Chapter 12
Chapter 12
A Hard Few Days
May came fast, and before they knew it they were being told to be at the Quidditch pitch at 9 o'clock. He, Fleur, and Cedric, went down together at 8:30.
"What d'you reckon it's going to be?" Cedric asked.
"Probably underground tunnels. Treasure hunting!" Fleur declared. Hadrian laughed and glanced at Cedric.
"I'll bring a Niffler." He and Cedric had done a Care of Magical Creatures unit on Nifflers. They found shiny things like gold underground or anywhere.
"What've they done to it?" Cedric gaped as they approached the field. The smooth pitch was gone, replaced by many low walls of curling and wild looking grass and branches. They circled and twisted and grew spanning the entire length of the field.
"They're hedges." Hadrian said, kicking a nearby one disdainfully. They were only about a foot tall at the most but the Tournament was weeks away…
"Hello there!" Bagman popped out, beaming. He stood with Krum in the center of the field. "Well, what d'you think?" He asked happily as the three headed over, carefully stepping over some more hedges.
"Ruining a good pitch is what I think." Hadrian muttered darkly.
"Growing nicely, aren't they? Give them a month and Hagrid'll have them twenty feet high." He spotted Cedric's horrified face and Hadrian's scowl. "Don't worry, you'll have your Quidditch field back to normal once the task is over! Now I imagine you can guess what we're making here?" He beamed at them all.
"Maze." Krum grunted sulkily.
"That's right! A maze!" Bagman grinned easily. "The third task's really straightforward. The Triwizard Cup will be placed at the center of the maze. The first Champion to touch it will receive full marks."
"We simply have to get through the maze?" Fleur asked doubtfully, glancing at the hedges.
"There will be obstacles." Bagman explained, bouncing excitedly on his toes. "Hagrid is providing a number of creatures, there will be spells that must be broken, all that sort of thing, you know. Now, the Champions leading on points will get a head start in the maze." He grinned at Hadrian. "You will enter first, Mr. Diggory going second, and Mr. Krum will enter next, Miss Delacour last. But you'll all be in with a fighting chance, depending how well you get past the obstacles. Should be fun, eh?"
Hadrian suddenly remembered the Blast-Ended-Skrewts and wondered if letting that Hagrid guy stock the maze was such a good idea. He remained silent, like the others.
"Very well, if you haven't got any questions, we'll go back up to the castle, shall we, it's a bit chilly." He bounced off happily with the Champions behind him.
Hadrian blinked after him and shrugged, following. He didn't give much thought to the maze in all honesty. It was mostly luck, as long as you knew the right spells. He was the same level as Fleur, and higher than Cedric. He was confident he'd do fine.
A few days later Hadrian was in History, minding his own business, when his scar started to tingle in a pins-and-needle kind of way. He winced and tried to push it away, hoping it would stop. It didn't, and he realized what was happening as pictures flashed in his peripheral vision. He was reminded of the summertime, and knew it was a Horcrux vision. Hadrian knew he needed somewhere private and stood abruptly, knocking over his chair.
"Sorry Professor." He apologized, not knowing or caring if the ghost noticed the disturbance. Hadrian stumbled out the door and sprinted down the hallway, ignoring the shouts from the Slytherins he'd been with.
He leaned against a wall a few corridors away and slid down it, face in his knees, panting from pushing the vision away. He shut his eyes and found himself somewhere else. He recognized the scene, it being the same room as before. Voldemort was still hidden by a chair, and Wormtail was sobbing on a carpet in front of the same hearth as before.
"You are in luck, Wormtail. You are very fortunate indeed. Your blunder has not ruined everything. He is dead." The high pitched voice of Voldemort said as Wormtail sobbed.
"My Lord! I am.. I am so pleased! And, so sorry!" The man shrieked shrilly.
"Nagini, you are out of luck. I will not be feeding Wormtail to you, after all... But nevermind, nevermind. There is still Harry Potter… somewhere… " Voldemort breathed, "Now, Wormtail, perhaps one more little reminder why I will not tolerate another blunder from you." The voice sounded coldly amused.
"My Lord, no, I beg you..."
"Crucio!" Voldemort ordered, wand pointed at Wormtail.
Hadrian's eyes snapped open as the screaming started, and he heard it ringing in his ears around and around and around. He gasped and tried to cover his ears but the screaming continued, such agony, and it grated his eardrums almost painfully.
