Afraid (Voldemort X Fem Reader)
A/N - Requested by Thaunredhel on Quotev
(Y/N) had always been loyal to a fault, everyone whom knew her, knew it. It was a trait most people appreciated, as was her sheer stubbornness and determination. Once she set her mind to doing something, it wasn't very often she changed it. Even if it did lead her down a path of darkness. She had been that way for as long as she could remember, sometimes it served her well, other times it had gotten her into trouble. As it had done many times while she attended Hogwarts. Some of those memories still hurt her to remember, other she smiled about. She always wondered what had become of those whom had been in her school year, besides the famous ones of course. Just as she wondered what would happen when Voldemort eventually found her again.
You see (Y/N) had just started out as an Aura, when the first wizarding war hit its peak. She'd graduated school a year or so prior to the war ending, only being around 19 or 20 when it ended. Yet she remembered being take hostage by the Death Eaters, some of them tormenting her because of her status as a half-blood, just like her mother was. Yet she had come face to face with Voldemort then, already beaten and bloody from torture sessions with other high ranking Death Eaters. He wanted something from her, something he believed she knew due to her rare ability of foresight. He'd kept her alive during that time, always dragging her around with him. Never once did she believe she would be worth anything to him beyond her ability. Just as she knew the Order likely wouldn't come for her, it was too risky and they likely believed she was already dead or at least been incorporated into their ranks.
"You alright (Y/N)?" questioned Remus, the meeting at the Order HQ, seemingly dragging on forever. Remus had been a friend during their Hogwarts years, although he couldn't stop the torment from James Potter, neither could Sirius, instead she had endured it, although she did send James to the hospital wing a fair few times, normally to reverse some curse or jinx she'd cast on him. One of them a particularly nasty one, resulting in James being in the hospital for a month. Only a few knew of the last tormenting she suffered from, the nightmares of the past and the constant feeling of dread. Sirius, Dumbledore and Severus being the only others to know of the true horrors that plagued her, as she suspected Moody likely did as well.
"Yeah. Sirius is right, we should act now. He's after something, something he didn't have the last time" responded (Y/N), agreeing with Sirius that something had to be done. If not then it would be too late to do anything, especially if the Ministry were going to continue down their current path of ignorance. Yet there was something else hiding behind her (E/C) eyes, guilt for what happened the last time. What her actions had caused and what she seen every time she looked at Harry, she was thankful no one had told him the truth of that night, all those years ago. Especially when she had never been able to forgive herself for it, even when others had.
When the meeting was over, (Y/N) left the room almost instantly. Not being able to stand the thought of the past repeating itself, especially with the teenage boy dubbed the Chosen One by so many. She knew Harry knew of her, Ron or Hermione telling him about her. Yet she hadn't been around long enough for him to personally know her, the guilt often getting to her, over what happened all those years ago, over what she had caused and often blamed herself for.
"It wasn't your fault (Y/N)" spoke Remus from behind her. When she turned, she was met with the werewolf, Sirius and Severus there. A sight she could honestly say she would have said was impossible. "You couldn't have known what Voldemort was going to do, none of us knew we were going to be betrayed or what was going to happen" calmly spoke Remus, a comforting aura about him, as if he had long understood and forgiven the past. Even more so when she was one of a few whom had helped him over the years. She had been a friend when he had no one.
"If it wasn't for me, he wouldn't have been so certain about it. He wouldn't have known about Harry or Neville" responded (Y/N), remembering when Voldemort had gone to her regarding the prophecy Severus had told him about. The vision of sorts she had also had, although hadn't told anyone around her about it. Yet by the time Voldemort had gone to her about it, she had been his prisoner for over a year, By then she had been suffering from Stockholm Syndrome and would have done anything he had asked of her, no matter how bad it was. To make it worse Voldemort had known it and used it to his advantage.
"I am to blame for what happened (Y/N). I told him about the prophecy. I didn't hear it all and wanted to be loyal, so if anyone is to blame for what happened to Lily and James its me. You did what you thought was right and you've punished yourself long enough for it" almost yelled Severus. Knowing well if it wasn't for his stupid actions then the prophecy wouldn't have been known and (Y/N) wouldn't have been in the position she had been. Instead she would have been guilt free, the Potters would likely have survived and things would have been happier.
