Planned Accidents

- August 15th

Regulus was confused. Really confused. He had never thought of James in a romantic way. He was just his brothers attractive best friend, and also his brothers brother? It was very confusing. Sirius had explained that while Regulus was his brother, James was also his brother, but in a platonic soulmate type of way. Regulus did understand, kind of. He thought that was how him and Bartys relationship was like, only it would be weird to call him brother since they had done stuff brothers definitely shouldn’t do with each other. 

Regulus had known he didn’t like girls since he was 12. He hadn’t liked it in the beginning, but he had accepted it. He had also told his friends, who had been very supportive. This made Regulus comfortable, he often expressed how he thought someone was attractive or told them about the few snogs he’d had. Which was why Barty had been comfortable with telling Regulus about his very confusing feelings. 

- November, 1976

In November during a party last year, a very drunk Barty had came up to a very drunk Regulus and dragged him into their dormroom. It had been empty so it was only them and Evans cat in the room. Barty had locked the door and looked at Regulus. Regulus could see how he looked very conflicted in his thoughts. “What’s wrong?” he’d asked. “I- I don’t know? Regulus I am so confused.” was all he had said before sitting down on the bed with his head in his hands. Regulus furrowed his brows, “What do you mean?” Regulus whispered to match the tone Barty had. “I think- or I- I feel-, no- I don’t know” he still didn’t lift his head from his hands as he groaned in frustration. “Take your time,” Regulus had said as he sat down beside his friend. “How did you know you liked blokes?” he whispered. And then he lifted his head to look into Regulus’ eyes. “Oh,” Regulus definitely hadn’t expected that. “well I just didn’t like girls, the way you or Evan would talk about girls, that was kind of how I felt with blokes,” he tried to explain.

“But Barty, I’m not disregarding your feelings, but I thought you liked girls, with how you talk about them, and look at them, and all that?” Barty sighed, “I do. I do like girls, but-” his voice hitched. He looked like he was going to cry. “I- recently I’ve started looking at blokes, and- I- some blokes, I think makes me feel like some girls do, all fluttery and shit”. Bartys eyes were glazed, he was very not sober. But Regulus also was very not sober. Maybe ever less sober than Barty. So he had the brilliant idea.

“Do you want me to kiss you?” And even though Barty had looked shocked he nodded his head. This was just a favor for a friend, help him figure out his feelings. Barty stayed still, so Regulus leant forward. ‘Close your eyes,’ he whispered. When Barty did Regulus closed the distance.

Barty didn’t move at first, but when he relaxed they both melted into the kiss. Regulus didn’t have feelings for Barty, he really didn’t, but this was a very nice kiss. Their lips moved together, and Regulus lifted his hand to put it on Bartys cheek. Dragging it down and tracing a finger against his jaw, before eventually moving it behind his neck and pulling the hair there. Despite Barty and Evan both being a few months older, taller and more social than him, Regulus had always been the ‘leader’ of their friendship. He didn’t boss them around, but they knew he knew best and they listened to him. Which was why, when Barty moved back to lean against the bedframe, and Regulus had crawled onto his lap Barty let the younger one lead. Regulus pulled the taller ones hair to get a better angle. Their tongues moved together and Bartys hands were on Regulus’ hips, holding him firmly in place. Regulus’ hands were still in Bartys hair, softly pulling it which resulted with a sound coming from Bartys throat. The older moved his mouth to trail kisses down to the youngers neck, scraping his teeth under the latter's ear.

