James and his Biro
James dragged his feet as he made his way to the back of the library, stopping and looking up when he heard two familiar voices muttering. He heard a loud thump, followed by laughter. “You arse! What did I do to deserve that?”
“You told her she looked ‘okay’!”
“So? I wasn’t aware that was an insult! She asked me if she looked okay so I said yes!”
There was more laughter and then the voice he now recognised as belonging to Lily. “Exactly! You’re hopeless. You are genuinely worse than Remus. Do you know how many times I had to tell him not to take flowers to his study date with Sirius? I mean I can’t imagine Sirius actually did any studying but still, who shows up to the library in a suit and tie!”
They both started laughing again and James turned to leave but was stopped when Marlene called out to him.
“Hey! Where do you think you’re going? Come on, Potter, you’re the biggest gossip in the castle, surely you want to eavesdrop a bit more!”
He scoffed and leaned against a bookshelf. “I’m hardly the biggest gossip! That is by far Sirius.”
“And who is the first person Sirius tells all this gossip to?” They smirked, resting their chin on their elbows.
“Peter.”
Marlene rolled their eyes and slumped back in their chair. Lily laughed and shook her head. “Come on then, sit with us and tell us what’s got you looking like a kicked puppy.”
“Actually that would be-...erm, nothing, it doesn’t matter. I’m fine by the way.”
Lily gave him a pitiful look and Marlene raised an eyebrow.
“Oh, sure you are. Come on, you’ve been looking well miserable recently. What’s gotten your knickers in a twist?”
Lily slapped them across the arm. “Marls! Leave him alone, he’s clearly struggling with something. Ignore them, they’re being an idiot. Sit down, you can talk to us.” He slowly sat down across from them both and looked around awkwardly.
“Thanks, Lily.”
She shrugged and smiled warmly. “It’s no problem. You can stay as long as you like. You want to tell us what’s up? You’re usually all loud and bold but you’re a bit…normal.”
Normally, he would have laughed at that and had some jokey response but he didn’t have the energy. “I dunno. It’s a bit personal.”
Lily grinned. “Ahhh, so you’re having girl problems too? That must really suck, huh?”
Marlene glared threateningly. “Lily, shut up.”
James decided that he needed to tell somebody at some point and that Lily was likely the best option, Marlene maybe not so much, they were a great friend but couldn’t keep a secret for their own life. He didn’t really care though, he needed to tell someone. So he caved. “It’s not…girl problems, exactly. It’s..well, it’s more…I’m having boy problems…”
“Oh?” Marlene’s face seemed to light up the second he said it, getting easily intrigued by James’ love life.
“Marls, you’re being nosy, cut it out.” She looked at James with that kind look on her face that she always had. “Look, James, it can't be that bad, can it? You’re nearly 18, you have loads of time. You’ll figure it out and if it ends then so be it. The chances of any school relationships lasting anyway are…pathetically low. Well, apart from Frank and Al.” Marlene and James both nodded at that, those two were destined to stay together in any universe. “Besides, it can’t be worse than Marls, they made the miserable mistake of falling for a Slytherin.”
“Oi! Cas has never done anything stereotypically snakey in her life!”
James remained awkwardly silent, picking at his fingers and avoiding eye contact. Lily seemed to catch on immediately.
“James…please tell me you didn’t fall for a Slytherin. You literally spent ages begging me not to do that. Please don’t tell me that the second I saw the light, you fell head over heels for one.”
“Not exactly…” He still refused to look up at her.
“What is that supposed to mean?!”
He finally moved his eyes to look up at her, keeping his head down to his chest. “I didn’t fall for a Slytherin…” She crossed her arms and waited for him to finish the sentence. “Try…3?”
“JAMES!” She whisper-yelled as Marlene clapped and cackled, earning them a ‘SHUSH’ from the fourth year sitting at the table across from them.
“Oh, Merlin’s balls, this is bloody brilliant!”
“I didn’t mean to!” He said, turning to Lily when she scoffed. “Anyway, you’re dating a Ravenclaw so you can’t speak. They’re all snooty and bratty.”
“That is an awful generalisation, you’re just jealous they’re more intelligent than you. Now stop trying to change the subject. At least tell me they aren’t anybody who will get you killed.”
James shook his head. They had changed but he was sure they still cared about him enough to not kill him. “Well, I am fairly certain none of them would kill me…”
“I’m sensing a but.”
He looked up slowly, smiling sheepishly. “But…one of them spreading the secret may possibly do so instead?”
“How do you mean? We swear we won’t tell anyone…who is it?” Marlene opened their mouth to add a comment but Lily shushed them and nodded at James, urging him to go on.
He took a good while debating whether he should respond or just get up and run. “...Regulus…Sirius’ brother?”
