The ramblings of Magpie's Hoard

Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
G
The ramblings of Magpie's Hoard
Characters
All Characters, n/a, potentially - Character, Idk we'll see - Character
Tags
Worldbuilding Lore - Freeform Fanon Hydrate or die straight Ways to murder for fun and profit but it's kept separate from the rest so don't worry if you don't like that
Summary
This is my attempt at compiling the speculations, hypotheses, theories, and discussions that happen in the discord of anonymous magpie (Sarcasm & Slytherin, Once and Future King, Trunk full of Chaos, etc.) https://archiveofourown.org/users/anonymousmagpie/pseuds/anonymousmagpieI'm doing this 1) to keep (summarised versions of) our discussions available because some of our conclusions were quite fun2) to give inspiration to anyone with enough patience to actually write a fic, rather than just throwing out promptsThere will be wand lore, mockery of canon plot holes, ideas for deviation points from canon etc.Also lots of discussions of fun ways to use magic in more creative ways to cause pain/death than torture curse/magic gunAll credit goes to #general-hp-universe in this discord: https://discord.gg/ahbdvPDZ5d (anonymous magpies server)
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Fic prompts

  1. McGonagall gets mad that Albus won't let her protect Harry, so she sticks around as a cat to protect and assist him
  2. The Potter family cat (maybe being secretly a kneazle) finds Harry after being brought to Privet Drive and stays by his side as his familiar
  3. Crack-fic: PETA (or a human rights organisation) enters the magical world and demands that animals/criminals set for death will only be killed via the AK
  4. Hedwig as a cat (because 1. you don't buy someone a pet based on your allergies and 2. the Dursleys would've been far more accepting of a cat). Specifically a very large cat to make @Stars happy offshoot of that:
  5. CROOKSHANKS as Harry's pet
  6. Crack-fic: Arthur is actually the Head Unspeakable and no one realizes because no one actually knows what his Department does so they never question it
  7. Fic centered around the Resurrection Stone ruining people (like Lily haunting Snape)
  8. AU where Voldi curses the headmaster position instead of the DADA position
  9. Drabble in which boggarts have to represent more abstract or complex fears (climate change, fear of the unkown, etc.)
  10. Not much of a prompt, but stories outside the western magical hemisphere are woefully underrepresented
  11. Muggleborn kid getting around the no-magic-outside-school by getting a house elf (since house elf magic can apparently not be distinguished from wixen magic/ house elves can use wixen magic)
  12. The statute of secrecy falls - Albus, Voldi, and Harry work together while Snape has to go spy on muggles.
  13. Mundungus grows a brain and starts robbing rich muggles instead; maybe starts forging lost famous pieces of art (paintings, sculptures, etc.)
  14. Hermione, the war heroine, and Justin, the rich and connected heir, pair up to drag the wixen world into the present kicking and screaming.
  15. Somebody write a choose-your-own-adventure version of the Triwizard Maze because I'm not going to and I want to read it
  16. Crack AU where someone gifts a copy of Matilda to everyone in Harry's fifth year and use it to torment Umbridge
  17. Umbridge redemption fic where Harry is an unreliable narrator, either due to the effects of the Killing Curse as a baby, the Cruciatus in the graveyard, or whatever else
  18. Harry gets adopted (more or less legally) by Arcturus Black II
  19. Fic from the perspective of one of the missing Blacks without death-date, chilling out in some remote place while the rest of the world deals with Voldis bullshit
  20. Not so much a prompt by itself, but making the use of several different mocking names for old No nose nutsack, Mr. Voldesnort, The Dork Lord a big thing could be hilarious.
  21. Have the diary horcrux gain a body and then start drama with the noseless version from the graveyard
  22. a self-study group for history in the vein of the DA, complete with rap battles and political theory leading to protests about injustice in the magical world
  23. Revelation: Helga Hufflepuff was actually the evil one the whole time. She brought in the slaves, after all.
  24. have interesting/ expensive stuff in the chamber of secrets that Harry can share with the Weasleys so we can drop the annoying point of the Weasleys being poor with Harry, pockets full of galleons, standing at the side lines thinking "hm, how sad. if only someone would help them"
  25. possessed Ginny sneaking around under Harry's cloak using the Marauders Map
  26. reimagine the Patronus as a different kind of protector the way they worked in Ancient Rome
  27. Independent!Harry who hates Dumbledore for being a lame ass centrist (there is literally no progresssive/left wing in HP because progress = scary/bad to Joanne)
  28. save the stuff from Grimmauld Place from The Wrath Of The Weasleys. Idc how, just do it
  29. Marauder Era fic where they use a more sensible safety measure (i.e. reveal a fake secret and pretend it's porn or something else teenage boys stereotypically enjoy without it being useful as blackmail material)
  30. Ginny + Bat Bogey Hex vs Dumbledore (or Riddle/Voldi, I'm not picky. Curious where the bats would come from with the No Nosed Bastard, in any case)
  31. Justice for Knockturn Alley! It's definitely just a poor area, isn't it?
  32. Since there's such a focus on names in canon (some names at least), have someone with Fate-related names (Moira, Clotho, Lachesis, Atropos, etc.)
  33. AU where Voldi notices Harry is a horcrux when he possesses him in the Ministry and takes steps to deal with that issue
  34. Instead of giving Malfoy heavyset thugs as "friends" like a muggle kid (since nobody ever accused Crabbe and Goyle of being all that magically gifted), have him and his group be a dark mirror of the main trio. A swotty friend who uses their bookish nature to find spooky mean magic, and whatever a bad version of Ron would do in Slytherin
  35. Werewolf rights activist Lavender using her entirely legitimate skills in divination
  36. Teachers in a snit at Snape when Hogwarts suddenly has to teach all wix children in the UK and their workload doubles
  37. Crack-fic: Dumbledore puts the Philosopher's Stone under the Fidelius and Quirrellmort stumbles around, wondering why he's even at Hogwarts (or knowing why he's there but having no access), then starts employing the kids to help find it with the excuse of teaching them to feel magical energy in items or something
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