hog's head
[09:21] im on my way over
[09:35] wake up and let me in
[09:42] WAKE UPPPP YOU PRAT
im gonna kick your door in i swear to god
REGULUSSSS
[ Missed call from Sirius Black ]
[ Missed call from Sirius Black ]
[ Missed call from Sirius Black ]
[ Missed call from Sirius Black ]
[ Missed call from Sirius Black ]
[ Missed call from Sirius Black ]
[10:12] i fucking despise you
[10:13] let me in
[10:13] go get me coffee and i’ll think about it
[10:14] wtf im literally already here
[10:14] ok
i dont care
get me coffee and maybe i’ll let you in
there’s a costa down the street
[10:15] …
fine what do you want
[10:15] iced caramel oat milk latte x
thank youuuuu x
[10:16] whatever x
[10:31] im back let me in
[10:32] maybe
“You’re lucky I love you,” Sirius muttered as he walked into Regulus’ flat. Regulus rolled his eyes, shutting the door and taking his coffee from Sirius’ hand.
“It’s not my fault you decided to show up, unannounced, demanding that I let you in.” Regulus noted, moving to sit down on the couch.
Sirius scoffed, tugging his leather jacket off and tossing it over the back of one of the armchairs in his brother’s living room. “Fair enough. I just wanted to check in.”
“You can do that through a phone call, you know.”
“Yeah, but we haven’t seen each other since I got tattooed by your friend. I miss you.”
Regulus frowned slightly and took another drink of his coffee. “…fair enough.”
The brothers fell into a short silence, both drinking their coffees. They’d never been great at communicating with each other, especially when they were younger. But ever since Regulus had ran away, and even more so after he came out, communicating had been easier for them. Especially since it felt like they weren’t hiding anything from each other anymore. That didn’t mean that they never struggled talking to each other; they had spent hours in complete silence around each other, unsure of how to start a conversation that didn’t spiral into talking about their parents. But when they did talk, it was becoming easier. Less screaming, less arguing, and more actual discussions about everything that they went through, how the abuse was different for each of them, how they’d begun trying to move on. Things were hard, they always would be, but they were learning.
“I like how you decorated the flat,” Sirius said softly, breaking the silence between the two. “I haven’t really taken a good look at your decorations or anything. It looks nice.”
Regulus’ heart swelled, a small smile on his lips. “Thanks. Pandora and Dorcas helped me.”
“James helped Remus and I decorate our flat. We were so focused on book and vinyl storage that we’d forgotten to get a dining room table.”
A laugh left Regulus, his head falling back against the back of his couch. “Why does that not surprise me?”
Sirius scoffed, a bright grin on his lips. “Oi, shut it. When two queers move in together, there’s a shit ton of vinyl you have to account for. My collection doubled, I had to accommodate it!”
“Fair, but vinyl storage is a bit less important than a dining table. Your experience and my experience were very different; I had a bean bag chair that I got from a charity shop, a dining table, and an air mattress for the first month that I lived here.”
“Actually?”
“Yeah. I wasn’t really focused on decorations, and was more focused on trying not to starve to death. When Dorcas found out, though, she took me to a couple charity shops to get decorations for the place,” Regulus said, recalling just how appalled Dorcas had been when she learned that Regulus didn’t even have a plant in his lounge. She’d taken him to a bunch of charity shops, finding him some cheap furniture, like bookshelves and a coffee table, before taking him to IKEA and getting him more important pieces like a couch and a bedframe and mattress. She’d even given him her old TV, which he’d tried to refuse, but she’d insisted he took it.
Pandora had taken care of Regulus’ clothing, getting insight from their old friend Evan and from the holy land of fashion inspiration, Pinterest, about masculine fashion and clothing styles, different ways to masculinize a feminine frame, everything. They’d both helped him contact his doctor and start the transitioning process, getting him on testosterone, even going with him to consultations for top surgery in the future. He knew he would have managed without their help, but if they hadn’t pushed him to get his shit together, he might still be sitting on an old bean bag chair, eating cheap ramen noodles from the petrol station down the block every night for dinner.
Though, he still loved those cheap ramen noodles.
“They seem good for you,” Sirius said. “I’m sorry that I keep bringing everything back to…well, our parents, but when I left, James taking me in was the best thing that ever happened to me. I don’t think I would have survived if I didn’t have him to fall back on. So I’m glad you had the means, and the people, necessary to get out. I’m proud of you, I want you to know that.”
