Mary Macdonald
Mary Macdonald POV: part one
Mary Macdonald first met Lily Evans when she was five.
Their friendship ended when they were nine years old. When Lily grew close with Severus Snape. Mary despised him. Taking away her favourite person, just for him to act just like a snob at eleven years old—he always was a dick; now calling her a mudblood behind Lily’s back. But Mary never told her. She, never in a million years, would ruin anything for Lily Evans, even if it was Snape.
She knew that Lily would do exactly the same for her—go through a tremendous amount of pain to keep the other from not going through it. Or, at least Mary knows she would do that for her. And Marlene. But there was something so different about Lily. Mary wasn’t able to place it. All she knew was that she would go through hell to make sure Lily wouldn’t. She knew this as soon as she met her ten years ago, of course.
Mary would stare at Lily. And she could for hours. If she’d been given that opportunity. So immensely gorgeous; her features perfect, as her blazing red hair dropped over her shoulders; silky, and shone in any light. She didn’t feel jealous. She didn’t know why. Because every other girl who was close to perfect like Lily was, she felt a huge amount of enviousness, and hatred towards them. But it was different with her
It was ironic. The fact Lily was a flower, yet she shone like the sun. Mary thought if Lily wasn’t the centre of everybody’s universe, they must be an idiot. Because no one in any world would be able to ignore her. Unless they were able to ignore the sun.
But it wasn’t anything more than a friendship.
She wasn’t like Marlene; she liked boys. She’d always been obsessed with male celebrities, fangirling over them when she’d see a poster at the shops back at hope—she liked them. Marlene was only interested in girls, and Remus was only into boys; she couldn’t be interested in both. And if she was into anyone, it would have to be a boy, she knew this.
Marlene and Remus were open, and honest with how they felt. But Mary knew liking boys was moral . As her father and mother would constantly remind her; that being queer isn’t natural, and they expected grandchildren, and a wealthy husband. And she’d give them that. There wouldn’t be any other choice. That’s what she wanted, right?
Mary strolled down the corridor, her mind clouded, barely able to properly get her own thoughts through her mind. She bit her bottom lip, reading a book Lily suggested to her. Of course she’d do it. Read it. For Lily. And her only.
“Macdonald!” The familiar, unpleasant voice of Mulciber echoed in the halls. She rolled her eyes. How was he not able to take a hint?
She hated him. No. She despised him; a way she’d never despised anybody—he was always following her around, asking her out. Continuously , asking her out, and she said no every single time. She wasn’t interested in a slimy, rude, vile git like Mulciber. Not to mention that he was friends with Severus Snape, and she’d rather off herself than get with one of his friends. Or him.
“Yes?” She said, though she knew exactly what he was going to say. He was going to offer to take her on a date as if that’s what she wanted.
“Don’t know if you’ve heard, but Professor Slughorn is having a Christmas party, and we can bring a plus one.”
“Oh that’s great, I’m sure whoever you ask will be excited,” she nodded, attempting to walk away from him quickly. He said her name once again, and she threw her head back softly, turning back around. “Yes?” She repeated.
“Come with me as my date?”
He thinks confidence is the way to go. But Mary would rather see somebody quiet, and polite, so excited to go on a date with her that they could barely form their words. She didn’t want somebody not very bright, and unfortunately cocky—she wanted somebody kind, with a heart too pure for the world. Someone who would let her into the door first, a smile etched upon their face because they were too excited to see her. Not a snob like him.
“No thank you, I would rather die.” At least she wasn’t lying.
He laughed. “Funny.”
“Wasn’t joking.”
He stared at her for a moment, as if he wasn’t sure if she was kidding or not. Which she wasn’t. Like she said, never being the type to lie. Especially not to somebody like him, who never left her alone, even when she made it so clearly obvious that he wasn’t what she wanted.
He pushed her. Hard. Her head hit the wall, as her hand flew up to the spot where it, somehow, stabbed, burnt and stung the most; she moved her hand, when she realised something was dripping over her fingers. Her fingers were stained red. She stared at him, wanting to run. She didn’t want him to hurt her any more.
“Not very nice, is it?!” He asked her, as he spat at her. “Stupid mudblood.”
“Hey!” Snape called out from the other side of the corridor. Her eyes burned; partly embarrassed that she allowed this to happen to her, the other part knowing the next couple of minutes weren’t going to be pleasant. “What are we doing?”
