four
Leah stopped in her tracks, surprised. "Of course. What’s up?"
They walked out of the locker room, away from the loudness of their teammates. The air was thick, and Alessia knew this moment would either break them or change everything.
"I... I’ve been feeling kind of weird lately," Alessia began, her voice shaky. "About... you, and me, and-" she stopped for a second, biting her lip. "I don’t know. I’m just trying to figure things out."
Leah tilted her head, sensing the seriousness in Alessia’s tone. She reached out, placing a hand on her shoulder. "You know you can always talk to me, right? About anything. What’s going on?"
Alessia hesitated, her chest tight. "You’ve been... I don’t know-”
“Leah!” A voice shouted. And Alessia could tell by the accent that it was Katie, “Come here, will ya?”
Talk about timing.
“Sorry, Less.” She gave an apologetic smile, and Alessia could only shrug it off before Leah was gone.
Instead of waiting for Leah to come back - that’s if she would have - she chose to just go home. They had their game tomorrow, and even though she knew she wouldn’t play much, she still
wanted to be prepared. And that started off with relaxing.
She didn’t know what she wanted to say to Leah, so maybe it was a good thing Katie interrupted her.
At first, it was just the little moments - the shared smiles during training, the quiet talks after games, the way Leah’s laughter made Alessia’s heart skip, the way Leah was always glued to Alessia's side. But now? Now, it was undeniable. Alessia had developed feelings for her teammate. One of the worst things that could ever happen. And they weren’t just any feelings, they were feelings that made her stomach twist in a way that was both lively and terrifying.
She had never thought of girls in that way before. Growing up, her focus had always been on her game, on her career, wanting to make it professional. Love, relationships, those had always seemed like distractions. She had only been in a few relationships with boys from school along the way, but they were never serious - not to her, anyway. And now, as she sat there in her car, her heart pounding at the thought of Leah’s presence, Alessia had no idea how to navigate any of it.
She didn’t want to make things awkward. Leah was one of her closest friends on the team. They had spent hours on the pitch together, understanding each other's movements without even speaking. Their connection was so strong, so natural - it was hard to imagine how any of that could change now. But the reality was, Alessia wasn’t just feeling like a teammate, not anymore. Not after spending more time with her. She was feeling something else entirely. Something she didn’t know how to put into words.
She hadn’t talked to anyone about it. What would she even say? She didn’t even know what to do with these feelings. How could she? She had never liked a girl before. What if Leah didn’t feel the same? Or worse, what if Leah found out and things became uncomfortable between them? The thought of losing that friendship made Alessia feel sick.
****
The locker room was mostly quiet, they just wanted to get the job done and move on in the competition. But in the corner next to Beth, Leah was tying her laces, her blonde hair pulled back into a tight ponytail, her face focused and serene as always. Alessia watched her for a moment, her breath catching in her throat.
She glanced down as Leah walked past her, but Leah stopped mid-step when she noticed Alessia’s movement.
"Hey," Leah said, her voice soft and tentative. She stepped closer, eyes scanning Alessia's face as she put a hand on her hip. "You good?"
Alessia blinked, momentarily caught off guard. She hadn’t realized how obvious it had been but she forced a smile, the kind of smile she always put on when she didn’t want anyone to worry. “Yeah, yeah, I’m fine.”
Leah didn’t buy it. She knew when something wasn’t right, especially when it came to her.
“No, you’re not,” Leah said gently, sitting down next to her. Her tone was low and reassuring, “Talk to me, please?”
Alessia looked up at Leah, her chest tightening. She wanted to say something, anything, to brush it off. But the words felt heavy, like they were stuck in her throat. She had never been good at talking about what she was feeling, especially when it came to something so confusing. And right now probably wasn’t a good time.
“It’s nothing, really,” Alessia mumbled, her gaze shifting back to the floor. “Just… a lot on my mind, I guess.”
Leah’s expression softened, her concern deepening, but she didn’t push it further.
“I’m here if you need me.” She smiled as she stood back up and went over to Beth and Lia.
Alessia felt a lump form in her throat as she was re-doing her hair because she could feel Leah staring at her. She wanted to say it, really wanted to. She wanted to confess how she felt, but she just couldn’t.
Putting that all aside for now, she followed her teammates out of the locker room and onto the pitch to warm up.
Well she tried to put it aside. Of course, Leah had insisted on partnering up with Alessia for the passing drill. And Alessia couldn’t just say no.
****
On the sideline, Alessia and Leah found themselves sitting together on the substitute bench, Lia was on Leah’s other side and Laura was on Alessia’s. They were wrapped in the thick, mismatched blankets the team always kept for the colder games. The temperature had dropped significantly, and the cold still made Alessia’s entire body numb with discomfort.
"Come here," Leah said, tugging at the corner of the blanket, pulling it around the two of them so they were wrapped together in the warmth.
