Lily Evans and the Peculiar Case of Sirius Black

Prologue

Lily was, on a general basis, against hate. She barely even said the word, instead would say that she ‘strongly disliked’ whatever caused her displeasure. She didn’t think she’d ever have it in herself to really hate anyone. She was just too kind, her mother always said. Even after the nasty things she had said to her after she returned from her first year, she didn't hate her sister. Even if she acted like she did most of the time, she didn't hate James Potter. She didn't even hate Snape, though she had been close to when he called her those horrible names.

Instead, Lily loved. It came as natural to her as breathing. She loved her family, her very first memory of love. She loved her house, her friends and herself. She loved books and art and Butterbeer. She loved the forest, especially after it rained. She loved the smell of coffee in the morning and singing along to ABBA with Marlene and Mary in their dorm at 1 am in their underwear. And she loved Remus Lupin. 

Remus, who shared her love for books and coffee and gossiping. Who loved those around him as fiercely as she did. She just couldn’t help but him, so dearly and deeply she genuinely believed that he was her platonic soulmate. 

And because Lily loved him so much, this boy who had trusted her with his biggest secrets, whose heart has been hurt far too often for someone his age, Lily had no other choice but to hate Sirius Black. 

‘’You’re glaring again,’’ Remus spoke up, gently nudging her foot from underneath the table. 

‘’You can’t blame me,’’ she said bitterly, stabbing her potato with a little too much force while her eyes remained fixed on the boy next to Remus. The boy she hated. She imagined the potato was him and stabbed it again before finally putting the fork back to her mouth.

Remus simply sighed heavily while running a hand through his hair, letting her relinquish in her mission to try to eliminate Sirius Black with her eyesight alone over the breakfast table. Remus’ sighing made the spawn of evil, the dorn in Lily’s eyes, tear his unknowing gaze away from where he had been chatting with James Potter (in an absolutely unreasonable volume, she might add) to shoot a worried glance at his friend. Their eyes met and Sirius gave Remus a small, tentative smile which Remus didn’t return, instead quickly looking back down onto his plate as if the three sausages laying on there was the most interesting thing in the world. Sirius's smile faltered and Lily watched in pleasure as he kept looking at Remus like a kicked puppy. He didn’t deserve Remus’s bright smile, not after what he did!

Eventually, Black turned back around, all while putting another sausage onto Remus’ plate silently, making the werewolf stop in his tracks for a short second before going on about his breakfast like nothing happened, yet the tentative smile he had previously withdrawn from now shone on his face. Lily leaned back, watching the interaction unfold until she decided she had enough. She scoffed loudly and let her fork fall down onto her plate, catching the attention of four boys across from her.

‘’I can’t sit at the same table as him and pretend everything is fine,’’ she hissed, glaring at her target one last time before swiftly getting up and leaving the hall. 

It was ridiculous, really! How was everyone so fine with it after what Black had done last year? He should be on his knees, begging for Remus’ forgiveness - something he should, in her opinion, never receive.

‘’Lily,’’

She sighed. Of course, Remus had followed her. She slowed down, crossing her arms in front of her chest as she leaned against the wall of the empty corridor, her eyebrow quirked and feeling ready to retort to whatever Remus had to say. 

He came to a halt in front of her, slightly panting.

‘’I don’t know how you can be so fast in those shoes,’’ he breathed. She almost smiled. Almost.

‘’Years of experience,’’ she said with a stony expression.

Remus chuckled before running his hand nervously through his hair once again, messing it up even more. Lily clicked her tongue, her hand reaching out automatically to fix the mess.

‘’I told you not to-’’ she began, stopping in her sentence when she noticed Remus laughing at her.

‘’Asshat,’’ she spoke when she realized he had done it on purpose, her stony expression turning into an unseemly pout.

‘’Look, I know it’s confusing-’’

‘’That’s light!’’

‘’But as I explained on the train-’’

‘’You didn’t explain shit, Remus!’’ 

Remus sighed deeply and Lily immediately felt bad. It wasn’t he who she was mad at. Okay, maybe she was a tad irritated at him as well.

‘’I just don’t see how you could have forgiven him so quickly, ’’ she finally said.

Remus bit his lip and she felt even worse. Of course, it hadn’t been easy for Remus, she knew. It was wrritten all over his face - that there were things he hadn’t told her yet. That his reunion with Black had deeper reasons than what he told her.

Yet it was those secrets, those hidden burdens he chose to carry, that made the protectiveness in her rise up even more.

‘’I know that it must seem sudden to you. When we left on the train last year I was crying on your shoulder because of what he did and now that we’ve come back we’re speaking again,’’ Remus began slowly, taking a step closer to her and putting a hand on each of her shoulders. She relaxed a bit, her crossed arms falling to her sides. Remus smiled and pulled her closer to himself, placing his chin on the crown of her head.

‘’Look, I know I was mad at Sirius for a long time and that I said I could never forgive him but…when James sent me that letter telling me what his family did to him I just..I don’t know, I just forgot all about it. It didn’t matter anymore because he was my best friend and he had been hurt-,’’

‘’But he hurt you first!’’ Lily protested. Remus sighed heavily.

‘’Look Lily, I don’t expect you to forgive him. Despite everything, Snape was still somewhat your friend and what he did is inexcusable, yes. And I haven’t forgiven him completely either, yet it’s like I cannot… not love him. It’s like with you and your sister,’’ Remus explained shyly as he stroked her head.

Lily huffed,

‘’Low blow,’’

Because she knew what he was getting it. Lily believed that there was an unshakeable bond between family, no matter how bad things were, you were still connected. You could never just feel nothing for them, or in her case not love them unconditionally.

‘’Just…promise me one thing?’’ she asked. 

‘’What is it?’’

‘’Please tell me that it’s just that. That the thing with Sirius is like with me and my sister. Sibling, family kind of love and hate. Nothing more?’’ she inquired. She felt Remus tense in her arms and knew she had hit the nail on the head before he quickly relaxed again.

‘’Jesus, you have a crush on someone in 4th year and you’ll never let it go,’’ he said lightly and Lily chuckled. 

Remus returned to the dorm a while later, the exhaustion of the day sinking into his bones. He really couldn’t blame Lily for her resentment, to her it must feel like just yesterday when Remus would spend all his lunches with her or cry into her arms at night at the betrayal he had felt yet here they were, back in Hogwarts on the first day of their 6th year and everything was like before. Well, on outer appearance at least.

But she hadn’t seen the way Sirius suffered. It may have been obvious to everyone that there had been something going on between the marauders from the last two months of last year, when Sirius suddenly lost a bunch of weight and spend most of his time alone, yet no one could know the background behind it. The pressure his family had put him under to finally accept his position as their heir - the reason he had lashed out at Snape at Remus's expense. She hadn’t seen him curled up in James’ bed after they had finally thrown him out, shaking with dark shadows under his eyes. Remus had forgotten about his own heartache almost immediately and run to him, feeling Sirius whole body go slump with relief at his embrace.

And she didn’t know Sirius like Remus did, of the things he had done for him. She didn’t know of him following him around all of first-year and insisting on being friends when no one his age had ever dared to go near him before. She didn’t know of the blatant support he had shown Remus when he found out about his secret. She didn’t know about him encouraging the rest to become Animagi to join his transitions.

(She did know of the awfully embarrassing teenage heartbreak he went through in 4th year when he had realised he had realized he may have had a tiny crush on Sirius the same time he had started dating Mary, which, looking back, might have been the start of her hatred. It was all a rather unfortunate and dramatic period of time Remus wished to forget.) 

As Remus opened the door to their dorm the chatter he could hear from the outside quickly died down, all pairs of eyes turning to him. He sighed deeply. He hated that things were still awkward, no matter how much they all tried to pretend they weren’t.

‘’What was wrong with Evan’s?’’ James asked innocently as if the answer wasn’t obvious. 

‘’Come on Prongsie, it’s obvious that she simply couldn’t stand to be around me any longer,’’ Sirius spoke up lightheartedly, probably in an attempt to dispense of the tension. Somehow it made everything feel even more awkward. The raven-haired boy’s eyes quickly hushed to Remus who just shrugged his shoulders casually.

‘’Can’t really blame her,’’ he simply said.

He instantly realized he shouldn't have, for the unpleasant tension returned tenfold when Sirius jerked his head away from Remus's stare as if slapped. Remus just sighed again, making his way to his bed.

‘’Well…’’ James began after an unbearable silence had stretched out between them while Remus was changing into sweatpants.

‘’Did she say anything about me?’’ he eventually asked hopefully.

Sirius, Remus and Peter all groaned collectively and with that, the tension was somehow broken, Sirius and Peter turned to attack James with pillows which Remus quickly joined in just like old times. 

After a few hours of laughing and a vivid round of explosive snap, Remus laid in his bed, the curtains drawn around him while he held up his wand with one hand to shine a light on the book he was holding in the other. 

For a short moment, the curtains rustled before Remus briefly felt a weight over his legs. The mattress dipped as Padfoot turned into Sirius at the end of the bed. Remus bit the insides of his cheeks as he put his book under his pillow while Sirius drew his knees to his chest as if he wanted to take up as little space as possible. It was an unfamiliar position for him yet Remus had seen him doing so ever since The Incident.  

‘’Hi,’’ he said in a small voice, not quite meeting Remus's eyes but instead focusing on the light from his wand.