"Hadrian!" He flinched violently at Draco's yell. He and Theo were running up to him, and they had his stuff. They weren’t even in his class, a 5th year Slytherin must’ve tracked them down. "Hadrian what happened, are you okay?" His vision swam a little, the hallway becoming the carpeted hearth, Draco becoming a screaming Wormtail even with his eyes open.
"Flashback." He gritted out as an excuse. "PTSD. Sorry." He then shut his eyes and firmly focused on covering his ears. The screaming continued, and soon Hadrian was gripping his hair as hard as he could. A hand soon grabbed Hadrian’s wrist, a soft hand not tough from years on a broomstick, and he knew it was Theo. The boy pulled Hadrian's hand away from where it dug into his scalp painfully.
"You need to go to Madam Pomfrey." Hadrian shook his head. She couldn’t help, Hadrian knew that. "The Hospital Wing, Hadrian. Hospital." He repeated. Hadrian sighed, wincing at the sound.
He stood wobbly, eyes unfocused, as Draco led the way and Theo held tight to Hadrian’s hand. He wondered if Dumbledore had the right idea blocking the Horcrux. Would this have happened otherwise? Would it have been worse? Was it a punishment for housing too much soul in one body?
Hadrian’s vision still flashed with images, ears ringing with cruel, high pitched laughter, mingling with the screams. He wasn't paying attention to where Theo was leading him but the warmth of his hand was comforting. There was a fire in the hearth, it was warm too. He could almost feel it on his face, burning like Wormtail's screams…
"Oh dear, what's happened?" That must be Poppy Pomfrey.
"He called it a PTSD Flashback." Theo reported. Hadrian tried to focus.
"I'm fine." He gritted out. He winced at the harsh sound of his own voice in his ears. "It'll go away." In theory. He'd been asleep for the last one, so, he truthfully had no idea. He wasn't going to tell her that though. The woman approached and led him to a bed where he sat absently. The Slytherins followed like little confused ducklings.
"What do you see? Hear?" She asked. Hadrian gritted his teeth, trying to focus on lying while telling the truth. He was dizzy, head pounding in sync with Wormtail’s screams.
"Screaming, screaming, screaming and laughing." He said, staring at the wall. "A dark room, carpet, fire, pain." He blinked, the hearth he recognized burning in front of him until the woman snapped her fingers and he could see she was staring right at him. Her image blurred and he blinked his eyes rapidly.
"Who is screaming?" She asked, "Who is laughing?" He didn't answer, staring blankly at the wall.
"What's wrong with him?" Draco asked anxiously. "Is he broken or something?"
"Not broken, lost." Hadrian said immediately. "Lost in the screaming." Theo made an odd noise. It twisted into screaming as Wormtail sobbed in his head, pain radiating from the sound like a spear through his ears.
The screams changed to muffled sobbing, flashes of Wormtail crying on the floor and begging for mercy. Voldemort's laughter rang through the room and Hadrian covered his ears again. He only succeeded in blocking out the muffled voices he could hear from the medwitch. Wormtail was twitching, after effects of the Cruciatus curse making his hands shake and voice wobble; Hadrian shuddered and he knew Wormtail would have permanent damage.
"Sobbing." He whispered, "Sobbing and crying and screaming and falling." His vision flashed black again, into the dark room, and he caught a glimpse of shocked blood red eyes looking at green ones before Hadrian's vision faded completely into unconsciousness.
He woke up in the hospital wing, eyes a little bleary. He blinked into the light, and sat up. He heard a gasp, and noticed Fred was sitting at the end of his bed.
"Fred?" He said sleepily. "What's going on?"
"Hadrian!" Fred lunged forward and hugged him, suddenly and tightly. "Everyone was so worried! Especially after Hermione explained PTSD, you should've seen Malfoy's face!"
"Ah, Muggle-born. I'd forgotten." He said blinking as he was released from the hug. "Don't worry, it almost never happens." He reassured his Weasley. It was true, he hadn’t had a communication since before the school year, and it had been the first.
Madam Pomfrey rushed over. "You've been asleep all day, it's past dinner. I was about to kick Mr. Weasley out but he insisted on staying until curfew." She scowled at the boy disapprovingly. "Honestly, getting in the way of my patients...."
"Can I go back to my carriage then? I feel fine." He interrupted. The woman looked hesitant.