“Knocking some sense into this filthy mudblood,” he cackled. She felt a tear rolling down her cheek, wiping it away immediately.
“Alright,” Snape said, finally. He may as well have spat in her face, too. How was Lily friends with that bloke? She thought, on the verge of falling to the ground, and staying there for the next hundreds of years. “I’ll see you later.”
He strutted away.
As if he had the nerve to speak about James Potter, and playing pranks on people, as if he isn’t like Mulciber in every way Mary could imagine. Mulciber pinned her against the wall, wand at her throat.
“Now, what shall we do to you?”
Please, she cried in her head. Please. Make it stop. She felt herself tearing up, and this time, she just let it happen. Because regardless of how she reacted, he would continue, not having the slightest bit of sympathy. And she’d never had such rage building up in her, but he overpowered her easily.
“What are you doing?!” Lily shouted, running over quickly, as if she was going to tackle Mulciber. Oh god love her, Mary sighed in relief as he quickly let go of her.
She watched as Lily chased him off, her wand in her hand; she was the best at spells in the year. No chance he would challenge her. Especially with Snape completely obsessed with her. “Fucking git,” she grunted, sliding down the wall, where Mary had her face buried in her knees.
Without another second, Lily wrapped her arms around Mary, hugging her tightly; a hand on the back of her head, and the other around her back, bringing her closer. “It’ll be ok, love,” Lily whispered.
It’ll be ok as long as you’re here, Mary thought out of nowhere.
“I… I just want to go.”
Not just Hogwarts. She didn’t want to be here.
Lily didn’t say a word. Mary felt warm. Safe as Lily stayed close to her—you could always count on her to save the day. A real Gryffindor if she’d ever seen one, not like herself, who was crying over a cut on the back of her head.
They soon left, heading to their common room, hopefully she would find Remus and Marlene sitting in there together. Even if he was going through that mostly annoying phase where he never wanted to stop plaiting their hair; he loved doing Lily’s, especially; she had the perfect hair type. Long, and silky. Anybody who dared make fun of it had to the most stupid person to exist, Mary decided.
And she was right. Remus was standing behind Marlene, her hair twisted around his fingers, as he attempted to plait it, and she couldn’t lie; he’d gotten much better over time.
“Lily, my best friend!” Remus winked. “Fancy getting your hair plaited? It’s free, and I’m a pro.”
“Definitely,” she smiled. “Shall we go up to my room?”
Mary felt herself flush, but ignored it as they walked off together. It was just Remus; he was gay. Not that that mattered. Mary couldn’t choose who Lily slept with. Plus, she didn’t want to. Lily Evans was her best friend, and she loved her. As a friend.
Mary jumped onto the lounge, taking a seat beside Marlene, staring at her. She rested her cheek on her hand, a smirk spreading onto her face as she saw Marlene’s face turn to her. She raised her eyebrows.
“So Dorcas Meadowes, very interesting, isn’t she also your twin’s friend?”
“Dane’s best friend,” she nodded, tiredly; Mary could see through that careless act. “I wonder whether he’s going to the Slug Club Christmas party. Actually, I don’t really give a shit, he can go suck a dick for all I care.”
“You never know, he might already be doing that,” Mary winked, attempting to lighten her mood. Marlene glared at her. She shrugged her shoulders. “Well, you’re gay—“
“Quieter, Mary,” Marlene whispered, slapping her softly on her arm. “And being gay doesn’t run in the family, knob.”
“It could,” she muttered. Marlene smiled, swinging her arm around her, as she crossed one leg over the other.
“So what shall we talk about?”
“Let’s talk about your female lover,” Mary chuckled, as she teased her. “Go on, I want to hear every single tiny detail about the love of your life.”
“I will murder you,” she laughed, sighing loudly.
“Point is, you didn’t deny that you fancy her. So. Every detail, Marls.”
“It’s really nothing,” she murmured, her smirk settling into a soft grin. Mary raised her eyebrows, as Marlene’s cheek turned into a light pink. “It was Remus, he set us up, I don’t… I don’t.”
“You can’t even say you don’t fancy her, you unfortunately honest git,” Mary tilted her head, resting it on Marlene’s shoulder. “Tell me about her, Marls, please?”
Mary was second-guessing herself. Maybe if she heard Marlene speak about Dorcas, she would know how she felt about it all. She doubted the way Marlene felt about Dorcas was the way she felt for Lily. Because you don’t fall for somebody you’ve known before you even hit puberty. Before you even had your first crush. And being herself and liking a girl; it seemed so odd to Mary.