His hands moved to tuck Regulus’ shirt out of his trousers, feeling the warm skin of his back against his palms. Softly dragging his nails from the upper back down to the edge of his trousers. A soft moan was hear from the youngers mouth which was hanging open, soft pants escaping into the cold air of the room. Barty moved his mouth back up after leaving a mark above the youngers collarbone. Their lips touched once again and Regulus couldn’t stop his hips from rolling forward. Both boys moaning into each others mouths at the feeling of the friction. Barty moved down his hands to grab Regulus’ ass. Soft pants turned more aggressive as they moved against each other. “Is this okay?” whispered the younger. Barty nodded, “Yes. Please.” Regulus continued grinding his hips as his mouth moved against Bartys, and his hands traveled from his hair to the buttons of his shirt. Fastly unbuttoning the top ones the get better reach of his neck. Trailing down his kisses to the tallers chest while sucking the skin, leaving marks they would have to hide in the morning. Both pairs of hands trailing over the others bodies while their hips moved in sync, reeling closer to the edge, and finally spilling over with a stifled moan from the older and soft gasps from the other. They stayed like that for some time, foreheads resting against each other. Eventually Regulus went to stand up and cast a cleaning spell on himself then on Barty.

“So?” alcohol still running through his blood. “I definitely like blokes,” Barty said, still panting. “But I also like girls,” he said looking confused. “You can like both,” Regulus answered to the unasked question. Barty nodded, “Bisexual”, Regulus said. “That’s what it’s called”. Barty nodded again, “Well, then I’m bisexual, very bisexual.” Regulus started laughing and sat down on the bed again, Barty soon joined. They both sat there just hysterically laughing for a few minutes until they calmed down. “I don’t have feelings for you. I’m very bisexual and I very much enjoyed that but I don’t like you like that,” Barty said seriously. Regulus looked at him and laughed again, “Well I hope not, this would be extremely uncomfortable otherwise,” They both couldn’t stop smiling. Both had sobered up after the earlier events, but still tipsy. “This won’t make anything weird, right?” Barty asked again. “You being bisexual or us getting off together?” Barty gave a stern look. Regulus laughed “No, not unless you make it weird,”. Barty nodded and smiled.

- August 17th, 1977

That had continued throughout the year, from time to time they would go off somewhere private and snog, sometimes more. It wasn’t romantic, it was purely snogging. Platonically. Evan knew, since he once walked in on them. That had been a nightmare, and it took a lot of convincing for him to finally accept that they weren’t in a relationship. ‘You would make a nice couple, I’m just saying,’ was what he had eventually said. But hadn’t pushed it. Regulus and Barty had decided before the summer that they wouldn’t continue whatever they were when sixth year began. Which was good, since apparently now Regulus had some sort of feelings for James Potter. 

They both had pretended nothing had happened after Regulus told him about the accident two nights ago. Which he was grateful for since it gave him time to think. James went back to ignoring him, except for the occasional glances Regulus caught. 

He wasn’t sure what he was feeling. He knew he thought James was attractive, but everyone thought James was attractive. You were blind if you didn’t. Regulus also knew that he was attracted to James. Which is different from thinking someone is attractive, being attracted to someone is in a way having feelings for someone. But being attracted to someone is also different from liking someone. And that is where Regulus is confused. He had never like someone, not romantically. Regulus had concluded that James had some sort of feelings for him, which made him nervous. When he planned on living here until school, he definitely didn’t count on some sort of feelings for his brothers best friend. Was it feelings?

Regulus was currently sitting on his bed. Staring at the wall. He had been doing so for the past 30 minutes. Just thinking. And sulking. Last night when he was getting ready for bed he noticed that the shirt he slept in, James’ shirt, was gone. He couldn’t find it anywhere. Which he then concluded that he must’ve forgotten to ask the houseelf, Tilly, to not wash it today. It was most likely back in James’ room. It was his shirt after all. Regulus did have his own clothes to sleep in, but he had really gotten attached to the oversized red quidditch shirt. Knock, knock, knock. It wasn’t Sirius, he didn’t knock when he came to Regulus’ room. Regulus stood up and opened the door.

