Slytherins are just stealthier Gryffindors - and where to properly sort Draco
7th of March 2022
Queen of the Cards, Lady of EHoW slytherins are just stealthier gryffindors
allhailthewatcher Where’s the lie
My mom is the most Gryffindorish person I have ever met in my life. It’s hilarious and terrifying because why are you so obsessed with dangerous sports and SO RECKLESS STOP
Theodore Z DiAngelo @Queen of the Cards, Lady of EHoW ex-squeeze me?
Slytherins are way better than those dang lions
Theodore Z DiAngelo I may be a Slytherin-Hufflepuff hybrid but i wont stand fir such imsults.
Theodore Z DiAngelo Slytherins are sneaky, dignified, calculating, and above all else we protect our own. Gryffindors are reckless, fullhardy and as gentle as a rampaging hippopotamus
allhailthewatch Not to defend idiotic recklessness, but there is something to be said for bravery, in certain situations
Chaos Coordinator - she/her And chivalry and honor
allhailthewatcher Ew
But yes sure that too
Chaos Coordinator - she/herall the slytherins debating gryff traits
Theodore Z DiAngelo Slytherins have honor.
allhailthewatcher To quote Theo in the first s&s—they have their uses
Chaos Coordinator - she/her Of course they do. And slytherins are brave. And gryffs can be sneaky.
Theodore Z DiAngelo Its just honor to ourselves. Gryffs honor everyone. They have zero self-preservation.
Chaos Coordinator - she/her It’s about the choices you make.
Theodore Z DiAngelo Im not bashing them i jiat rhink slytherins are closer to ravenclaws than gryffindorks
Queen of the Cards, Lady of EHoW y'all let the biggest losers in your house
Crabbe.
Goyle.
Malfoy.
all the other non-characters
allhailthewatcher What, vs Pettigrew?
Queen of the Cards, Lady of EHoW none of em have more than five braincells
that's one wanker
Theodore Z DiAngelo Excuse me we have the noble greengrasses. The sexy Zabini and the adorable theo
Queen of the Cards, Lady of EHoW veryone has to have at least one, it's in the charter
allhailthewatcher Not to mention the ice queen
Theodore Z DiAngelo Daphne
Chaos Coordinator - she/her Oh we’re getting the good fights now
Queen of the Cards, Lady of EHoW we didn't want people that bully our goddess luna, but we were forced to accept them
Theodore Z DiAngelo Gryffindor also has a bunch who just went there because "family" we all know the twins and percy belonged in slytherin and hermione belinged in ravenclaw.
The only reason harry didnt come home to the pit is that prat malfoy
Queen of the Cards, Lady of EHoW like i said, slytherins just have more stealth. they are more backstabby
Theodore Z DiAngelo Once again pettigrew?
Queen of the Cards, Lady of EHoW the famously sneaky, dignified, calculating prat malfoy?
Chaos Coordinator - she/her And Marietta
allhailthewatcher Slytherin are incredible loyal
We’re just selective
Theodore Z DiAngelo Ugh edgecombe
Queen of the Cards, Lady of EHoW malfoy is 100% only there because of his family don't try to deny it
Queen of the Cards, Lady of EHoW once again, one wanker
Chaos Coordinator - she/her Gentle
allhailthewatcher Where should he have gone?
Queen of the Cards, Lady of EHoW but mooom, it was just getting fun
allhailthewatcher Hufflepuff? I don’t think so
Queen of the Cards, Lady of EHoW idk
somewhere where i dont have to hear his snooty voice
stick him with filch for all i care
Theodore Z DiAngelo Lets also not forget sweet gentle lovable neville who was pressured half his life by his grandmother yo be just lile his father shoulfve been in hufflepuff. And hell no the badgers dont want that wanker.
allhailthewatcher Turn him into a cat
Maybe that’s where Mrs Norris came from
Queen of the Cards, Lady of EHoW no cats don't deserve his company
I KNOW!
give him to lockhart!!!
allhailthewatcher Perfect
Queen of the Cards, Lady of EHoW both blond pretentious prats
allhailthewatcher I think you’d create a monster tho
Can you imagine how bad he’d get if he got that much encouragement?
Theodore Z DiAngelo Sounds like a geneva convention violation to me.