“Christ, Sirius, it’s too early for you to be a sop,” Regulus said, tears dangerously close to falling from his eyes.
“It’s the truth, though. I know that…I know that I should have brought you with me,” Sirius said softly. “I regret not coming back for you every day. But knowing that you got out, and you’re safe now, and you have a community of people like Pandora and Dorcas, Remus and I, James, even, that are here for you throughout anything that happens…it’s more than I ever could have done for you, especially at 16. We went through horrible things, and now look at us, ending Walburga and Orion’s bloodline.”
Regulus chuckled softly, wiping his eyes. “We really did that, huh. God, I can’t even imagine how she acted when I left.”
Sirius sat up straighter in his chair. “Why did you leave?” Sirius asked. “I just…well, I realized that I never learned why you left.”
He breathed out shakily, taking another drink of his coffee. “Well,” Regulus said. “It’s a long story.”
“I have time.” Sirius said, simply.
As if he wasn't asking Regulus to cut out his heart and throw it against the wall.
[ head to the next line break to skip ]
Regulus sighed. “Alright,” He said. “She’d grounded me, pulled me out of school. Tried to isolate me from everyone. Thankfully, my friends and…boyfriend, at the time, all kept trying to keep in contact with me. Burner phones, letters left taped to my window, emails. The final straw for me was them telling me that-,” Regulus paused, feeling his breath hitch in his throat. He ran his fingers over the condensation that was pilling up and sliding down his cup, taking a deep breath.
“They told me that they’d help me transition, they’d pay for my transition entirely, if I became the sole owner of their company, take over all responsibilities as soon as I turned eighteen. I would have to give up all of my freedom, my choice for what to do with my body, when and how I wanted to transition, and I would become the sole owner of the family business,” Regulus said. “On one hand, I’d be set for life. I would have all the money I would ever need, I would be untouchable. On the other hand, though, I would have no freedom over my bodily autonomy. They would make the decisions. If they didn’t like the name I chose, I would have to change it to one they liked if I wanted to keep my job. I would have to get surgery as soon as possible. I would have no choice.”
One thing that Regulus always appreciated about Sirius, was that he never interrupted when someone was speaking about something important. Even though he had stopped talking, taking a pause to gather his thoughts, Sirius hadn’t said a word yet. Reg could tell that he wanted to, but he wasn’t going to. Regulus appreciated that.
“So I ran. In the middle of the night, 3 hours into being eighteen years old, I ran. Left with just a backpack and a small suitcase, got the train to Cambridge to Andy’s house. I got my bike, and then went to Pandora’s house. She helped me from there,” He said. “Mother and father were pissed, of course. Tried calling me for days until I got a new phone. But I haven’t heard anything from them since, which is slightly off-putting. I’m half expecting them to ambush me in the middle of the street.” Regulus said with a dry laugh. Sirius smiled slightly, letting out a small laugh as well.
The brothers were silent for a few minutes.
[ welcome back :) enjoy the rest of the fic ]
“I’m proud of you for leaving,” Sirius reiterated. “Walburga and Orion are disgusting, horrible people. You were given a choice, whether they realized it or not, and you chose the smart answer. I’m proud of you for getting out from under their boot. I’m proud of us,” Sirius paused, reaching over to grab Regulus’ hand. Sirius’ hands were calloused, from years of playing the bass simply because Walburga said she didn’t like improper instruments. “for leaving that horrible place. We got out; it’s our turn to be the ones in charge of our lives.”
Regulus smiled at Sirius, eyes welling up with tears. “I love you, Sirius. I know we don’t say it very often, but I do. You’re the best big brother I could ever ask for.”
“God, you’re going to make me start crying even more. You’re the best little brother I could ever dream of,” Sirius said through a small laugh, using his free hand to rub his eyes. Regulus laughed, which made Sirius laugh more. “Now, let’s do something else before we cry more.” Sirius said.
“Like what?”
“Like, I don’t know, playing a board game. We were always pretty good at Monopoly, yeah?”
[13:21] SIRIUS IS A DIRTY FUCKING CHEATER
dont listen to what he tells you
hes a BITCH
[13:22] ????????
what is happening
[13:22] sirius cheats at monopoly
he stole money from the bank i watched him do it
he keeps denying it
[13:23] why would you play monopoly with him
[13:23] it was sirius’ idea
we were having a deep conversation and needed to stop being sad
[13:24] ah i understand
what was the convo about?
