Chapter 4
We walk up to the main room of the estate. This is the estate where the gathering is every year.
I used to love these gatherings, but now they are just another dull thing my parents force me to go to for their imago. As the son of the great Roran Slytherin, I have to be perfect and do everything his way.
I have been doing fairly well the past few years. After my last fun ghatering I have been behaving very well. I'm tired of my father' shit. I just behave like he wants me to and things go better.
He still doesn't love me or anything, but at least he doesn't feel the need to tell me every day what kind of excuse of his son I am. He still hits me from time to timew but it a lot less than it used to be.
I have the feeling that I am finally getting through him, and he maybe will be proud of me, ever. In the future. The distant future.
And if I have to go to dull ghaterings and be nice to people who treat me like shit, then it'll be so.
I am set on deserving my father's pride.
The ghatering goes smoothly, I talk to some important people with my parents by my side.
It's all the same kind of questions. They ask what I like to do. As if they care.
It's all pretend. We are in a room of people that don't even like each other. The only thing they want is money, pride and showing that they are better than everyone else here.
And they may play nice but if something would happen, or you make a mistake they would be the first to point it out. Nobody actually cares about me how much they like to pretend with things like "I'm glad you're still in good health." or "What nice to see you again, it's been too long." Because it's not. The moment the ghatering is done, and they walk out of that door, they don't think about me again until they walk in again the following year. They don't care about me, my parents or even their own family most of the time.
There are only a few loving families that actually care for each other. And it's hard to tell who these are.
The Ravenclaws are constantly smiling, but if you watch closely, they are throwing each other murderous looks when they think no one is watching.
But if anyone would ask them if there is something wrong (which they would never do because they don't care) they would deny and say they love each other.
They rather spend their life hating each other and living with each other than admitting to these people that they failed. That they don't work. That it just wasn't a match. It would surprise me if it wasn't an arranged marriage.
It's not well-known, everyone denies it and say they are married out of love. But I am certain that more than half of this room are arranged marriage's. Even when everyone tells each other that love is the most important thing in the world. But it's not. It's money. What are you with love? Love doesn't give you food, it doesn't give you a place to sleep, it doesn't give you respect. Without money, people just see someone poor. Someone that doesn't matter. They will never even glance at you. They will not acknowledge your existence. They will not listen to you, even if what you have to say is important.
You are nothing with lo
ve, only money will give you a chance in this world. It's time to eat. This is important because the person you sit next to will be your talking partner for the next three hours.
It is a ridiculous long dinner and after that is an after party that last until over midnight.
This ghatering is always way too long.
My parents are already searching seats for us. I end up sitting next to a lady that I guess is in her sixties. I'm not sure, but I think she has a lot of daughters. Maybe even from my age. I think so, that's why my parents sat me next to her.
She starts talking to me, "You are the Slytherin son, am I right?" She says it like she doesn't already know. But I know she does. Her eyes wander over me, she looks at my clothes my face. It makes me really uncomfortable, but she is just guessing what kind of person I am. Good she will never know, because this is not who I am. But who I am, I think that even I don't know.
I flash one of my most charmant smiles and say. "Yeah I am." "
No brothers or sisters?" I get this question a lot. But people do like that I am an only child.
Because this means that when they marry someone off to me, I will inherit the whole family fortune and I don't have to share with any siblings. Of course, I would get the most as the firstborn. But my siblings would also get their fair share.
"No, just me."
"You don't look very smart, did you have good schooling?" It's not very uncommon for people to be rude. Most of the time, I just grit through my teeth and say nothing. But it's hard, I hate it when people do that. They want to make me look like a fool. But two can play this game. Only... I feel my father's eyes on me. So I swallow my pride and keep smiling.
"I did have some tutors, I can do quite a lot of magic."
"So your studies focussed on magic? No poetries? No defence?"
"Well, I have read a lot from our private library and I know a lot of defence magic."
She nods. While she is talking, I look at the other people at the table.
I see the Ravenclaws pretending they love each other.
The Snaters talking to their daughter, she is very young and can't sit still on a stool yet. But I see they are going for the hard approach and scold her and shame her for being a child.
The Lerars children are saying poetry from the top of their head, which I think is a quite impressive, but useless skill. It only shows that you have a good memory. But in this world that means almost nothing.
And then I see a pair of brown eyes and I make eye contact. I am looking in Helga's eyes, and suddenly I feel more at ease than I have all evening. We never talk to the Hufflepuffs except to greet them. We talk to them every day. This ghatering is for new people to meet, to marry your children to.