“Well, I didn’t even realise until today, when Dorcas asked me to go, because Remus told her to… Yes, Remus told her to. But she agreed immediately, does it mean something?”
Mary chuckled, but gave her advice; the two girls lounged around there for over an hour, chatting about it all; she told Marlene about Mulciber, and was slightly relieved that he wouldn’t talk to her again about going on a date. She also told her that Lily showed up just in time; she described in deep detail the way she chased him down the corridor, her wand in her hand, threatening to hex him—which she never did. Marlene threw her head back in laughter.
Marlene was Mary’s first best friend after she’d arrived at Hogwarts. They met on the train, immediately getting along; Mary had no clue that Lily had also received a letter, slightly bummed that she wasn’t able to speak to her before arriving. Would’ve been nice to have somebody. Especially someone who was a witch, too. But no, she had perfect Severus Snape, who knew everything that needed to be known about the wizarding world.
She was so relieved when she’d finally met Marlene; a loud, and hilarious, yet very kind girl. She wasn’t entirely friendly; too honest about everybody. She’d point out every single flaw about somebody if she’d been given the chance. Maybe that’s why they became friends—they both talk shit about everybody. It’s easy to bond over; hating the same people equals best friends. And that’s what they were; basically sisters.
The days flew by quickly, it was the last few days of school. She knew they would obviously go excruciatingly long, where it felt like double the amount of hours, rather than the normal school day; she was waiting for something—to go back home to her family, but mostly for the friends she made over the previous summer.
Marlene, Remus and Lily would be staying at school that Christmas, for the Slug Club’s party—and Mary sincerely hoped it would go well for Marlene, with Dorcas. Also kind of wishing that they’d both stop playing, and acting as if they weren’t totally pining over one another, and just start snogging already.
Mary felt awful for wanting it to go bad with Remus and Barty; she liked Barty, a lot. He was better than the other Slytherins, wasn’t constantly calling her a mudblood—he wasn’t as completely awful. But she was rooting for Sirius and Remus, as awful as that sounded.
“Hey Mary,” Dane, Marlene’s twin, said to her as she sat in the Great Hall by herself. Dane got sorted into Slytherin, to which Marlene ignored his entire existence whilst they were at school—he wasn’t bad , though. He was as kind as Marlene was. Unfortunately when he got sorted, they both acted like they hated each other.
“Oh hi,” she smiled, gesturing for him to sit across from her. “Where are your friends?” She asked, taking a bite of her toast; there was no point wondering where her friends were. Lily was at the library, Remus would sleep as long as he was allowed to, and Marlene was probably sleeping too.
“Well Regulus should be here any moment,” he informed her, matter-of-factly. “Erm, Pandora is probably… Who knows? Probably at the Lake doing some ritual to ward off negative energy. Barty and Evan sleep in until eight, and Dorcas will probably come with Reg.”
“Alright.”
“Did you know that Marlene is going to the Christmas party with Dorcas?” He leaned forward, as if he was sharing a secret with her. “Of course, neither of them wanted to, but I wonder why.”
“Dorcas didn’t have a date, and then Remus just told ‘em they should go together, not much to it,” she shrugged, tiredly—Marlene would probably hate for her brother to know about the date. Or her feelings. So Mary was going to keep it a secret for her.
“Oh ok.”
“Hey,” Barty came over, sitting beside him. Mary looked away from them, as if she wasn’t talking to Dane a few seconds ago. “Hey Macdonald, do you know how Lupin feels about the party?” He asked.
“Er, I’m not entirely sure, really,” she shrugged her shoulders, forming a polite grin onto her face, hoping Lily of Marlene would show up—and to her horrible luck, Remus fucking Lupin had to be the one to show up right at that moment. “Remus! Great.”
“Don’t sound so excited,” Remus yawned, taking a seat on the opposite side of where Barty was sitting—she was guessing that maybe Remus wasn’t too eager about going to the Christmas party with him. Full moon on Friday as well. He groaned, his head hitting the table.
“Are you ok?”
“I—am—so—tired.”
“Well I have a trick,” she smiles. “Go to sleep at a decent hour.”
“Sorry, I can’t fit that into my anti-Sirius schedule,” he nodded, shutting his eyes.
“Right.”