Mrs. Potter stood there with a kind smile. Regulus smiled back, “Hello”. He noticed she was dressed up, she looked very pretty. “Hello Regulus, I just wanted to inform you that me and Fleamont will be going away for dinner and will be back tomorrow evening,” she said kindly. “Oh, of course, is there a special occasion?” he asked. “Oh, just a little celebration with some friends. There will be dinner for you and the other boys so don't worry about that, I think they’re already downstairs,” she smiled again. Regulus nodded and followed her downstairs. They were both quiet, but it was pleasant. Until they came closer to the first floor. Where he could hear three loud voices. He recognized James and Sirius’ voices. But Regulus had been here for 12 days and the third voice definitely wasn’t Mr. Potter. When they entered the room he realised who they were.

The whole Gryffindor group was here. All four of them. Remus Lupin was the only one quiet, he sat in one of the chairs just looking at the other three who were arguing over something. “No! You chose last time, it’s my turn now!” Sirius yelled. “You always choose the worst ones though! I have the best taste here so I should get to pick!” James yelled back. “Oh! You have the best taste? Yeah sure, says the guy who’s been pining over a girl who obviously doesn’t like him for five years!” Sirius countered. “Excuse you! I don’t even like her anymore! I haven't since fifth year!” Sirius laughed. “No I obviously know that because you so clearly like someone else, why won’t you just tell us!”

Peter looked taken aback by the sudden turn of topic and went to sit down on the only available chair. “Sirius-”, “Well maybe I just don’t like anyone, why would that be so hard to believe!”, “Maybe because you’re a shit liar!”, “Sirius-”, “Oh, honestly Sirius, just because I don’t like Lily anymore doesn’t mean that I like someone else!”, “No I know that but you aren’t exactly hiding it! You look so fucking gone everyday, just staring at nothing with this stupid smile and heart eyes!” James quieted at that. “No I don’t,” he mumbled. “Yes you do.” Remus said. James just frowned. “Okay maybe I do, but that has nothing to do with what movie we should watch.” Sirius gasped, “Oh so you admit it now!” Remus sighed, “Sirius, let it go. Let Regulus pick,” Regulus stopped. Not that he had been walking, he had just been standing still at the door, without anyone noticing him. Obviously Remus had since he was now looking at him. The others turned to where Remus was looking and Regulus could see James flush.

“Hello,” Regulus said. Remus and Peter greeted him back while James looked away and Sirius sat down with a grunt. “Fine, Regulus pick a movie. We’re eating in here,” he said. Regulus walked in and sat down beside Sirius on the couch. “I don’t know any movies,” he said. James was still standing by the tv shuffling through something, Regulus wasn’t sure what. “Right, well, then I should get to pick,” Sirius said. “No, you’ll just start fighting again.” Remus said. “Why can’t you choose?” Regulus asked while looking at Remus, he was really tall. Even when he was sitting down it was obvious he was the tallest one in the room. The tall one frowned at Regulus' question.

“Yes!” James exclaimed. “Moony, you’ve never chosen obviously you should get to,” he continued. Sirius just nodded at that with a small smile. The so called Moony looked confused, “ I also don’t know any movies?” Regulus could see him holding a book. Wuthering Heights . A mugglebook. Regulus has read it, he really liked it. “Yes you do.” Sirius said. Remus frowned, “Okay.” he said and went to where James was. He shuffled through the things, Regulus still weren’t sure what they were. Eventually he found what he was looking for and handed it to James who looked confused. “We’ve never seen this before?” he said. Remus nodded. “Exactly.”

James put it in and the tv started. Food popped up on the table as James sat on the couch, beside Regulus. Regulus just stared at the food for a while, Sirius whispered “It’s pizza. You eat it with your hands,” and then took a piece. Regulus did the same and- oh, it was really good. And so they ate while watching the movie none of them had seen. Regulus knew what a TV was, and now he knew that the weird things were called tapes. Eventually they all had finished the food, and it disappeared from the table. Regulus was very comfortably leaning back against the backrest. Sirius was on his left, and James was on his right. Peter and Remus were on armchairs.