‘’Can’t sleep?’’ Remus finally asked, feeling a ping in his chest as he spoke the familiar words. He hadn’t said them in a long time, he realized, as Sirius hadn’t dropped by his bed like he used to do. He hated how different everything was now.

Sirius just shook his head, letting his chin rest on his knees as he hugged them even tighter and remaining silent, not daring to speak for the fear of saying anything wrong. 

‘’You can…you know…’’ Remus began, shifting uncomfortably, feeling kind of silly to say it out loud when he had never done it before, instead just silently communicating with Sirius that it would be okay for him to stay.

‘’Are you sure?’’ Sirius asked immediately, his head snapping up with wide eyes, sounding so desperate and hopeful at the same time that Remus couldn’t help but smile. 

‘’Yeah,’’ he sighed in relief, glad that not everything was gone. That some things could be returned to what they were.

A few minutes later they laid on their sides, face to face, their noses almost touching as they breathed in each other’s air.

‘’Remus,’’ Sirius murmured as he hesitantly stretched out to fiddle with the hoodie thread on Remus's sweater.

‘’Hm?’’ the other hummed, his eyes close to shutting down with each passing second.

‘’Evans probably really hates my guts, right?’’ he asked, his voice low and soft. 

Remus forced his eyes open to try and read the expression on Sirius's face, finding him to be deep in thought.

"I suppose that's safe to say," he responded. Despite feeling his face heat up, he put his palm to rest over the one where Sirius was toying with the thread of his hoodie. When he saw Sirius's soft grin, even if it was just for a little moment before it transformed into a scowl, he believed it was worth it.

‘’You said you can’t blame her-’’

‘’Well because of Snape and-’’

‘’Do you still hate me too?’’ 

Remus inhaled sharply as Sirius's eyes finally met his own. Only at this moment did he truly realise how long it had been since they had had direct eye contact like this. Remus was suddenly reminded of how staring into Sirius' eyes for too long when he had a crush on him had made him feel as if all the oxygen in his lungs had been blasted out. How he'd become lost in the other's laughter, his closeness alone causing his mind to cloud up back then. He kept his expression calm, replacing any evident symptoms with a faint smile, and laced their fingers together, trying not to focus on this bizarre resurgence of old feelings.

"I try not to," he admitted honestly since he believed it was necessary to be honest. To let Sirius know that while it still hurt and would most likely always hurt, he was willing to forgive him.

Sirius shifted uncomfortably, seemingly not knowing what to do with that answer. Remus sighed affectionately and shifted closer to him, entangling their legs together and putting his arms around him like they had done hundreds of nights before.

‘’I’ve just missed you, Padfoot. It takes too much energy to be mad at you,’’ he whispered into the others’ ear before finally closing his eyes, choosing to ignore the rapid beating of his heart at the confession and instead bask in the old familiarity.

Sirius tensed for a brief before he snapped out of it and returned the hold on Remus with way more intention, clutching him like he was his lifeline. 

‘’I’ve missed you too, Moony. So fucking much, you have no idea,’’ he said wetly, sniffling into his chest while holding him even tighter.

‘’You’re squeezing me to death,’’ Remus wheezed, not being able to hold back the chuckle that escaped his lips.

‘’Don’t care, never letting you go again,’’ Sirius mumbled, bringing his legs around Remus's torso, successfully caging him as Remus rolled with laughter, trying to shake the other off with weak attempts.

First 

After their return to Hogwarts and her and Remus’ heart to heart in the hallway, Lily tried to at least tolerate Sirius Black, even if she was sure her hatred for him would never fade completely. She could tell though that Sirius was trying really hard to win Remus's trust back which made her effort to tolerate him at least a little bit easier. Since the beginning of school, he had been chasing after the boy, taking his bag and carrying it for him, filling his plate with food before the other had even come down to breakfast, or performing several other tiny acts of service. While it was pleasant to see that Black was feeling guilty, it was as if the horrible 'Prank' had never happened at all after only a few weeks, much to her dismay. She believed Remus was simply too easily swayed by him, and she couldn't stand watching that juvenile attempt to wiggle his way back into Remus's poor, beaten heart.

‘’ Moony ,’’ 

When she heard Black drag out Remus' nickname in that awful whining tone, she felt the usual chills. She looked up from her newspaper, and suddenly there was that entitled wealthy brat, sprawled on top of Remus who had been laying on the sofa in the common area, reading a book while silently keeping her company. It was almost a tradition of theirs, to enjoy some tea and shortbread in the mornings while each doing their own thing.

‘’Don’t ignore me, Moony,’’ Sirius pouted, letting his chin rest on Remus’ chest as he looked up at him through his lashes. Remus just chuckled, readjusting himself on the sofa to be more comfortable with the boy on top of him, their limbs naturally entangling with each other. Afterwards he opened his book again and held it in front of Sirius's face as if he didn’t want to be bothered by him, the small smile on his lips and the way his eyes didn’t focus on a particular spot in the book betraying him though, so Lily thought.

She tried going back to The Daily Prophet article about the upcoming Quidditch World Cup, yet would be forced to look up each time Black would cry out another ‘’Moony’’ to which Remus would only reply with a low chuckle.

She always felt like that when Sirius and Remus interacted, in fact, unable to take her eyes away. She didn’t know if it was the protectiveness she felt for Remus striking up in her or if she was secretly, like so many others, fascinated by the intimacy the two shared. 

‘’ They’re honestly cute together, ’’ Mary had said last night after Lily had raved about Sirius after he had dragged Remus out of the library in the middle of them studying for some apparent ‘important marauder business’ . 

‘’ How can you say that about your ex? ’’ Lily had asked her. Mary had only given her an eye roll as a retort.

‘’ Please, those three months in 4th barely count plus it was before Black announced to the whole school he was gay ,’’ Marlene injected as she practically had to force Lily into the mattress before performing a lash extension spell on her.

‘’ He never did look at me the way he looks at Remus. Nor touched me as much. It’s like those two are never not touching in some way, have you ever noticed? ’’ Mary said, a pleased smile appearing on her face as Lily’s lashes grew and darkened prettily.

Maybe it was simply Mary’s fault then that Lily couldn’t stop staring. She watched Sirius grow more and more impatient, pushing Remus’ book down with his palm in a manner that strangely reminded her of a dog’s paw.

‘’MoonMoon, you’re killing me,’’ Sirius whined, sighing dramatically before letting his head fall into Remus’ chest.

‘’James not around to bother?’’ Remus inquired, his hand coming up to run through Sirius's hair. Lily didn’t need to see Black’s face to know that he was grinning at the gesture. Sickening.

‘’He’s on duty tonight,’’ she suddenly heard herself say, surprisingly enough. It felt strange to answer for James- Potter! To answer for Potter. Well, ever since they have been selected as Head Boy and Girl she supposed she did see more of the other, thus her knowing his schedule by now.

Sirius's head peeked up again, his features curled up in displeasure,

‘’Yeah, on rounds like a true head boy. You did it, Evans, you finally domesticated him,’’ he said, lazily waving a hand in her direction as if just know acknowledging her existence.

Before she could even spew an insult at him Remus had flicked Sirius's forehead, calling him something even she didn’t want to repeat.

‘’Then what about Peter? Or one of your many admirers?’’ Remus inquired. 

Sirius just scoffed, stretching out his limps while making himself even more comfortable on top of Remus as if never having the intention to leave.

‘’Peter is god knows where and most of my admirers have turned into yours which you should know by know, Cassanova of Gryffindor tower,’’ Sirius drawled out.

When Lily heard Remus groan, she couldn't help but laugh. While the previous summer had not been kind to Remus emotionally, it had been kind to his physicality, and while the lad had previously been recognized as many people's first crush due to his kind and approachable demeanour, the giggles and whispers about him had increased since the school year began, much to the introverted werewolves dismay.

‘’I’m so bored,’’ Sirius continued to sigh dramatically, making Remus roll his eyes before he hit the top of his head with his book.

‘’Go do something about it then but stop bothering me,’’ he said.

Black acted as if he had been mortally wounded, clasping his heard and rolling off Remus. He fell from the sofa and landed on the ground, still acting like a dying man as he called out for his ashes to be strayed in the Black Lake. Lily rolled her eyes at the antics and turned to look at Remus, expecting him to be just as put off by his childish behaviour. She was disappointed (though she really should have expected it) to find Remus laughing brightly, his eyes crinkling at the corners.

‘’Get up, you wanker,’’ the werewolf laughed, extending his hand for Sirius to take it.

‘’You wound me, Moony. How could you hit your best mate where it hurts most? And to damage the carefully styled hair as well!’’ he exclaimed, still clutching his head.

‘’Get up or I’ll actually hit you where it hurts most,’’ Remus spoke, his shoulders still slightly shaking with laughter. 

‘’If I get up do you promise to make up for the pain you caused?’’ Black sighed, taking Remus's hand in his own yet making no move to get up while he peered up at him through the fingers of the hand that he was holding his forehead with.

Lily scoffed under her breath, thinking he was one to talk about making up for things.

‘’Mh, my mother did happen to send me the new Bowie album, if that’s what it would take to stop Messer Padfoot from his overly dramatic enactment,’’ Remus complied, a smug smile tugging at the corner of his lips.

Lily would never understand the nicknames, yet she had no time to inquire about them as Black instantly shot up from his spot, using the hand that had been holding Remus's to pull him along to their dorm and out of her sight. 

She sighed heavily, shaking her head as she returned back to her newspaper.