"But you also helped rescue me. And you've done so much to make up for it" spoke (Y/N), knowing Severus had done so much to make up for that one mistake. He'd become a teacher at Hogwarts, helped free her by telling those of the Order she was alive and where she was. He'd kept an eye on Harry despite the boy being identical to his father, the man whom had tormented them both in their school years. Yet she hadn't done anything to make up for telling Voldemort the one whom would defeat him was Harry, a toddler. She hadn't done anything to make up for Lily and James death, other than avoid their son and isolate herself from the world around her.
"So have you" responded Sirius, recalling what she had done since the war ended. "Look at what you've done. You've named all the Death Eaters you knew of, sending them to Azkaban. You kept an eye on those who escaped being sent away, you tried to free me and tell the world it was Pettigrew whom betrayed Lily and James and you kept watch of Harry from a distance when Dumbledore asked you to" added the last member of the Black family. He could recall having so much anger towards her, but he had grown to forgive her when he learnt she had vouched for him when no one else had, and kept an eye on Harry, being the one to inform Hagrid of where the Dursley's had gone when the ran away. "You kept him safe, even when he didn't know it. Its time to forgive yourself" added Sirius, remembering the two had been close friends in school. She had even helped him annoy his parents more when she had acted as his girlfriend for a home visit.
"I'm afraid" admitted (Y/N). Looking to the carpeted ground moments later, refusing to make eye contact with any of the men before her. Finally she admitted the truth she knew others could already see, the same one that plagued her since Voldemort's return before the summer. "I know he'll come after me again. I'm afraid of what he'll do this time or what he'll make me do" added the Aura, admitting she couldn't take being a captive again and tricking herself in to believing she was in love with the dark lord, even more so when she knew she was just a means to an end, when she knew he didn't love anyone nor would he ever understand what love is.
"We wont let that happen. Even if you have to hide, we wont get hold of you again" responded Sirius, promising himself, if he could do anything to help the Order now, it was to ensure (Y/N) was protected and hidden away from Voldemort. He knew for sure the dark lord wouldn't let her live this time, he had done that last time and ended up being destroyed or his physical form was. All knew if Voldemort got hold of (Y/N) this time, it would be a long and pain death awaiting her. After all she was the enemy to a lot of death eaters, considering she had been a constant thorn in their side since the first war had ended.
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"At last I have you again" utter Voldemort, standing in manor used as his Headquarters. Dressed only in a black robe, his snake at his side as was several death eaters. (Y/N) had been caught while patrolling the Department of Mysteries. The Death Eaters, whom held her, tightened their grip, when she struggled against them, although that didn't stop her from attempting to break free. Another of the pure-blood wizards wasted little time in handing her wand over to the snake like man, bowing as he did so. "I was wondering when you, my once loyal follower would be brought back to me. The place besides Bellatrix has been empty for far too long" raspily spoke the Dark Lord, as if he was losing his voice. (Y/N) didn't answer, merely looking away, as if she knew he would take it as an insult, much like she knew he would be angered by her refusal to let him in her head.
"It can stay empty. I won't help you again. Not after last time" spat (Y/N), expecting some brutal punishment for her defiance, yet she didn't care. As long as those she loved were safe, she didn't care what happened to her. "You tricked me last time, weakened me to the point I didn't know what was right or wrong. Made me believe I was alone. It wont happen again, I would rather die than join you" bravely spoke the Aura, knowing her actions from the previous war, would have deemed her a Death Eater by some, yet she had remained free thanks to Aleister Moody and Dumbledore, both of whom had vouched for her.
Voldemort had only walked closer to her, running a few curled fingers down her cheek, as if he was attempt to emulate what someone would to do to show affection. If (Y/N) didn't know any better, she would have said there was sadness in his eyes over her words. Yet she knew the Dark Lord better than that. He didn't care for her, nor would he care for anyone outside of himself, she knew he was incapable of it. She knew sooner or later, he would get rid of her and find someone else to fill the spot she had been tricked into before. Plus she knew the only reason he had allowed her to live the last time was because of her ability of foresight.
"We'll see" whispered Voldemort, giving the signal to take her to the area being used as the prison. The Death Eaters keeping her in place, could only nod before dragging her away in silence. Bellatrix seemingly confused by the whole thing, as was Lucius Malfoy, as if both didn't understand something regarding the little reunion. Yet neither said a word, figuring eventually their dark lord would do something regarding the Aura he had ordered to be captured. Almost as if he was trying to recreate something of the past or needed her to willingly give something.
