Moonage daydreaming of you

Summer 73’

~

Sirius Black

 It’s about two minutes into summer holiday and Sirius Black already wants to go back to school. He stands at his front door, waiting to build up the courage to just open it. Regulus is behind him dragging his bags towards him.

“Y’know if you're just going to sit there and wait for your hair to grow you might as well carry my bag” Regulus grits out, annoyance lacing his voice as he scolds his brother.

Sirius blinks a few times before turning away from the door, he leans down and grabs Regulus’s trunk. That feels like it weighs about a ton “Merlin, what’d you pack in here” Sirius groans as he struggles to lift his bag. 

“None of your business “ regulus says quietly , his eyes rolling away from him.Sirius squints his eyes at his younger brother. “Then carry my trunk” Sirius points his gaze to his luggage that sits on the ground just in front of the door. 

“Fine” regulus murmurs , dragging his feet to Sirius’s luggage. Regulus picks it up lazily, holding it up with ease compared to his luggage. He opens the front door and Sirius feels his heart fall to his stomach, his breath hitched in his chest. 

His brother takes a short step forward, his feet not dragging along the ground anymore, his posture is tense and his knuckles turn a ghost white from his grip on the luggage. Sirius tries to step forward, but it feels like his shoes are cemented to the ground. 

“Sirius” regulus whispers softly, he can tell by his brother's tone he’s begging him to walk with him. Sirius doesn’t answer, he stands silently looking at the back of his brother's head, his dark curly hair sits perfectly on his head, neat and tidy just like mother and father love it. Sirius’s hair blows, his long curls trickle his face. He can tell his hair sits just the opposite of his brother's,  disorderly and untidy.

 “Sirius “ regulus repeats through gritted teeth. He turns his head to face Sirius, his jaw that was once tense softens at the sight of his brother. Regulus blinks at Sirius, and Sirius just wants to melt into the ground so he never has to take another step forward. 

Regulus takes a step back and brings his hand to the sleeve of Sirius’s button up.  “Come on. It’s okay, I’ll do all the talking” Regulus slides his arm around Sirius’s. Sirius moves his hand to Regulus’s, his fingers instinctively intertwining with Regulus’s . Regulus gives his hand a squeeze before taking a step forward. Sirius drags along behind tiredly.  Regulus is holding on so tightly Sirius is sure he’s cutting off his circulation.

 “I don’t think they’re home” Regulus whispers as a breath of relief escapes his mouth. Sirius feels his breath steady, like a cork had been pulled from his chest, his lungs thanking him for a deep breath as he walks shortly behind his younger brother.  Sirius can’t help but feel very small at this moment. He’s usually the one comforting his brother, not the other way around.

“Cousin!” The high pitched voice scrapes his eardrums like nails on a chalkboard . “Bellatrix, how nice to see you” regulus murmurs pleasantly, his voice drenched in sarcasm.

“Oh Look at you you’ve got your hair back” Bellatrix clicks her tongue to the roof of her mouth, as she takes her fingers through Sirius’s hair. 

Summer 72’

Sirius sits at a family dinner , his hands placed respectively in his lap. He doesn’t open his mouth, he just sits and observes. 

“So Sirius” his aunt Druella starts. “Gryffindor “ she pauses and the entire table's eyes turn to Sirius . “That’s a first.” She says slyly.

Sirius swallows the lump in his throat that instantly feels dry under the pressure or everyone’s eyes . “Mhm “ Sirius hums in response.

“Do you take pride in disgracing your family?” His uncle Cygnus spits out. Sirius feels his stomach twist in knots

“Oh please be you're one to talk to Cygnus” His father scoffs. “Hasn't your daughter run off with some mudblood?” Sirius sees Cygnuss jaw lock, he looks so mad Sirius can basically see steam blowing out from his ears. Bellatrix and Narcissa stiff up at the mention of their sister.

“I don’t know what you're talking about, “ Druella hums eerily , she straightens out her posture “We only have our two daughters,“  she suggests to Bellatrix and Narcissa. Who both sit silently , narcissa looks as if she’s on the verge of tears.

“Oh that’s rich” Alphrad rolls his eyes bringing his wine glass to his mouth.

“Fuck off alpharad.” Cygnus hisses. “Y’know not once has there been a gryffindor in this family, and look at you!  your hairs all long. What are you trying to be? A girl?”   

Sirius' chest is heaving at this point he bites on the tip of his tongue to stop himself from talking back. Sirius can feel his parents glare on the side of his head. Burning into his skull.

“It makes sense too. Your friends with blood traitors”  Cygnus continues , and Sirius can’t help but have words spill form his mouth.

“Y’know what, fuck you. Fuck all of you . James is more family than any of you will ever be.” Sirius instantly goes stiff from his outburst. He looks around the table, waiting for his punishment. His mother slowly stands up, Her chair scraping the floor.  She walks over to Sirius and he sucks in a deep breath, he heels tap against the floor as she stops behind his chair.