‘’Family kind of love-hate, my ass,’’ she muttered under her breath as a sort of determination settled over her. She’d make sure Remus heart wouldn’t be broken again.

Second

Now, don’t get Lily wrong. She was aware that interfering in her friend's life was bad and that there were some boundaries she should not exceed. Although meddling in her friend's love life may appear to be unethical, she had her reasons. First and foremost, Remus had denied having feelings for Sirius (even if his face said otherwise). Sirius, on the other hand...as enamoured as he may appear, Lily doubted he had any good intentions. And she had witnessed Remus' heartbreak once, not to mention Sirius' treatment of Mary while they were together and his reputation as a playboy. 

She deemed it as damage control, really. Before Remus' renewed crush would get out of hand and he’d ultimately get rejected once again, Lily could give him a gentle nudge in a possibly more healthy direction.

So she found herself setting her plan in motion on the day of one of Gryffindor's infamous parties. 

Remus was sitting in one of the armchairs pulled to the edge of the common area, a drink in his hand, talking to Marlene who sat on the armrest. She discovered James and, more importantly, Sirius, the possible hazardous distraction to her scheme, in the centre of the floor, screaming the lyrics of whatever song was playing to each other and generally creating a spectacle of themselves. She smiled and patted Remus's arms, causing him to shift his gaze from Marlene to her, greeting her with a grin.

To seem natural, she momentarily joined Marlene and Remus in their discussion on which classical poet appeared to be the gayest (they seemed to agree on Emily Dickison) before her eyes wandered across the room and she noticed her target giving her the signal, a single nod, which she reciprocated.

"Oh, Benjy Flitwick seems to be on his way to us. You know what, I think he asked about you earlier, Remus, said he wanted to talk to you," 

Lily tried to seem normal and therefore chose to ignore Marlene's snicker.

"What could he possibly want from me?" Remus pondered, his brow furrowed. Lily gave him a warm grin and went down to whisper something into his ear.

"To be honest, I think he has fancies you," she replied with a giggle, turning her gaze back to Marlene, who was raising her eyebrows.

Lily was well aware that Benjy had a crush on Remus, actually. Last year, she and Remus had tutored several students, and although being a year older, Benjy was a frequent visitor to their sessions in the library. She had asked him whether he was interested in Remus during breakfast this morning, prompting him to spit out his pumpkin juice, before assuring him that she had a strong suspicion that Remus might feel the same way. 

She felt oddly guilty though as she saw Remus's eyes hush over to where Sirius was dancing with Marry to the chorus of ABBA’s Dancing Queen as Benjy made their way to them before coming up to ask Remus to get a drink together. The werewolf reluctantly agreed and Lily shot him two thumbs up when he turned to look back with a pained expression. 

‘’Subtle ,’’ Marlene snorted once the pair was out of eyesight and Lily turned to look at her with a pout. 

‘’Why do I suddenly feel bad about this? I mean, it’s normal to set your friends up, isn’t it?’’ she asked, sighing before she emptied the leftover of Remus's drink.

‘’Maybe because you know that Sirius will have your head when he figures out you were behind that elaborate scheme,’’ Marlene snickered, her voice dripping with sarcasm.

‘’Ugh,’’ Lily said out of reflex.

‘’They’re not even in a relationship and Remus deserves someone better than-’’ 

Her eyes scanned the room until they landed on Black in the corner of the room, holding his stomach as he was shaking with laughter, probably caused by the fact that Peter Pettigrew's hair had been replaced with spikes that looked similar to that of a pineapple.

‘’ That,’’ she said in distaste. 

On Sunday she, like most of the others in Gryffindor, woke up feeling like complete shite. Whoever spiked the punch (she had a strong suspicion that it had been the Prewett twins but she was too exhausted to do anything about it) had done a great job at knocking out half of Gryffindor, seeing as the breakfast table was unusually quiet that morning. She had noticed that only Peter was present of the Marauders so she turned to ask them where the rest was, hoping to find Remus to inquire about how his evening with Benjy had gone.

‘’Well, Sirius refused to come down, said he felt sick or something, and James didn’t want to leave him alone. Remus went down before I did, I think. Said he just wanted to grab some toast and eat outside. I don’t know what’s gotten into them but that punch was really strong so I’m guessing that,’’ the short boy had rambled on until Lily excused herself with a smile. 

She strolled around the castle till she came upon Remus reading a book on a stone arch in the courtyard. He lifted a cigarette to his lips as he flipped the page, the smoke blending with the visible air of the cool September air.

She approached him, and despite the fact that he never raised his head to greet her, she knew he was aware of her presence, the sound of her steps echoing in the empty courtyard. She sat on the stone arch next to him, exhaling air through her mouth to imitate Remus's cigarette smoke.

‘’So,’’ she began.

"So," Remus responded, turning yet another page without looking up.

"How did things go with Benjy?' she asked, attempting to appear nonchalant.

‘’We talked. We laughed. We drank.’’ he said.

‘’A lot,’’ he eventually added as an afterthought after a brief pause.

‘’That’s all?’’ Lily inquired while pulling out her wand, waving it shortly and causing the smoke to turn into a bunny that ran around the courtyard.

"If you must know, there was this part where we had our tongues down each other's throats," Remus eventually replied, his voice impassive.

Lily ought to be delighted but she just felt sad,

‘’I see,’’ she said before turning her head to look at Remus, a look of pity on her face.

‘’But you still like Sirius,’’ 

It wasn't a question, an accusation, or anything else; it was just a statement. Remus came to a halt, and Lily sat there watching the cigarette burn almost to his fingertips before he turned to put it out on the stone.

"Yup," he responded, nodding before he proceeded to bury his head in his book.

Lily merely sighed and leaned on Remus' shoulder.

"Well, at least I tried," she ultimately replied before shutting her eyes and rubbing her temples, her headache pounding. Remus snorted and reached into his coat pocket for a piece of chocolate, which he handed to her.

A day later, she was doing rounds with James, something she had dreaded all summer when she found out he'd be the head boy next to her, but had exceeded her expectations over the past weeks. Since they returned to Hogwarts, James had begun to treat her like an actual person, which had come as a complete but not unpleasant surprise to her. Today, however, was different, with James being unusually fidgety and silent, never staying on a subject for long enough.

"How are you doing with your essay?" she asked as they passed a corner on the third floor, trying to fill in the silence. She tilted her head to meet the stare that she had felt on her face for a while now, yet once she met his eye he swiftly avoided her sight, focused instead on the ceiling.

‘’Essay? Ah, sure, well..." he muttered, glancing around for anybody who wasn't her and running a nervous hand through his hair. Lily's mind temporarily went blank at the action, and she shook her head, attempting to shake the image of how it made James suddenly appear… attractive as his veiny hand ran through his locks.

‘’Potter, stop,’’ she demanded, suddenly coming to a halt while crossing her arms in front of her chest.

‘’Huh?’’ James replied dumbly, turning from where he had walked a few steps to face her, still not meeting her gaze directly.

‘’Is there something…?’’ he asked, looking around but finding the floor empty except for the both of them.

‘’I should be asking you that, you seem awfully distracted. Is everything okay?’’ she proceeded to ask, taking a step forward James. She was quickly taken aback by the genuine worry she could hear in her eyes and took a step back, blinking furiously.

‘’Well, I-....I-...’’ James began, biting his lip and taking his glasses off and then putting them on again nervously. 

For a split second, Lily was alarmed. She'd never seen James so uncomfortable or hesitant before; was this a new way of flirting with her? What if he confessed his undying love for her? He'd done it before, but he'd never appeared as genuine or concerned about her reaction as he did now, making Lily fear that her unwavering response may change.

‘’Frankly, I am…well I don’t know how to say this because I really don’t want to and I never thought I would but…Well, I…’’ James rambled on, his leg now shaking, a gesture Lily recognized from before he went onto the Quidditch pit before a big match.

‘’Is this about…?’’ she began, leaving the end of her question unfinished as she felt the heat rise up in her cheeks. Surely she would reject him again, wouldn’t she?

‘’It’s about the party, yes,’’ James suddenly said in a rush, finally meeting her eye afterwards.

‘’The…the party?’’ Lily asked, dumbfounded.

"I'm… upset with you. That's it; I said it. Please accept my apologies," 

James' shoulders gradually sank, as if a weight had been lifted from his chest, but his leg began to shake again.

Lily cocked her head and blinked. Once. Twice. Three times in total.

"Ha!" was all she could utter, a combination of astonishment and laughter. Never in a million years would she have guessed James Potter would be angry with her, and the fact that James appeared to be a nervous mess suggested he didn't either. It was all a bit of a shock.

‘’I’m very sorry, I just had to say it,’’ James muttered, running his hand through his hair once again. 

‘’Yes, well,’’ Lily couldn’t help the small laugh that escaped her lips before she quickly bit them to stop them from forming a small. She inhaled deeply, trying to keep her composure although she was incredibly hard. It was simply too absurd of a situation.

‘’Why?’’ she mustered up to say under a lot of restraint. 

James glanced at her, apparently perplexed by her battle to maintain a straight face, but the guilt about his feelings seemed to triumph.

‘’I know that it was you who told Benjy to go to Remus and that was just…not cool,’’ he stated, his voice deflating at the end as he tried to stand his ground. Lily hummed instead of saying anything, afraid her voice would betray her, nodding her head in acknowledgement instead as her hand came up to cover up her mouth.

