whole time I was flirting with you because I wanted you to notice me in different light, what would you say?
He frowned at me. ,, I would say , you are a liar!”
,, Why would I lie about the fact that I have romantic affections towards you?!”
I said, little louder that intended, which irritated him more. He leaned further on his seat and put his hands flat on the table. He looked at me with eyes that were usually so gentle but now, there was small hint on anger starting to raise in them.
,, Because it is simply impossible for you to find me appealing. I am not handsome, or smart or anywhere near interesting, hell I am not even full human nor giant. I am very much aware how I look to others, so spare me this pitiful talk. I don´t need to hear it. Especially from……”
He froze in the middle of sentence with his finger pointing at me in the air. He continued much quieter.
,, What did you say?” He said shocked.
,, That I like you, you babbling baboon!” I said angrily at him. ,, By beard! Why do you have such poor opinion about yourself? For your information I find you very appealing, otherwise I wouldn´t bother to tease you as much as I do. I am sorry If you misunderstood, but you could have told me sooner instead of assuming things on your own. How do you think I feel now, knowing that I was practically hurting you every time I talked to you? You always looked like it didn´t bother you at all!”
Words were falling from my mouth, without me properly thinking of them. I finally calmed down. I wanted to run away from this situation, but I knew that if I did that I would be very awkward for us later on. So I just took in a breath and reached for Hagrid´s hand that fell in the middle of the desk. I was about to speak, but he beat me to it.
,, So you are saying that there is chance for me to hope for more?”
I smiled and squeezed his hand
,, Yes, there is. Look I don’t say that we need to act on it right away, but if there could be a chance I would be happy to see how far we can go with it. Because I truly like you.”
He opened his mouth to say something but I knew what he wanted to ask, so I answered the unsaid
,, Yes, more than just a friend. Happy now?”
He smiled at me and returned the pressure on my hand.
,, I think I would like to see that too.”
We sat there for long time looking at each other, holding hands, thinking of what the other said. Nothing was settled, at least for now, but that was ok. Understanding of mutual attraction for each other was plenty for the beginning. There would be times when we would need to discuss some topics, but not now. It was perfect and…..Oh shit I am in his hut. No shit Sherlock I know....but It is after the dark and we didn’t even began with my research which was main reason I came here today. With this feeling of new found possibility, it was the last thing I wanted to think about, but I don’t think Hagrid would want to rush things either. Or? No, no…I can´t think like that. We should probably move simply forward and see how things would come naturally. I was growing nervous with every passing moment overthinking every possible scenario . I noticed Hagrid staring at me, scanning me with his curious eyes. He looked nervous and at this point he didn’t know what to do, so he just asked.
,, Are you ok?”.
,, Yes very much.” I said with a shaking voice ,, Oh look at the time….It so late. Can I still weight upon you with my academic nonsense? Or should I come tomorrow?” I said looking at my watch, removing my hand from his in the process.
He forgot about it too. He looked out of the window, small smile appeared on his lips as he thought of something, but he quickly turned to me.
,, Oh yes, of course you can. Don’t worry about the time I will accompany you afterwards to school.”
, Sly man that Hagrid,
. I smirked and began to dig through my bag for ink. I couldn´t wait to explore every side of him and hopefully bring back the teasing too. It should be all right now when he knew what it´s about. No…I should wait a bit. Now I need to focus.
I noticed he was searching in his pantry.
,When did he get there?,
I thought and watched him for a moment. He bumped his head on the one of his shelfs as he was trying to get out of narrow space. ,Don’t laugh, don’t laugh., I covered my moth with my hand, hiding amused smirk. He turned to me with plate full of muffins and set it in front of me with embarrassed smile.
,,They go right with the tea.”
I wanted to only thank him politely, I swear, but he was just so perfect. ,Oh screw waiting,
,, You want to feed me up? Don´t worry, I won´t run." I said with a smirk looking up at him. He sat back on his chair, with bashful expression and he looked at me with unamused eyes.
,, Oh there you go again!” He commented but didn’t say any more, he just turned his head from me. I caught the little smile he was hiding behind his hands. I think he wasn´t completely convinced by my previous statement about my affections for him, but at least he wasn´t offended this time. I am glad. It is hard for a person who doesn´t accept himself to admit that somebody else could see any good in them when they don´t see it themselves. It is a process, but I think he will get there. Hopefully.
I set the last of my materials. Hagrid was deep in his thoughts so I just cleared my throat to get his attention again. He turned to me and asked.
,, So….what do you need to know? Dumbledore said that you are making some research on my field of interest?”
,,Yes! “ I started to look around for the piece of paper, I couldn´t see anywhere. ,, Questions. Where did I put them?”
I rummaged through big stock of old parchment with shaking hands, trying to answer him further.
,, I am making one for my current work. Herbology in combination with medical magic and it´s effect on magical creatures…..Just where is it?”
,, Wow, that sounds complicated.”
I chuckled. ,,It´s just a tittle. I suppose you already know these things, but rather than theory you are using them in practice. ”
He lifted his cup and took a big swig of tea, hiding his rosy cheeks.
,, Yeah I am not big , and probably never was, on medical magic. Herbology ? … Maybe. I mostly follow my instinct when it comes to my forest friends.”
I smiled to myself. That sound about right from him. Not everybody gets it, of course, but he is just smart in his own way. I finally found the questions and put them down in front of me.
,, Why are you smiling?”
,, Oh….no reason. Should we begin?”
He leaned back on his chair, with his hands on his belly. , I admit that place looks comfortable,
,, Whenever you ready.” he said, smiling at me.
,, Sure…” , Fuck… Did I really just thought that?
I shook it off, burying my nose into papers. , Oh Merlin…this will be long evening.,
Edited 6.12 2022
Working on new chapter!