miscommunication and models

*

(private chat)

remus: youve broken the internets hearts

marlene: they deserved it

marlene: full offense when i say i couldn't take one more moment of people believing i was dating you x

marlene: love you but if i see one more 'bestfriend' edit of me and dorcas I'm going to start hitting people.

remus: i get it

remus: proud of you marls <3

marlene: yeah yeah

marlene: me too. :)

*

They had been officially Jamie-free for two weeks. During those two weeks a ton of shit happened. 1. They set a date to release their album. 2. They set tour dates. 3. They got new social media accounts. 4. They did interviews. So. Many. Fucking. Interviews. There was no space to breathe, and personally, Peter loved it. 

The band had never been his dream, in all honesty, Peter wasn't sure he had ever had a life dream like most people he knew. The band had been Sirius’ dream, he had always wanted to succeed. Finding Lily had been James' dream, he had always wanted someone for life. And although Remus never said it, Peter was quite sure his dream was them. He wanted a family.

Peter just wanted to be happy.

And he was! Really he was.

But he would be so much happier if his friends weren't so self-destructive.

Yes! He's still mad about it! It's been nearly a month! He loves those idiots, and yes he knows they have problems but if they could just talk...

“I know, Pete. I agree with you, I do.” James threw his hands up, “But we can't push them.”

“We bloody well can.” Peter argued, “Pushing is easy. Pushing doesn't cause my hair to fall out from stress.”

“We’ve talked about this.” 

They had talked about it. They had been talking about this subject since they were 15, and in all honesty, Peter was sick of it. Maybe he was being insensitive, but! But! In his defence, he didn't understand why it had to be such a big deal. They liked each other, and it wasn't like they weren't doing everything couples do anyways.

“You said he was going to talk to him by now,” Peter pointed out, “what happened?”

James was biting his lip, nervous habit, “He knows what he wants to say but doesn’t know how to say it.”

“I love him, but it's been almost a month. I can't handle another meeting with this tension in the air.”

“Well Remus hasn't talked to him either, they both keep just.. running off.”

Peter groaned, throwing his head back, “What have we gotten ourselves into?”.

*

(private chat)

peter: so..

remus: no

peter: and are you going to say anything?

remus: i have nothing to say.

peter: you sure abut that?

peter: marlene said you had plenty to say

remus: marlene is a snitch.

remus: and a liar.

peter: I'm not saying you have to apologise but you guys are going to have to talk

remus: i want to apologise!! but do you know how awkward that would be?

remus: hey sirius sorry for kissing you! It was just a prank hahaha.

remus: i hate myself.

peter: dont go emo on me

peter: and you never know! he may not want you to apologize for that

remus: stop.

remus: I'm leaving, marlene and dorcas are coming over

peter: how scandalous. bringing her girlfriend to her boyfriend.

remus: choke.

*

(private chat)

peter: you know what I'm going to ask.

sirius: no i haven't

peter: mate i am begging.

peter: i love you and i know there's something more going on

peter: but our album releases in THREE DAYS.

peter: you will be in forced proximity with him during the party

peter: and interviews.

peter: and idk.. maybe the three month long tour we're having?

peter: might be a little awkward to be stuck with him on a tour bus if your still not talking.

sirius: i know. 

sirius: trust me i know

sirius: it just seems like i can never find the right time

sirius: and i might make it worse

peter: you just need to talk to him, i don't know what else could help

peter: both of you are hurt, i mean he wrote a whole song about it

sirius: yeah that doesn't help

peter: sorry

peter: but please? talk to him? before the party preferably?

sirius: ok.

sirius: i’ll do it now.

peter: what

sirius: I'm going to his apartment, your right. silent treatment isn't helping

peter: what

sirius: sorry got to go

peter: i didnt mean right at this second

peter: sirius???

peter: I DIDN'T MEAN TO DO IT NOW

peter: MAYBE YOU SHOULD YKNOW TAKE A SECOND BEFORE JUST GOING TO HIS APARTMENT???

peter: SIRIUS??

peter: SIRIUS HE MIGHT NOT BE HOME.

*

(private chat)

peter: ok so uhm basically

peter: i may of helped too much.

james: what x?

peter: so i texted sirius

james: ok x

peter: and i 

peter: hypothetically told him to get his act together

peter: and talk to remus

peter: and he may of hypothetically listened too well and is now going to remus’.

james: i don't think you’re meant to use hypothetically like that x

peter: no i think i used it right

james: also im sorry but you did what? x

peter: yeah

peter: oops?

james: peter x

peter: james.

james: yknow what.

james: im not even upset x

james: if it works it works

james: if not thats ok.

james: im going to manifest good things.

*

*

“Oh. Your not Marlene.”