Helga sees me too and she smiles at me. I smile back at her. Helga never fails to make me smile. She just calms my nerves just by looking in her eyes.
The woman stops talking to me and follows my eyeline.
"Ugh, that Huffelpuf girl needs to lose some weight, what is she even doing here eating? Shouldn't she at least try to have a more feminine form."
My head snaps back at her. She can insult me as much as she wants. But she stays away from Helga. Before I even have a chance to say something back, she falls.
The legs of her chair are gone. "
Ah." She lets's out a small shreak. Suddenly a silence falls and everyone is looking at her.
My dad stands up and takes his wand.
"Reparto." He says. The chair repairs itself, but it's still a bit wonky. I take my hand and try again, but wordless, I have been working hard on that.
I repear the chair with more success. Wands are really expensive, and I don't have one. Maybe I will get one in the future if my dad thinks I'm ready for it.
Some people start applauding, but the most of them just start murmuring, asking each other what happened and why.
My father looks at me and as soon as I make eye contact I know that he knows it was me.
He goes to the hall and I follow him in silence.
I'm really scared. He normally waits until we're home. And that after all the progress I've made. Sure there have been some conflicts but none this bad.
When we're out of earshot, he starts talking to me with a stern voice.
"What the hell did you think!"
"I couldn't control it, it was an emotional thing." "Only children have emotional outbursts. Are you a child, Salazar? Do you want me to treat you like one? 'Cause if you're not going to act like a SIXTEEN-year-old boy, I will not treat you as one."
He takes his wand out and mutters something, I think he doesn't want me to hear what it is, afraid I'm gonna use it against him.
My whole body starts hurting. It's like someone has taken some knives and started carving large cuts everywhere. In my chest my legs, my arms. Everywhere except my head.
I see blood coming through my clothes.
"Please, stop." I beg.
"Make it stop, please. I'll do better, I promise, but please stop." Tears are coming down. I can't stop them any more. It HURTS.
He has never used magic before to punish me.
"Stop acting like a child, playtime is over Salazar you are a Slytherin, start acting like it."
"Yeah I will, but PLEASE make it stop."
"I don't think you understand. You never do, every time you just disappoint me again. I'm sick of your shit, Salazar. I am no longer going to accept it. You will not set a foot out of line, or you are gonna be real sorry."
"Please father." My voice is barely a whisper. I think I'm going to pass out.
The pain stops, but the wounds keep bleeding.
He leaves.
He leaves?
He just leaves.
He's just gone.
I- what's happening. He can't leave me alone. I don't know how to heal these wounds. I can fix normal wounds, but these are not only magical, but I guess it's also dark magic. I think I will be lucky if it doens't scar.
I try to stop the bleeding, I try everything. But ten minutes later, I'm still bleeding. I now begin to worry about the blood I've lost. I am starting to feel a little dizzy.
I start to panic, what if I pass out here on the floor and someone finds me.
That would be mortifying. I would be so embarrassed.
The door opens. I see the daughter of the Ravenclaws walking in. Oh, this is gonna be fun.
When she sees me, her eyes widen.
"I saw your dad coming back, and I wondered where you were." She says.
"I'm not really good at magic, so I will need your help. Can you do that for me? Can you perform magic?" She asks.
I nod, "Yeah, I think I will be able to do some magic." I say. My voice is raspy and the edges of my vision start to blur a little.
"Try sanacut." She says.
Nothing happens.
"See if compagepallis works."
Nothing happens.
"Uhmm suctionis potentia"
I try it. It feels like there is a weight lifted off my chest, but the wounds keep bleeding.
"I felt something like, there was something in me, and now it's not."
"Good, now try all the spells you've tried before. You know, basic healing spells."
I don't think it will work, but I don't have a better plan.
The first spell starts working, and I keep going until I feel no pain any more.
"Thank you." I say. I smile at her.
"I'm Rowena, by the way."
"Salazar." I say
"What did it do?" I ask. I need to know this for the future.
"Well, since none of the spells were working, I thought that maybe that was because something was preventing it from healing. So I let you summon the dark magic that was in your wounds and when that was gone, it was pretty easy. Besides, I've done nothing, you've done all the hard parts."
"Thank you, I wouldn't have been able to do this without you."
She smiles back. I see in that smile what she doesn't say. But she doesn't ask anything about it, and I am grateful for that.
There is still a lot of blood on my clothes.
"Could you take the blood of mu clothes? My magic core is low, and I have lost a lot of blood, I know if I can do it."