[13:24] childhood trauma lol x
why i left
shit like that
[13:25] mmm
important conversation?
[13:25] very important
we haven’t actually had any conversations about it or anything, so it was important to have
then we started playing monopoly
and hes a filthy fuckin CHEATER!!!!!!!!!!!!!
[13:26] first of all, im very proud of you for having such important conversations, its very brave of you to be doing that and im proud of you
second of all, thats not surprising he used to cheat at rugby when we would play
[13:26] you played rugby
that makes sense
[13:27] ?????
what does that mean im sweating
[13:28] you’re fit
lots of stamina
makes sense that you played rugby
[13:29] i am literally at my parents house rn
love, you cant say shit like that
or i will lose my cool
[13:29] interesting
i’ll keep that in mind babe x
anyways sirius thinks im cheating now so i gotta go
byeeeeee <3
[13:30] dear universe
this boy will be the death of me
love james x
unnamed chat
jamesfpotter added flowermeadowes and pandoraexplorer
jamesfpotter: hello everyone
i’ve gathered you here today because i have
questions
flowermeadowes: this is so ominous
pandoraexplorer: are you gonna be playing good cop and bad cop
pandoraexplorer changed the group name to the interrogation room
jamesfpotter: HELP
ANYWAYS !!!!!
i would like to know if either of you
think its a smart idea
to ask regulus to be my boyfriend
tomorrow night
pandoraexplorer: WOOOOO FINALLY
flowermeadowes: OH MY GOD
YES PLEASE DO IT
PLEASE JAMES
jamesfpotter: oh my god
okay fuck i will
pandorexplorer: omg this is so exciting
i cant wait x
flowermeadowes: dont make it a big thing tho
he gets embarrassed really easily
so if you ask him at hog’s head
dont make it a big thing
pandoraexplorer: oh my god yeah
dont make it big
he will say no out of embarrassment and leave
jamesfpotter: ok i understand
don’t 📝 make 📝 it 📝 extravagant 📝 or 📝 regulus 📝 will 📝 hate 📝 me 📝
pandoraexplorer: good
keep taking notes
do it privately fr
flowermeadowes: like take him outside and do it or something
also
even if u chicken out
he likes physical affection
pandoraexplorer: this is so true
he won’t tell you he likes it
but he does
jamesfpotter: physical affection
but not anything major
anything else?
flowermeadowes: umm
he gets a redbull vodka every time we go out
pandoraexplorer: he says it tastes better than straight vodka but we both prefer vodka crans so whatever he says i guess
flowermeadowes: he hates beer
don't get him beer
pandoraexplorer: thats all i can think of rn
jamesfpotter: i will never be able to repay you both
flowermeadowes: buy us a round of drinks at hog’s head
we’ll call it even x
pandoraexplorer: so true! <3
jamesfpotter: done and done <3
thank you both so much
i love you both forreal x
flowermeadowes: such a sop x
love u too or whatever x
pandoraexplorer: LOVE YOUUUUU X <3
[12:21] what are you wearing
[12:22] to hog’s head?
not sure yet
[12:22] fuck
i cant figure out what to wear and moony is over at regulus’ place with pandora and dorcas getting ready
[12:23] i’ll be over in 20
[12:23] ur a lifesaver
bring options for outfits x
[12:24] kk x
my best friends <3
wolfywolf: 2 Photos
aren’t we sexy!!!!!!!!!!!
stargazerlily: OH MY GOOOOD
y’all look incredible oh my fucking god
jamesfpotter: *jaw drops to floor, eyes pop out of sockets accompanied by trumpets, heart beats out of chest, awooga awooga sound effect, pulls chain on train whistle that has appeared next to head as steam blows out, slams fists on table, rattling any plates, bowls or silverware, whistles loudly, fireworks shoot from top of head, pants loudly as tongue hangs out of mouth, wipes comically large bead of sweat from forehead, clears throat, straightens tie, combs hair*
ahem, you look very lovely :)
regulusblack: LMFAO HELP????
siriusblack: LMAOJDSJDKJDS JAMES IM CRYING
flowermeadowes: SJHDFJHSD
wolfywolf: JAMES ICANT BREAHTE
ANYWAYS
is everyone ready for tonight or whatttt xx
pandoraexplorer: fuck eyah i am mmmm xxxxx
regulusblack: can you tell pandora started pregaming already
marthebartender: you look great guys :D
esp dorcas
flowermeadowes: ur so sweet thank u <3
pandoraexplorer: @reg bitCHC bring back the aclgoll
regulusblack: no
you’ll throw up in dorcas’ new car
jamesfpotter: ooo what car did you get @dorcas
flowermeadowes: a red 2022 bmw 5 series x
siriusblack: ???????