"Do you need to talk about it? Traumatic flashbacks can have lasting effects..." She trailed off, eyeing him.
"I don't need a therapist, I'm good." He nodded curtly and moved to stand. His shoes were on the floor and he slipped into them. "Thank you for your help Madam Pomfrey." He then rushed off with Fred in tow.
"Those Slytherins said you could hear screaming." Fred murmured as Hadrian slowed down, still holding hands.
"I could." Hadrian confirmed blankly.
"Do you wanna talk about it?" Fred's eyes flicked uncertainly to his. Hadrian thought about it before realizIng he didn't really have to lie.
"My Muggle Uncle used to say he could beat the magic out of me." Hadrian smiled ruefully. "My Aunt said I was a freak, a curse on her normal family." Fred's hand tightened in his. "My cousin had two bedrooms, and I slept in the cupboard under the stairs. I was locked in there without any meals if they ever thought I did anything wrong." Hadrian had spent so long in the small cupboard, sometimes, he had to sneak out for food or he'd have starved.
"That's not right." Fred said passionately.
"I know." Hadrian said wistfully. "I hardly ever think of them anymore. Except some occasions." He forced a small laugh. "When I was a baby, two or three, they'd lock me in the cupboard and just let me scream into the dark. They never answered me unless it was to tell me to shut up, and to pretend I didn't exist." He came to a stop as they reached the courtyard and took Fred's other hand, clasping them in between them. “I used to think that was all I’d ever get to do. Scream into the dark, trying to remember that I was alive.” Hadrian had let those thoughts go in his third year, when he'd made friends and accepted that he wasn't alone and he was away from them. Forever.
“You lived there until you were 11?” Fred’s voice was broken as he asked. Hadrian brought their intertwined hands upwards, tracing their knuckles with his free hand. He smiled.
“Yeah. I didn’t even know what they were doing was wrong back then.” He admitted. “It took years for me to accept that what I went through wasn’t normal, or okay.” Hadrian looked up to meet Fred’s eyes. They were wide, and devastated.
"I don't know what to say." Fred whispered.
"Don't say anything." Hadrian let go of Fred's hand to touch his cheek softly. Hadrian went up on his tiptoes, and pressed their foreheads together softly. "Just let me remind myself that everything is okay now."
He let go of Fred's face, but they stayed like that. Fred's hands found Hadrian's waist, Hadrian setting a hand on Fred’s chest, and they stood together in silence while Hadrian breathed, grounding himself.
Hadrian breathed in the cold evening air. There was no burning hearth.
Hadrian felt Fred’s steady heartbeat under his fingers. There was no panic.
Hadrian listened to the soft wind and far off chatter of students. There was no screaming.
Hadrian felt Fred's fingers holding his waist as if he was the most precious of gems. Voldemort could not have him.
He finally smiled, and leaned back ever so slightly to rub his nose across Fred's affectionately.
"Goodnight Fred." He murmured. Hadrian then turned away and headed for his carriage, only turning back to wave for a moment before shutting the door. Even if it wasn't exactly the truth about his little 'episode', Hadrian felt lighter inside somehow. The last thing he glimpsed was Fred’s flushed face, a match to Hadrian’s own.
Hadrian's schedule in May was significantly emptier than his peers' class loads. He'd finished Defense right on time in March, and Charms in April. He was moved to Potions Year 7, while Astronomy became Year 6 and Transfiguration became Year 5. He still had Care of Magical Creatures in 6th, Herbology in 5th, and History in 5th; but that was it for core lessons. He'd been pulled into Ancient Runes as an elective, but those were only once weekly because he took it with the third year Ravenclaws.
That made 3 Masteries: Flying, Charms, and Defense. Fleur had congratulated him, but the Hogwarts students had been too stunned to do anything but gawk when he told them.
Since Hadrian had no classes, he was left to wander the grounds the next day. He brought no book, no broom, simply outside for the sake of walking, looking for the sake of seeing, and listening for the sake of hearing.
The sky was gray, white clouds drifting to cover the sun. Grass covered hills were yellowish, still half dead from a snow heavy winter season. The ground keeper's hut had a trail of smoke above it, drifting upwards in a delicate stream that tippered out the higher it went, dispersing into nothing. Sticks and crisp grass crinkled under Hadrian's boots as he walked, pebbles digging into the soles uncomfortably. He spotted the dug up patch of ground, used in the Niffler lesson for Care of Magical Creatures.