Alessia raised an eyebrow and hesitated for a second. But when she shivered, she smiled and gave in. It was only a small gesture, and Leah would’ve done the same for any teammate. She could feel Leah’s body heat against her side, and for a moment, she froze unsure of what to do. They were so close
Leah leaned her head on Alessia’s shoulder, her blonde ponytail brushing against her cheek as she sighed contentedly. “I’m so glad I don’t have to be on the field right now,” Leah muttered with a smile, her eyes glued on the game. “The cold’s unbearable.”
Alessia laughed softly, forgetting about her feelings for a second and just enjoying the quietness between them. “You’re just saying that because you know you’d still be running rings around everyone if you were out there.”
Leah snorted. “Not with this weather. I’d either freeze to death or get blown off the pitch.”
“So dramatic.”
They both chuckled, a shared moment of ease between them.
The game continued and Renée had told Leah that she’d be subbed on. Leah groaned and Alessia couldn’t keep the laugh in and took all the blanket to herself. With every passing minute, Alessia’s thoughts drifted back to the warmth of Leah beside her. Now it was just an empty seat. She found herself watching Leah, until it was her turn to play some minutes. It wasn’t a lot, she needed to rest for Manchester City on the weekend.
****
Leah had always been the more reserved one. And she had nurtured feelings for Alessia for a while now, she remembers the exact moment when she realised - it was during Leah’s last international camp before she tore her ACL. So nearly two years ago. She recalled the day when they had beaten Brazil to win the Finalissima at Wembley. And as she lifted the trophy up in the air alongside Mary Earps, she looked directly at Alessia who of course was in her own little world. She spent a few seconds admiring everything she could. Her smile, her infectious laugh when Ella nearly tripped on the podium, her eyes, just everything. It wasn’t long at all, but it was enough time to figure out that she liked her. Leah liked Alessia.
And that same year, Alessia made the move. And at first, Leah allowed herself to indulge in these feelings, to look at Alessia not just as a teammate but as someone who could mean more. Spending the days joking and laughing together in training sessions. She started to get close with the forward, she made teasing comments, held eye contact longer than she usually would with others, clung to her whenever the team would be out in public. But Leah was careful, cautious not to cross any boundaries. She had always been someone who kept her emotions close to her chest, preferring to maintain the professionalism that her role demanded. But, it could be said that Alessia brought out a different side to Leah, a more happier side.
But as time passed, Leah began to notice something within herself -her feelings for Alessia were rapidly growing stronger. And yet, despite all of that, she slowly started to pull back. Especially now.
Maybe it was because of people figuring out or assuming they had something going on, or maybe it was the fear that Alessia didn’t feel the same and then their friendship would be completely over. Last time she checked, Alessia’s last romantic partner was a man - she was straight. She didn’t like girls, she didn’t like Leah.
Recently, she started distancing herself, pretending as though the playful smiles and inside jokes didn’t mean as much to her. She knew Alessia noticed. She knew that she couldn’t keep on doing this - acting odd on one day, and then acting normal the next.
****
Before their last training session, the team were having breakfast. Alessia sat on a table with Kyra, Lotte, Vic and Laia. Leah was across the room from her, sitting with Katie Reid and Amanda.
She was rather quiet, she didn’t feel like talking - or eating for that matter. But she knew she had to, so she forced a piece of toast down.
Lotte noticed, always so observant. But she knew Alesia well enough not to ask, so instead she started a conversation with Victoria about returning to the squad soon.
When their table had all finished, they walked to the locker room together so they could get ready for training. Surprisingly, the weather wasn’t as cold as it has been all week, so that was something Alessia was happy to hear about. She doesn’t have to suffer in the cold for the morning.
Beth, Steph, and Lia all appeared and were chatting as they rummaged through their bags. Alessia had been distracted by something on her phone when she heard her name, and instinctively, she listened in.
“I hear Leah’s going on a date tonight,” Beth curiously said. “Wonder who the lucky girl is?”
Alessia froze. Her heart dropped. It was like a punch to the gut, hearing it out loud. Leah was seeing someone, and Alessia hadn’t even realised the feelings she had been holding in her chest for months until it was too late.
She tried to brush it off at first, thinking maybe she’d misunderstood. But the more she replayed the conversation in her head, the more she realised how badly she wanted to be the one going on that date. Alessia hadn’t acted on her feelings for Leah in time, and now it seemed like Leah was moving on.
She should have waited for Leah. she shouldn’t have gone home. She should've told her how she felt. Whatever Katie wanted, Leah would’ve come back. Of course she would have. It’s Leah for goodness sake.
If Alessia asked Leah for something, she’d drop everything to make sure she was there. And Alessia felt so angry towards herself for not doing anything. It was obvious to her now, Leah had been showing signals.
And she had just overlooked them.