oh my fucking god
flowermeadowes: ive been saving up for like 4 years LMAOOO
regulusblack: piercing pays well x
flowermeadowes: still trying to get u to work at my shop
regulusblack: I Have Too Many Commissions I Have To Finish First
jamesfpotter: omg
you could design flash tattoos for the shop tho!!!
pandoraexplorer: GYUYSS REMU TOOK AWYA THE ALCOHOHL
stargazerlily: see you guys tonight x
mary and i might be a bit late because we’re closing the shop but we’ll be there soon x
They’d just spent the last 20 minutes taking turns finding ways to get Pandora to stop trying to take more pregame shots and drink water instead (Remus had figured out that if Pandora wasn’t watching her pour the shots, he could fill the glasses up with water instead and trick her), putting the finishing touches on their outfits, and coordinating with Sirius and James about when they were going to be arriving at the pub.
Dorcas, after adjusting her plum colored bodycon dress, pushed her locs behind her back so she could finish applying her lipstick. Regulus was standing next to her, pulling the leather jacket Dorcas asked him to wear over his green t-shirt. “Your makeup looks great,” Regulus said, giving Dorcas a smile.
She smiled at Regulus through the mirror, putting the cap back on her lipstick. “Thanks, I was worried it was too much purple,” She said, gesturing to the purple, shimmery eyeshadow spread over her eyelids. “But I think it works, as long as I put a black jacket on.”
“Nah, it works great. Very complimentary,” Regulus said. He adjusted the rings on his fingers and went to the living room to check on Remus and Pandora.
Remus and Pandora were dancing in the living room together, poorly singing along to Tiny Dancer by Elton John while they did. Pandora’s sage green skirt was twirling around her, getting caught around her and Remus’ legs while they danced. Remus had already taken off his denim jacket, presumably already overheating with how much the two had been dancing. Regulus chuckled, leaning against the wall, watching them with a smile.
Pan and Remus had developed a close friendship since Remus was added to their group. It reminded Regulus of how his friendship with Dorcas had sprouted; he’d joined a study group with Evan, who was already friends with Dorcas. Short study dates and late night car rides to the beach had tumbled into a friendship that Regulus had never assumed he’d ever have. It was made of solid steel, an unbreakable bond that Regulus knew was made to last. It made him happy to see that Pandora and Remus had already become such close friends.
“Ready to go, losers?” Dorcas asked. They all filed out of Dorcas’ flat, heading down to the carpark and over to where Dorcas’ car was parked.
“I get to choose the music,” Pandora said excitedly, climbing into the backseat. Remus followed shortly afterwards.
Regulus rolled his eyes as he slid into the passenger’s seat next to Dorcas, who was driving.
“No, you don’t. Regulus gets to pick the music since he’s in the passenger’s seat. I’m driving, you’re drunk, and Remus is the only responsible adult here.” Dorcas said, starting the engine. Regulus pulled out his phone, quickly reading James’ we’re on our way text, and pulling Spotify up on his phone. “What’re the vibes for the ride?” He asked, looking over his shoulder towards the backseat, where Remus was trying to stop Pandora from rolling the window up and down.
“Something to distract her,” Remus said jokingly, making Regulus laugh. He queued up a couple of songs, sufficiently distracting Pan with an extremely passionate rendition of Waterloo by ABBA. By the time they had gotten to the Hog’s Head, which was about a 20 minute drive from Dorcas’ flat, they had gone through Fergie, Kesha, Dolly Parton, more ABBA, Taylor Swift, and Britney Spears. Pandora had tired herself out enough that she was more sober than when she got in the car, so they all helped her into the pub, spotting the others at a large table in the corner.
Regulus’ eyes immediately caught James, who was wearing a red button down shirt, the sleeves cuffed to show off his forearms. He caught a glimpse of the bottom of James’ stag tattoo when he raised his arm up to wave the group over, immediately making Sirius move so Regulus had somewhere to sit. He slid into the booth next to James, immediately noticing how James’ arm landed comfortably around his shoulders across the back of the booth. He chose to ignore the flush staining his cheeks and quickly joined the conversation.