“James!” Lily gasped, slightly louder than before.
“OH, THIS IS THE GIFT THAT KEEPS ON GIVING!” Marlene was practically bouncing in their seat.
“Marlene! Stop being insensitive. Oh, James, what have you gotten yourself into?”
“I don’t know…” He could feel himself shaking slightly, close to tears as the memory of the previous day grew stronger and louder in his mind.
“I take it Sirius doesn’t know then?” She reached forward and put a gentle hand on his arm. Marlene was clearly trying to hold in their laughter.
“Do you think I’d still be alive if she’d found out?”
Marlene stood up and dramatically pointed at him, grinning wildly, earning a glare from the people at the next table. “Oh! I know who the other two are! It’s that blonde kid and the one with the creepy tongue thing.”
James nodded sadly. “Evan and Barty. And he only does that when he’s nervous.” He added, feeling the strange urge to defend him. He shouldn’t. Not anymore.
“That’s the two!” They clicked and sat back down.
Rolling her eyes, Lily looked back at James. “Marley, shush, James, tell us what happened.”
“I erm…I broke up with them…”
“Okay.” She smiled kindly. “Would you like to go in order?”
“Well…it happened yesterday…”
-
“James? Sweetheart, you have a total of thirty seconds before I decide to aguamenti your face to pull you out of your mind.”
James closed his eyes, bringing his hands to his face and groaning. Barty clicked his tongue and flopped onto the bed beside him, putting a hand on his leg as an act of reassurance.
“Shame, I kind of wanted to chuck water over you. What had you so deep in thought?”
James’ throat felt dry and all he was able to choke out was a single word. “March.”
“Oh.” He sighed and rested his head on James’ shoulder. “Why?”
He closed his eyes and a million little fragments of that day flew to the front of his mind, blocking out everything else and consuming all it could reach. He didn’t think he would ever be able to push it back into his mind and leave it untouched as he had done before. It was back now and no matter how much time Barty, and maybe Evan, wanted to spend with him to fix it, that memory would always find a way to resurface, no level of rekindling could change that. The weeks he had spent feeling like an empty clam that had been robbed of its pearl after that day were proof enough that it was a moment stronger than his constant joy could ever be. But he couldn’t say that. That would make him sound ungrateful and unwilling to try. That would make him look like a lost cause, desperate to cling to any possible chance of help. That would make James lose him again. So he lied.
“I’m just thinking about how far we’ve come so soon.” It wasn’t technically a full lie but he didn’t want to risk telling the truth so he bent it a little. Not so much that it would have hurt anybody, just enough to keep everything under control.
James couldn’t lose him again yet. He had been so thrilled to get him back, losing him would plunge his mind into an icy, harsh spiral and flood his brain with thoughts he never wanted to hear again.
Barty smiled and took in a deep, relaxed breath. “We have, haven’t we? I’m glad of it. It’s almost like nothing happened. Like we’re still the same as before. Though, we do still need to be careful not to make Evan and Reg uncomfortable. But I think it’ll only be a matter of time before they do exactly what I did. Well…more or less I suppose. I can’t imagine Reg being that bold, can you?”
They stayed like that for a few minutes, resting together in a way they had both told themselves not to miss.
“I need to talk to Lily.”
Barty took his head off James’ shoulder and frowned.
“Lily? Do I know her?”
“Yeah, she’s one of my best friends from school, I mentioned her quite a lot.”
Barty didn’t seem any less confused. “Did you? Ohhh, the ginger one? Evans?”
“That’s the one. I need to tell her what’s going on. Well, not everything, of course but she’s the only one who knows about…us? And I need somebody else to know what we are doing in case I get killed. I need somebody trustworthy and Lily is as trustworthy as you can get.”
“Well, you know the floo isn’t set up but there’s a muggle telephone box down the street, though I wouldn’t recommend going outside alone.”
James hummed and nodded along.
“Do you have an owl?”
Barty smirked and shrugged. “I mean…”
“No. You are absolutely not turning into a crow and delivering a letter to Lily. You’ll end up stopping to read it the second you get to the end of the road. You don’t even know where she lives!”
James heard him huff. “You could always tell me.”
“No chance.”
“Ah well,” Barty shrugged.”It was worth a try.”
“Babe, I’m literally just telling her that I’ve seen you guys and we need to do something important before I come back to see everyone. There’s no juicy gossip, it’s just stuff you already know and have done yourself.”
“Hang on, how does Evans know you know us all? You’ve mentioned her knowing twice now and have, as of yet, failed to give an explanation. When did you tell her? What did you do?”
“Well…you know it wasn’t easy after March. She asked me what was wrong and I didn’t want to lie to her.”
“How far after March was it?”