‘’Are you...not going to say anything?’’ James asked after a while, curious eyes glancing at Lily through his glasses. 

Lily closed her eyes for a brief second, inhaling deeply to keep her composure. 

‘’I did encourage Benjy to go to Remus, yes. I knew he had a crush on him and Remus isn’t seeing anyone so I don’t see your problem with it. They seemed to have enjoyed each other’s company from what I heard,’’ she replied innocently. 

James scoffed, his nerves finally seeming to have settled down.

‘’Oh yeah, they enjoyed each other’s company quite alright. That is until Sirius stumbled into them when he was searching for Moony,’’ James huffed, crossing his arms in front of his chest and leaning against the wall of the corridor. Lily rolled her eyes at the mention of Black.

‘’I don’t see what he has to do with any of this,’’ Lily replied, stubborn as she matched James’ stance.

‘’Oh please, I know you know,’’ James exclaimed accusingly.

‘’I know what exactly?’’ 

James sighed, leaning his head against the stone wall.

‘’Come on, Lily. Everyone and their mother knows that Sirius is mad for Moony. And the other way around as well,’’

Lily opened her lips to respond but was sidetracked once more, this time by the lines of James's neck and the sharpness of his jaw, as well as the fact that he had called her Lily rather than his characteristic 'Evans,' which she always found insulting.

‘’I know,’’ she stuttered dumbly, forgetting whatever defence she had thought of.

‘’Then why would you-’’

‘’Well, they’re not together, are they? I thought Remus deserved something nice, sue me!’’ she yelled angrily, not wanting to hear about how she was to blame for Black's bruised feelings, which she suspected James was up to.

James met her glare and he was quiet for a while, thinking of his next words.

‘’I just don’t like my friends getting hurt, okay?’’ he finally sighed and Lily once again had to blink, too stunned at the genuine concern in James' voice.

‘’ Neither of them. I know you couldn’t care less for Sirius, but I don't think Moony is in the best of spirits right now either. He and Pads haven't talked since then, which is strange and honestly throws me off my game," he confessed, his whole body shuddering slightly and making Lily sigh in defeat. There wasn’t really anything she could say and she already felt bad about the situation.

‘’If it’s of any consolation, Remus already told me off for it,’’ she said as a peace offering.

James looked at her, his gaze lingering on her for a moment too long and making her shift uncomfortably before he ran his hand through his hair one last time.

‘’Well, what’s done is done, now it’s up to them to figure it out. Are we..?’’

‘’We’re alright,’’ Lily smiled. She wondered when it had gotten so easy to smile around James Potter. They resumed their walk and she began to evaluate her perception of the other, his protectiveness over his friends still ringing in her ears.

‘’It must have been hard for you,’’ she spoke up after a while, still deep in thought.

‘’What?’’ James inquired.

‘’You know, last year…’’

‘’Oh! Yeah, that was no fun for anyone involved, believe me,’’

Lily came to a halt once more, biting her lower lip and looking down at her feet.

‘’You know, I don’t think I ever thanked you for saving Severus. I mean, I know how much you hate him but-’’

‘’You don’t have to thank me,’’ 

Startled, she looked up, surprised to see the serious expression on James' face.

‘’It was the only right thing to do, you don’t have to thank me,’’ he repeated and Lily wondered when he had gotten so… mature .

James' expression then grew into a gorgeous smile focused directly at her, and with it, a warmth surged through her chest. Her heartbeat staggered for a second.

‘’Well, I…I am still gonna thank you, deal with it,’’ she said defensively, walking ahead and passing James so she wouldn’t see the confused face she made at her own actions.

‘’Um, okay? Hey, wait for me!’’ 

She only walked faster as Potter ran after her, internally yelling her heart to calm down. 

An hour later she still felt too shy to meet James' eye directly as he held open the portrait for her to enter the common room, climbing through while passing a mumbled ‘thank you.

She walked ahead, wanting to skip the ‘goodnights’ in hopes of keeping at least some of her composure for the evening but after taking only a few steps into the common room she stopped abruptly.

‘’Do you also think the lady from the portrait hole has something going on with the portrait of Gregor the great in 5th Corridor? I saw her hanging around in his frame on rounds last week and today as well but she claims they’re just frie-...Ow!’’ James yelped as he ran into Lily who still hadn’t moved from her spot. 

‘’Merlin, I’m sorry! Why are you-... oh . Well, that is disgusting,’’ 

Lily sighed heavily at the sight in front of them.

Remus was fast asleep, leaning on the sofa in front of the fireplace, mouth open and eyes closed. Sirius nestled in his lap, his face hidden under a book Lily had lent to Remus. Their joined hands rested on Black's chest. It was a very intimate scene.

‘’I give up,’’ Lily simply sighed, throwing her hands in the air.

‘’Ha! I wanna see you endure 6 years of this, then you have the right to say you want to give up,’’ James complained, making Lily snort.

‘’Good luck with that,’’ she chuckled as she made her way to the girl's dorms after collecting her book from Sirius's face. 

She turned around on the stairs, hidden behind the wall and watched as James approached his friends with a tired but nonetheless pleased expression on his face.

‘’Alright,’’ he said, rolling up his sleeves before cowering down, petting each of their cheeks with perhaps a little more force than necessary. 

‘’Time to get up, Kids. It’s a school day tomorrow,’’ he cooed at them, making Lily cover her mouth as a laugh escaped her lips. 

Third

‘’Come on now darling, you have to drink something,’’

‘’I don’t have to do anything and certainly not put something in my mouth that smells like shit,’’

‘’Are you usually this irritated after the moon?’’ Lily sighed, setting the potion Madam Pomfrey had asked her to give to Remus down by his bedside table. She had often visited Remus in the hospital wing yet now it was her first time knowing about him being a werewolf instead of having a chronic illness as she had always thought before. 

‘’Usually only before but whatever atrocity Poppy has cooked up there will not enter my system, I’m pumped up on potion as it is already so I’m fine. No one ever believes me when I say I’m fine,’’ Remus whined, letting his head fall back into the pillow while Lily chuckled at its antics.

‘’It’s called being worried about you,’’ she insisted, pinching his thigh and causing him to yelp.

‘’But I supposed it does look a tad…funny,’’ she mused as she glanced at the now boiling liquid inside the cup.

‘’I’m fine, really,’’ Remus repeated, softer this time as he took her hand in his. Lily smiled, giving it a squeeze before letting go of it. 

‘’I should go back now. Lunch is almost over and I don’t want to get detention,’’ 

‘’You really didn’t have to come here during your break, I’m-’’

‘’ Fine, I know,’’ Lily interrupted him, laughing sweetly before moving down to kiss Remus’ cheek.

‘’Still, just wanted to check on you, love,’’ she spoke, returning the smile Remus showed her. 

‘’Will you do me a favour then before you leave?’’

‘’Anything!’’

‘’Can you please throw this shite down the drain, Poppy will have a fit otherwise,’’ 

Lily laughed loudly as she took the cup from Remus's bedside table, walking down the Hospital Wing to the small sink next to Pomfrey’s office door. She washed her hands, as they were sticky from the croissant she had shared with Remus, before turning around to walk back.

She came to a halt as she was about to walk by Remus' bed, noticing a shadow behind the separator. She was about to scold Remus for getting up and stepped closer, yet through the space between the white sheets of the room divider, she could see Sirius standing in front of the bed with a sheepish grin.

‘’Weren’t you just here this morning?’’ Remus asked, sounding tired but bemused nonetheless.

‘’Well, nice to see you too, Moony,’’ Sirius huffed, moving his hands to his hip.

‘’Bugger off, I’m tired,’’ Remus yawned, turning around so his back was facing Black.

‘’Perfect, I was just stopping by because I desperately need a nap,’’ Sirius replied happily, still smiling brightly as he threw himself onto the mattress, yet careful enough not to shake Remus’s body, yet the werewolf groaned in annoyance nonetheless.

"Use one of the 100 other beds around us then," he growled, but Lily could see him slide closer to the bed's edge to make room for Sirius, who only shook his head before also resting on his side and therefore spooning Remus successfully.

‘’This damn castle is simply too cold. Have some mercy on a trembling friend, Moony,’’

Lily was about to scoff at the vague excuse, but she kept her mouth shut since she didn't want Remus to know she was spying on him. She was, to be sure, but he didn't have to know. It would have to wait for her to tease him about it.

She watched as Sirius snuggled closer to Remus (there really was no other way to describe it), happily nuzzling his nose in his nape. 

‘’You just want to skip Potions, don’t you?’’ Remus asked accusingly as he closed his eyes, though he seemed perfectly content with the situation.

‘’You’re too smart for your own good, Moonshine, anyone ever tell you that?’’ Sirius said before a yawn escaped his mouth and he wiggled even closer to Remus.

‘’Just don’t get detention again or James will kill you, we need this Hogsmead trip for the next prank,’’ Remus mumbled, eyes finally shut as he moved his arm to rest over the one Sirius had slung around his torso.

Lily rolled her eyes, making a mental note to tell Professor Mcgonnagal to check for any explosives after the next Hogsmead trip. 

‘’Does it still hurt?’’ Sirius murmured and she supposed his hand that had snuck underneath the blanket was feeling the bandages that were tightly wrapped around Remus's torso which she had seen peek out from underneath his shirt earlier.