The Forbidden Forest was dark to his right, branches glaring at him, twisted and sharp. The sunlight did not pierce the treetops, such darkness lingering there, while ominous mist curled around the tree trunks. Hadrian wondered what secrets a forest such as that could hold. Did snakes lie in wait for people to pass by, hiding under roots until the opportune moment? What kind of beasts called such a place home, living in darkness with the mist and the shadows? Did werewolves linger there, growling and hiding, unable to venture out of the wood? Did unicorns make their lives in such a place, among snakes and beasts and werewolves, remaining pure and untouched? Were there Thestrals between the trees, lurking and hiding until someone who sees death ventures forth?
Hadrian did not want to know, did not want to see. Not really. He turned away from the temptation.
He could see the castle, spiraling towers lit with lights from classrooms and bright turrets he longed to see with such high up rooms. What turret held the Gryffindor dormitories, where his Weasleys slept and stayed and lived up high, so very high above the rest of the castle? Where was Ravenclaw Tower, said to capture the best view in all of Hogwarts, and what did it look upon?
The Black Lake shone, and Hadrian couldn’t help but think of home. He wondered if the Lake back at Beauxbaton was being used by Jaecen and Amelie in his absence. Was their Swan happy, gliding across making ripples through the water? Who was riding his horse for lessons, taking care of her and giving her the attention she needs? Was she just sitting there, futilely waiting for him to return, missing him, wondering just where had he gone?
"Hadrian?" He looked up from his pondering to see Draco walking up, watching him. "What're you doing? I looked for you in the library."
"I'm going for a walk." Hadrian said wistfully. "Does the sky look sad to you, too, Draco?" The blond stopped next to Hadrian, eyes searching for what Hadrian saw and not finding it.
"No." He eyed his cousin. "Maybe it's just you that’s sad." Hadrian sighed.
“I don’t have any classes.” He smiled ruefully. “I got… bored.” Draco frowned.
"That’s alright. Why not go flying? Jump in the lake?" Hadrian shook his head.
"No, I'll walk, thanks." He continued walking and Draco didn't follow. Hadrian did smile however, the sky looking a little less gray and the grass looking a little more green. Hogwarts might not be home, but it was a nice place to be after all.
A week after that, Cedric stared at him from a few feet away, arms crossed. "Seriously? I remember how cold this Lake is, no way!" Hadrian laughed.
"It's not so bad, come on." He held out a hand to the sulking brunette with a raised brow. "Not scared, are you?"
Cedric glared at the Black Lake, feet not leaving the dry bank. "You've been attacked by Grindylows six times." Cedric accused, crossing his arms. "That's not even counting the Second Task! I have no idea how they never got me, and I'm not risking it now."
"C'mon, that only happens when I go to one of the grass meadows or kelp zones. Grindylows don't leave their habitats." He grinned. "Just a short swim, please?" Cedric sighed and wadded into the water, teeth gritted.
"It's still freezing!" He pointed out as he came to where Hadrian stood, hip deep.
"It's warmer than it was in February." Hadrian said brightly. Cedric wasn't impressed.
The two boys ventured further, Hadrian occasionally diving down while Cedric treaded water at the surface, pouting dramatically. Hadrian popped up and splashed him as they neared the center of the lake.
"Hey!" Cedric cried, wiping water out of his eyes. "So mean." He gave a grin that Hadrian counted as a win.
With a laugh, Hadrian splashed him again. "Can't keep up, gorgeous?" Cedric's face broke out in a grin.
"You're going to pay for that!" He swam at Hadrian who dove under. To his extreme surprise, Cedric dove after him.
Cedric chased him as they played water tag. Hadrian surfaced, laughing, while the other boy sputtered and brushed damp bronze strands out of his face. With matching grins Cedric chased Hadrian in circles, laughing all the way.
Hadrian had brought Cedric to the lake during their break period for exactly that reason. Hadrian was reminded too heavily that sometimes life was difficult. Sometimes the sky is sad and the grass is dull, and Hadrian wanted to see his friends laugh. He never tired of his friends’ happiness: seeing small smiles and whooping laughter from Cedric; whispered special moments and wicked grins from Fred; glares at books and blissful joy from Theo; soft worry and playful scowls from Draco. He only wished he'd continue seeing it, even after he returned to Beauxbaton.