Screwed the Pooch
Sirius was fucked, utterly screwed, botched. If this was Quidditch, he would be fouled. But it wasn’t Quidditch. No, these were emotions, real, living, shitty emotions. Merlin, he was gonna kill James Potter.
It had started that summer. Ever since Sirius had moved in with the Potters, James and him were spending every moment together. If this was what a loving family was like, Sirius never wanted to leave. Except for the fact that he missed Remus (“And Peter.” James reminded).
Sirius loved the Potters, he loved James, but it wasn’t the same. Sure, James was his brother (even though his constant talk of a certain red-head made Sirius slightly murderous), but Moony understood him in a way no one could.
The two boys had decided to take a hike and explore the woods near James’s house, after being kicked out by a pissed Ms. Potter. The forest was beautiful, vibrant green moss covering the logs and trees. Birds sang at each other and sunlight made the whole wood warm. It was like a fairytale.
James had been talking about Lily again, yelling poetry about her ‘flowing red locks.’
“I just want to braid her hair, Pads!” He screamed. “Do you think it’s soft? I bet it’s soft. And it smells like strawberries!!! I love strawberries.”
“Prongs, for the love of all magic, please shut up. I can’t take it anymore.” Sirius snapped, pulling his hair back in a ponytail. Sweat beaded his forehead, as the two trudged on.
James turned around, “This is what you get for talking about Moony all the time. Consider this your punishment.”
Sirius blanched back, “I do not talk about Moony. Not nearly as much as you talk about Evans.”
“Suuuurrrrrrreeeeeee.” James called, turning back to the trail. Sirius flipped him the bird, swearing slightly as he stumbled on a tree root.
“I do not,” He called ahead. “I just worry about him, ya know, with the moons and his dad…”
“We all worry about him,” James reminded, stopping to let Sirius catch up. “Wormy and I just don’t talk about him constantly.”
Sirius felt a pang of worry in his gut. Did he talk about Remus too much? Was it annoying? Oh merlin, Sirius was annoying…
“Hey Pads. Stop worrying you git. I don't care if you talk about Remus a lot,” James was suddenly gripping his shoulders, holding Sirius in place. “It’s fine, okay. Really. I mean, I just worry for Pete’s sanity between the two of us talking our heads off.”
Sirius relaxed at those words, which gave James the incentive to run ahead. “You really don’t think I talk about Moony too much?”
“Of course not. I mean it makes sense, with your crush on him.” James stated when Sirius told him as much, not even turning around to look at Sirius. He stumbled, as James bounded over a fallen log, with the grace of his animagus form. “I mean, I do the same thing with Lily. It’s only natural-”
“I do not,” Sirius cried, trying to keep up. “Have a crush on him, I mean. Like I said, I just worry and I mean, since we both have fucked up familes, while you and Wormtail don’t. I’m just closer to him in that regard. I don’t have a crush.”
“Okay Pads. Whatever you say.” And the conversation ended there.
___________________________________________________________________________
In the week before school started, Sirius didn’t sleep, the conversation playing over and over in his head. He didn’t like Remus. No, he couldn’t, he wasn’t gay. And what would his mother think…
The days passed quickly as seventh year inched closer and closer. Peter came over at one point and the three played football in the neighboring field. Sirius tried not to mention Remus, and though James didn’t show it, Sirius could tell he was worried.
It all came crashing down the day James got the letter. They were both eating breakfast, when the Potter owl, a large, old, brown thing, crashed into the window.
The boys jumped, with Sirius spilling over the juice and James catching it before it crashed. Euphemia ran to the window, quickly untying the wad of letters that were weighing the poor owl down.
Most of them were bills and magazines for the parents, but both James and Sirius received a letter, albeit James’ being bigger.
“Must be your Hogwarts schedules,” Euphimeia fretted, dishing up more pancakes for all. Sirius tore into his, relieved to see that his schedule hadn’t changed.
“Don’t need anything new, apparently,” He reported. “All textbooks are being provided by the school.” She looked confused at this but didn’t question it, as James let out a shriek.
“Oi, watch it Prongs. My ears almost fell off.” Sirius snapped. He stopped though at the stunned look on his brother’s face. “James, what is it?”
“Holy shit- sorry mum,” his eyes darted comically behind his glasses towards his glaring mother. “It, it says I’m head boy.”
Sirius dropped the glass he was holding, mouth agape. No one moved.
“WHAT?! But-but you weren’t a prefect, that’s against the rules!” Sirius shouted.
“I know, I know!!” James shouted back, hopping up and down. “I don’t want to be head boy!!! I’m not a rule follower! This should be Moony, he’s better at all that.”
Sirius tore the letter out of James’ hands, wanting to read it for himself.
Dear Mr. James Fleamont Potter,
As you know, in seventh year, a head boy and girl must be chosen. Now, normally this honor would go to a pre-existing prefect, but it has been brought to my attention that you deserve this role.
Someone believes that you would excel at this job, becoming a better head boy than anyone else. Now, believe me when I say, I believe in you Mr. Potter. As do your teachers and head of house.
You have matured greatly in your time at Hogwarts, helping those you believe deserve it. I have seen how you’ve helped Mr. Black with his family, Mr. Pettigrew with his confidence and Mr. Lupin with his condition.
It has been a pleasure to watch you grow and therefore, I am excited to watch you excel as head boy.
Good luck,
Albus Dumbledore
“Was it you?” James asked, appearing beside Sirius. “Did you tell Professor Dumbledor it should be me?”
Sirius shook his head. “No, I haven’t. I didn’t even think about it. Always thought Moony would be head boy.” James looked thoughtful, eyebrows creased as he pondered.
“Well, it doesn’t matter now,” He shrugged. “Hey Pads, do you think I’ll get to spend more time with Lily? Oh, was she the one who suggested me?”
James prattled on and on, never shutting up about Lily, the letter long forgotten. Both boys spent the day packing, playing one last round of Quidditch. They’d worn themselves out, stopping by to see Peter down the road.
Peter had been surprised by the news, but adapted quickly, the two boys already plotting how to use it to their advantage.
“Holy shit, we have two men on the inside. We’ll be unstoppable!” Peter cried, balancing on a fence.
“Think of all the pranks!” James laughed, slapping Peter on the back, making the smaller boy fall off.
_____________________________________________________________________________
Eventually the sun set, Sirius shooing James out of his room so they could sleep. His trunk was all packed, waiting by the door for the next day.
Sirius scrambled into bed, exhaustion filling him. As Sirius felt himself drift off, he let his thoughts wander over to Remus. He wished they could’ve hung out that summer, but Lyall was getting more and more paranoid, never letting Remus out of the house. He wondered how the taller boy was doing, how he felt about not being head boy. Probably relieved. Remus never thought he deserved the honor because of his condition.
‘It’s for the best,’ Sirius thought. ‘Now we can hang out more without James being a git.’
The thought hit him just as Sirius slipped into a state of unconsciousness.
Holy shit, I have a crush on Remus.