Peter, Mary, and Lily showed up a few minutes after they did, immediately finding their places at the large table. Mary and Pandora immediately became engrossed in a conversation about the crystals Pandora had in her purse. Remus, Sirius, Peter, and James were all talking about the pranks they used to pull while they were at Hogwarts; Peter excluded, since he was homeschooled. Dorcas had already gone to the bar to chat with Marlene during her shift.
“So, I heard you like Taylor Swift as well,” Lily said, scooting closer to Regulus. He smiled, nodding eagerly.
“I do,” He said. “I’ve loved her since I was a kid.”
Lily grinned brightly. “So, what’s your favorite album? Mine’s probably 1989 or folklore.” She said.
Regulus turned so he could face her properly, furrowing his brow. “Fuck, I have a soft spot for Speak Now.”
“You seem more like a Reputation person.”
“I get that a lot. Reputation is definitely in my top three, though. Lover and evermore often switch out for spot number three.”
“God, I love Lover. When I get married, if my first dance isn’t to Lover, I’m going to bawl.” Lily said, laughing.
Regulus grinned and laughed along with her, brushing his hair out of his eyes. “Lover is, like, the perfect wedding song. Death By A Thousand Cuts and Paper Rings are personal favorites of mine.”
A couple hours had passed since the beginning of the night. James had gone up to the bar and gotten Regulus his favorite drink (when did he learn that?), so he had been sipping off of it for a bit. James was nursing a beer, similar to Sirius, Remus, and Peter, who were all talking about how Peter had gotten into tattooing. Dorcas and Marlene had gone back up to the bar, and Lily had become engrossed in Mary and Pandora’s conversation about their favorite classic novels.
“Anyone need another drink?” Regulus asked after he finished his. Sirius nodded, tipping his beer towards Regulus so he knew which kind to get. James asked for the same beer Sirius was getting.
Regulus walked up to the bar and ordered two beers, and a Vodka cran for himself. Out of the corner of his eye, he spotted Dorcas and Marlene chatting while she was making drinks for a guest. He waved at Dorcas, who quickly came up to him.
“Reg, you’re never going to believe it,” She said.
“What’s up?”
Dorcas grabbed Regulus’ hands, holding them tightly. Her nails carved small half circles into his palms, but he didn’t mind.
“We talked. She wants to take me on a date, but thought I was dating Pandora. We’re gonna go on a date on her next day off,” Dorcas said excitedly. “I told her I was scared that what happened between us meant nothing, and she told me that she wanted me if I wanted her.”
Regulus grinned, squeezing her hands gently. “Cas, that’s amazing! I’m so excited for you!”
“I’m so happy right now.”
“I’m so happy for you, Cas. This is so exciting!” Regulus said. “I told you she was probably just nervous. Tell me everything when we get home.” He said, grabbing the two beers and his glass and bringing them back to the table. He slid Sirius’ beer across the table to him, to which Sirius gave him a smile. He handed James’ beer to him, and sat back down in the booth.
James leaned over. “Hey,” He said softly, pressing a short kiss onto Regulus’ cheek.
“Hi,” Regulus responded, turning his head to face James.
“Having a good night?” James asked.
Reg nodded. “Yeah,” He said. “Everything is great.”
James smiled warmly, drumming his fingers against the side of his beer bottle. “I did want to ask you something, but I feel like it might be easier if we did it outside. Follow me?” He asked and held his hand out for Regulus to take.
He looked at James for a few moments before taking his hand, following James out through the back door of the pub. It led out to a small back garden, some small tables and benches for guests lining the walls. It was lit by a small lamp hanging from the wall, the warm yellow light illuminating the brick pathway for them. He felt James run his fingers over the rings on his fingers, pulling him to a secluded bench towards the back of the garden.
They sat down next to each other.
“Did you bring me out here to kill me or something?” Regulus joked. James laughed, pushing his glasses up on his nose.
“No, I, uh…” He said, looking down at their hands. “I actually came out here to ask you a question.”
Regulus was silent, watching James curiously.
James cleared his throat. “We met under some incredibly funny circumstances, and to think that a drunk text from me trying to get ahold of your brother would lead to where we are now is…well, insane, honestly,” He said with a laugh. “I haven’t really felt this way for anyone in a very long time. If we’re moving too fast, then please let me know, but,” James paused for a moment.
Regulus felt his heartbeat speed up, heart pounding in his chest.
“I’d like to make it official with you, if that's alright,” James said, looking up at Regulus, stormy grey eyes meeting warm hazel ones. “Will you be my boyfriend?”