The three on the couch were all sharing a big blanket, but eventually Sirius fell asleep and threw it off of himself. The room was dark except for the light from the TV. They had already finished two movies and was now watching the third. James had shuffled closer to Regulus throughout the movies and their shoulders were now touching. Regulus’ both hands were under the blanket and he had lost his focus on the movie, now all he could notice was James little finger which was hooked around his own. But it wasn’t James who had initiated the contact. It was Regulus. Just relax. He took a breath and turned his focus back on the movie. As best as he could at least. 

-

Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. James was freaking out. He felt like he couldn’t breath. A while ago Regulus had hooked his little finger with his own, and James had already calmed down from that panic. Now Regulus head was on his shoulder, sleeping. And James could feel his own heart in his head. Sirius and Remus was asleep. Peter was very into the movie and James was freaking out. He had literally only known Regulus for a week. Not even that because they had barely even spoken. But James was a mess. He had to calm down or his heart would probably wake everyone in the room. He took a breath, and then another, and another. In and out. In. Out. It is fine. I am okay. Just watch the movie. And that was what James did. For around 20 minutes, then he also fell asleep. 

- August 18th, 01.00am

Sirius had fallen asleep after the first movie. It was a talent of his. He wasn’t surprised, he always fell asleep to movies so he and everyone else had expected it. What Sirius hadn’t expected was waking up in the middle of the night to a dark room, and all his friends also sleeping. What he definitely hadn’t expected was his brother and best friend sleeping with their heads on top of each other. Sirius wasn’t sure if he was thinking straight. It was around three am if he would guess. They would all have backaches tomorrow. 

Sirius thought he should wake them. But he really wanted to take a picture of the cuddling idiots. He snuck up to his room to get a camera, and when he came down again Remus was awake. “Hey Moony,” he whispered and put a finger to his lips to signal to be quiet. The camera would make some noise, so he only had one try. He put the camera to his two brothers and pushed the button. It flashed and made the weird sound. Sirius quickly put it away when he saw his James stir. 

“Good moooorniiing,” he sang. James blinked, he looked confused. Then Regulus woke up. “What?” he also looked confused. Sirius smiled mischievously. “We all fell asleep. Some a little more comfortable than others.” Then he turned to Peter who was still sleeping. “PETER!” he yelled. He woke with a jerk. “What! What! What!” he quickly stood up looking around frantically. “Good morning,” Sirius said and gave him most charming smile. “I’m going to sleep in my bed. Good night.” He then turned around with a smile and rushed up.

He quickly snuck to Regulus’ room and put the picture on his bed. Sirius knew his brother didn’t like James, he was pretty sure James didn’t like Regulus either since he’s always avoiding him. But it would be more fun to piss off Regulus. Sirius snuck out again and slowly went to his room. All he could think about was how much he wanted Remus to join him. He got ready in the bathroom and crept into bed. He and James had often shared a bed, but it was different with Remus. It was way different with Remus. Because Sirius wasn’t in love with James Potter. But Sirius was terribly in love with Remus Lupin.

-

Regulus was still sitting on the couch when everyone else had left. He said he would go get a glass of water but he hasn't moved yet. He had slept on James. That is definitely not platonic. Regulus sighed. What have I gotten myself into. He went to stand up, he wasn't actually thirsty so he went upstairs. Peter and Remus were sleeping in two of the guestrooms on the first floor. Regulus went on his tiptoes when he passed their rooms. Not that he needed to, it had just become a habit. Regulus didn't go to his room at first, he still had to get ready. He took his time in the bathroom but eventually he were on his way to his room. As he opened the door he sighed. But then he saw something on the bed. Which he definitely wasn't prepared for. He picked up the small card and read. 

'Tilly put this in my room earlier. Thought you maybe wanted to borrow it still :)'

Regulus couldn't help the smile that crept onto his face. His face the same color as the object in front of him. On his bed was James' red quidditch shirt.