She looks awkward. "I really can't do a lot of magic, I read about it, but I don't actually perform it. But I can go get someone who knows how to use magic?"
"No other people." This is embarrassing enough as it is.
We stand here for a while, while I'm trying to think of a solution. I can't walk in like this, my father will maybe actually murder me.
I see that I only have one option. There goes my pride again, as if I had some left.
"Fine, but pick someone who will discreet about it, please."
"Of course." She gives me a small smile.
"I'm sorry this is happening to you." She says before she goes away.
While I stand there, I try to calm my nerves a bit. I wish Helga could be here, she would be a comfort. But my father would notice if she disappeared. And I don't want to get her into trouble.
The door opens and a blonde boy walks in. I recognize him immediately. He looks up, and I know he recognizes me too.
Then he looks at my clothes.
"What happened?" He asks shocked.
I want the ground to just swallow me up. Please, anything but this. What did I do to deserve this?
"I- can you fix it please?"
He just nods.
He starts wiping away the blood with magic. I could've done it faster but at least he actually wipes the blood away, he could've totally sucked too.
"I see my lessons have worked then." I mutter. I don't dare talking louder, it's a miracle I have said anything at all. I'm not the talking type. But I just couldn't say nothing, after all these years.
"Yeah, I've been practising." He says with a smile.
It feels like old friends reuniting, but I know that is not what this is. I haven't talked to him in years. And it was amper friendship, we were just the only people that weren't boring or mean.
"What's your name." He asks.
"Salazar." I say.
"Yours?"
"I'm Goderic."
He goes on his knees to do my legs.
"Where do you live?" I blant out. I can punch myself. Why do I have to be so awkward.
"I live in a castle. You?"
"An estate." He hasn't given an exact location, either.
"What does your room look like?" I don't know why I keep asking questions, it feels as like I never got to ask them and now is my only chance. What it probably is.
"Curious are we?" He says, but he is still smiling.
"I think a room tells a lot about what kind of person someone is." I state.
"I have red walls and red curtains. Then I have a big bed that's made of a dark brown wood." He starts explaining his room in detail. And I'm grateful for that because I need a distraction from his hands on my legs.
"All done."
"Thank you, I don't know what I would've done without your help."
"It's nothing, I got to practise some magic."
I smile.
"Thank Rowena for me too, will you?" I say. He nods.
And then he goes out of the door. I stay a bit behind. We don't want to go in together and I will have to face my father again.
When I go back inside, no one notices. But I see Rowena flashing an easy smile at me. She is really observant.
I go sit beside Helga for the rest of the evening, and I only talk to Helga. I have enough of old ladies and my parents. I fall into an easy conversation with Helga and I feel at ease.
What Rowena and Goderic did for me was really kind. I can't help but feel thankful for them.
The next morning, I'm heading to Helga's house. Her parents welcome me with great smiles. At least they are happy to see me. In contrast to my father, who hasn't said a word to me since the punishment.
Helga and I have a wonderful morning and after lunch we are heading for the horses when Helga asks "What happened yesterday? Suddenly I couldn't see you any more, and then you come sit next to me, and I know your dad would hate that."
I want to shrug and say it's nothing important, but one look in her eyes and the whole story comes out.
About how scared I was and how embarrassed.
And she listens.
And when I start crying because of what my father said, she wraps her arms around me and gives me a Helga hug.
She just holds me and I feel good. I feel safe with Helga. No judgement. And no mean words.
She just hugs me and says nothing. But I know she understands.
I leave out the part where the old lady was body-shaming her, and just say she said something mean.
When I go home that evening, I feel a lot better.
Helga always makes me feel better. But when I'm walking home, it's not Helga I think about. It's not my father. It's Goderic. Since I met him again yesterday, the boy doens't seem to leave my head. I couldn't sleep last night because of him.
I don't know what's up. But I just can't stop thinking about him. How easy it felt. Nothing felt forced. And he smiled. Oh, his smile.
I don't know, but something about his smile just feels good. Easy.
I think about how he described his room, and I start to think about it. I envision his whole room, I feel it in every part of me. In every part of my body. And I feel the evening sun still a little on my skin. I turn around to feel it.
And BENG I feel like I'm being put in a tiny tube. And when I open my eyes, I am in the air.
When I look below me, I see something red. And then I fall on that something red.
Luckily for me, it's soft.
When I look around, I see someone sitting at a bureau writing something with their back to me. Not for long, though. Because he turns around and then sees me.
"What the hell are you doing here?" Goderic exclaims.