James shuffled and picked at his fingers. “Not particularly far, if I’m honest. It was actually…it was the day after I…you know.”
Then, Barty did something James wasn’t expecting, he laughed. He would have expected a sigh or maybe a pitiful comment but not laughter. It was very Barty of him.
“That is so typical of you. Okay. Fine, I’ll get Penelope in a minute and take down the wards for a little while so you can send your carrot-topped best friend your boring letters. I’m gonna go and get breakfast and then we can talk about the plan for you and Ev going to meet Hurley.”
“Who names an owl Penelope?”
“Evan.” He grinned.
James smiled and watched as he left the room, standing up at the last minute.
“Bar!”
“Yes?” He stuck his head back around the doorframe and gripped onto it tightly so he wouldn’t lose his balance.
“Apparently…Sirius sent a patronus message to me whilst I was asleep. Did you see or hear anything?”
Barty looked genuinely confused. “No, I’m pretty sure I didn’t see anything. A patronus, you say? No, I don’t think so. Sorry, Jem. It’s likely something with the wards if I’m honest.”
“What kind of wards keep out a patronus? They’re protection Magic.”
“Yes but it’s been altered slightly for our utmost protection so maybe the wards recognised that the charm had been tampered with but didn’t know how so they blocked it out anyway. I don’t know, Reg put up the wards, not me.”
“Right, thanks. You can…erm, I’ll be down in a minute.” Barty nodded and left the room.
James desperately tried to press down the longing in his chest. He put so much energy into not saying ‘I love you’ slat the end of his sentence that he thought his chest and head might both explode simultaneously.
-
When he walked into the kitchen, James was greeted with a polite smile from Evan, who had busied himself at the counter. “Still have an obscene amount of sugar in your tea?” James rolled his eyes, smiling at Evan’s chuckle.
“I do, yes,” He pulled himself onto the counter and sat watching Evan make drinks. “Is the only thing you all remember about me the fact that I like sugar in my tea?”
Evan laughed again and pushed a mug over to James. “Well, you can’t blame me, it is rather a lot, isn’t it? And no, I also remember that you are allergic to strawberries.”
Picking up the mug and smiling, James raised an eyebrow at him. “You only remember that because of the number of times I had to remind you not to kiss me after eating them because you are strangely obsessed with them.”
“It is not!” Evan’s cheeks were slightly red when he stepped past James to go to the living room. “Grab whatever you want and come through in a minute so we can talk about the plan for visiting Hurley. You can take as much as you like, just get off the counter by the time Reg gets here, or he’ll go berserk.”
James ended up getting some toast with butter and sitting on the sofa he had first woken up on, sitting in awkward silence across from Evan, who didn’t seem to have much to say.
Eventually, Barty saved them both; he walked in and planted a firm kiss on Evan’s cheek, then walked over to James to do the same thing. Evan froze for a second, before nodding and smiling in a way that clearly said. ‘Good for you. I expected as much.’ James smiled awkwardly at Evan and went back to eating his toast before he did anything stupid.
“So…Hurley tomorrow. Looking forward to it? I can’t imagine it will be too difficult to get him to tell us what we want to know, he has a reputation for-”
“Giving into flirting, yes, I know. Thank you, Evan.” That came out a bit more clipped than he was intending it to. “Sorry, that was rude. Just…you’re going to flirt with him and stuff. That’s the plan, yeah?”
Evan frowned slightly. “Yeah? Is that okay?”
“Why wouldn’t it be?”
The atmosphere was rather tense, it took a few minutes to break it with a clap as he stood up. “Right. Pen and parchment. Back in a minute.”
After he left, they sat awkwardly for a few more minutes until he came back with some parchment and something James had never seen before.
“What on earth is that?” He picked it up and turned it around in his hand, trying to deduce the purpose from its appearance.
“Biro.” Was the only answer Barty gave.
“What?”
He tried to hide a smile and turned to mutter to Evan. “He’s even worse than you and Reg.” Then, he turned back to James and leaned on the arm of Evan’s armchair. “It’s like a muggle quill. Can’t believe you’ve never seen one before. Surely Evans, MacDonald, Lupin and the rest of them carried them around?”
James shrugged, still frowning at the Biro. “Dunno, I didn’t really check to be honest. How does it work?”
“You literally just write like you would with a quill but you don't need to dip it in ink because it’s already inside the pen.”
James thought his brain would stop working if he asked any more questions so he just nodded slowly and started writing, shocked at how weirdly smooth it felt to write with it compared to the texture of the quill nib on parchment that he was used to.