Queen of the Cards, Lady of EHoW eh, they'd get got by someone pissed for the plagiarism at one point or other
allhailthewatcher War crime waiting to happen
Queen of the Cards, Lady of EHoW luckily that doesn't apply in the magical world
allhailthewatcher Ha point
Chaos Coordinator - she/her Lol turn him into a cat
allhailthewatcher dUMBLEDORE
Queen of the Cards, Lady of EHoW only if he [Draco as a cat] takes mrs norris' place
allhailthewatcher Beautiful
Queen of the Cards, Lady of EHoW give her to me
i'll make her a great companion
i'll give her poison claws and sicc her on umbridge
it'll be awesome
allhailthewatcher Yesss
Chaos Coordinator - she/her Low key I love Draco tho so
Theodore Z DiAngelo NI CAT DESERVES UMBRIDGE IN THEIR VICINITY
allhailthewatcher I’ll help you catnap her
True but you’d be rescuing all the plate cats
Queen of the Cards, Lady of EHoW she'd be so proud for ending her tho
she'd be a war hero
adored for all eternity
people would worship her, as we ought to do with all cats
Queen of the Cards, Lady of EHoW relaaax, i'm sure the anti-being-frozen-by-basilisk potion will work on transfigured humans as well
Theodore Z DiAngelo On that subject... why the hell didnt they order already matured mandrakes and cure them sooner?
Queen of the Cards, Lady of EHoW thanks mate. i'll give you an occasional time slot with her
allhailthewatcher Because dumbledore’s a manipulative bastard who wanted to test Harry?
Queen of the Cards, Lady of EHoW maybe they only grow at certain points in the year bc planet alignment or somesuch
Theodore Z DiAngelo Right...... sure......
allhailthewatcher Or maybe they’re a restricted plant? Like theyre so dangerous they can only be sold as seedlings or whatever
Queen of the Cards, Lady of EHoW listen i'm always the first to suspect fumbles, but i thought it'd get less convincing if I only suspect him every time so i thought i'd spice it up
Theodore Z DiAngelo Or dumbledore is lazy as hell and didnt think to do it.
allhailthewatcher You’d rather him be negligent than manipulative?
Theodore Z DiAngelo He can be both.
allhailthewatcher Well that’s true
Queen of the Cards, Lady of EHoW i'd rather he were dead, if you're giving me a choice
Theodore Z DiAngelo Well he is so
Queen of the Cards, Lady of EHoW hogwarts would've been so much more chill for harry if minerva had been headteacher
Theodore Z DiAngelo And another damn thing
Are you gonna sit here and tell me one of the greatest wizards of all time really put on a ring he found in a place he knew was dark????
allhailthewatcher THIS HAUNTS ME
Theodore Z DiAngelo Hella sus
allhailthewatcher What the HELL DUMBLES
Queen of the Cards, Lady of EHoW real gryffindor move
allhailthewatcher One of the few times he actually acted like his house
Queen of the Cards, Lady of EHoW it's not really fun mocking the lions if there are none here to get outraged
which is why i have to resort to comparing you snakes to them
Theodore Z DiAngelo Pick on the ravens. Theyre not made fun of nearly enough. Especially the cry-kisser
Queen of the Cards, Lady of EHoW we dont claim her
Theodore Z DiAngelo Or the sneak
Or the plagerizer
Queen of the Cards, Lady of EHoW all kicked out
we've got the most iconic character anyway
Theodore Z DiAngelo There is literally only one thing hufflepuff has bad.
Zacharias "let me save my own ass by pushing 11 year olds dow " smith
Queen of the Cards, Lady of EHoW and you probably have us to thank for half the spells you use
Queen of the Cards, Lady of EHoW bee did what now
Theodore Z DiAngelo In the last book durong the final battle he literally pushed first years out of his way so he could save his own ass.
Queen of the Cards, Lady of EHoW and nobody thought to knock him out or hit him with a petrificus?
that's a bad mark for the house as far as i'm concerned
you know none of us helped the sneak get clear skin again
Theodore Z DiAngelo Honestly i dont think anyone gave a single fudge avout the pretentious dbag.
Official Oldest Brother👱 What house was Fudge in?
Also Umbridge was a Slytherin
Theodore Z DiAngelo "Im descended from helfa hufflepuff" last ine claimed that got murdered by voldie so simmer down blondie.
Umbridge was also halfblood despife claiming otherwise
Min the descendent of House Want i'd say slytherin just for the ambition? for fudge
Memelord (heir of OTTO) Hephzibah was probs Zachs great aunt or something
Queen of the Cards, Lady of EHoW unknown
Queen of the Cards, Lady of EHoWdumb
Official Oldest Brother👱 I’m giving him to slytherin
Queen of the Cards, Lady of EHoW i'm sure they want him
Theodore Z DiAngelo @Queen of the Cards, Lady of EHoW no makes sense she was a snake. Ambitious and evil.