It was the first sentence Remus had directly said to Sirius in weeks, and it was kinda ironic. Yknow.. Sirius likes Remus, Remus saying he's not his fake girlfriend? No? Not funny? Sirius found it a bit funny.

So funny, in fact, that he huffed out a laugh.

He’s bad in stressful situations, sue him!

Remus did not seem to see the irony, just staring at Sirius with his eyebrows creased. God, when did it become hard to talk to Remus Lupin? Sirius was sure he stood there for eternities, his mouth opening and closing like a fish before he settled on something to say.

“Can I come in?”

Remus’ apartment was exactly the same, of course, it was. There wasn’t a lot that could change in a month (ironic.). He felt like he hadn’t been in Remus’ apartment in forever, they had gone from having sleepovers every night to complete silence. He hated it. Which brings him back to why he was there in the first place. To fix this stupid mess.

He turned from where he was standing in the living room, looking around at everything as if it was precious. Remus had hung back by the door, Sirius was facing him now. He just looked at him for a moment. Truth be told, Sirius is still scared. He doesn't know what he wants. He doesn't know if he will break what he has with Remus. He doesn't know a lot of things, but he knows if he never tries he’ll never find out and hell maybe he’ll shock himself and will do everything right. Maybe he won't destroy this with Remus. Maybe it’ll all be good. He just has to try.

“I get paid to talk and now I can't think of a single word to say.” Sirius gave him a tense smile, “Funny, innit?”

Remus lingered in the doorway, his hands picking at his nails, watching Sirius was a sheltered look.

“Why are you here?”

He didn't have a definitive answer to that, there were many reasons he was here. For Remus, for himself, for love, for closure, for pain. He was just there.

“I messed up.”.

Remus sighed, but he finally left the doorway, walking past Sirius into the open living room. Remus nodded to the couch and Sirius sat, they were side by side. 

“I'm sorry.”

It wasn't Sirius who apologised.

“I shouldn't have kissed you.” Remus was rambling now, his eyes never leaving Sirius’, “I didn't mean to make it weird, I just want to be able to go back to normal.”

“I don't think we can.” Sirius said it before even processing the words, and when he saw Remus’ face drop he rushed to explain, “I don't mean like that, wait. Fuck.” Sirius shook his head, trying to get his mind together. He needed to do this right, he needed to not make it worse.

“I think we remember it differently because I was quite sure I kissed you .” Sirius said, “I wanted to, and then I panicked. I’m sorry about that. I dont.. I can't lose you, ok? I can't. I haven't talked to you for almost a month and it has been the worst month of my life, and I know it's my fault and I know I fucked up. But I want to fix it.”

“Fix it?”

“I don't want to go back to how we were, but I want to be something.” Sirius held his breath as he took the moment to take one of Remus’ hands in his, “I do like you, a lot. I have for a while, I think. I don't want to run again, Remus.”

“..What do you mean by something.”

“Well, I want to be with you. I want to sleep next to you, wake up in your arms. I want to hold your hand. I want to take you out. I want to kiss you. I even want the stupid fucking paparazzi photos of that people will try to make a big deal of.”

“Sirius-”

“Or if you don't want that, I want to be your best friend. I want to joke with you, I want to have movie nights at James. I want to pull stupid pranks, and hang out, and everything. I want anything as long as you’re there.”

The room was silent, but Remus hadn't taken his hand back and Sirius hoped that meant something good. In the end, Sirius wasn't expecting much, he wasn't hoping for a grand love proposal or a screaming match, all he wanted was the confirmation that there would still be a Remus & Sirius. Best friends, or more. He just wanted them.

*

I want anything as long are you’re there.

Those words rang in Remus’ ears, he was sure he looked like an idiot. Jaw open and eyes wide, but hell you try getting a love confession from Sirius Black and then you can judge him. Remus didn't know what he was meant to say if he was meant to say anything at all.

Sirius was sitting in front of him, holding his hand like a lifeline, and he looked so terribly nervous. Remus felt as if he was in a dream, and for some stupid reason, one of the only consistent things in his mind was that he had written that song for nothing.

“Ok.”

“Ok?”

“I can work with something.”

*

They had talked. They had talked a lot. Remus wasn't sure he hadn't stopped talking in the 20 or so minutes since he began.

He had never expected to be in this position, talking to Sirius about them- because apparently there was a them now. It was the same them that he had been so accustomed to, it was a them that was so incredibly new that it scared him- as if it wasn't just him and Sirius and it was two completely separate people.

They had mostly talked about the bad part, y’know the whole kiss-and-run situation that had happened just a month ago. Sirius explaining his feelings of guilt and fear, how he had slowly realised his feelings, and how he did want to go somewhere with this but needed time to process. Remus had his fair share of explaining too, his own feelings of self-doubt and fear of ruining what they already had, but they both agreed in the end that they would never know unless they tried.