(Y/N) was soon thrown into the cell. Guessing Voldemort had used his connection to Harry, allowing him to see her capture, thrust allowing him to see she was in danger. Only now did she hope he ignored it, that he didn't tell the others of her capture or where she was if he recognized the place. Instead she was hoping he wouldn't allow others to rescue her, knowing it would only bring more danger and likely death.
"Harry if you see this, don't tell anyone. Leave me here. He wants you to see this, its a trap. He wants the prophecy. I will do my part if you do yours and live" whispered (Y/N), wondering if Voldemort would allow Harry to hear her words via their connection. "If you get the prophecy, for god sake smash it" added the aura, showing she knew what the Dark Lord wanted, as well as her defiance in making sure he didn't get it, even if that cost her life.
"Why don't you give into him?" came the voice of Bellatrix from the cell door. Her voice almost as crazed as the woman in question. (Y/N) didn't bother to face the near insane woman, instead she face the bare brick walls surrounding her, refusing to do anything demanded of her. "Why wont you give him what he wants? He'll give you what you want, just like last time" added the former Azkaban resident, tormenting (Y/N) with the past, and what Voldemort had given her. Even when (Y/N) wished she could take that wish back and redo the past, where she wasn't so foolish.
"All I want is to go back and change the past. So I didn't fool for the tricks" responded (Y/N), showing she would do anything, to go back and change what her wish was. Especially when she couldn't forgive herself for it. "If I could go back and change it, I would have made sure none of us got out and the order knew who their traitor was" admitted (Y/N), recalling when Voldemort said he would grant her request of revenge on James Potter, recalling when she had found out Voldemort had killed her former bully and sweet Lily Potter. If she could change it to wishing Voldemort was gone for good, she would. But knew it was something she had to live with. Hence why she now tried to protect James and Lily's son to make up for her stupid mistakes.
"He'll kill you" whispered Bellatrix, as if she was actually concerned for (Y/N), as if they were once friends. Another lie, (Y/N) had fallen for a young woman, something she wasn't going to fall for again. Yet (Y/N) could only smile at her words, as she knew something they didn't, she knew how it all ended and knew what had to be done to ensure it did. Just as she knew what the price of that would be. So much heartbreak was to come, but she was happy to play her part if it meant all of it ended once and for all.
(Y/N) soon closed her eyes, allowing her ability to show her what was to come. The events Voldemort wanted to know about. Her grin growing as she seen everything. As she seen battles being fought and won by those who only wanted to protect. As she seen heroes of the past falling and Death Eaters turning away. Yet her grin wavered slightly to see the heartbreak to come, and the price of a victory for Harry.
"If that is the price I have to pay then so be it" responded (Y/N), refusing to give in, even more so if her defiance held Voldemort off a little longer and helped the Order finding Victory in the end. "I will not help him, but you can tell him it still ends the same way. It ends how the prophecy started" added the Aura, her grin growing again, the thought of the war ending with one final duel between Harry and Voldemort, almost making her laugh. Even more so when she knew the one thing Voldemort would never understand would be his down fall.
"Your afraid" confidently spoke Bellatrix, as she looked to the woman she would have called a friend, even a sister. Yet now she was an enemy again. An Aura whom hunted down each Death Eater and was a constant source of uneasiness for those whom had gotten out of going to Azkaban. (Y/N) only nodded, but knew Bellatrix would believe she was afraid of death or the pain and torture to come. When in truth she wasn't, she had faced that before and survived, although mentally scarred by it.
"I wont give him any other choice but to kill me. So I'm not afraid of death" responded (Y/N), spotting Voldemort at the top of the stair well leading to her cell. Thrust revealing to him too, he would have no choice but to kill her, as she wouldn't do as he wanted no matter how much pain he put her through. "I'm afraid for Harry, for what he has to face, to end this once and for all" added the Aura, showing she didn't fear for herself, but for the young boy whom had his fate chosen for him. She knew what he was set to lose on his journey.
"Avada Kedavra" yelled Voldemort, pointing his wand, at the Aura imprisoned in the cell. Watching as the green light hit her and viciously flung her body backwards into the far wall. He believed her words, almost as if they confirmed his suspicions, she wouldn't join him again. No matter the torment and torture she was put through. Instead he had ended it quickly and ensured neither side would know of the things she had foreseen. Yet to the surprise of Bellatrix, Voldemort didn't seem happy about having to kill her, as if he wanted (Y/N) to willingly join him, to serve at his side. An act made all the more obvious when he entered the cell to return her wand.