Stupidly Accepting
Both of Sirius’s stupidest decisions, in Remus’ opinion, happened on full moon nights. Remus’ memories of both are hazy and incomplete, but supplemented with what he heard from other people, he still knows enough to feel confident in that opinion. One, which would always hurt him to think about, involved Snape, was possibly the worst moment of all of their school years, and thankfully didn’t happen until fifth year. While still in his fourth year, Remus was blissfully unaware that it would ever happen. Luckily, Sirius’ other stupidest decision ended much more pleasantly.
Remus both hated and loved that his friends had become animaguses for him. He was immensely touched and grateful, obviously, but if they’d told him what they were trying to do, he’d have stopped them immediately. The process was too unpredictable; they could have died, or been stuck as animals, or been imprisoned. He didn’t, however, entirely realize the extent of their danger until they first wanted to join him on the full moon.
“What if I eat you?”
“For the last time Remus, the book said werewolves aren’t dangerous to animals.” James insisted.
“Oh and books never lie about werewolves.” What had Remus been thinking, ever agreeing to this?
“Moony! Everything we read agreed that in wolf form, werewolves only crave human meat. They can’t all be wrong.”
“You’ve been whining about craving mashed potatoes for days, but I’ve still seen you stuff your face at every meal. What kind of fucking wolf wouldn’t gobble down a deer if it was hungry?”
“Well then you’d better eat before.” James wasn’t giving up.
It was an hour before dinner, just a few hours before sunset, and the four friends were in their dorm room going over their plan for that night. Remus had been telling them over and over again that it was a terrible idea, James was stubbornly disagreeing, and Sirius and Peter were on their beds, mostly silent.
“It’s just too dangerous. If something happened-”
“Nothing’s going to happen!” James snapped. They’d been going in circles for a while.
“You’re not coming! Sirius, talk some sense into him.” Remus pleaded.
Sirius sighed and pushed himself lazily off the bed.
“Moony.” He said, resting his hands on Remus’ shoulders and staring him down. “We didn’t go through two years of work for nothing. We’re coming, whether you like it or not, so just stop arguing and let people help you for once.”
“Traitor.” Remus grumbled, but that was the end of that argument.
Remus waited for them in the shack, shaking with pain and nervous energy, and nearly hurling up his dinner. He’d forced himself to eat as much as possible and was very much regretting it. It was only a few minutes from moonrise when the others finally climbed up.
“Change.” He told them.
They each wished him luck before shifting into their animagus forms, and Remus buried himself into their fur and warmth until the moon rose and his own transformation began.
He woke up on the shack floor with his friends, still animals, sleeping around him. He felt remarkably well, sore as always but with no sharp pains or any bleeding as far as he could tell, and once he checked to make sure the others weren’t dying either, he let himself relax.
He didn’t remember the night fully, but there was nothing at least that made him worry much. He remembered feeling a little panicked at first, when the wolf had first noticed that it’s prison had been invaded. He knew he’d growled a few times; he could still feel the rumble in his throat. He could vaguely recall a blurry image of the stag and rat backed into the corner, everything about their body language showing how terrified they were.
The dog hadn’t backed away. It had been in front of him, wagging its tail all friendly. And then it pounced and, with its long, slobbery dog tongue, licked him right across the face. He remembered liking it.
The rest of the night seemed to have gone decently. He’d smelled fear the whole time, but he hadn’t been afraid again. He’d enjoyed himself, and he hadn’t eaten anyone.
Lying in the slowly brightening shack, essentially unscathed after the full moon for the first time in nearly ten years, Remus thought about how much he loved his friends. They’d mastered one of the most complex pieces of magic possible, and just spent a school night in a dirty old shack, without any benefit to themselves. They’d done it for him. They were fucking incredible.
Though admittedly, as much as he loved them, and as much as they always did for him, it was Sirius who was always just a step ahead. It was only Sirius who, when faced with a snarling werewolf, hadn’t backed away. So recklessly, so stupidly, it was only Sirius who had always fully accepted him. It was only ever Sirius.