So they had talked.

They talked about everything but one very important thing.

What exactly a ‘them’ was.

“Hey, Sirius?” Remus breathed out, they were in a very similar position as the one they had been on the day it all went to shit. Both laid on Remus’ bed, side by side, just a sliver of space between them. Sirius was to his left, an arm thrown over his eyes, but he moved it when Remus said his name, cocking an eyebrow and humming. “What is this?”

“What is what?” Sirius asked, his arm coming off of his head and going to rest on his stomach, his eyes meeting Remus’.

“Are you going to make me spell it out?” 

A slow grin took over Sirius’ face, and Remus knew the answer. “I have no clue what you’re trying to say.”

Remus let out a  dramatic sigh, “What are we?”

Sirius’ face sobered a bit, but a small smile still played on his lips. His eyes looked past Remus’, clearly trying to think of a way to correctly phrase the words he wanted to say. “You’re my best friend.”

Remus was quick to jump in when Sirius made no move to continue the statement, “Just best friends?”

Sirius turned on his side, facing Remus fulling and suddenly looking very.. well.. serious. “Moony you’re my everything. The whole fucking universe, from the very first day. I just couldn't see it until now.”

“Oh.”

Well, Remus couldn't help but smile at that.

But that didn't exactly answer his question.

“So.. Does that mean you’ll be my boyfriend?” Sirius asked, thankfully thinking the same thing as Remus.

“No.” Remus said it before he even knew he was going to say it, he found himself cringing at how bluntly he said it but... It got the job done.

“Oh.” Sirius looked shocked, his eyebrows to his hairline and his mouth open as if he had just been slapped.

“It's just, a lot. And soon.” Remus rushed to explain, “We’ve been best friends for so long, and then we just had a little.. spat for a month. I think it would be better if we just wait a bit, knowing we both like each other before going further. Just to think everything through.”

“Oh.”

“Is that ok?”

Sirius nodded, slowly, his pale skin taking a pink hue. “Well yeah, but I’m a bit embarrassed seeing as I just called you the universe.”

“Well, someone needed to humble you.”

*

(private chat)

sirius: oh

sirius: well i went

peter: ITS BEEN FOUR HOURS??

peter: WHAT THE FUCK SIRIUS

sirius: well you said to fix it!?

peter: I DIDN'T MEAN RIGHT THEN??

sirius: IM IMPULSIVE YOU KNOW THIS?

peter: oh my god you give me heart palpitations.

peter: where are you

peter: do you need me to pick you up

sirius: why would i need you to pick me up

peter: well

peter: in the hypothetical situation that remus threw you out of his apartment and your walking the streets like a stray dog would warrant me picking you up

sirius: have you no faith in me???

peter: idk do i need to pick you up or?

sirius: …

peter: sirius?

sirius: ;)

peter: ew don't send a winky face who do you think you are

peter: that also doesn't answer my question

sirius: :)))) 

peter: STOP BEING WEIRD AND GIVE ME A STRAIGHT ANSWER

sirius: :)))))))) 

peter: I hate you.

*

“Marlene!” Remus had only opened the door a small bit, using his body to block most of it. Marlene was immediately suspicious, narrowing her eyes at the boy and going on her tip-toes to try and see what he was hiding. 

“Remus.” She said slowly, “You forget we were coming over?”.

Remus at least had the decency to look apologetic as he smiled sheepishly at the girls. “Kinda, sorry.”

“It's fine,” Marlene rolled her eyes, stepping forward to go into the apartment but Remus did not budge. She gave him a look because this weird man wasn't letting her into the apartment and was quite literally body-blocking the door. “Remus.”.

“Yes?”

“When you invite someone over, you usually have to let them in.”

Remus nodded his head at that, looking as if he was grasping at straws, “Yes, that is true. But uhm, you see-” There was a crash in the apartment, and Remus turned his head back, Marlene used it to her advantage to push in under his arm and get into the apartment. She could hear Remus call her name but she ignored him in favour of walking into the living room.

It didn't take long for Remus or Dorcas to catch up, finding Marlene standing in the middle of the apartment studying it intently. There wasn't much difference, the room was still in its usual state. Tidy with a few things set out of place. Different books, and a few throw pillows and blankets. 

“Anything you want to tell us, Remus?” Marlene asked, turning around to fix him with a studying look, crossing her arms over her chest.

“No, not really.”

Dorcas hummed, walking to her girlfriend's side, “Yknow from my detective experience I think you are hiding something.”

“The only detective experience you have is from watching criminal minds, Dorcas.” Remus reminded, cocking an eyebrow at her.

