Chapter 3
I wake from a nightmare, it takes a while to get my breathing under control.
I turn to my other side and close my eyes, but thoughts begin to creep to the front of my head. I push them back.
I focus on my breathing, it works for five breaths. Then I lose track of it and the thoughts are creeping back again.
"What if I will become evil?" "What will my father think of me? Will he hate me?" And Helga? I know she could never hate me, even if I tried to kill her. She would just be sad that she had lost her friend. She would defend herself and never talk to me again. But she could never hate me. For that, I'm way too much under her skin. I've waved my lifelines so much with hers, it's not easy to unravel them. But I could do it. If I went mad enough. If I let the evil take me.
But I wouldn't. I promise myself here and now nothing will come between me and Helga. Our friendship is the most important thing for me. She goes above me. She goes above every other person I meet. Even above...my father. I promise, Helga, I promise. Nothing will destroy us. I don't let it.
I think of Helga and her loving family. She just has so much love inside her, you can feel it if you are in her presence. It's almost as if it's radiating from her. So much love she has to give. Even for those who don't deserve it. I don't deserve to be in such a loving environment.
I have so much anger and rage in me. I am barely able to control it. I want to lash out at every person I meet.
I know what Helga would say. "But you can control it, you are doing it. Every day. And you're so strong for even trying. And you succeed." Everything I really set my mind on can happen. Helga has told me that. I don't think I'm that powerful.
I just want to mean something in this world. I want everyone to know my name.
Even in a hundred or even a thousand years, I want people to know my name.
I am Salazar Slytherin and one day, everyone will know my name.