Her hand reaches out to Sirius’s scalp, pulling in the roots on his hair. Sirius hisses in a breath. 

“Mom-“ regulus cuts in, his voice real he reaches his arm out for Sirius. “Shut up. Unless you want to be a part of this”  

Regulus opens his mouth but Sirius cuts in.  “It’s okay reg.” Sirius looks at Regulus, his eyes filled with tears, his chin wobbling. His mother tugs on his hair some more dragging him out of his chair.

She pulls him into the kitchen that light dimly. She drops her hand from his scalp as she scrambles around the drawers. “These stupid house elves, don’t know where anything is in this house- a ha” . Sirius slowly turns his gaze to his mother as he finds himself staring at the scissors in her right hand.

His eyes instantly fill with tears. “Moth-mom please” Sirius begs as tears run down his cheeks. “Not my hair” Sirius continues to cry. He feels like a baby crying for his mother to hold him. “Please mom.” 

His mother seems to take pleasure in his tears , as she brings the scissors to his hair. Sirius bites his bottom lip to muffle his tears as she cuts, he can’t help but hiccup every time a piece of hair falls to the ground. She finishes cutting his hair, just before his father comes raging in the room.

Sirius flinches , widening his eyes as the door slams behind him. A hand instantly slaps across his face. “What a fucking disgrace “ his father hisses. “Embarrassing me and your mother in front of everyone!” He yells, Sirius sucks in a breath as he tenses his shoulders.

His mother steps back. “I’ll leave you two alone” she coos. Sirius feels his stomach knot tighten, as she leaves the kitchen.

Crucio. Is the last word Sirius black heard before the world went dark for a moment.

It had to be an hour later when Sirius woke up , the kitchen that was once lightly dim , it now pitch dark. The only light coming in is from the crescent moon in the window. Sirius takes a sharp breath as he realizes his head lies on someone’s lap, just to let out a sigh of relief to realize it’s regulus.. 

“Sirius?” Regulus asks weakly, He instantly reaches out his hand to Sirius’s face, stroking his wet face. “Are you okay ?” His voice squeaks out. Sirius nods shortly, he wants to use his words but his mouth won’t let him. That’s a first.

He decides to sit up and the first thing he sees is  dry blood trickled down his bandaged legs. He doesn’t have the energy to even check what the problem is, he adjusts himself to be sitting next to  regulus. He rests his head on his shoulder, he doesn't realize he’s soaking Regulus’s shirt with his tears until he hears a muffled cry from regulus.

“We’ll be alright “ regulus mumbles, wrapping his arm around sirius.

Present Day

Sirius sits on Regulus’s bed, his knees are brought to his chest as he analyzes Regulus’s room. It’s simple, but so interesting at the same time his walls are painted black with star details . His bed has a green canopy and the rest of his room is clean and organized.

“Reg?” Sirius murmurs quietly to his brother who’s putting away his clothes from his luggage. Which Sirius has yet to do with his, he’s sure he’ll never get to it for the rest of the summer

“Hm” regulus hums in response, as he places a shirt neatly in his wardrobe . “Did you put those bandages on me last year?”

“No” regulus answers blankly, a moment of utter silence passes before regulus continues. “Well not entirely, Uncle Alphrad helped” he keeps his gaze away from Sirius , as he remembers the night.

“He did?” Sirius questions, he drops his knees from his chest and flops his hands into his lap. 

“He came into the kitchen for a drink after. Father was done with you, he saw me struggling to get you cleaned up so he helped “ Regulus voice ends up becoming wry by the end of his sentence. 

“I’m sorry-“

“Don’t” regulus cuts in, shooting his eyes to Sirius. “There’s no point “ regulus stopped folding his clothes, he just firmly held onto one of his shirts as he directed his eyes away from his brother. Sirius pushes his way up to stand just an inch taller than his brother. They have to be just about a foot away from his brother.

“I’m sorry “ Sirius swallows repeating the words Regulus had just stopped “im sorry” he continues , tears stinging his eyes “i'm bad I know I am”

Regulus stands quietly as he drops his wrinkled shirt , taking a step forward as he pulls Sirius into a hug. He wraps his hand behind Sirius' head, burying his head into his chest. Sirius can’t help but feel small at this moment but he doesn’t care. He melts into his little brother wrapping his arms so tight around him like his life depends on it.

“It’s okay, Sirius” regulus whispers , resting his head against his, as he cards his fingers through his older brother's hair. “It’s not your fault” regulus whispers, earning a muffled sob from Sirius . 

Yes it is. Sirius thinks . It’s all my fault. It’s all my fault and you know it.

“We’ll be alright. Right?” Sirius mumbles pushing himself away suddenly becoming taller than his brother who was just holding him against his chest. “Yes, we’ll be alright “ regulus affirms, a sad smile flickers across his face.

“Okay” Sirius nods, wiping away his tears with his sleeve. He sniffles just before Regulus pulls him into another hug, the two brothers rest their heads on eachothers shoulders. As their arms wrap around one another .

We’ll be alright.