“It's still experience!” Dorcas defended, “Like I was saying, you are hiding something.” She stopped for a moment, her eyes scanning the room before a slow smile spread on her face, “Or someone .”

Something flickered across Remus’ face for a moment and Marlene once again was thankful for how smart Dorcas was, a matching grin was on her own face. “Do you have someone here?” She asked, nudging Remus’ shoulder, “This is how you come out of a funk? Invite a hookup?”

“Why do you assume it was a hookup? What if I have my poor mum hiding from you?”

“Now why would you do that? I would love for a chance to meet Hope.” Marlene batted her eyes slowly, hey can you blame her? Mrs Lupin was a sight to see.

“That is why. Stop trying to hit on my mother, your girlfriend is right there.”

“Im open to a throuple if it’s with Hope.” Dorcas interjected.

“I hate all of you.” Remus groaned, “You're never meeting my mother.”

“So if your mum isn't here, then who is?” Dorcas asked.

“That's none of your business.”

“It is when you invite us over and now you’re hiding someone from us!” Marlene insisted, “Don't make me ransack your apartment, just come clean.”

“Fucks sake, just tell her!” A muffled voice called from under the couch.

Slowly, oh so slowly, both Dorcas and Marlene turned to face the couch. It wasn't all that special, red and plush with blankets thrown about it. It was just a bit off the ground, apparently with enough room for someone to slide underneath it, because when Marlene crouched down to the ground and looked under she was met with the face of Sirius Black- sporting a guilty smile.

To be honest, she wasn't all that shocked, she shook her head when she looked at Remus, who as looked as if he was regretting all of his life choices. “Oh, you weak, weak boy.” Marlene chastised, “You have some explaining to do.”

*

*

The night of their album release party Peter noticed a lot of things. 1. The Potters and the Lupins are great at throwing a party. 2. The Marauders had never been more popular. 3. Remus and Sirius were close. Too close.

They had always been touchy friends (obviously.) but after they had apparently ‘talked it out’ the ‘friendliness’ had gone to a whole new level, because personally- Peter had never found himself looking at his friends like that. But that was just Peter.

At least they weren't fighting anymore.

*

The release party had been a hit. It had been hosted in James’ childhood home, with Hope and his parents planning it. They had done a wonderful job, and everyone was seeming to have a great time.

James had spent most of the night with his friends and Lily, joking and talking about their excitement for the album coming out, and the following tour that would come with it. At some point in the night he and Lily had split off from the rest of the group, going outside to sit on the deck.

“I’m gonna miss you while you’re on tour.” Lily mumbled, she had her head leaning on James’ shoulder, his arm slung around her.

“I’ll miss you too.” James sighed, and it was true. He would be gone a minimum of three months for the UK tour, and they hadn't even set US dates yet, he wouldn't really give a lot of chances to see Lily other than on Facetime calls or the rare concert she would be able to make. “Why don't you… Come with me?”

“What?”

“You don't have to come for the whole tour, but maybe for a month of it? We have extra bunks or we could share one, and you could be backstage during shows. I would love for you to be there,  I don't want to miss you for three months.”

“James, I don't know.” Lily sighed, “I still have work.” 

“You could come after you finish a shoot, take a break?” James rushed to add, “You don’t have to of course, I’d understand… but it would be nice to have you there.”

“I’ll think about it.”.

James smiled as he pulled Lily closer to him, even if she didn't come he was just happy to have her with him right now. If they just had to do facetime for the next three months, then they would get through that. Lily was worth it.

*

“You're an idiot, you know?” Remus asked.

“Yet you're still holding my hand.” Sirius teased.

They were in Sirius’ old bedroom, the one he had inhabited when the Potters had taken him in at 16. They were sitting out on the balcony, just enjoying the other’s company. They had split off from the party just an hour till midnight, knowing they would have to be back soon. But for now, it could be just them.

“Do you hear that?” Remus asked.

“..No?”

“Listen.”

And Sirius could hear them now, James and Lily walking outside, just under his bedroom.He and Remus shared a look before going back to watch the couple as they sat down, cuddling up close to each other.

“..Do we say something?” Sirius asked.

“Not unless they start doing something weird.”

“It's James .”

They watched in increasing discomfort as the pair began to have a serious talk, both wondering if they were meant to say something because… well they were kind of eavesdropping. In the end, they both ended up agreeing to do something, and Sirius picked up a stone and chucked it at the back of James' head, sending him falling forward with a shriek. 

James began to look around frantically before his eyes fell on the boys above him, “Sirius? Remus?” He asked, rubbing his head, “What the hell?”

“Sorry, I didn't know how else to get your attention.” Sirius shrugged.

“Speak words like a normal person maybe?” Lily suggested.

“Why on earth would I do that?”

*