‘’Too filled up on potion to feel anything,’’ Remus answered drowsily, his words somewhat slurred. He shifted ever so slightly in response to Sirius's delicate touch, as the raven haired boy responded with a breathy laugh.

‘’Ah, just how you like it then,’’ he replied before suddenly moving his head to hook his chin over Remus’s shoulder.

‘’You bled more than usual, you know’’ he then suddenly proclaimed, almost accusingly. Lily wondered how he could have known that, doubting that Madame Pomfrey would have let Remus have any visitors while she was still stitching him up. Perhaps he had snuck into the hospital wing, she thought, waiting for Remus's arrival. The thought resonated with her and she found herself almost - just almost!- smiling to herself in affection thinking of Sirius Black. 

Remus scowled deeply, clearly irritated that Sirius continued to chat as he tried to sleep. His eyelids cracked open as he moved his head to the side, their faces now so near to each other Remus's nose was pressing into the other boy's cheek. Lily was surprised to find Sirius not pulling back, and though she could discern a touch of a flush on his cheeks if she squinted hard enough, both of them appeared quite content to breathe each other's air with their proximity.

‘’I’m fine, really’’ Remus spoke softly, nuzzling his nose into Sirius's cheek before laying his head on the pillow once again.

"You say that all the time, but I don't believe you," 

Lily's mouth twisted up as she remembered her earlier conversation with Remus, who was also smiling, as Sirius withdrew back into his previous position.

‘’Just shut up and let me sleep,’’ Remus moaned fondly.

Despite the distance, Lily could see Sirius's little smile from where it was buried in Remus's hair. Then he kissed the werewolf's nape before eventually quieting down, shifting to the other as near as he could before his breathing evened out.

Lily walked out of the hospital with a frown on her face, feeling as if she had intruded on yet another intimate moment between them. Her resolution to despise Sirius for the rest of her life seemed to be fading more and more.

Fourth

Remus was startled awake a few weeks later, and the first thing his senses registered when he awoke was that he was in Sirius' bed, not his own. However, as he reached out into the darkness, his eyes still closed, he couldn't feel the boy next to him, which perplexed him.

"Pads?" he inquired, reaching out into the darkness. Blinking his eyes open, he realized he was alone, his keen hearing not picking up the heartbeats or breaths of his other companions. It was entirely out of the ordinary. He only could sleep longer than the rest of the Marauders after the moon, and he was now in that ideal place between the previous and forthcoming full moon.

He attempted to rise up, but as he did so, a sudden hammering on his temple became apparent, and he recognized it as a pounding headache. Images of firewhiskey and his friends passing the bottle around in a circle while playing truth or dare returned to him, and he grimaced bitterly.

Given that the rest of the dorm was dark, Remus' sleepy brain could only come to one conclusion: it was still night and the party was still going on, thus his friends were absent. Without even glancing in the mirror or bothering to wake up, Remus got up, put on his slippers, and left, assuming the marauders would be the only ones left partying at this hour, as it had been many times for him to collect them.

Lily sat in the common room, wishing she hadn't gotten another hangover. As Head Girl, she should have been more cautious, but she was also competitive, and Mary had a habit of asking embarrassing questions that she'd rather drink than answer. The remainder of the 6th and 7th classes were not much better, and the younger grades were warned not to bother them.

‘’I hate myself and all of you,’’  Peter Pettigrew moaned from the sofa, eliciting a chorus of cheers.

‘’I will never drink again,’’ Mary said.

They all responded in chorus, "You will."

‘’Yes, I will,’’ she sighed, sounding devasted.

The portrait hole opened and an entirely too cheerful James Potter entered alongside Sirius.

They were greeted with a volley of 'Shut ups!' as they exclaimed, 'We got the coffee!'

"How do you two never get drunk?" Dorcas whimpered from her position in Marlene's lap.

"Because the only way to survive a pureblood-only party is to get hammered, even if its at 11 years old, love," Sirius chuckled as he assisted James in dispensing the much-needed coffee.

"Where has Remus gone? Is he dead?" Lily grumbled as she sat up in the armchair by the fireplace, where she had almost fallen asleep.

"Let our Moony have his beauty sleep, he had enough for the rest of us," James said, handing her a packet of sugar, and she'd be shocked if she wasn't too hungover to notice that he knew how she took her coffee.

They sat in silence for a time, each waiting for the coffee to wake them up until they fell into aimless conversation about the previous night's party.

Other students began to fill the common room, and despite the fact that most of them were unwell, it turned out to be a pleasant morning.

‘’Pads? Are you here?’’ 

Lily grinned to herself as she turned around to welcome Remus after hearing him yawn sweetly. However, when she watched Remus enter the common area, she paused for a second, trying to figure out what was so different.

The sound of Black spitting out his coffee, together with a few chuckles and a whistle from someplace, ultimately revealed what was so unusual. Remus was dressed in pyjama pants and a light Cardigan with nothing below.

"Um...Moony, you've finally woken up?" James exclaimed, attempting but failing to maintain a steady tone in his voice.

Remus' eyes gradually adjusted to the lightning, and he seemed to wake up more and more, but he was still unaware of his surroundings.

She couldn't help but stare, as could the entire common room, to be honest. The scars on his face and arms were faint at first, but they grew deeper and larger as he moved down his chest. However, after she'd become accustomed to them, she couldn't help but think Remus was...fit.

"Are we showing off, Lupin?" Mary whistled, prompting the students to laugh.

Remus scrunched his nose and frowned his brows at her.

‘’How fucking much did we have last night, I feel like shite,’’ Remus spoke out, his hand moving over his stomach as he did so. Lily could almost see the revelation form in his brain since it was so clearly visible on his face, and it would have been a hilarious sight if Remus hadn't looked so terrified.

"Um, Mate, you..." Peter started speaking, but Remus had already looked down and seen his shirt was missing.

‘’Moony-’’ Sirius started, sounding concerned, but Remus had already mounted the stairs, accompanied by a chorus of whistles and laughing.

The Marauders shot up as well and were gone not a minute after and Lily sat transfixed on her chair, feeling terrible for Remus as she knew of his inflictions.

‘’Remus is kinda fit, isn’t he?’’ Mary suddenly popped up, earning a round of nods.

‘’I think Sirius and James are officially second and third now, aren’t they?’’ Dorcas added her two cents, making the rest of the group chuckle.

Lily bit her lower lip and leapt from her seat, determined to follow Remus even though she wasn't sure she could be of much help.

She climbed up the stairs to the boys dorms, a heavyweight in her stomach from the alcohol or concern, she couldn't tell and came to a halt when she saw an open door, presuming it was the Marauders dorm. She took a hesitant step towards and sure enough found three backs turned to her, past them a pacing Remus.

‘’It’s not that bad, really, Moony!’’ James called, trying to sound cheery. 

Remus scoffed and ran his hand through his hair, and Lily's heart ached when she saw how much it was trembling.

"What if they noticed?" What if they—what if they spotted the bite mark and realized...not it's that difficult to figure out...What if they figure it out?"

As his eyes welled up with tears, Lily was taken aback when she heard Remus' voice tremble and break off. She had probably seen the boy weep more than anybody else, yet it still shook her.

‘’I’m sure they didn’t Moony!’’ Peter shrieked nervously, attempting but failing to equal James' optimism.

‘’I can’t, I just can’t…what if…’’ Remus eventually came to a halt and sunk to the floor, his hands over his head as if to protect himself. Lily had once discovered him in this state, and he explained that it was a habit he had picked up while growing up in an orphanage to protect himself from other boys who might kick him.

‘’Moony-’’ Sirius began but Lily interrupted him as she had stepped into the room and called out the werewolf's name.

Sirius dropped down next to Remus, laying a hand on his arm without saying anything, as Peter and James turned around to face her. James was scared to see her, and his gaze swiftly shifted to the Quidditch memorabilia and posters that surrounded what Lily assumed to be his bed. Lily might have thought that hilarious on any other day, but she was worried about her friend right now.

She marched right past them and bent down to Remus' level, without waiting for an invitation.

"Hey, Remus," she said gently at first.

She heard Remus whimper before he glanced up, his eyes red-rimmed, to see her. He smiled, but it didn't reach his eyes and wiped the back of his palm across his face.

‘’I’m fine, I’m fine,’’ he said and Lily sighed, reaching out to him to place a hand on his arm as Sirius had done. She briefly glanced at the boy and found his gaze entirely focused on the werewolf in front of him, his eyes filled with concern.

‘’I just came up to tell you that no one is talking about you,’’ she said softly and Remus just snorted.

‘’Well, not like that, anyway. I mean, yeah they did wonder about the scars but most just think you’re really shredded,’’ she chuckled, smiling brightly when she succeeded in making Remus laugh wetly as well.

‘’Are they really?’’ he asked in amusement though she could hear the genuine concern behind the question.

‘’They are some…conspiracies why you have them but no one saw the bite mark because of the cardigan. I think you only have to be afraid of getting asked out to Hogsmeade every week until the end of your school career,’’ 

‘’Wonderful! We can put that to good use! Wormtail, come with me, we’ll do some damage control,’’ James piped up and Lily pretended not to notice how the curtains around his bed had suddenly closed.

‘’What are you going to do?’’ Remus asked and his voice sounded so different. He sounded like a small scared boy instead of the charming boy she knew.

‘’We’ll just tell everyone a different story so no one can be sure. I’m thinking of telling them you were in a gang,’’ James said with a shrug, turning to Peter.

‘’Wormtail?’’