Mary has always liked Sirius and Remus together. Sure, maybe it wasn’t the best thing to find out when you’ve had a crush on Remus from first year to third. But she found herself not getting too beat up about it—they were a good pairing. With Remus’ constant worrying, but when it came to Sirius, she’d never seen somebody so smooth, and flirty in the best way possible. And Sirius; overly confident, arrogant Sirius having a soft spot towards Remus, where he wouldn’t be so cocky.
That all changed after Sirius led Snape into the Whomping Willow, and Snape acted traumatised afterwards, as if he’d never seen anything so scary. Mary could see through that innocent exterior. He wasn’t scared in the slightest. Rather, proud when he’d almost got Remus expelled from the school. And, Sirius wasn’t really putting Snape in danger. Snape put himself in that position, almost getting himself killed—of course, she’d never speak these words aloud, acting just as angry at Sirius as Remus felt.
Lily showed up in the Great Hall, after spending some of her morning in the library, determined to get ahead of anybody else in the class. Or rather, determined to impress Professor McGonagall, thriving off any validation she gave Lily. Sometimes, Mary wished she had the ambition of Lily Evans. But she was ok with watching as she received the highest grades in the class, not feeling any resentment towards her, because it’s what she deserved. Too perfect for the world, she was.
Mary grinned as Lily lowered into the seat beside her; Barty Crouch and Dane McKinnon still across the table from them. Mary found it completely crazy how two people could look so alike the way Marlene and Dane did; with the same bone structure, and in the strangest way, the same mannerisms. They spoke in the same way, and walked in the same way—so strange that two people who are so close in appearance are so far apart.
“Hello gentlemen,” Dorcas announced. Not to them; to Barty and Dane. She smiled, as Regulus stood right behind her. Mary thought for a moment, absolutely sure she’d never heard a word come out of Regulus. “Where’s McKinnon?” She asked them.
“Wouldn’t you like to know?” Mary leaned forward, winking at her; she’d always been friends of Dorcas. As a couple of the only black girls in the school, they’d always look out for each other; and Mary as a muggle-born, Dorcas would never let anyone call her a mudblood if she was able to help it. Dane clicked his tongue.
“Yeah, Dorcas, you should be happy that she’s not here,” he told her. “You won’t have to spend more time with her than you already do at the Slughorn’s party.”
“Yeah,” she nodded; slightly sadly, though no one else seemed to notice. Maybe she was dreading going to it with Marlene. In that case, Mary decided Dorcas’ taste must be shit. “Yeah, true.”
Marlene groaned; always in a mood when she’d wake up on days where she and James weren’t training. She thrived off of waking up at the crack of dawn, and heading down to the Quidditch Pitch, training with James; the co-captains of the team. And the best players Mary had seen in a while—Mary played, too, alongside James as a chaser, but no way was she going to get up before the sun even rose.
“What the fuck are you doing here?” She asked her brother, as she straightened her shirt, putting on her Gryffindor robe—once again, rubbing it in his face that they weren’t in the same house. Mary felt bad. But Marlene had the sort of pride no one else did—and she supposedly hated conflict, except when it came to her brother. “Piss off.”
“I am having a civilised conversation with a human being,” he glared. “You should try it sometime.”
“Being a human being, or having a civilised conversation, because if it was the first one, I suggest you try that.”
“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” He crossed his arms, their gaze so intense; full of hatred. Or feelings they should’ve talked through. But being siblings, they were both too proud to admit they were in the wrong in the slightest.
“It means stop being a stone cold prat like a normal person .”
“Alright!” Mary threw her arms up; she smiled, as she noticed the glares of Dane and Marlene, staring at her. Or at least, she tried to smile, forcing one onto her face. She didn’t like people staring at her. “You can sit at the, erm, Slytherin table, and we’ll stay here.”
“Yes, we will,” Dane stood up from the table, storming off from the table; Regulus turned around clueless, as if he really had no clue of what was going on. When Barty went, he followed almost immediately.
“McKinnon,” Dorcas nodded. “Saw you at the Quidditch Pitch this morning, and all I could—“
“All you do is watch, and wish deeply that you were as talented as me… Don't worry, Meadowes, it will get better eventually.”
“Aw, it’s adorable how you think you’re better than me,” she smiles, walking away. Mary laughed; so obvious that the two had feelings for each other—after the years of rivalry, they’d both fancied each other.
And Mary was still waiting.