Dear Lily,
Before I say anything important, YOU CAN’T TELL ANYBODY ABOUT THIS! Don’t react when you receive this letter, don’t let anyone know I’ve gotten in contact. It sounds mean but you need to trust me. I’m not in danger or anything, I just can’t tell anybody else about this, they would probably make it something it didn’t need to become. You could probably tell Marlene but they do have a reptation for telling Dorcas everything and Dorcas has a reputation for telling…well, everyone else. So maybe not.
The others have probably told you that Dumbledore sent me out on a mission. I could have just left you believing that but somebody needed to know the truth in case anything happens to me. I should be okay, they wouldn’t let anything bad happen to me but I just need you to know so if anything does go wrong, you can tell them the truth.
I’ll stop faffing and just get on with it. I am not on a mission for Dumbledore. I am currently in the house of three particular Slytherins you probably remember me talking to you about. They had a change of heart, I guess, and we are working together to do something important. War-alerting level important. I am sorry that I can’t tell you too much and I know how this looks but I promise it’s okay. I know what I’m doing.
-James
Ps. WHY DID YOU NEVER TELL ME WHAT A BIRO WAS?! THEY ARE INGENIOUS!
Just water he had sent Penelope off with the letter, Regulus came into the room, his jaw clenched when he saw everyone eating on his sofas. He sat down across from James and sighed, rubbing his eyes with his hand.
“Right. Let’s just get to it and figure out the plan, shall we?” The others nodded and watched as Regulus sorted out various rolls of parchment on the table. “I’ve got everything down here so you two need to pay attention. It shouldn’t be too difficult but I would rather have us all on the same page.”
He arranged the sheets on the coffee table and looked at them or a minute whilst he tried to figure out what to talk about when.
“Okay, this is a map of the house. It isn’t exactly relevant because you will mostly be sticking to this part,” He pointed to a large area labelled as the ‘gathering hall’, whatever that meant. “But if you need to sneak out to talk at any point, I would recommend going through here,” Pointing at a door towards the bck of the hall, Regulus looked up to make sure everybody was listening. “It’s the way Sirius and I escaped when we last went. She found it and immediately ran back to me to show me that he found an unlocked door. I know what you’re wondering, James. I can’t go back there now because he will recognise me too quickly and remember me from when I was a child, it will put him off flirting with his and flirting is what we need. It is crucial. Evan’s parents never attended formal gatherings form people like him, my parents only went so they could leech off of his knowledge of the dark arts, they never truly respected him. So he wouldn’t recognise Evan from when he was younger and would feel less guilty about flirting with him, so he is clearly the best option. Barty is a terrible flirt and gets distracted easily so he’s off the table and you would be decent backup, understood?”
Silently, James nodded and forced a fake smile, still trying to compute everything he had just heard. “Sure. What’s the rest of the writing for?”
“I’m glad you asked. This is how you are going to approach the conversation.” He slid the parchment across the tableand James looked at it, lost for words. Evanshuffled over to see it and did almost the exact same thing. There were words filling every corner of the sheet, complex instructions with various ‘dos’ and ‘don’ts’ jotted next to them.
“We have to memorise all of this?”
Regulus scoffed and shook his head. “Of course not! That would be pointless, there is no way of predicting exactly how a conversation will go, just make sure you divert it back to the points I have put down for you if it gets too off-topic, yes? Look, you’ll be fine. I promise it won’t be that complicated, just try to get the points in your head and you will be perfectly prepared. All you need to do it show up on time andget some information out of him. Good?”
Evan smiled confidently. “Yup, I’ve done worse things for this hunt, I am sure it will go perfectly well. We will probably only need to spen around 10 minutes there to get something out of him but I do think that staying another 50 after that would be for the best, or he will get suspicious. I think we have this in the bag!”
Regulus nodded and looked over to James, who only shrugged. “I mean sure. Can’t be too tricky, can it?”
“Good. Now, you have to remember that Hurley is a natural legilimens,” Oh shit. He should have known this would be all too easy. “All vamps are. It’s how wizards learnt to do it. He will fid a way to get into your mind andpeek around to see if you are sincere if he must. It will only happen if you are acting suspicious but the second you feel him there, you need to either shut him out or get out of there and back home as soon as you can, understood?” The use of the words ‘home’ to describe the house made James feel both warm and make his stomach churn. He didn’t know if he loved or hated the thought of it.”
Both James and Evan nodded, prompting Regulus to smile and gather in the notes he did not need, leaving the conversation prompts in front of the two of them. “Let’s do something fun, shall we? What do we think about sitting and reading?”
James stared down at the sheet of parchment before him, reading the words but not processing any of them. All he could think about was the fact that very soon, he was going to visit the house of some dark arts obsessed, blood sucking legilimens who was going to flirt with Evan right in front of him whilst James was trying to remember Regulus’ plan well enough to follow it at least somewhat effectively. Well, this was going to be great. What had James gotten himself into?