‘’I’m thinking ‘was pushed through a window and fell into bushes as a child’,’’ 

‘’Appealing to sympathy, smart!’’ 

Lily stood there astonished as the two walked away, still conjuring up scenarios to make Remus seem mysterious as if it wasn't an utterly insane plan.

‘’He’s so stupid ,’’ Lily said under her breath, thinking of the Quidditch Captain.

Remus laughed quietly and Lily turned to look at him again with a soft smile.

‘’Don’t worry too much, okay?’’ she asked before kissing his forehead. Remus just smiled weakly.

‘’I’ll try,’’ he said.

‘’I’m sorry, Moony’’ Sirius suddenly spoke up, his voice so small Lily wondered if she had imagined.

‘’About what?’’ Remus asked, placing his hand over the one Sirius had on his arm as if on reflex.

‘’I put you in that sweater. You-..you said you were hot and took off your shirt and went to bed and I put on that sweater because you always get chilly no matter how hot you say you are and I left with James to get coffee instead of staying with you and I should have just tackled you to the ground when you came down but I was so startled because you are really fit you know but I know you hate people seeing your scars and I feel like it’s all my fault so I’m so-’’

Sirius's rant was interrupted by Remus's laughter, genuine this time, and the raven-haired boy shut up all at once and looked at him with big eyes. 

‘’Moony?’’ he asked, unsure of what caused the other’s amusement.

‘’Nothing, sorry,’’ Remus chuckled and Lily sighed softly, pretty sure Blacks rant and underlying confession of finding Remus ‘fit’ had to do with his amusement.

Sirius released a sigh of relief as he let himself fall down, his head resting on Remus's shoulder, either having forgotten or simply not caring that Lily was still there.

"I'm sorry, I love you, please don't cry," she heard the boy mutter, and she blinked a few times, astonished by the boy's genuine care for Remus, as she had been on so many other occasions.

She took it as her cue to leave and tried to get up as quietly as possible, wanting to give them some privacy. She turned around when she reached the door to wave Remus goodbye but could see that the boy was entirely too taken up by the smaller boy hugging him tightly. She watched as Remus kissed the crown of Sirius's head, repeating that he was just fine. She stood and shook her head before leaving, wondering how Black could have ever done what he did last year when it was so apparent, so obvious and simple how much he loved Remus and wished to never hurt him. 

Fifth 

If you had told Lily at the beginning of the year, or even the beginning of the week for that matter, that she’d be wheezing with genuine laughter because of Sirius Black she wouldn’t have believed you, yet here she was in the common room on a Tuesday evening, clutching her stomach as it hurt from how much it was laughing.

‘’Oy Evans! I look gorgeous, I don’t know what’s so funny,’’ Sirius piped up from where his head rested on Mary’s lap who was also struggling to contain her smile.

‘’Now last step; Lipstick. You better pucker up, Black,’’ Marlene mused as she rummaged through the makeup bag. 

‘’You’re not even going to take me out to dinner first, Mckinnon? Shameful,’’ Sirius responded, making Lily laugh even more as he began making kissing noises while waiting for Marlene to apply the lipstick.

It had all started out when Marlene had interrupted Lily and Mary doing their homework with tears of joy in her eyes a few hours earleir. It had turned out that she had finally mustered up the courage to ask out Dorcas, her longtime crush. After a round of congratulations and questions, they had concluded that they would need to prepare Marlene for her upcoming date, thus Mary had run up and grabbed her Make Up kit, insisting the common room would be the perfect place to practice since the lightning was better and they could spread out Mary’s immense collection. That’s when they had come across Sirius lounging on one of the sofas, sighing to himself. 

‘’Without your usual ensemble, Black?’’ Marlene had inquired. 

‘’I’m a ‘lone fella at the moment, can you believe it, Mckinnon? Someone as appealing and charming as me, the Paris of people, being left completely alone! A shame!’’ Sirius had replied, prompting Lily to roll her eyes. 

‘’Pining away because you were banned from the hospital wing, Black?’’ she asked with a smirk. 

Lily had not been the only witness to Sirius's prompt cuddle session after the last full moon. Just a few hours after she had left Madame Pomfrey had discovered Sirius in Remus's bed and had been forbidden from seeing him after the full moon ever since, according to Remus.

‘’ ‘ Obscene displays of public affection ’, my ass,’’ Sirius muttered under his breath, causing Lily to chuckle.

They sat down next to the fireplace and started talking about how they might help Marlene prepare for her date with Dorcas. Yet every few seconds, Lily's gaze would be drawn to another dramatic sigh from Sirius, catching him off guard as his gaze lingered on the portrait hole. He reminded her of a pathetic puppy waiting for its owner, so she tried to be compassionate to him.

"Hey Black, what look do you think Dorcas would fancy on Marlene?" she had abruptly blurted out, prompting him to glance at her in surprise, blinking a few times before the typical Sirius Black grin emerged on his face and he leapt over to them.

After a few rounds of Make-Up, Marlene had wanted to call it quits, afraid she’d break out before the big day, but Mary insisted on doing a few more looks. Sirius offered himself up for it, to no one's surprise really, and prompted the girls to start working on his face. Rather than taking it seriously, they took advantage of the opportunity to dilute the other's attractiveness by putting various colours and shapes on his face, prompting Lily to not be able to stop her laughter. 

‘’I’m sorry, you look quite exquisite indeed,’’ she said, her shoulders still shaking from laughter. 

‘’You know, on the topic of people finally asking out their long time crush, when do you think you’ll have the balls to ask out Remus, Siri?’’ Mary suddenly asked as she pushed Sirius's hair out his face so Marlene could write something on his forehead with Lipstick.

Lily started coughing, taken aback by Mary’s brazenness, and quickly looked to Sirius, expecting to find a similar state of shock on his face, yet she was surprised to see him only smiling sadly. 

‘’Oh I couldn’t,’’ he simply laughed, though it sounded rather bitter than genuine.

‘’Why? You two clearly fancy the pants off each other, pun intended,’’ Mary said. 

‘’Yeah, it’s disgusting to witness sometimes,’’ Marlene spoke up, settling back from where she had written profanities on Sirius's forehead.

‘’Ask Evans, I’m sure she could give you a few reasons why I wouldn’t be an adequate match for our dear Remus,’’ Sirius laughed, prompting Lily to roll her eyes.

‘’ugh , ‘adequate match’, who talks like that? You sound like you jumped out of a Jane Austen novel but not in a good way,’’ she said. Sirius only chuckled,

‘’See, there’s your first reason. Go on, I’m sure you can conjure up quite a few. Just don’t hurt my feelings too bad, Evans’’ 

‘’Alright,’’ Lily stated it as she sat up a little straighter to ready herself. She grinned as she met Sirius's expectant gaze.

"None,'’ she eventually responded, causing Sirius'expeactant expression to swiftly be replaced by bewilderment.

"Well, that's a turn of events," he stated,  glancing at her suspiciously.

"While I may not be your biggest fan for a variety of reasons, I don't believe there are any why you shouldn't be with Remus. And, while I've meddled in that field before, I've learned my lesson,’’ 

Offering Sirius a sympathetic grin, she continued,

 "I don't think Remus could be happy with anyone other than you."

‘’I knew it was you who set that jerk on him! James insisted it wasn’t so I wouldn’t spike your cereal but I knew it!’’ Sirius called out, shooting up from his position and pointing at Lily.

‘’You wanted to spike my cereal?’’ she cried, taken aback.

‘’Or make all of your underwear disappear,’’ Sirius offered.

‘’Why would you even do that?’’ 

‘’I do that to Prongs whenever he rubs me the wrong way, which, by the way, he just did, so I hope Mrs. Potter will be free to buy him new one or he will have to use his pillowcase again,’’ he said with a shrug.

‘’That was way too much information,’’

"How could you consider Benjy Flitwick for Moony?" He's as bright as a black hole," Sirius scowled and sank back onto Mary's lap, his arms crossed in front of his chest.

‘’Well, you weren’t making much of a move, were you?’’ Lily huffed. Marlene and Mary giggled at the exchange and Sirius blew a strand of hair out of his face. 

‘’I can’t ask Moony out but Benjy Flitwick , pah!’’ Sirius huffed, making Lily roll her eyes at his theatrics.

‘’And why can’t you ask Remus out?’’ Mary asked. Sirius shifted uncomfortably under their three intense stares before pouting.

‘’Because Moony deserves someone better than me,’’ he finally mumbled.

Lily felt a new surge of sympathy for the boy in front of him and opened her mouth to tell him that he should reconsider his opinion when the Portrait hole suddenly opened, making Sirius shoot up once again. 

Remus entered the common room with one arm around James’s shoulders as the Quidditch Captain supported him. The werewolf looked worse for wear, no doubt limping because of the previous moon. He had red gashes along his arms as well as one peeking out from the collar of the shirt, running up from his neck to his jar. 

They took a few cautious steps inside the room before coming to a halt when they noticed the group of girls on the ground around Sirius. When James's gaze fell on Sirius's face, which was covered in makeup and profanities scribbled in lipstick, it took just a fraction of a second for him to burst out laughing, leading Sirius and the girls to do the same.

‘’Genius girls, genius,’’ James cried, bending over from laughter.

‘’You never looked more beautiful, darling,’’ Remus smirked, holding onto his stomach before he carefully took a step forward. When he winced after taking another Sirius's laughter disappeared and he sprung up, sprinting over to help Remus to the sofa.

‘’I’m fine,’’ Remus wheezed, clutching his eyes shut and inhaling deeply once he settled on the sofa, Sirius next to him.

‘’Ah shit, sorry Moony. You alright, mate?’’ James immediately asked, his concern making Lily smile to herself. 

‘’I’d be better if this castle wouldn’t have 5000 fucking stairs that fucking moved,’’ Remus groaned before coughing. 

‘’Are you sure you should be out of the hospital wing already, love?’’ Mary called as she was putting her make-up away.

‘’I only look like I’m dying, don’t worry,’’ Remus grumbled as he threw his head back, sinking into the backrest.

‘’Do you want to go up and sleep some?’’ James asked carefully, his eyes running over Remus form.

‘’The only stairs that I will walk up today are those of the Astronomy tower so I can throw myself off it and end my miserable existence,’’ 

James and Sirius sighed as Remus responded. The girls exchanged significant glances before Marlene and Mary stood up and said goodbye to everyone.

The two bid their farewell to everyone, each of them giving a kiss to Remus’ cheeks before going up.

‘’Don’t say something like that, hm?’’ Lily whispered quietly, moving up to Remus to sit on his other side and grasp his knee.

‘’Sorry, just hard not to hate life sometimes,’’ Remus sighed as he looked up at the ceiling as if contained the meaning of life before coughing again.

‘’I’ll get you a sweater, you must be cold,’’ James remarked before leaving, leaving Lily to glance after him for a short period before realizing what she was doing and shaking her head.

‘’I personally love it when you get all moody, Moonpie,’’ Sirius spoke up, inching closer to Remus on the couch and taking his face in his hands with mischief written all over his features. 

‘’Ah, fuck off,’’ Remus grumbled yet Sirius only chuckled,

‘’Mhm, my poor Moon, bound by his dreadful existence,’’ he cooed before beginning to pepper Remus's face with an obscene amount of kisses, moving from his jaw to his cheek to practically the entirety of his face. 

While Lily felt like she was intruding on the couple yet again she couldn’t help but smile as Remus finally broke out in laughter, weakly trying to fight Sirius off.

‘’Christ, get off me, you’re becoming more and more like a dog, I swear to god,’’ Remus laughed and Lily could see a bright smile mirrored on Sirius's face as he continued to kiss the side of Remus’s face that was turned to him.

‘’Should I leave you two for some privacy?’’ she eventually asked, not able to keep herself from teasing.

While Remus blushed Sirius just hummed, giving one last peck to the boy's nose before retreating from Remus's face with a smug expression. 

‘’Quite cheeky, are we, Evans? You might have Marauder potential after all,’’ 

‘’Oh, you would take me in your ranks? I’m honoured,’’ she replied sarcastically. Remus laughed and reached out to mess up her hair.

‘’Only honorary, don’t get ahead yourself. If you become James’ wife though I’m sure he’d fight for you to get an actual title,’’ 

Lily gasped, ready to reply to Remus's teasing yet she was interrupted by James himself.

‘’Nope, The Marauders are The Marauders, my apologies, Evans. The title of my wife is reserved only for you though,’’ he called as he came down the stairs. Lily’s head turned around and he stopped on the last step, meeting her gaze before winking at her. 

She quickly looked away, feeling her face heat up. 

‘’This giant chocolate cake was on your bed, Moony. Either someone has put it there or you’ve hidden it, in which case your addiction has gotten to a whole new level. Either way, I’m concerned about your dental health,’’ James continued as he walked into the common room, a sweater in one hand and a big chocolate cake in the other.

‘’Ah right, that was me, I had the house elves make it for Moony,’’ Sirius said with a sheepish grin.

‘’Ah, of course, you did,’’ James chuckled, gently handing the sweater to Remus before nearly throwing the cake on Sirius, making the other boy gasp as he caught it. He sighed in relief once he didn’t let it fall and placed it on the table in front of the sofa, proudly presenting it to Remus.

‘’You…got me a chocolate cake?’’ Remus breathed in wonder as he strained himself to sit up straight, his eyes wide and glassy.

Sirus beamed at him before moving from the sofa to sitting on the ground and in front of the table, pulling out his wand to cut it in pieces. 

‘’Where did you even get that?’’ Lily asked, afraid the answer would be that he made some poor first years bake it for him or something.

‘’If you go down to the kitchens and ask nicely the house elves will make anything for you,’’ James explained as he settled in an armchair, placing his feet on the table. Lily scowled at the sight of his shoes so close to the cake and James, noticing her glare, quickly out his feet down which felt rather satisfying.

‘’And no one can resist my charms,’’ Sirius claimed before he looked around the room and accio’ed a pack of tissues. He pulled one out and with one swift motion transformed it into a paper plate, causing Lily’s eyebrows to rise up at how easily he could do it without even uttering an encantation. 

Sirius placed a piece of cake on two plates, handing them out to Lily and James before he finally placed the biggest piece on a plate and turned his body around to face Remus, holding it up proudly.

‘’Here, you’ll feel better,’’ he said, beaming at the werewolf as the others dug into their pieces. 

For a little while, Remus remained deafeningly still, his expression unreadable as he stared intently at Sirius and the cake in his palm. Then, without as much as a warning, he reached his hand out and gripped Sirius's chin between his thumb and index finger, pulling his face up a bit before pressing his lips to the other's.

Lily's mouth dropped open at the action, and she could do nothing but sit there, paralyzed by the shock, watching as Remus slowly moved his lips against a frozen Sirius before the boy finally snapped out of his trance, letting the piece of cake fall to the ground to return the kiss vigorously, a hand eagerly reaching up to grab Remus's hair.

‘’Ouch,’’ Remus said after a while, taking a deep breath while clutching his stomach as he moved away from Sirius, but he was still chuckling, pure joy radiating from him.

Sirius simply sat there, his eyes as big as a deer's and his mouth slightly parted.

"Many thanks for the cake. Let's date, you wanker," Remus grinned as reached around Sirius to dip his finger in the frosting of the cake and lick it off.

Lily kept a watchful eye on Sirius, expecting him to shout with delight, reject Remus, or do anything at all, but his stunned expression remained unchanged. That was until a single tear fell from Sirius's left eye, and Lily felt her jaw drop once more. Another tear streamed down Sirius's cheek, till his eyes appeared to be pouring.

"Moony," the boy sniffed desperately, his gaze rising to Remus, who scowled.

"Oh my goodness, why are you crying? You're not required to, you know. I was only-"

But before Remus could finish, Sirius had just about tackled him, engulfing him in a bone-crushing hug and burying his face in the crook of his neck. Lily left out a breath of astonishment, stunned by the scene she had just witnessed. 

"Out of all things, I wouldn't have expected him to start sobbing, can you believe it?" she whispered to James once she had collected herself.

However, when she turned to James's face, she was astounded to discover that he, too, was sobbing, with a slice of cake still held up in midair and his face scarlet.

"After 6 years," he hiccuped, threatening to break even more as he removed his glasses and sobbed into his palm.

When the portrait hole opened again and Peter Pettigrew came in, clutching a big cake, Lily felt a flood of relief.

With a big grin, Peter yelled out "I got it!"  as he walked into the room. He came to a halt as all four students turned to face him, James crying, Sirius' tear-streaked face caked in makeup, and Lily and Remus' expressions absolutely overwhelmed. He took a few steps back and looked around, his brows pinched in bewilderment.

 "Oy, why is there already a cake here?'’ he eventually asked.

Lily shouldn't have been shocked that he would focus on it; after all, he had been living with the three lads for years.

‘’Oh, right, I made you get a cake so you wouldn’t find the one I had already gotten for Moony and eat it, Pete,’’ Sirius muttered, wiping his nose with a tissue before sliding into Remus's side, who wrapped an arm around him, his face filled with worry.

‘’That is entirely offensive!’’ Peter called, still showing no indication that he found anything else going on strange. 

‘’Oh really? Turn it around then,’’ Sirius demanded, still sniffling. 

Peter blushed a bright crimson and flipped his cake over, exposing that a fourth of it was missing.

James let out an unattractive noise between a snort and a sob and Lily couldn't help but find it entirely endearing as she reached out to offer him a tissue from the pack Sirius had used to transform into plates. He accepted it without looking her in the eyes, and she could see that the tips of his ears were red, so she bit her lower lip to keep from smiling.

Peter placed the cake on the table, muttering under his breath about having to venture up all those stairs.

"Remus and Sirius are now together, Peter," Lily spoke up, feeling the need to discuss what had just occurred in the last two minutes.

"Yeah, I figured," Peter snorted, as though Lily's remark was as apparent as the observation that the sky was dark at night.

‘’How so?’’ Remus asked, sounding entirely too happy with Sirius snuggled into his side. 

‘’You have Sirius’ Lipstick all over your face and James is crying. He’d only cry about Quidditch or you two finally getting together. So, who asked who out?’’ Peter inquired casually, choosing another slice of cake from the one he had already begun, and addressing the subject as if it were a typical everyday conversation.

‘’Moony did. He just grabbed me and kissed me, you should have seen it, Wormtail. Before I knew it I was swept up like he was Mr Darcy and I, innocent, unsuspecting Elizabeth,’’

Lily couldn’t help but burst out laughing as Sirius referenced their conversation earlier while Remus just groaned.

‘’Are you going to tell that story to everyone like that?’’ he moaned, earning a shit-eating grin from Sirius. 

‘’Shy now, are we? After you were just so brazen, Messer Moony,’’ he said, beaming from ear to ear as he met Remus's pained expression, though Lily could see that the werewolf's eyes were shining just as brightly. 

‘’Don’t make me regret it, Messer Prongs,’’ Remus said softly, taking Sirius's hand in his and entangling their fingers together. 

Lily watched with a warm heart as Remus brought their entangled hands up to his mouth to kiss the backside of Sirius's hand, making the boy practically melt in his side. 

From her other side, she could hear James break out in sobs again and she quickly turned to him.

‘’I’m sorry, I’m just touched,’’ he sniffled. 

Lily and Remus were awed but Peter only snorted.

‘’Oh please, he’s just devastated because he lost the pool,’’ he snorted. 

‘’What pool?’’ Remus asked suspiciously. 

‘’The pool on when you were two were going to get together. We started it after Sirius had his coming out ceremony in the Great Hall,’’

‘’Ah, that really was a party,’’ Sirius sighed in nostalgia.

‘’And ‘we’ is just you and James or…?’’ Remus kept digging, sounding slightly paranoid now.

‘’Oh no, it’s basically everyone in Gryffindor. Some people from other houses too, you know those who have classes with us together and stuff. Most bet on Sirius asking you out because, well, you’re not really one for public displays of affection,’’ Peter explained with a shrug.

‘’I can kiss the new nimbus goodbye now, stupid bet,’’ James hiccuped, holding his face in his hand. Lily felt all the sympathy she had felt for him before leaving at once.

‘’Aw Jamsie you bet on me? I’m honoured,’’ Sirius cooed. James looked up, glaring at the other. 

‘’If you had just grown some balls I wouldn’t be in this pickle!’’ he snapped at the other.

Sirius clutched his chest as if wounded, turning to look at Remus.

‘’Moony, are you really going to let him talk to your boyfriend like that?’’ he wailed.

‘’Technically you aren’t my boyfriend yet, Sirius’’ Remus suddenly said with a shrug, making Sirius gasp.

‘’Excuse me?’’

‘’Well, I just said ‘let’s date’ but you didn’t reply, did you? So officially we’re not a couple yet, are we ,’’ Remus asked pointedly, looking between Sirius and the crying James. 

‘’H-Hey, that doesn’t count! You still asked him out first!’’ Peter stuttered, looking to James who smiled brightly.

‘’Go on, ask me out then. If James doesn’t get that broom we will never hear the end of it,’’ Remus whispered with a fond eye roll directed at James who was watching them like an excited puppy wiggling his tail.

Sirius perked up, grinning brightly at his chance to shine. He took Remus's face in his hand and tried to keep a cool facade, though the twitching corners of his mouth betrayed him.

‘’Moony,’’

‘’Hm,’’

‘’Moonshine,’’

‘’Yes,’’

‘’Moon to my stars, wolf to my dog, nerd to my rockstar, the apple of my eye-’’

‘’Would you get on with it, would you?’’

‘’Right. Moony, you have bewitched me, body and soul, and I love you. I love you. I never wish to be parted from you from this day on. Would you like to be my official boyfriend?’’ Sirius finally asked a bright smile on his face that mirrored itself on Remus's face.

‘’Yes, I would very much like to. Now come here you, you cheap Mr Darcy copy,’’ Remus laughed before grabbing Sirius by the collar and pulling him for another kiss. 

‘’When would he even have read Jane Austen?’’ Lily mumbled under her breath as she averted her eyes from the two boys who were caught up in each other’s affection.

‘’Oh, James made Remus read it to us as a bedtime story because you told him she’s your favorit-’’

Before Peter could finish his sentence James had tackled him to the ground, a hand clasped over the other’s mouth. 

‘’Ha! Too much sugar, this one,’’ he laughed awkwardly, looking up at Lily as he tried to maintain the struggling boy underneath him.

Lily felt herself turn a scarlet red and she quickly places her cake on the table before shooting up from her seat.

‘’Right, me too, I believe…Ha…Haha…goodnight then…happy for you two! Please don’t do it in the common room, thank you…’’ she stuttered as she ran up to the girl's dorm, her heart beating so fast she thought it wanted to jump from her body.

Epilogue

‘’Aright, so let’s go over it. Remus will be here in a few minutes. I’ll dim the lights and once he comes in I’ll turn them on and you will all shout ‘Surprise!’. Got it?’’

‘’Gee Black, you think you could write that down? I doubt anyone could follow such an intricate plan,’’ 

Snickers filled the room at Marlene’s remark and Lily fondly rolled her eyes as Sirius flipped her off before turning around to look out of the window once again. 

‘’Moony just pulled up! Showtime everyone!’’ Sirius called, running from the window through the living room, almost knocking Dorcas and Mary over in the process.

‘’He’s so excited,’’ Lily chuckled fondly, letting herself fall back into James’s chest who naturally put his arms around her. 

‘’21’s an important age,’’ he said, giving her a squeeze.

‘’How so?’’ she asked.

‘’Because you can get shitfaced in America and Pads has been begging us to ever since you taught him the phrase ‘what happens in vegas stays in vegas’,’’ James laughed and Lily joined him. 

‘’We’re all growing up, aren’t we? Soon we’ll be at Harry’s 21st birthday,’’ Lily sighed, feeling nostalgic. 

‘’Oy everyone, shut your traps I can hear him coming up the stairs!’’

She snorted at Sirius's excitement, holding back on the ‘puppy waiting for his owner’ comment as the lights dimmed around them and she prepared to pop the mini firework’s James had created.

They could hear Remus unlock the door and enter, the light from the hallway shining through the door.

‘’Oh hey Moony, how you doing?’’ Sirius said, completely failing at sounding casual. 

Remus took a step into the room and without any warning at all, grabbed Sirius by the collar of his shirt and pulled him in for a deep kiss, causing Lily to gasp softly. She could hear James groan behind her, making her chuckle.

‘’I’ve got..the best..fucking..news..I..have..the job…I applied for…’’ Remus said between kisses, his hands coming up from Sirius's collar to his face as he pushed him against the wall. 

‘’That is great, Moony! Really…but…’’ Sirius began, suddenly shaking as he tried to hold himself back from laughing out loud. 

Remus pulled back in confusion, his brows furrowing as he watches Sirius unable to contain himself.

‘’I’m really so happy for you but Merlin you’re gonna hate yourself in a minute,’’ Sirius wheezed, turning around to pull the light switch, revealing all of their friends. 

Along with the sound of firecrackers, they collectively exclaimed "Surprise!" with some laughing as hard as SiriusLily could literally see the blood leave Remus face and his arms went slack, falling from Sirius face.

‘’I see,’’ the werewolf simply said, lingering on the sight of all his friends infront of him for a second before he turned aorund and sprinted out of the apartment, causing the rest of them to laugh even louder. 

‘’I’ll get him,’’ James called out, running after him as Sirius was deemed completely useless, still leaning against the wall and clutching his stomach. Lily walked up to him and gave him a strict look.

‘’That was mean,’’ she said though the amused waver in her voice betrayed her. 

‘’He’s so cute,’’ Sirius sighed while wiping a tear from his eyes.

‘’Don’t tell him I ever said that though,’’ he suddenly said to her in all seriousness, seeming genuinely afraid. 

‘’If you babysit Harry next weekend I won’t. Mama needs date night, not everyone can home and just start snogging,’’ she chuckled. Sirius beamed at her, holding out his hand to her.

‘’Deal,’’ 

After 15 minutes James returned with Remus over his shoulder, the werewolf cursing him out with every swear word known to man.

‘’I found him trying to jump off the fire escape,’’ James said, easily placing the birthday boy down on the sofa of his and Sirius's apartment.

‘’Christ Remus, there are more embarassing things than snogging your boyfriend in front of all your friends, though I can’t think of any for you’’ Mary called out.

‘’What about that one time when he came down without a shirt?’’ someone calling, making Remus groan and plant his face first thing into the pillow.

‘’Like I always say, Moony just isn’t one for public displays of affection,’’ Peter piped up as he began handing out drinks to everyone. 

‘’Ironic with how many times I intruded on those two,’’ Lily said, shaking her head at the many memories. 

‘’Get in line, Potter,’’ James said to her, returning to her side and taking her hand in his. 

‘’I’m serious!’’

‘’No, I’m Sirius!’’ 

‘’Aye first one!’’ 

Everyone collectively took a sip from their drink, a drinking game they had been playing for years now whenever Sirius would bring the joke.

‘’But I do suppose most times it was Sirius who started it. Still, Remus, you have way worse things to be embarrassed about than this,’’ Lily said, squeezing Remus leg.

Sirius wandered over two drinks in his hands, sitting on the couch from where Remus still had his face buried in the pillows.

‘’Here, at least you can get shitfaced and forget all about it, love. Just like the easter party in 7th year,’’ he said softly.

‘’What easter party?’’ Remus inquired, looking up from the pillows.

‘’Exactly,’’ Sirius just answered, handing the scowling werwolf a drink before giving him a quick peck on the lips. Remus grumbled but eventually drowned the drink before taking Sirius hand in his and giving it a squeeze. 

‘’Thanks for the party. Love you, you wanker,’’ he said brightly. Sirius just took their joined hands and kissed the back of Remus hand. 

Lily watched the interaction fondly, trying to figure out how she could have ever thought those two weren’t meant for each other.